Description: A writing how-to

How do I type a story without having the description and the angst running across the pages?

I know it sounds strange, but for some odd reason, I tend to write script format really well. When I jot lines down on paper and get on the computer, the descriptions run for pages, especially in the action sequences.


Anyone know what's up with that totally inexplicable phenomenon, and how to curtail it without ruining the story?

 

Well, there's the old 'show, don't tell'. If you tell, your descriptions often tend to run away from you. Yet when you show, they seem more managable, if that makes sense...

 

It's tricky cause you read it and it looks good, then you look at it and you think 'Have I got a spare day to get through this paragraph?'

A bit of dialogue midway through which points the action etc towards the rest usually works for me.

Or a bit of inner monologue.

 

I fail to see the problem with oozing angst and boundless description. Those are good things; it's a much more serious problem to have a dearth of description. It ties back into the purpose in writing (and reading for that matter). The satisfaction (for me) has at least as much to do with the journey itself, not necessarily the plot-driven destination.

But if you are bound and determined to deny your descriptive disposition then just delete the offending passages. Or is that too simple?

 

I like to tie the descriptions into the action, so to speak. I'm not too fond of someone walking into a room and then describing the entire room in one shot. Instead, I think it flows better when the character walks in, puts their hand on the XYZ which looked like ABC and turns to his friend and says "blah blah." Later as they move around the room, he can notice other things, maybe frowning at a painting that reminds him of someone he hated, or something he misses. That sort of thing. I'm the same way about physical description - I like it to flow with the story, not seem like a, "And now we pause for some description!" type of thing.

I hope this is reasonably coherent - I'm finishing up here at work and my brain is slightly frazzled.

 

I think I know what wendynat is talking about because I do that whole room description thing... However, since I consider the environment to be a character in the plot, description is necessary for me.

That being said, perhaps, in action sequences you have to figure out where the action is going, who's doing the movements and what outcome you are aiming for, then intermingle action with description. For example, if you are doing a lightsaber duel on rock, have the combatants stumble on the rock, or slide on gravel. I've used tree limbs for action sequences so make sure you say if the branches are dead or hanging loose from a lightsaber slash. That sort of thing.

Description can be overused or underused. The right balance is hard to do and also it depends on whether you like description or not....

Does that help?

 

I write in script format too.
Sometimes It's a better choice.
Other times you really need that narrative format.
But I guess it comes down to personal choic.

 

I'm big on the descriptive end, too, but SHOW DON'T TELL is one of the tried and true rules of fiction. Also you might limit your descriptive paragraphs--put a self imposed cap at four sentences and then make yourself move into some action/dialogue.

 

Dianethx - Description definitely has its place, and you're completely right that it can be under or over-used. The environment is often a character in the plot (I love that way of explaining it!! ) in SW fanfic, particularly when it's a new planet, but I still think three paragraphs of just pure description without any breakup will all too often cause the reader to start to skim. A few sentences (as Oqidaun mentioned), then some action or even thoughts from a character about how the environment affects them, seems to be more readable.

I've noticed description being "abused" more with regards to character traits, though, and less so with environmental description. It's the ancient adage that everyone's already mentioned, of course, of "show don't tell". Sometimes, if it's not a significant aspect of the character or it's not something you want to dwell on, telling is fine. But I'm not too fond of a long paragraph describing a character as "mean, impatient, six foot two, rude but soft on the inside, etc". Those things can easily be shown through interaction, inner monologue, or pure action.

Great topic!

 

I think I know exactly what the SilSolo is talking about.

I had a fantasy piece from a friend, where the character walks into some wizards' study, and we get a description of EVERYTHING IN THE ROOM: shelves of books, each and every ornament, paperweight, description of furniture.

We get it!

Think about it. You walk into a room, you get that there are ton of books, some furniture, then you move on.

Same when you are writing. Descriptions should never exceed three lines. Get that out the way, then move on.

There is a term I use. "Covers all salient points." With descriptions, that is what you want to do.

- Laughing as I recall talking about that film of someone eating just MacDonalds for a month.
I was going to recount some of the effects on the film-maker's cholesteral, weight, kidneys, but someone else summarised it for me: "It f[bleep]ed him up."

What can you say? Covers all salient points.

And if you are writing descriptions in a story, that is all you are after! Hope that helps.

 

LOL. It all depends on your point of view. I happen to love to read description so I gravitate towards stories with that as a major part. Believe me, I don't skim.

And my readers have never complained about my writing style...LOL.

If I started to read a story and it had very little description, I usually
think that the author couldn't be bothered and I'd probably not finish the story. Other people would look at long descriptions and think that the author didn't have enough experience to know when to shut up.

That's why there are so many different stories and ways of telling those stories. That's what is great about this site. Something for everyone.

 

Okay, the problem with running on and on with description is that I don't have time but want to get the story done, as shown by the typos in my first post.

 

Dianethx - Absolutely! It'd be a boring place if we all wrote the same way . I was just answering from the point of the original poster, where they felt their descriptions were too much/too dragged out. There are some fabulous works that are extremely description heavy - in both fanfic and profic (Tolkien comes to mind) - that I absolutely love. So it definitely does depend on the story and what the writer is going for in it, and also how "interesting" the description is. I think someone mentioned a writer overdescribing something common, like an office... if it's something most readers are already familiar with, and there's nothing "different" or stand-out concerning the office, then describing it in minutae can be a bit much (and that's when I begin to skim ). I didn't mean to sound as if I dismiss description as unimportant or something to skim over - that's what I get for posting before work and coffee LOL!

 

No problem, wendynat. I figured it was something like that.

silsolo - since you are having problems with description and feel that you want to get on with the story, that's what you should do. Keep the adjectives to a minimum, use a lot of dialogue and make the story the way you want it to go. If you are still having problems, you might want to go onto the concrit thread that Leona suggested and ask there. Or find yourself a beta reader or a Master to make suggestions. Good luck.

 

That wouldn't really work because my main problem with description is that I don't have the time to write as much as I used to and description takes time. Oh, and my plot bunnies don't organize themselves enough to allow me to write on paper that much.

 

SilSolo, why don't you present us wiuth one of your descriptive chunks, and allow us to suggest ways to whittle the fragger down.

You can then criticise or adopt our attempts.

 

When I first start writing a new post, I type away and just write it as it comes to my brain, then I reread the whole thing edit, and edit till only one third is left.

But it saddens me to delete the details of say a new planet one that my exists only in my imagination or to explain why a certain people have laws that seem inhuman or barbaric, there usually is a good explanation in their history, but one risks boring the readers with the details that focus away from story.

I see that professional writers also have these problems, they can't explain everything in detail because the book would exceed its limits of words. But pros then have to face the rigorous -fans-critics, who sift through every detail and demand explanations.

Sometimes I wish that we had the technology to just allow people to access our brains so that they could see the wonderful images that my brain has conjured but that I am unable, no matter how many pages I type out, to paint just with words. Of course there are the gifted writers who can do that very easily but alas not every one is gifted with words. Maybe writers in the future might be able to download posts-a brainfile(images, sounds, smells) directly from their brains into the internet. That would be just wizard!

 

Yeah, I gotta say, this is a problem that's been haunting me for a while, too. Too much description is boring, too little takes away quality... there's really no set number to how much description you use, just how good your description is. Some descriptions you can read a page and a half straight through with no dialogue and feel fine (like Heart of Darkness). How do you master that? Maybe stay away from the cliche's and describe stuff that you don't normally see described.

 

Interesting topic

Most crucial to deciding how much to describe is what POV you're writing from. A pilot might notice the new patch job on his fighter but his girlfriend wouldn't, she'd see notice the cute female technician working on the patch (and get jealous ). Describe only what is necessary to tell the story. Readers have wonderfully imaginative minds. I've written battle scenes with little or no description, but the readers commented that they can see the whole thing in their mind. That's because their imaginations did all the work.

Take for instance, Jedi B in the middle of a fight. Would he notice the brown bark on the tree? Or the type of tree? No. The tree would only enter his conscious stream at the point he needed it for cover or to smack his opponent's head on. Or in a furball, pilot Y wouldn't notice smells, only sights and sounds, unless her fighter was smoking then it would be apropos to describe the smell since it is the character's clue. Too, why describe the fighter? That's not something the character needs to think about if she's flown it a lot. Now if it's a totally new craft, then yes the descriptions could become critical to the scene. The yoke is not the place she's comfortable with, or she can't find the fire controls, stuff like that.

Hope that helps

 

Choose your details carefully and use only the ones that advance your plot.

When I was writing my novel, Another Hope, some scenes were just chock full of details and those scenes were running about ten pages long. After three rounds of editing, I cut out ninety percent of those details. The details that were left were spare but pungent and moved the story along.