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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Desperation (NJO J/J fic; UPDATED!! 3/21... yes, that's 3/21 2005!!)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by StormKnight, Jul 19, 2002.

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  1. Saber-of-Light

    Saber-of-Light Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
  2. jagfellover

    jagfellover Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 2002
    Oh wow! This is a really good story. I just found it today. Let me guess, though. Jag is the "captive" for the Vong to use as bait for Jaina right? I hope so, because that means he's still alive. Please post soon!
    --JagFelLover
     
  3. StormKnight

    StormKnight Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jun 26, 2001
    *~*~*~*

    Jaggie_Jaya: Actually, SK isn't writing this. He's a big help, though :)

    SK says: I just let Iella think she's doing the writing. ;)

    Lt_Jaina_Solo: It's a conspiracy - we're all out to hurt him. You should try it, it's fun ;)

    tendra_271: That's my job :D

    Lady_Jaina_fel: Really? You know something I don't, apparently... [face_devil]

    Leah-Beth: Thanks :)

    SoL: Tahiri is a cool character B)

    Goddess_Jaya: SK says I mince words too much - that section was originally supposed to be a bit longer, but oh well :)

    Drama_Princess86: Yes, I know the feeling - I've been on both ends of a cliffhanger ;)

    Thanks to everyone for the feedback! It's really encouraging. :) Oh, and sorry that my posts are generally so short - they seem a lot longer on MS Word :(

    *~*~*~*

    Wedge was tired, and looked older than he should have. Jaina sort of noticed this she settled down into a chair in his office.  She must have looked awful too, she realized dimly. Not sleeping or eating eventually took its toll, even on Jedi.

    "Jaina." Wedge nodded briefly to acknowledge her, and his features became somewhat more professional. "I know I don't need to say that despite the great loss we've both suffered, the war goes on."

    "Yes, sir," she replied automatically. She acknowledged his words in the outer edges of her consciousness, but her mind, as it had been for the past two days, was unfocused. This needed to be done, that needed to be done. Eventually, all these tasks would form a complete project, but what the goals were, she no longer knew.

    "Jaina," Wedge repeated her name.

    She started, not remembering what the general had been talking about. "Sir."

    "We're going to shift some people around in your squadron. Luke wants to know if you'd like a Jedi replacement for Jag." His _expression became concerned, his eyes searching hers for an indication of her emotional state.

    Jaina was momentarily disoriented. "Replacement for Jag?" The thought had never occurred to her. No one could replace Jag.

    Wedge winced slightly, then rephrased his sentence. "Luke wants to know if you'd like to have a Jedi take the spot of Twin Suns Three."

    There was a long pause. Jaina knew why she had come to see Wedge, and it wasn't to find someone to fill her squadron. It was, in fact, as completely opposite from that as could be. Before she could communicate this, though, Wedge interrupted her thoughts.

    "Jaina, are you flight-capable?"

    That startled her and forced her to focus on the general. "Yes, sir. Of course. I'm flight capable."

    Wedge sighed, sitting back and resting his elbows on the arms of his chair, hands clasped together. "Very well. I'll take you at your word for now, but if you show signs ofâ?| emotional instability or recklessness, I'm going to relieve you of duty, goddess or not." Silence lingered for a moment as Jaina nodded, knowing perfectly well that he would carry through with the threat.

    "Sir, I can fly, but-"

    "Good." Leaning forward again, Wedge ignored her "but" and went back to business. "Shawnkyr Nuruodo has requested and received permission to return to the Unknown Regions, both to report the current situation of the New Republic military, and-" His voice tightened slightly, coming out strained. "And the unfortunate death of Colonel Jagged Fel."

    Her face didn't betray the fierce emotion that tore through her insides at his words. Death was soâ?| final. Irreversible. Unacceptable.

    "Sir, I'd like to-" She stopped as Wedge held up his hand.

    "I'm not done yet, Lieutenant. Please endure with me." He reached inside his desk and tossed a datacard at her, which she caught. "Intel went through Jag's room, and they gave Shawnkyr most of his things to take back with her. We kept a few things, though. That datacard holds a message, addressed to you. I didn't look at it, but you should probably read it when you get a chance."

    "Wedge, I don't want command of my squadron anymore."

    The silence this time was tangible. Wedge'
     
  4. Lt_Jaina_Solo

    Lt_Jaina_Solo Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    May 27, 2002
    awesome post! i can't wait for more!
     
  5. Saber-of-Light

    Saber-of-Light Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Amazing post! Poor Jaina. Amyways, MS word makes thing seem bigger, I guess. I learned that when I started my story today.
     
  6. Goddess_Jaya

    Goddess_Jaya Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 24, 2002
    Another great one Iella. I found the title of the new prototype weapon very fitting by honoring Storm. It's a good thing Wedge knocked some sense into Jaina (or at least tried to). Maybe Soontir will get so mad that he lost his son to the Vong that he'll convince the Chiss to send a whole fleet to the NR and then find out that Jag (and Jacen) are alive!

    Sorry. [face_blush] Got a little carried away. Great post! :D
     
  7. tendra_217

    tendra_217 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 13, 2002
    Good Post. Nice to see Wedge impart his wisdom on Jaina.
     
  8. Drama_Princess87

    Drama_Princess87 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 30, 2002
    Great postie! :D
     
  9. Leah-Beth

    Leah-Beth Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 6, 2002
    Stupendous post!! I loved how you captured Wedge's emotions so well. Can't wait for more, Iella! (See, I remembered!! :D )
     
  10. JainaJag00

    JainaJag00 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 11, 2002
    great post.... i'm back by the way.
     
  11. StormKnight

    StormKnight Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jun 26, 2001
    *~*~*~*

    LJS: I hope this was sort of worth your wait...

    SoL: Good start on your story. I'll be reading, even though I can't post... ;)

    Goddess_Jaya: Hmm... interesting theory. :p

    tendra_217: Wedge is cool. :cool:

    Drama_Princess87: Thanks :)

    Leah-Beth: :) Continuation is very interesting so far... I've never really liked Jacen/Tahiri, but you make it readable ;) Oh, and cliffies = :( But it's so much fun, yes? ;)

    JainaJag00: Thanks... and glad to see you stick around. :)

    To all my readers, including those who are lurking (hopefully there's some of you out there...) School, as many of you may know, will soon begin interefering with my writing life. The Dark Side is strong indeed, for no power can overcome Darth School. Hopefully, even though the posts will start coming slower than they already are, you guys will stick around and up this occasionally, because I'm rather excited about where this story is going. :)

                             -Iella

    *~*~*~*

    The Force was a bottomless well of pure water. Luke Skywalker savored its gentle kiss, feeling it course through his body and refresh it. No, not just his body, but his spirit as well, and his emotions. Its security wrapped around him like a cloak, and he delighted in its tangibility. Through it, he felt the presences of others: his wife, Mara; his little son, Ben; his sister, Leia; his niece, Jaina...

    Jaina. He could feel her approaching, seeking his presence. Slowly, and somewhat reluctantly, he brought himself out of his meditative state. He regained full awareness through his physical senses as the door chime sounded.

    "Come in," he called. Rising from his sitting position, he extended his arms to Jaina in a hug.

    "Uncle Luke," she greeted him. The fire usually in her eyes was subdued, but certainly not extinguished. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

    "Not at all," he replied. "What can I do for you?"

    They sat together on the couch, and she bit her lip for a moment, unsure of how to proceed. "I think..." she sighed unhappily, "that since you're my uncle, a Jedi Master, and a pilot, that you'll be able to understand what I'm going through."

    Luke nodded, his mind brushing hers gently. "Jag's death hit you hard. Harder than you expected it to."

    "Yes," Jaina said. She closed her eyes as she spoke. "I don't know if it's because I feel like such a failure, or because of... of something else."

    "First of all, blaming yourself for his death is perfectly natural. I don't know how long it took me to get over the idea that I had killed Biggs Darklighter at the Battle of Yavin. You're incorrect in blaming yourself, but it's perfectly understandable." His voice was warm and kind, holding no trace of accusation, no hint that he found her incompetence contemptible.

    "What am I supposed to do about it, then?"

    Luke sighed. "It will go away, in time. You'll realize, sooner or later, that there was nothing you could have done to prevent his death. Listen to the Force, and see what it tells you. But first, you have to find peace. I can feel your desire for revenge, and I caution you strongly to not follow that path."

    Jaina's eyes opened. "The Vong don't exist in the Force. Is hating them still of the dark side?"

    Luke's eyes became mournful. "Anakin actually discussed this with me when he returned from rescuing the Jedi students on Yavin. He had the same questions you have, and the same desire to fight the Vong. We both agreed that although the Vong can't be felt, that doesn't necessarily mean they don't exist at all in the Force. Either way, it's never a good idea to let a desire for revenge control you, no matter what or who you want revenge against."

    "That sounds more like something that Jacen would say," Jaina commented quietly. Two old wounds reopened. Anakin, her little brother, who had died on a mission to Myrkyr. Jacen, her twin. No one knew for sure if he was dead or alive. She felt some lingering anger at what she perceived to be his betraya
     
  12. Lt_Jaina_Solo

    Lt_Jaina_Solo Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    May 27, 2002
    that was good. can't wait for more
     
  13. tendra_217

    tendra_217 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 13, 2002
    That was great
    I'm left speechless
     
  14. Goddess_Jaya

    Goddess_Jaya Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 24, 2002
    Great post Iella! I love how you're describing Jaina's emotional turmoil - and while I'm glad she went to talk to Luke I'm even happier that she seems to be sliding again. Dark Jaina is just so much fun to read! Awesome job with Luke: I could picture him as well as in any movie or official book.

    Sorry to hear school will be getting you down soon. I understand though, and I'll keep checking in for new posts and to up.
     
  15. JainaJag00

    JainaJag00 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 11, 2002
    great post!!
     
  16. Saber-of-Light

    Saber-of-Light Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    :D The dark side is too much fun to read about. I'm glad you're reading my story- how do you like it so far? I absolutely love yours! Don't worry- I'm completely ensnared in DRL's grasp, and his little brother Darth School. :p I know how it feels- take your time!
     
  17. JainaJag00

    JainaJag00 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 11, 2002
    early morning up!
     
  18. Jade_Fel_Horn

    Jade_Fel_Horn Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 21, 2002
    Great job, post more soon!
     
  19. Jade_Fel_Horn

    Jade_Fel_Horn Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 21, 2002
    Scheisse, double post, my bad!
     
  20. StormKnight

    StormKnight Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jun 26, 2001
    *~*~*~*

    LJS, tendra: Thanks :)

    Goddess_Jaya: I agree with your sentiments on dark Jaina. Dark Journey had so much potential... :(

    JainaJag00: Thanks, and thanks for the up :)

    SoL: I loved your last post, the banter between Jaina and Kyp, and then when Luke joined in... priceless! :p

    Jade_Fel_Horn: Glad to see you! :)


    To everyone: Here's a post before I go away for the long weekend... it's incredibly short, but pretty important in terms of setting up what happens next. [suspense]What will Jaina do now?[/suspense] :D

    *~*~*~*

    Jaina took off the outer jacket of her flight suit and tossed it to the floor. It clattered. Frowning, she picked it up again, searching the pockets. Ah. Of course. The message from Jag that Wedge had given to her earlier. She fished the datacard out holding it in her left hand. Her right hand hovered over the command to open the message.

    Part of her was desperate to know what he had wanted to say to her, but part of her knew it would only bring more pain and hurt.  But she was pained and hurting anyway, she told herself, so how much worse could it be?

    With a sigh, she hit the "Read File" button. Her eyes closed as the datacard took a few moments to call up Jag's words. When she opened her eyes again, she read:

    Lieutenant Solo:

    I regret that the circumstances of my departure will not be as agreeable as I had intended.


    She choked at the absurd accuracy of his statement. He would never know just how correct he had been. She continued reading:

    Nonetheless, my duty has not changed. I apologize for any misconceptions you may have had as to my purpose in speaking to you last night. No insult or offense was intended, and I am sorry to have given you the wrong impression.

    The reason I faced you last night was to inform you that my duty has called me back to the Unknown Regions. The inattention to duty that I mentioned was mine, not yours. I regretfully inform you that I must leave your squadron and return to my people. The decision is not mine, or I assure you, I would choose to remain.

    I do not know if I will be returning to the Resistance; much of the decision rests on my report to my father. But in case I do not ever return be assured of this: in no way do I find you lacking or inferior as a commanding officer. The very nature of your command is highly unusual, stressful, chaotic, and impossible, yet you handle it with admirable skill and finesse. I may have made some remarks that caused you to think otherwise - but though I occasionally disagreed with your command decisions, you have always had my highest respect and admiration. I hope you will not ever doubt it.  If I do ever return, it will be for the honor of serving under you and at your side.

    Flying under your command, I've come to realize that emotion and empathy can lead pilots, band them together and lead them against a common foe where coldness and calculation cannot. I have nothing but the highest level of admiration for your skills and talents, and I hope to have the honor someday of telling you so in person.

    Yours,

    Colonel Jagged Fel



    Impossible.

    She remembered her heated words, her fierce anger the night he had last spoken privately with her. She had hated him because of his contempt for her - and now, she found out that the contempt had never existed. Her anger had been without cause. She had hated him without cause. Her anger had distracted him, killed him without cause.

    Strangely, she no longer dwelled on her failure. Her pain did not come from her failure anymore, but from her loss. Not just a fellow pilot and squadron-mate, but something... more.

    He wasn't what I thought he was. Not warm and friendly, of course. No one, not even Jag himself, could have ever convinced her of that. But not entirely cold and arrogant, either. Human. The thought astonished her. Just as human as me, or Kyp, or Uncle Luke...even when he worked so hard not to show it.

    He had meant something to her. The man w
     
  21. JediWarriorYoda

    JediWarriorYoda Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2002
    That was just amazing. The last line was the clencher. "Jaina Solo cried for Jagged Fel."
    Wow. I have enjoyed reading your story. And I'm looking forward to more whenever it comes.
     
  22. JainaJag00

    JainaJag00 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 11, 2002
    great post... loved it... i that's sooo sad, of course jaina doesn't know that jag is alive.
     
  23. Lt_Jaina_Solo

    Lt_Jaina_Solo Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    May 27, 2002
    awesome post. i was crying when i read that :_| great job in writing it
     
  24. StormKnight

    StormKnight Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jun 26, 2001
    that's sooooo sad, of course that Jaina doens't know that Jag is alive...

    But... Jag isn't alive... Iella killed him off...
     
  25. Goddess_Jaya

    Goddess_Jaya Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 24, 2002
    Wonderful post Iella! Poor Jaina. That is why you never go to bed angry! The letter that Jag wrote was so prefectly in character that I had to remind myself that it wasn't out of one of the books. Simply perfect. :)

    Oh and SK,
    But... Jag isn't alive... Iella killed him off...

    Right. ;) :p
     
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