Destinies Entwined:Jaina's Journey/Nubian Son/Unmasked Soul (AU/PT/EU)COMPLETED! *4/22*Announcement!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by PadmeLeiaJaina, Aug 5, 2002.

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  1. PadmeLeiaJaina Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2002
    star 6
    Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with Lucasfilm Limited. I have used several scenes of dialogue written for the film the AOTC screenplay in writing this story. These scenes were used exclusively to help forward my story along. I am not profiting from this story in any way.

    Rated: PG-13

    Intro: This is my first story I've written for these boards. It's the first in a three part planned trilogy.

    To me the heart of Star Wars has always been the themes of self discovery and redemption. The mythology of the films pulls at my heart more than all the space battles and duels combined. I quit reading the EU many years ago as I felt it was moving too far from this original premise of the films. My father has spent the last several years heavily researching our families heritage in recreating our family tree. Inspired by his quest, and by the latest SW epic film AOTC, this story is my version of what would happen if the Skywalkers and Solos actively started hunting down their family roots.

    This story is set in an Alternative Universe completely outside of EU. Chewie and Anakin Solo are still alive, and the Galaxy appears to not be in turmoil. The Vong will never appear in this tale.

    Jaina is the central figure in this tale. She starts to receive vivid visions of her grandparents through the Force, leading her on a quest to find out more about them. Along the way, she discovers the woman within her mechanics body and meets the love of her life, a handsome podracer from a familiar planet, named Marxx Racees.

    Sit back, and enjoy the show! I have two more stories planned to follow this one. If the feedback is good- I will commence with writing the next segment.

    Please enjoy and all comments are welcome.

    If you read a few posts and are interested in reading the story without slogging through all of my pages- feel free to PM me your email address and I will glady email the chapters to you via Word file. or visit my website to read this trilogy w/o having to wade through a ton of posts Click here :)

    (Click here to access Part 2: Destinies Entwined: Family Skeletons-The Nubian Son)

    (Click here to access Part 3: Destinies Entwined: Roots of Evil: Unmasked Soul)

    Part I

    Destinies Entwined: Jaina's Journey

    Chapter 1

    Jaina threw off her boot and flung herself onto her bed. After two long grueling weeks of patrolling boarders in the Kathol sector, Jaina and her crew returned to the home base on Orion Four for ship maintenance and re-energizing. She pushed a hand through her longer than usual straight brown hair. Jaina lived to fly, and loved being the best of the X-Wing Rogue Squadron pilots, however she'd been feeling restless lately. Unable to place a finger on the core of her anxiety, her life seemed imbalanced. She'd seen plenty of action in the past year with her flying, and had garnished four accommodations and advancements in the ranks in Rogue Squadron. Professionally her life flourished. Personally, her life didn't exist.

    She got up. Full of pent up energy, Jaina changed into swimming gear and headed for the pool on level 4. Relieved to find the pool empty, she dove into the warm water and started to swim. She completed lap after lap, allowing her mind to clear, to become one with the Force. She rarely meditated into the Force any longer, chosing piloting over Jedi training. With each stroke images flashed in her mind, from her Jedi training days on Yavin, to recent battles, and dog fights.

    An unfamiliar image flared in her mind's eye captivating her attention. Green hills embraced a sparkling lake. Two young people swam towards a small island located in the center of the lake. Out they climbed from the water and collapsed laughing onto the soft sand. Jaina thought the girl to be a preteen and the boy probably a teenager.

    "See I told y
  2. PadmeLeiaJaina Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2002
    star 6
    Chapter 2

    She changed into bedclothes and Force flicked on her computer terminal. She searched the computer files for a complete map of the galaxy and plugged in the word Naboo. No records. Then she shifted to another search and looked up any information on the planet in the database. Zero records came up. Hopelessly she typed in Padme, and again came up with no results. She threw her hands up in frustration and shoved away from her terminal.

    Jaina paced her room; she looked at the time and decided to take a chance. She sent off a call to the Jedi Academy. Master Tionne's image answered her hail.

    "Jedi Jaina, so wonderful to hear from you! How are you?" The silver haired woman asked.

    "Actually I'm rather confused Jedi Master Tionne. Have you ever heard of a planet called Naboo?"

    "Naboo?" she scrunched her face up contemplating the name. "Not off of the top of my head, hold on a moment." Jaina saw her former Master wander out of the visual scanning range. Jaina tapped her fingers impatiently.

    "Jaina," a voice asked from beyond the image.

    "Yes?"

    "Do you have any idea of its location?"

    "No Tionne, I have no idea."

    "Hold on?" Jaina jumped back as Tionne popped back into the visual field. "Only thing we have is that it was the home planet of Senator Palpatine, prior to the Clone Wars. There appears to be no data though as to where it was located. That information appears to have been lost."

    "Hmm, is there anything else there about the planet itself?"

    "Politically it looks like they were a matriarchal democracy. The people elected Queens to rule the planet. Culturally Naboo was known throughout the Galaxy as being the epicenter of creative endeavors. They produced some of the finest art, sculpture, handcrafted furniture in the entire Galaxy."

    "But there's nothing recent about them?"

    "I'm afraid not Jaina. It almost appears that Naboo ceased to exist."

    "Right. OK Thanks Master Tionne."

    "Good night Mistress Jaina, don't be a stranger."

    "Thank you Master Tionne, I'll try not to." Jaina turned off her terminal and holo-emitter and headed for bed.

    Jaina lay undercover and began to breathe deeply, clearing her mind of her thoughts. She fell into a deep meditative Force sleep.

    In sleep she saw a stone room bathed in the warm glow of flickering firelight. Padme and the young Jedi sat together, closely on a couch. A volital fire raged behind the nervous couple.

    The Jedi started to say something, then stopped. Then he finally started speaking, "When I first met you, all those years ago, a day has not gone by that I haven't thought about you. And now that I'm with you again I'm in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. I can't breathe! I'm haunted by the kiss you should never have given me, my heart is beating, hoping it will not become a scar. You are in my very soul, tormenting me. What can I do? I will do anything you ask. If you are suffering as much as I am, please tell me."

    The whole while he talked Padme writhed on the couch in obvious discomfort, her eyes flickered to the young Jedi's full lips. Jaina sensed her emotional confusion. "I can't, we can't."

    "Anything's possible Padme, listen?" the Jedi said, his blue eyes smoldered in the firelight.

    Padme bolted off of the couch and stood in front of the roaring fire, "No YOU listen. We live in a real world, come back to it. You're studying to be a Jedi, and I'm a Senator. If you follow your thoughts through to conclusion they will take you to a place we cannot go...regardless of the way we feel about each other."

    "Then you do feel something!" the Jedi said, eyes filled with exasperated confusion.

    "I will not let you give up your future for me," Padme replied stoically.

    The Jedi got up and slowly, methodically approached Padme. Tilting his head slightly he said, "You are asking me to be rational. That is something I know I cannot do." He flung his arm passionately away from him, "Believe me, I wish I could wish my feelings away. But I can't."

    Tears threatened to cascade down Padme's fa
  3. Jedi_Liz Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 24, 2000
    star 6
  4. DarthBreezy Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2002
    star 6
    Curiouser and curiouser...
    Great start...
    You have MY ATN......
  5. IamZam Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 19, 2002
    star 4
    To borrow a line from Oliver Twist

    "More please."

    I like. When do I get the next chapter..

    IF you would like, you can post it on the Robinson's file section also. IF you need help just let me know.

    :D

  6. StarBlazer Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 2, 2001
    star 4
    What an interesting idea! I'm fascinated with the Skywalker/Solo line, so this is right up my ally. It's interesting that you should mention Palo, I'm currently writing a short flashback fic about Padmé and Palo. Great start, PLJ, I'll be sure to keep an eye on this.


    *SB*
  7. kasiaskywalker Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 1, 2002
    star 3
  8. PadmeLeiaJaina Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2002
    star 6
    Thanks for the words of encouragement all! Here's more....

    Chapter 3

    When Jaina awoke from her Force sleep she glanced at her navicom. Her ship now circled an angry red planet called Geonosis. In her mind's eye a wild array of images, imprinted from the past, sprang to life. Anakin and Padme kissed and declared their love while being lead towards certain death. Padme's words whispered through the waves of the Force "I truly, deeply, love you, and before we die, I wanted you to know." The 2 lovers and an older Jedi fought to free themselves from terrifying creatures in an arena. Jedis by the hundreds appearing to save them, and then army of droids closed in on them. Huge battles sprung into her mind. And she saw flashes of lightsaber battles. In one of the duels Anakin lost an arm. She buried her fingers to her temples. The images flared painfully through her mind. Gasping she disconnected herself from the Force and the images receeded.

    She decided not to land on the planet. She again punched in some co-ordinates and sent her X-Wing into hyperspace. When she fell out of it a short time later, she found herself orbiting a barren sandy planet of Tatooine.

    "Home again, home again," She said, not really certain why the nursery rhyme appeared in her mind. She blasted over the planet and instinct led her to land in Mos Espa. Upon landing in a rental hanger, she switched on her holo-emitter and searched for her Uncle Luke. She knew she was over her head here and would need his assistance.

    A holo-image of her groggy Uncle appeared before her in her cockpit. Yawning he asked, "Jaina?"

    "Good morning Uncle Luke, sorry to have bothered you," Jaina said.

    Luke looked down at his holo-emitter controls with a frown on his face, "Jaina, what's wrong? Why in the blazes are you on Tatooine?"

    "I'm not really sure. I've had the strangest visions from the Force lately and they seemed to have lead me here," Jaina explained.

    "To Tatooine?"

    "Yes."

    Luke sighed. "What images are you seeing that lead you there?"

    "They are images of, of my grandparents, your parents."

    Any traces of sleep left Luke's face immediately, "What? What do you mean?" Jaina quickly recounted to him the images she saw, the conversations between them, and the conversation between young Padme and her friend Paulo. Luke stared on rapt with interest.

    "And you're certain that this Padme is my mother?"

    "Yes. She sounds exactly like Mom. And she was head over heels in love with Anakin," Jaina said with certainty.

    Luke scratched his head and said, "That's fascinating Jaina. As you probably know, I have no memory of my mother, and Leia has very few memories of her. She died when we were both very young. We don't even have a holo image of her."

    "She's beautiful, very poised, and looks a lot like Mom."

    Luke smiled, "And probably like you as well."

    Jaina started back, she never particularly thought of herself that way. "Possibly."

    "What do you need from me Jaina?"

    She asked, "Could you see if you can find out anything about this planet Naboo? And anything on a Senator Padme from that planet? I don't have her last name, unfortunately. I think if you find something, you'll find a wealth of information about your mother."

    "That seems reasonable. What else?" Luke asked.

    Jaina hesitated, "You wouldn't be interested in coming to Tatooine would you? I don't know my way around here, I'd like very much to see the old homestead, something tells me I might get better readings from there."

    Luke replied, "You know, I don't think my father ever actually visited the Lars homestead. Atleast I never picked anything up from there. However, it appears the Force seems to be leading you there for a reason." Luke looked over his shoulder, "Tell you what, Mara and I have some business to finish up here, then I'll go to the main library archives here at Coruscant to see if I can get any information on Senator Padme. We'll be there tomorrow morning. Where are you?"

    "I landed in a town called Mos Espa."

    Worry etched Luke's fa
  9. IamZam Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 19, 2002
    star 4
  10. StarBlazer Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 2, 2001
    star 4
    Yeah, I'd bet Watto would have a lot to say about Anakin. ;) Great post!


    *SB*
  11. PadmeLeiaJaina Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2002
    star 6
    Thanks for the words of encouragement...more coming...
  12. RebelMom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 20, 2000
    star 6
    I like this. It's fun seeing them learn about their family tree.
  13. PadmeLeiaJaina Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2002
    star 6
    Chapter 4

    Marxx and Jaina wandered through a maze of streets in Mos Espa. Marxx intently asked her about her many missions with the Rouge Squadron. Jaina felt herself gladly opening up to her new companion. She didn't quite know what to think of the different emotions that seemed to surge through her. Why was she laughing at every silly joke of his? Why the sudden urge to impress this young man? Why did she keep stroking and playing with her hair?

    Suddenly they showed up in front of a doorway. Jaina stopped and stared at the outside of the hut, an image from the Force flashed before her eyes. She saw a blue flying creature talking to Anakin and a hooded Padme.

    "Mi boska di Shmi Skywalker," Anakin said in Huttese.

    "Ani, little Ani? Nahh," the blue creature said. Anakin put something down that whirred to life.

    "You are Ani! Sheesh you certainly have sprouted, eh?" The creature flew up eye level with Anakin.

    "Hello Watto."

    "A Jedi! Waddya know? Hey maybe you couldda help wit some deadbeats who owe me a lot of money-"

    "My mother."

    "Oh yeah, Shmi. She's not mine no more. I sold her."

    "Sold her?" Anakin said.

    "Years ago, sorry Ani, but you know business is business. Sold her to a moisture farmer named Lars. Least I think it was Lars. Believe it or not, I heard he freed her and married her. Can ya beat that?"

    Anakin leaned in threateningly towards Watto, "Do you know where they are?"

    "Long way from here. Someplace over on the other side of Mos Eisley, I think."

    "I'd like to know."

    "Sure, absolutely, come wit me!"


    Jaina snapped back to the present. She shook her head, Anakin stood practically right next to her in her vision. For once she got a mental image of how tall he had been, and imposing. Her confusion magnified as she realized Anakin seemed more menacing, than her last image of him.

    "Marxx, my great grandmother was a slave?"

    "What? I don't know about that, but I know your Grandfather was one. Watto owned him until a Jedi came along and won Anakin's freedom after his pod race victory. As a result, Watto doesn't trust human pod racers, he lost a lot of money on that race," Marxx leaned in conspiringly towards her, "Idiot bet against Anakin. I'm his best mechanic, and he still won't loan me the credits for the pod race because of his own past bad judgment."

    Not quite knowing why, Jaina reached out and touched Marxx's arm. She closed her eyes, and could almost see an energy glow around him. "He is an idiot then. Because you are strong with the Force."

    When she opened her eyes and looked up at Marxx, he stared down at her in disbelief. "How did you know that? I've often wondered, but out here in the outer rim, we don't get many Jedis who'd be able to recognize my abilities. I want to win this race so I can afford to buy myself a ship and head to Yavin and see if they would be willing to train me. To see if I had what it takes," he then slapped his forehead, "Oh my stars, I'm so stupid. You're a Jedi. I forgot about that." His face glowed with renewed appreciation.

    Jaina burst out laughing. "Relax, its not like I'm some heavenly creature or something. I've just been trained to use the Force effectively. I actually don't really practice being a Jedi much. I've kind of shied away from my responsibilities I guess."

    Marxx looked at the young woman in front of him. Her rich brown honest eyes drew him in. He slightly bit his lip and reached up a hand and brushed away an errant hair from her face. "You've spent your whole life living the life I've only dreamed of."

    Jaina felt her stomach drop and flip and a slight blush rise to her face. "What in the Force is wrong with me?" she thought. "It's not as glamorous as it seems. I've spent a lifetime battling unknown forces and enemies. I have a feeling that by now accepting my path as a Jedi, my life is only going to become more complicated."

    Marxx felt outside himself and heard himself say, "Complicated in a good way?"

    "I don't know," Jaina said, she realized Marxx was slowly leaning in towards her, and s
  14. Jedi_Jaina_Durron Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 1, 2001
    star 5
    I like this! This is really interesting!

    Is it too soon to ask for more?
  15. IamZam Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 19, 2002
    star 4
  16. PadmeLeiaJaina Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2002
    star 6
    Is everyone caught up?

    Here's the last chapter for the evening. More to come tomorrow, tell a friend! ;) :D

  17. PadmeLeiaJaina Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2002
    star 6
    Chapter 5

    They arrived at the back of Marxx?s home and immediately flipped open the hoods on the racer for inspection. Jaina threw off her poncho and unzipped her coveralls, stripping down to her tank shell so she could more readily move around to look over the engine. She tied her hair back and started feeling the ship over and over with her hands. She felt and saw several places inside where the mechanics needed some fine tuning. She offered expert advice to a very surprised and delighted Marxx.

    Marxx settled into the inspection with glee. He found himself more and more intrigued by this young woman. Usually he had his pick of any female on the planet. He knew he was attractive and most girls willingly threw themselves at him regularly. Sometimes he would catch one, but never did one of them actually enjoy fiddling with converters and knew the difference between a fan belt and an engine belt. He watched Jaina?s lean body with admiration as she gracefully moved around his racer. He felt something going on inside him that he just couldn?t explain. The desire to protect and get to know this young woman better grew stronger by the moment. She wasn?t some simple woman wrapped up in shallow looks, she exuded intelligence and wisdom. And she understood ships.

    Jaina stood up and placed her hands on her hips. A large grease mark smudged her face from nose to cheek. Marxx thought it made her even more beautiful.

    ?I feel pretty safe on loaning you the credits. I don?t think this rig will fall apart on you,? Jaina said with a smile. ?I do think I might need a demonstration prior to the race. But I can wait until after you have paid your admissions. You ready??

    Marxx walked around the pod to her, pulled out a clean rag and cleaned the grease smudge off her face. Jaina?s face blossomed bright red. ?Don?t worry, engine grease looks good on you. You want to wash up before we head out??

    On her way down a long hall she stopped dead in her tracks. She happened to glance into the living room and something caught her eye. Captivated, she walked towards the most amazing mural she?d ever seen. The artwork itself would have been brilliant enough, except that wasn?t why she noticed it. She stared in disbelief at the scene in the painting. The mural depicted the balcony on Naboo where she saw Padme and Anakin kiss in her vision. However the only person there was a quite noticeably younger version of Padme.

    Marxx came inside rolling up his sleeve when he saw Jaina leaning against the wall looking at the mural in the living room. He noticed Jaina stood in the exact same pose as the young woman in the painting. Practically his whole life, Marxx viewed that woman in the painting to be his dream woman. She always seemed just perfect, wistful and beautiful. Suddenly she paled in comparison to the woman standing in front of him. Marxx felt the overpowering urge to walk up to Jaina and wrap her up in his arms. Instead he just walked up right behind her, not daring to step over an unseen line of etiquette. Jaina felt his presence rather than heard him, so she did not jump when he started to speak.

    ?Do you like the painting??

    ?Yes, who did it??

    ?My grandfather. That?s a scene he painted from his home planet before it was destroyed.?

    ?Your grandfather? The planet was destroyed?? Jaina said whirling around.

    ?Yes, during the Clone Wars I believe. You can ask him all about it later at supper,? Marxx?s face flushed, ?Well that was presumptuous of me wasn?t it??

    Jaina smiled, ?I?d love to have dinner with you and your family.?

    ?You need a place to stay also, right?? Marxx asked, he added quickly. ?We have a spare room, of course it?s yours.?

    Jaina smiled at him, ?Thank you. Sorry, I still haven?t used the facilities.?

    Marxx moved aside and she headed towards the refresher. As she glanced back at the tall man, she now knew why he looked so alarmingly familiar, and why she felt so comfortable with him. She shot him a radiant smile and closed the door behind her.
  18. qingauk Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 12, 2002
    star 4
    I am enjoying this!!
  19. PadmeLeiaJaina Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2002
    star 6
  20. StarBlazer Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 2, 2001
    star 4
    Now I'm all caught up. :D I wonder why he's so familiar. The painting is interesting as well. [face_shocked] Wait, I just had an "ah ha!" moment! Is his grandfather Palo?


    *SB*
  21. Jedi_Jaina_Durron Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 1, 2001
    star 5
    YEAH! I bet STarBlazer's right! It is Paulo's grandson!
  22. PadmeLeiaJaina Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2002
    star 6
    Humm ladies, you'll just have to wait until tomorrow ;)
  23. PadmeLeiaJaina Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2002
    star 6
    Chapter 6

    Jaina and Marxx arrived later in the day at her X-Wing after submitting the entry fees for Marxx to enter the race. Jaina and Marxx both climbed up on the ship. Marxx jumped into the cockpit and Jaina popped the engine covering to fix her holo-emitter.

    "I can't believe I'm actually sitting in a Rouge Squadron X-Wing!" he looked around and had to smile, the cockpit smelled like Jaina's shampoo. He would definitely feel comfortable flying in here.

    Jaina groaned and she pulled out the blackened responder. "Well it's amazing this thing even worked this morning." She tossed it down and started to manipulate the new one into place. R4 below picked up the defective part and threw it into a recycling container. "Thanks R4." Jaina yelled below. He whistled merrily back at her. She pushed the part in place and moved around to look into the cockpit. "Hey can you test the holo-emitter and see if you get a signal?"

    "Sure," Marxx reached up and pressed a button. Suddenly an image popped up on Jaina's dashboard. A very confused Han Solo looked at Marxx. "Who in the Force are you and what have you done with my daughter?"

    Marxx stammered, "Ah she's..."

    Jaina swung her head into the emitter range, "I'm right here Dad. This is Marxx Racees, he's a new friend of mine."

    Marxx smiled nervously and waved at Han. "It's an honor to meet you sir, I've read all about you and your exploits over the years." Han shifted uncomfortably.

    "What's up Dad?"

    "We just got this disturbing message from Wedge that you up and quit Rouge Squadron last night. Just wanted to make sure everything was ok with you." Han looked at her concerned.

    Jaina flashed him a big smile. "I'm fine Dad. Is Mom there?" Marxx reached out, grabbed her arm and whispered, "Chancellor Leia Organa-Solo?"

    Jaina smiled at him, "Yes."

    Han's image in the holo-emitter suddenly turned very angry. "Don't lay a hand on her!"

    "DAD! It's fine. He's my friend."

    "Yeah, well I know that look you just gave her pal, keep your distance. No fresh stuff!"

    Marxx turned pale, "No sir, I wouldn't do anything to hurt your daughter."

    "Dad stop torturing Marxx and please get Mom!" Just to make her Dad squirm more, Jaina made Marxx move over and she dropped down and joined him in the cockpit.

    "Leia, get in here, your daughter wants to talk to you." Han looked at her, "You ah, need us there with you sweetheart?"

    "I'm in good hands Dad, really," Jaina said, placing a hand over Marxx's. "Besides Uncle Luke will be here tomorrow."

    "Luke, great." Han muttered. Leia moved over into the picture.

    "Hi sweetie everything alright? I talked to Luke he told me what was going on there, have your found out anything new?" Han looked visibly disturbed that he was kept out of some information loop.

    Jaina recounted her new findings and her meeting with Watto. Leia looked on and frowned. "I don't remember much of my mother, nor do I know anything of my father, besides what he became. Although he did contact me once through the Force, tried to make amends. I only slightly remember mother, just fleeting images. You actually remind me a lot of her."

    "Well I don't see that, but who knows," Jaina said.

    "If she was beautiful, then you certainly look like her," Marxx mumbled. Leia craned her head to look at who was speaking. Jaina introduced them, and explained why they were both in the cockpit. "Can you tell Uncle Luke to find me tomorrow at the Corsdune Canyon racecourse" I'll still leave a message here for him in case you miss him."

    "Sure Jaina. Anything else?"

    "No, I'll talk to you later. I love you both."

    "It was an honor meeting you both," Marxx said with a wave and a smile.

    Leia smiled back, "May the Force be with you."

    "May the Force be with you too. Bye Dad."

    Han still looked unconvinced that there wasn't something funny going on, "I love you too sweetheart. Bye."

    Jaina turned off the emitter and turned her head to look at Marxx. "Sorry about that. Talk about timing huh?"

    Marxx grinned, "I thought your father was going to reach t
  24. Hann315 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 3
    This story is REALLY GOOD!!!! I can't wait 4 more!! :)

    ~Luv Hann
  25. jedi-ES Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 7, 2002
    star 4
    PLJ,

    I am glad to see that your energy in writing this was well spent.

    You seem to write exactly what I want to read and to me, that says something.

    Unfortunately, you should have finished the story and then gotten it published instead of posting it here. I would have gladly paid to read this. (In case you didn't notice, that was an attempt to say that the quality of your writing is on par with anything in the EU now.)

    Continue forward, great plotline, wonderful intersection of themes and sources, and waiting for the next installment.
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