FF:NZ Developers Society

i'm stressed to f due to my 2nd last exams ever so in order to distract myself i have taken to inventing useful products for those in similiar situations, please feel free to add your own

here is number one

the stresspreventer

materials: shopping trolley, cat litter box, butter knife, water dish, small electic motor, electronic pulse reader, bandages,kitten, icepack, rope, warm blanket, tape, butter

concept: stress is all in the mind, and often has little basis in reality, however it is a serious problem and it can seriously effect your health.....
the machine works on the theory that stress can be negated by the fear of greater stress

machine: the bulk of the machine is the shopping trolley, with a small electric motor attached to it, to add mobility and control, there is a rope atached to the trolley link the trolley and the person together. Inside the trolley is a fixed non spill water dish, a fixed cat litter tray and a small gate with which to remove or add kitten. The next part is the pulse meter, it is attached to your hand via a clamp, with the cord taped to the rope that tows the trolley, there is an alarm attached to the trolley. THe kitten is the last part of the machine, it is inserted into the trolley where it is in effect "caged", in comfort of course with facilities for refreshment and disposal and a blanket for comfort, feel free to add toy (s).

how it works: when stressed your heartrate rises, according to preset limits within the heartrate moniter, when it reaches a preset limit an alarm will sound, indicating that you are "stressed" at which point phase 2 kicks in. the kitten is removed from the trolley, its paws buttered with butter and butter knife and placed on the ground, to stop it from moving

you then must kick the kitten

the success of the machine relies upon your ability to kick the kitten, the premise being that you will be unable to kick the kitten and will therefore out of fear and loathing not enter a stressed out state.............

I will present some sketches at a later date

 

Invention: Tea towel retrieval system
Purpose: Have you ever been drying the dishes and you drop the tea towel?With this device you can save alot of back pain.
Equipment:1 roll of sellotape, 1 large cup hook, 1 moderately healthy cat.
Instructions: Get the hook, tape and cat.Attach hook to cat's tail with tape.(I found the cat doesn't enjoy the cup hook inserted with screw end, so just tape it)
Now your tea towel retriever is ready.Just use the hook on your tea towel rack to hang cat.When you drop your tea towel, grab cat's tail and place cat over tea towel, now pull quite rapidly towards yourself.Ta,da tea towel is now retrieved!
The only drawbacks I have found is the noise the cat makes and having to feed an appliance.
Patent Pending.

 

OOOOO scary cat hating place...
note to self....be vewwy careful

 

I don't hate cats,they are one of the most useful tools God gave us!

 

Here's my invention.
It's called 'revenge of the cats'

All you need is a can of sandwich tuna, and a can opener.

The sound of opening the can of tuna will attract every cat in a fifty mile radius.

Now smear the tuna over yourself.

You are then slowly mauled to death by 50+ cats.

Now sit back and enjoy the most stressfree state of all.

 

its great that nature provides us with useful animals

note to self: feed cat

 

Feed cat....to dog

 

i am tempted to purchase a dog cart, as of late the dog has been getting rather arrogant, i think she could do with some cart horse duty

 

That's why dogs are better than cats. At least you can train a dog. But a cat, you'll only see it when it wants something.

 

not if its well trained, try taking a new kitten for long walks everyday, it will soon be the dog you never had

 

This is what my cat has typed on the topic.

,jkm bhbvgcv vcv bbbm,

(My cat really did that.)

 

Its just unfortunate that you broke both its paws to do it! lol

 

No but it dosent sit in the printer any more.