Saga Devoured By Envy - Quinlan Vos/Obi-Wan/Anakin - Dare challenge Entry

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by obi_ew, Sep 5, 2005.

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  1. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    Title: Devoured By Envy

    Author: obi_ew

    Characters: Quinlan Vos, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker

    Summary: Quinlan Vos experiences up close the decay of the Kenobi/Skywalker dynamic.

    Thanks: To Jedikma for the beta job. :)

    Challenge: Lovely in Orange challenged me to the following:

    Write a vig with Quinlan Vos as the good guy.
    Must include:
    Someone fondly remembering Qui-Gon
    Rain
    A clown



    Our envy of others devours us most of all. Alexander Solzhenitsyn



    Devoured By Envy


    Gray skies once again greeted the clone soldiers as they awakened for yet another day filled with death and violence. There was a decided chill in the air on this particular day, perhaps a harbinger of things to come. Crouched around fire pits, they ate the food rations in eerie silence before gathering their gear and moving off to relieve their brothers.

    A lone figure exited one of the larger tents, drawing respectful salutes from the soldiers nearby as he took a moment to study his surroundings. Tall and muscular, the Jedi General was dressed from head-to-toe in black leather, his mane of ebony hair tied into numerous braids. Dark skinned, the distinctive yellow tattoos of the clan Vos set him apart as they marked the bridge of his nose and wrapped around both biceps.

    Jedi Master Quinlan Vos released a weary sigh as the gray skies split open and a hard rain began to pelt his bare head. He was beyond tired of the inhospitable climate that Boz Pity had offered them since their arrival weeks ago. It was almost as if nature conspired against his forces, working in league with the Separatists to send the Grand Army of the Republic fleeing back to the comforts Coruscant had to offer. He was hard pressed to decide whether his current mission was in any way an improvement over the time he?d spent in recent years working undercover as a Dark Jedi. At least the charade he?d pulled off while serving Count Dooku had resulted in some positive results. This war the Jedi fought seemed hopeless at the best of times.

    "You?re brooding again, Quin."

    The corners of his lips twitched at the admonishment; a feeling he was so unaccustomed to welling up inside, he didn?t recognize it at first. Turning to watch his two fellow Jedi approach, it took looking into a familiar pair of multi-hued eyes before he was able to label the sentiment. Peace. Just being in the calming presence of his childhood friend was enough to still his nerves.

    "The two of you look as tired as I feel." His remark drew a weary smile from Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and a scowl from his companion, Anakin Skywalker.

    "As much as I?ve enjoyed the pleasure of your company once again, I look forward to returning to Coruscant. No matter how short lived our stay is," Obi-Wan mused, drawing the hood of his robe up to protect his head from the now pelting rain.

    Quinlan?s gaze locked with the shorter man, understanding passing between them as they allowed the strong bonds of friendship say what they were unable to speak out loud. They had been through some difficult times in recent years, Quinlan unable to reassure his friend that he hadn?t turned to the Darkside. It had been Obi-Wan?s unfailing loyalty and belief in him that had given Quinlan the strength to carry out his mission to its conclusion.

    "Excuse me Generals," a clone commander saluted the three men. "The locals are becoming restless once again and demand to speak to someone in a position of authority."

    The Jedi exchanged sideways glances, none willing to be the one to volunteer. They could hear the small group of locals even above the din of heavy war equipment and booming ship engines. The small nearby town was one inhabited by an eclectic group of artists and actors who had been very forthcoming and vocal in their opinions on the war and the Jedi who lead the Republic forces. As the Jedi studied the group currently gathered nearby, the garishly bright colors of the leader?s cost
  2. tangled_sphere Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 28, 2003
    star 4
    Beautifully written o_e I got so excited when I saw Quinlan attached to your name ;)

    Chilling the things that Quinlan can sense in Anakin, the teetering on the abyss and the envy.

    I love the line ...when we die, we can only hope to be half the man he is...

    And I can just see the look he got as he walked away.

    =D=

  3. LuvEwan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Oh my. :eek: That was just awesome, o_e. I loved Quin (and his attire =P~). His friendship with Obi-Wan, and his protectiveness towards him, was so sweet and realistic. Anakin is very complicated in this, for while he is jealous of Obi-Wan, he also believes Obi-Wan is jealous of him, and he is very jealous that someone else could have won his Master's devotion. It comes across quite clear that Anakin wants to be the focal point of Obi-Wan's life, despite his bitterness and envy.

    Amazing. =D=
  4. dianethx Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Well done, OE. I liked that Vos was so adamant in his defense of Obi-Wan, even to the point of making Anakin his enemy. I liked that you incorporated Anakin's jealousy about Obi being on the Council with Vos's recognition of the emotion. Also liked that Anakin almost spilled the beans on his relationship with Padme.
    The rain was a great metaphor for what was going on and would continue to deteriorate over the course of the War.

    Bravo.
  5. Jedikma Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 4
    If my beta job doesn't measure up, I blame it on the black leather. :p I read the description of Vos in the second paragraph and was like this: [face_hypnotized] I had to totally refocus to do this job. [face_mischief]

    But seriously, I really enjoyed this viggie. I loved seeing Obi-Wan through Vos's eyes. I thought you did a great job of portraying Anakin's envy towards Obi-Wan, too, and I liked what Vos said to Anakin about his envy. Well done!!!

    :)

  6. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Ohhhhh o_e that was sweeeeeeeeeeet!! [face_love] Quin too! :D :D

    I can believe that he would sense Anakin's underlying darkness. Since he, himself has touched and used the darkside before.

    Great work! Loved how he admonished Anakin there, stating that either one of them combined could never be half the person Obi is! ;)
  7. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    I really tried hard to pick my favorite passage but in the end I would have just been highlighting the whole damned thing! WOW! I don't know what else to say! You really captured Obi-Wan's serenity, Vos' dymanic personality, and Anakin's faltering at the edge of darkness. More, more, more! I demand more Vos! Please? [face_praying]
  8. bek Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2005
    star 4
    Wow, that was intense! :D

    I liked how Quin put Anakin in his place and that his belief and knowledge of Obi-Wan didn't waver under Anakin's barge of unfounded accusations.

    Simply put, loved it! :) I think you should write more with these three involved with Quin being light side. [face_praying] ;)
  9. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    Really, really wonderful. I loved the dynamics between the three. It was cool to see Quinlan so vehemently defensive of his old friend. And Anakin - wow. If only he could have taken these words to heart! :_|

    It's all such a tragedy of mistrust and misplaced love.
  10. DarthMousche Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 16, 2005
    star 3
    This is wonderful. Quin's talking up Obi-Wan was powerful, even more so because you know Obi-Wan would defend him as strongly. Of course, he would also do the same for Anakin, and that highlights the tragedy.
  11. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    tangled_sphere I?d get excited to see Quinlan attached? oh never mind! [face_blush] I pictured that glowering bad Anakin stare as I wrote this.

    LE I?ve always been intrigued by Anakin?s feelings for Obi-Wan since ATOC came out. It?s obvious he truly adores Obi, and yet there is that underlying envy. [face_shame_on_you] As for the friendship between Quin and Obi, the Republic comics did a wonderful job of showing what good friends the two were.

    Diane The rain was actually the first thing that gave me the idea for this vig. It reminded me of the Clone Wars cartoons and how it seemed to rain a lot in them. :D

    KMA Thanks again for the beta job. [:D] I do so love Quinlan?s black leather Jedi attire. Much cooler than Anakin's even. Except for the Sacred Glove of course. [face_batting]

    Kyn I knew you?d appreciate this challenge Lovely In Orange presented me with as much as I did. ;) Quinlan I think would have seen the struggle Anakin was having with the Darkside, having become so intimate with it himself.

    VL Awwww! [face_blush] Thanks for the high praise. And I loved writing a nice Vos!

    Bek I drew heavily from the Republic comic I read that delved a bit into Obi and Quin?s childhood relationship. Obi was unwavering in his belief of Quinlan and I figured it would go both ways. [face_love]

    May I agree. I just wish I could smack Anakin up side his head sometimes. :mad:

    DarthMousche Too bad the same couldn?t be said of Anakin toward the end. Bad Ani! [face_shame_on_you]
  12. Lovely-in-Orange Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 21, 2005
    star 3
    I really loved this. I like how you contrast Anakin's idealist view of Qui-Gon with his failure to appreciate Obi-Wan's friendship. And that Quin knows from his own experiences that Anakin could have Obi-Wan's support and loyalty if he would only open up. Great description of the rain and Quin's appearance too. [face_love]
  13. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    That was a great portrayl of Quinlan amd his relationship with Obi=Wan. And an even better look into Anakin's thoughts!
  14. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    Beautiful work, o_e. Loved the way you've presented Quinlan - and Anakin left me stunned. He's a complex person in this, isnt he? Trying to throw off all his insecurities on Obi-Wan; the dynamics of his 'I-love-him-but-I-hate-him' is so well presented. I wonder if Anakin will ever believe that Obi-Wan is incapable of jealousy.

    Bravo! =D=
  15. Master_Noi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2004
    star 4
    I liked that Vos could see so much in Anakin and his defense of Obi-Wan.

    And of course, the description of Vos (especially the thought of wet leather) was yummy.
  16. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Wow that was brillian OE! You had me breathless when Vos rebuked Anakin -- truly wonderful!
  17. TKeira_Lea Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 10, 2002
    star 5
    Turning to watch his two fellow Jedi approach, it took looking into a familiar pair of multi-hued eyes before he was able to label the sentiment. Peace. Just being in the calming presence of his childhood friend was enough to still his nerves.

    I loved this part.

    The Jedi exchanged sideways glances, none willing to be the one to volunteer. They could hear the small group of locals even above the din of heavy war equipment and booming ship engines. The small nearby town was one inhabited by an eclectic group of artists and actors who had been very forthcoming and vocal in their opinions on the war and the Jedi who lead the Republic forces. As the Jedi studied the group currently gathered nearby, the garishly bright colors of the leader?s costume had them wincing in unison. Even now the steady downpour was causing the being?s face paint to run, revealing the blue skin below it as the rivulets stained the front of his clown clothes.

    Clever way to work in the clown. I guess the stereotypical image of vocal artistes in times of war crosses even into the GFFA ;)

    Obi-Wan?s sigh was audible as he started forward. "Come along, Commander. It appears as if I am to be the one sacrificed this time."

    [face_laugh] Poor Obi, but so perfectly him.

    "Obi-Wan wouldn?t understand," Anakin was saying with open derision. "He?s too perfect to ever falter or doubt the path he?s chosen. Too insulated emotionally to ever allow himself to fall in..."

    Ah! Great way to capture a part of Anakin we could only surmise. Why didn?t he confide in Obi?

    The thought sent a surprising chill down his spine.

    Sequel! Sequel! Quinlan Vos and Vader meeting during the Jedi Purges! =D= [face_dancing]
  18. LuvEwan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Sequel! Sequel! Quinlan Vos and Vader meeting during the Jedi Purges!

    Yeah, yeah, what TKL said! :D
  19. Jennifer_Lyn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2005
    star 4
    Sequel? Did someone say sequel?
    I'm there! Great job! Loved it!
  20. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    LIO Thanks for the wonderful dare! I enjoyed this immensely, especially how to work the clown in. :D

    PK Thanks dear. :) Canon Anakin is always a challenge to write.

    PA Complex is a good word to describe Anakin. I think that?s why he is such a popular and well loved character. He?s human like the rest of us regardless of his powers. [face_love]

    Noi Vos?s black leather attire is yummy isn?t it? [face_batting]

    Layren Hi! Thanks so much. :) Vos is the type to speak his mind even if it does bring him trouble.

    TKL Sequel? No! :eek: Glad you enjoyed this. I?ve always been tempted to try my hand at a Vos vig or fic and LIO gave me the prefect excuse. The thought of a rematch does intrigue me. [face_thinking]

    LE Hush! [face_shhh] Don?t encourage her crazed ideas.

    Jennifer_Lyn Thanks! :D

  21. TKeira_Lea Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 10, 2002
    star 5
    Hush! Don?t encourage her crazed ideas.

    Hey now! [face_not_talking] I am not crazy!

    Insane maybe.

    But not crazy. [face_hypnotized]
















    You're doomed to write it now :p [face_mischief] [face_laugh]
  22. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Whoa! =D= That was wonderful. Loved the way Quinlan jumped in defense of Obi-Wan and he wouldn't be wrong on making an enemy.

    Superb viggie.

  23. Phoenix_Reborn Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2003
    star 4
  24. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    TKL I'm not listening to you! lalalalalalaaaa! :p


    Leona- I just loved the friendship between Vos and Obi in the comics. [face_love] It was beyond fun to play with it.

    Birdy- Well I may tackle this pairing down the road but it won't be based on this vig. ;)
  25. JadeSolo Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2002
    star 6
    "There are few people in the galaxy I would trust to understand this secret I carry, even amongst the Jedi. Obi-Wan is one of those few. You?d be a fool to discount the strength of his friendship."

    Too bad Anakin didn't take that advice. :( But the bitterness in his voice, oh my. Evil yet strangely sexy. :* It seemed like at the very end, Anakin was already plotting Quinlan's demise.

    And bravo on including the clown. [face_laugh]
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