ST Dialogue That May Be in TLJ

Hey all, itt, we post dialogue scenarios that could be in TLJ and beyond. It can be serious (though I'll hate/block you) and it can be funny.

If the dialogue that you submit is actually in the movie...I'll...um...give you...a beer? A soda? I dunno. Anyway, here's my example of a dialogue scenario:

*Two FO troopers are hunting Finn and Rose*

FO Trooper 1: You that way! I'll go home!

Pretty easy, right? Give me your situations please and thank you.

 

Luke: "You know, Rey, we really are the Last Jedi."

 

Luke: Rey, our real enemy is Darth Episode. He's a cannibal and a galactic war monger.

Rey: So what you're saying is that...

Luke: Yes Rey...

Rey: No!

Luke: The reason there is a Star Wars...Episode VIII The Last Jedi!

 

Rey: "Who are my parents? Please, I must know."
Luke: "A good question... for another time." [every member of this forum instantly explodes]

 

Finn: Woo!

 

Luke: Rey, your parents are actually-

(Is a Terrance and Phillip episode the rest of the time)

 

(Unknown hooded character): Meesa back!

 

R2: Bleep, blorp, bloop!

Luke: R2!

 

I've got a bad feeling about this.

D'oh just beaten to the punch

 

"Mother I feel the pull to the light, help me!" - Kylo Ren

"You were the future, I am sorry I failed you" - Luke Skywalker

 

Leia: You are my son. I love you.

 

Luke: It's time for the Jedi to end.

Chiznuk, you owe me millions of beers.

 

Luke: [cheerfully] Patience! For the Jedi it is time to eat as well. Eat. [Laughs] eat Porg. Hot. Good food, hmm? Good, hmm?
Rey: How far away is the jedi temple? Will it take us long to get there?
Luke: Not far. Temple not far. Patience. Soon you will be there. Porg stew, I cook.

 

Snoke (singing): I'm So lonely
So lonely
So lonely and sadly alone

There's no one
Just me only
Sitting on my little throne
I work really hard and make up great plans
But nobody listens, no one understands
Seems like no one takes me serirously

And so I'm lonely
A little lonely
Poor little me

There's nobody
I can rerate to
Feel like a bird in a cage
It's kinda silly
But not really
Because it's firing my body with rage

I'm the smartest most clever most physically fit
But nobody else seems to realize it
When I change the galaxy maybe they'll notice me
But until then I'll just be lonely
Little lonely, poor little me

I'm so lonely

 

LUKE: I don't like sand...

REY: Gosh, really?

LUKE: ...it's coarse, rough...

REY: 'Cause I just absolutely ****ing LOVE m*********ing sand!

LUKE: ...not like you...

RAY: I just can't get enough of the stuff! Oh, how I simply adore that wonderful, pleasant, gift from ****ing God we call 'sand.' Boy, if there's one thing I miss about living on that sandy, dessicated, tan-beige, sand-covered ball of sand, it's sand. S-A-N-D saaaaannnnd. You know what this galaxy needs more of? Sand. Planets with sand. Planets with nothing but sand. You serve me the fanciest, tastiest, most scrum-diddly-umptious meal you can find in the galaxy, I'll turn it away if it doesn't interrupt my enjoyment with a cringe-inspiring reminder of my dismal past of neverending struggle and pain and discomfort as I chomp down on a surprise grain of sand. Mmmm! I just can't convey to you my passionate, life-long love affair with it. I want to be smothered, neck-deep in a pit of the sandiest of sands. I want it to find its way into every orifice. I want to be one with it. Yeah, sand. Glorious, divine, soul-crushing sand.

LUKE: ...

REY: No one likes sand, a******.

 

I'd be surprised if the phrase, "Wake up Megalon!", appears in TLJ. So that would be my pick.

 

Luke: May the force be with you
Rey: And also with you.


Runs away.........

 

*Hux and Kylo Ren show Snoke the model of the new space station*

Snoke: What is this? A center for ants?!

*smashes model*

Snoke: I don't wanna hear your excuses! It needs to be at least 3 times as big as this!

Hux:....he's right.

 

Rey: What's the name of this planet?

Luke: Ahch-To.

Rey: Gesundheit!

Luke: No Gesundheit is two planets over. This is Ahch-To.

Rey Gesundheit!

Luke: Ahch-To!

Rey Gesundheit!

Luke: Ahch-To!

Rey Gesundheit!

Luke: Ahch-To!

Rey Gesundheit!

Luke: Ahch-To!

Rey Gesundheit!

*Four hours later*

Luke: Ahch-To!

Rey Gesundheit!
Luke: Ahch-To!

Rey Gesundheit!
Luke: Ahch-To!

Rey Gesundheit!

 

Luke: "Porgs kind of taste like chicken."
Chewie: Nods in agreement.

 

Luke: These porgs are a little chewie.

Chewie: Roar!

Luke: I don't mean chewie like you Chewie. I mean chewie chewie. Like I have to chew them a lot.

 

Luke (to Rey, holding out saber): Did you happen to find a hand with that?

 

CHEWBACCA: (roars)

 

LUKE (FIRST LINE): You can't park your Millennium Falcon there!
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Finn, Rose and DJ on Canto Bight.
FINN: A black man, an oriental girl and a Hispanic.......I hope the Canto Bight police department is a lot more liberally minded than your average United States police department.
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SNOKE: Kylo Ren......This is your life!!!
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LEIA: You must be greatly mistaken if you think I'm taken orders from a woman with candy floss for hair.
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LUKE (TO REY): How do you like your Porg...roasted or deep fried?
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LEIA (TO HOLDO): I think you're in the wrong film, the pink ladies are in Grease.
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POE (TO PHASMA): So do you spend a lot on Brasso?
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HOLDO: I'm not scared of Kylo Ren, I've dealt with a Tyrannosaurus Rex, a Velociraptor and Willem Defoe with a stocking over his head.