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RPR Archive Diamond Institution: A Preparatory School for Role Playing Excellence

Discussion in 'Role Playing Resource Archive' started by LightSide_Apprentice, Apr 8, 2006.

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  1. LightSide_Apprentice Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2001
    star 4
    CLASS 1.3: ADVANCED ROLE PLAYING TECHNIQUE [Continued]

    Students Present: darth_nemisis & Trimaj

    I'll begin by saying that I'm impressed with the responses thus far. Just one thing I've noticed from you, Trimaj, is that you don't use capital letters in your sentences. If you would consider adjusting I believe it'd give your posts a more professional feel to them. Learning, whether through instruction, formal or otherwise, or through trial and error, is learning just the same, and it's always a valuable experience.

    As you have clearly identified, the IC/OOC notation to reflect in-character and out of character actions is, certainly an element of strong post structure. It is definitely a sign of advanced technique. If a location is added to that, then so much the better. Detail is not always necessary, but it does make a difference. My personal opinion would be that the time of day, afternoon, evening, etc, would be unnecessary in a post unless there was some greater purpose or significance, such as if the game implemented a timing system throughout itself and not just between some character scenarios.

    You've touched on something even more interesting when you refer to the use of bold markup codes. This is something that I do not think is a necessary thing to use at all, and neither is it a sign of veteranship or advanced role playing, generally speaking. That is not to say that you are wrong, just that I do not agree, at least, not entirely. What it is in my mind is a technique, and its use is what defines whether or not it is a sign of advanced role playing.

    If the intention is, indeed, the purpose of attracting attention to certain characters, then, yes, placing their names in bold is an excellent tecnique. If the tag is to only one person, however, then there may be no reason to use bold text within the post except in the tag portion. However, this changes when the post itself concerns other characters that may be mentioned in passing where the purpose to highlight their importance becomes paramount.

    As a game master, the same applies. Bold text, quite simply, attracts attention. Using it for that purpose is an 'advanced technique'. It's all about presentation. Some people might argue that post content that is not bold looks more professional, and I am inclined to agree. That said, I still feel that tags should be expressed in bold, regardless of the circumstance.

    My opinion is that speech should never be placed in bold under any circumstance, but that's just me. I simply don't like the way it looks. And the same goes for colours. Having a couple of lines of dialogue in colour seems wasteful or unnecessary when a tag could suffice to draw attention from the necessary parties. As with the use of bold text, it is a technique for advanced role playing, but the precise nature and use of the tecnique will be what defines the player as elite, or as a veteran, and not the simple technique itself. It's all about doing the right thing and using the right tools for the appropriate job or task at hand.

    You've touched on thoughts and placing those in italics. I rather enjoy doing that myself, but I've seen some players convincingly express thoughts in other ways. I've also seen some players express quoted dialogue from other characters in italics, to distinguish between what was already said and what's new. I don't see that this is incredibly valuable when you can fairly clearly see who is saying what by the words themselves and which character they are attached to.

    Making the post look good is precisely what structure is about. It is a technique, which is what this class is centred upon. The use of blockquotes is a perfect example and I am glad to see that it was brought up by both of you. Its use is definitely one worthy of note. The same can be said of concise paragraphs as opposed to wordy ones.

    For the moment, I will leave comments to speech untouched since I think you've dealt with it rather well and have made a very clear and important point known to us
  2. The Great No One Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2005
    star 8
    I'll be using capitalizations when I reply to these then, just so it'll look more professional.

    You did raise a good point Nemisis, those that do not tag specific groups are definitly of the new user variety, even if in everything else they would qualify as at least veteran. That would and using the IC: form make people non-newbies, or at least takes a large step towards it concerning the form of the post. If you do not do these things you can't ever be considered a veteran in my book.


    I do actually have a couple of question. Basically use bold in the text sparingly? if you use it at all? In a game were you only really talk to yourself, using the bold in the text would be considered unprofessional? Or is it possible to do it in that type of situation and have it be considered acceptable? Last possibility, is it just a matter of the persons individual style? If they post with bold for their text in everythin they do concerning speech, and it's done as an identifying mark, would that then be acceptable?

    If you are including something that another person posted already, how would you identify it in your own post if you dont italicize the whole section? Would maybe changing the color of it to seperate it be acceptable, or just frivoless(sp?)?

    Other than that, I'm pretty good.
  3. darth_nemisis Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2004
    star 6
    About the italics, I use that because I want to distinguish from my character and the others. Though, you do make a good point, it does seem, not needed. Though, I like the way it looks in the post, so I will continue using it. I, too, also utilize the italics for thoughts my character is thinking. I think that is a must.

    About bold, I only use it for the first time I mention a characters name, after that, I use regular text.

    I also notice some players seem to "reverse" their posts. They post in regular italics, and use reg text for quotes and such. I kind of like the way that looks, but I don't think I will be adopting it.

    I do not quite like the colored/highlighted text...I don't know why they need to show their character talking over anything else in the post, but, I guess that is their choice.

    Another thing I thought of: use of "bigger" words. For example: instead of: "Count Dooku uses big words" use: "Count Dooku is verbose". That's just an example, and might not be a very good one. However, I believe having a better vocabulary is good, and shows that a user is a veteran, and is not limited to certain words. If a person does not know what it means, they can always copy/paste it into dictionary.com, that's what I always do.

    I must admit, I use to use the TAG: All tag, but I stay away from it now. I also notice they sometime use it when they are only talking to one person. That annoys me.

    Another thing I do not like is when they TAG using the characters names, and not the usernames. I do not know why, but I do not like it very much.

    :)
  4. The Great No One Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2005
    star 8
    I too am not a fan of highlighting test, as it just looks... clunky to be blunt. It detracts from the professional look of the post, and draws too much attention to that one aspect of what is being done rather than what is going on in the world around the character which can be just as important, if not more so.

    A large vocabulary is indeed a good thing to have, it allows you to phrase things in ways that sound more like a character like Dooku. That and you can't really play a well educated character and use small words constantly. Well educated people tend to have larger vocabularies and seek to expand them frequently. With a small one it severly limits you in how you can play a character, as well as what characters you can actually play.

    And yes, I hate, despise and otherwise detest TAG:All.
  5. Penguinator RPF Modinator and Batmanager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    May 23, 2005
    star 6
    Tag: All should only be used by GM's and players interacting with many other PCs. Tag: Any is more appropriate if you just want to get the thread going, to bump it, if you will.

    Also, those who write in the awkward, unclassifiable form...

    *Bill walks forward*

    Oh no! I'm late

    *Bill begins to run*

    ...that's just bad. People, don't do that.
  6. LightSide_Apprentice Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2001
    star 4
    CLASS 1.3: ADVANCED ROLE PLAYING TECHNIQUE [Session I][Continued]

    Students Present: darth_nemisis & Trimaj

    I can confidently say that each of you has already expressed enough insight into structure to have a very good idea of what works and what doesn't. I'll do my best to address each of the points that have been raised before seeking to steer us to a different aspect of role playing technique.

    First of all, there is a definite and obvious difference in your posting style, Trimaj. The use of capital letters where appropriate allows your posts to 'fit in' more easily and they don't stand out as something unusual. I personally prefer this approach and I hope you've come to see why.

    To answer your questions: 1) I would use bold text rarely, myself, yes. If you're going to use it the two most important places it should appear would be IC: [Character Name] and TAG: [Player]. Those would be the priority, and the reason for this is quite simply because it shows precisely who you are playing (your username is already evident in your posts) and the user that you are tagging.

    As darth_nemisis pointed out, it's better to tag a player by their username than by their character. The reason for this is simple. The character's name should already be mentioned somewhere in the body of the post. It is also easier for the user to recognise their own name than the names of individual characters. Likewise, other users can see which players are involved, without having to try to guess who controls what character.

    Using bold text in the body of your post, such as to draw attention to a character name is not a bad thing. It is not necessary, but it is helpful. That doesn't mean you should use bold text every single time that character is mentioned, however. You could just as easily put their name in bold two or three times, and have a better effect without 'crowding' the post.

    If you're playing alone, I don't see much purpose in using bold text excessively. If you use it to refer to a few of the characters involved, however, that's perfectly fine.

    2) There are several ways to include something that another player has posted already. One option, obviously, is to quote their post. The reason I do not recommend this is because it is a simple repetition of what has already been said. It acts merely as a reminder and serves no other purpose. A variation of this would simply be to use italics to illustrate the section of your own post that is actually theirs.

    I would avoid both of these approaches myself, particularly if your post falls soon after theirs. Adding colours and italics achieves much the same thing, so there is no difference except appearance.

    The best way to refer to another user's post is to use integration. What I mean by this is that you can incorporate what they have said into your own post. By simply summarising what they have said, you make the post that you present entirely your own. It looks more professional, for one, and, two, it forces you to think about what they have written, to interpret it in a way that you understand, and use what they have presented to carry on the story. It creates a seamless flow within the game, as opposed to 'sections' dividing who said what within a single post.

    Some players do this and use italics to distinguish between what words were old and those that are new, as far as dialogue goes. I personally do not see that this is necessary. You could have the same effect by simply writing: "Let's head for cover," said Luke, as saying "Let's head for cover," said Luke, since in both instances we know it is Luke who is saying it. And, if the player controlling Luke uses IC: Luke in their own posts, then it'll be perfectly clear that you're using a form of integrated posting.

    Remember, these are simply my preferences. I post like that when I attempt to post in a player capacity and I feel that it gives my posts a professional feel to them. Whether you post in a similar fashion, or seek to do something to make your own pos
  7. The Great No One Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2005
    star 8
    No real questions per se, but I do have a few comments.

    I don't really use bold in my posts much anymore, I've come through bolding speech, and every character name (which I did very briefly) to the point where I will maybe bold something if it's a yell, but it is unlikely. What I will bold, other than the IC and TAG portions is character names only once, and that only if there are other players in the scenario I'm currently in. Clans 2 is a good example of this because I am basically in the game on my own, as is everyone else at this point. You are telling a story by yourself, with the GM interjecting things everyonce in a while, sometimes to cause interaction between other players, at others to give a player a quest. The only modification to regular text I will use is in thoughts, which I italicize. It seems pointless to use anything else to me now, which I have doubts about my views on that changing again.

    Concerning TAGGING, I have never TAGGED a character as that is far harder to even remember in a post at times than the username. I also have never used the TAG ALL in any situation, even first starting out, because I always wanted whoever I was posting to, to know it. It is, quite simply, the lone way to do it that really makes sense to me.

    Integrating Others Posts: I have integrated others posts at times, I have also copied and pasted in italics what they have done. I am currently trying to sort out which way I prefer doing things, and am leaning towards the way you do things LS_A, when I have the time to do it. I have actually run into a situation where it wasn't really appropriate to rewrite something because it was a vision that was given from the gods, and I didn't really have a response until after it happened. Copying and pasting in italics was really the only thing that made a huge amount of sense at the time. In the future I may see things differently. *shrugs* At present I don't really know.

    I have indeed tried to use a wide range of different flavored words in my posts. It is more fun to write them, as well as more fun to read them when people go to the trouble to actually think of a different way to phrase things than just the run of the mill. Run of the mill can be ok in certain instances, but gets boring very quickly seeing the same cliches everywhere. Sai-Mera_Saa was the best I've seen at that to date, as he thought up unique ways to describe even water dripping into a puddle.

    Differentiating Character Speech: Definitly a must IMHO. It also helps to contrast between the actual posts quality and the phrasing used in with the character. Contrasting is one thing that I have started to work on more in my posts as of late. A good example is the following:


    "State your business," was all the guard said to him. It was dressed in mostly black metal armor, with a red emblazened cape. He assumed it was a captain or some such rank. How he longed to rip it's head off, but he held himself in check. Barely.

    "Purchases, bussiness of gold does Azhmodin bring. A problem this is?" His voice came out in something of a low raspy growl, his glassy, black eyes staring out from under his hood, teeth revealed from behind his curled lips. A fool this is! He knows not Azhomdin. Azhomdin kill him now he could. Kill him slowly he could... painfully he could. His eyes started to get a wild look in them, a dangerous wild look... a look they had many times before.

    "No problem... wolf. Know this, you will not find the guards of the city easy prey should you need to fill your... baser desires. We have slaves for sale for that purpose." This caused Azhmodin to grin wickedly. He knew what his second order of business was now, then he would have to find the assassins... he wanted work to do. He was far, far too bored with life at the moment. "Go on your way, and obey the laws or you will be killed. Your weaknesses are known to many in Ur-Karpathos." With that the guard looked away from him.


    That's just a small example of a character
  8. darth_nemisis Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2004
    star 6
    Well, I know I will not stop using bold...though, the whole italics thing, I may sop using that. I notice that you do not use it, LSA, and I always liked that. I am going to try it your way, see how it goes. :)

    Another question, real quick. What about contractions? Would it be any less professional when you use contractions instead of the real word? Ex: Luke made his choice there, he wasn't going to do it. instead of Luke made his choice there, he was not going to do it.

    I am not talking about using it in a quote, because I use them all the time in quotes because I try and write how people would talk, just in general text.

    I don't find differentiating character speech all that important. It, IMO, just depends on the story you are in. If it calls for two humans to speak, I don't think it is necassary for one to speak in third person or whatever, and the other not.

    I think that is all I have to say. :)
  9. The Great No One Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2005
    star 8
    It's insane, scizofrenic werewolf...

    Personally, I prefer contractions over using two words, it's easier to read.
  10. LightSide_Apprentice Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2001
    star 4
    CLASS 1.3: ADVANCED ROLE PLAYING TECHNIQUE [Session I][Continued]

    Students Present: darth_nemisis & Trimaj

    I have only two comments before I assign the long awaited and anticipated homework.

    The first comment is to Trimaj concerning the extract he presented. As far as I can tell you seem to be doing a good job playing a unique character with a different or unusual manner of speech. My only advice would be to be cautious when you start to make him sound a little like Yoda.

    As for darth_nemisis and the use of contractions, I almost thought we were discussing birthing techniques. Anyway, I do not see a huge issue with it. While it does look more formal to write words in full and a little less formal to use contractions, it really depends on the writer and the realm of play. Some games might be very story-like and to fit in you all but need to be entirely formal in every way, while others are less strict, even if only implicitly. I really do believe that it depends on the game and the environment or purpose.

    Your homework assignment: Pick any post you've done recently in any game, and paste it here, including all markups. Or create an entirely random post with a character of your design and post it here, including and incorporating as much or as little as you wish from this class and what we have covered to-date. There is no time limit. So, if you only need a day, that's fine, if you need a week or even more, that's fine, too. Just know that homework will be graded.

  11. The Great No One Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2005
    star 8
    Concerning him sounding like Yoda, I've tried to make sure that at the very least his words are different from most anything Yoda would use. Instead of using the actual name of something, like a vampire I have had him call them drinker of blood, or blood drinker. In the case of a wraith, he calls it insubstantial one. There are also various other things I've tried to to do make sure that they don't really get compared to each other, such as referring to himself in the thirdperson for one.

    On to the homework, I already have a couple of posts in mind that I will be using. One of three I think. Anticipate it in the near future.
  12. PRENNTACULAR VIP

    Member Since:
    Dec 21, 2005
    star 6
    Is it too late to join?
  13. LightSide_Apprentice Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2001
    star 4
    Trimaj, I'm glad you've already been working on ways to improve and maintain a unique manner of speech for your character. It seems like something of that nature will be an ongoing effort, at least until, or unless, it becomes natural, which I would imagine would not be too far off into the future.

    MASTERPRENN, you're more than welcome to join us in our pursuit for higher learning. All you need to do is choose one of the classes from the list of those available and express that interest. I'll make an effort to respond with something along the lines of an introduction as soon as I am able, once you've chosen.

  14. The Great No One Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2005
    star 8
    Yes, I do feel it will grow more natural as I RP as him more.

    This is my most recent post from The Realm of Darkness: Ultimate Fantasy, and I feel that it shows the most of what we were speaking of. I feel this is the form that I will probably continue with, and that it is a reasonably professional looking posting style. Depending on the game I may vary the IC: style slightly, but that is mainly the style I will be using.


    One quick note, I edited a few spelling errors, but other than that this is the exact post from the game./>/>
  15. darth_nemisis Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2004
    star 6
    I guess I do have time for this. from The Sith Trials

    IC: Darth Nemisis
    ~Sith Territory - Korriban~

    The group had a long time to go before they reached the Sith Temple that sat more than forty-five kilometers away; a long trek on feet. It would surely take hours.

    Nemisis was fully aware that the Dark Lords apprentice, Lord Manticore, had not been following them. He was fully aware that he stayed behind to obtain more terentatek blood. Foolish, to say the least. It was apparent that the terentateks were there only to guard the tablet from being taken; a test. They were tools of the former Lord of the Sith, placed within his tomb to allow only the greatest of Sith to pass. They were harmless after the tablet had been taken.

    Manticore must not have realized this. He stayed, and attacked. For what was only twenty minutes, he slaughtered over fifteen Jedi Killers, completely annihilating the beasts. Though, unbeknownst to him, there were over two hundred more beasts within that cave; he was lucky to survive. The Dark Marauder knew this, he had done his research, and he would not go back, for not even Vassago could survive an onslaught of over two hundred giant terentateks.

    Nemisis had not stopped; he did not wait; he let the apprentice make his choice. After approximately an hour, they were half way to their destination, and the apprentice had not caught up yet. A half an hour later, he finally did.

    "Quite impressive," said Nemisis as he stopped and turned to the apprentice. He had known he was alive for the past hour, having felt his presence grow ever nearer. "Do not stray from us again." His voice was now stern, and he turned away, continuing to walk. He did not have to look at Manticore to see that the apprentice was fatigued, stressed, and beaten. Blood trickled down in many areas of his body, and his walk that was once a powerful stride had turned into a slouchy drag, causing him to slow every minute; Nemisis did not, but the others did. It was obvious that the others cared quite a bit.

    A little while later, they had arrived at their destination: the Sith Temple. The gates had been opened, and Nemisis felt a presence had been here. Another Sith Hopeful, one who must have been too scared to enter, and left. He was probably dead now.

    As they entered into the grounds, Manticore's body finally gave out as he fell to the ground, unconscious. The others gathered around him, and Rian spoke. "Mind giving me a hand with him? We need to get him inside at least," he said calmly.

    Nemisis turned to him. "I have a mission to complete, so do you." The Sith Master turned and walked on, inside the Temple. He left his meaning intentionally ambiguous; did he want them to leave the apprentice there? Did he want them to carry him in? He only knew the answer, and he continued on towards the Dark Lord's chambers, tablet in hand, good intentions in mind.


    TAG: greyjedi125, Master_Valar, Hunter_Prime, DARTH-VASSAGO
    I hope that is okay. Just so you know, I am going to be on limited time for a bit. I apologize. :(

    EDIT: Oh, and thanks for that info LS_A. It makes sense. ;)/>/>
  16. LightSide_Apprentice Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2001
    star 4
    CLASS 1.3: ADVANCED ROLE PLAYING TECHNIQUE [Session I][Continued]

    Students Present: darth_nemisis & Trimaj

    I'll begin with my personal assessment of the post from Trimaj. Please look upon my words as an attempt at constructive criticism. If I appear harsh it is in an effort to help point out what I see as items and areas for improvement. I do not offer much in the way of praise here simply because the quality and depth of the posts seems fair, and you will learn more from areas for improvement than any amount of praise I could offer you.


    Waiting on a Wraith to speak can be a rather... unnerving experience at the best of times. At the worst, it could drive you insane. The insubstantial thing looking at you, seeing you're very essence.


    Should the bold word be "your" as opposed to "you're"?


    It will depend...On what Mister
    Good this is not... A former magic
    Azhmodin wonders... has he
    different voice... and Azhmodin


    Why do we see capital letters after some ...'s and other times lower case letters?

    As you can see these elements do not deal with the content of the post but rather the technical aspects of it as far as it concerns a piece of written english. I'd go for full tags myself, that is, greyjedi125 and Imperial_Hammer, as opposed to GJ, and I_H, simply because I think it looks better, more professional or otherwise. Likewise, I would most likely have used the Voice with a capital V to mirror the capital used in the Other. Additionally, I'd recommend using a ":" after tag, so that it appears "TAG: greyjedi125", as opposed to "TAG greyjedi125". And, when tagging yourself, why not simply say "TAG: Trimaj"?


    darth_nemisis, don't worry, you did not escape my keen eye. Like my comments to Trimaj, my goal here is to point out possible areas for improvement that you may or may not have noticed. And, I'll begin with the second paragraph's mention of the "Dark Lords apprentice". Should "Lords" show an ' between the d and s to read "Lord's"?


    Another Sith Hopeful, one who must have been too scared to enter, and left. He was probably dead now.


    "Hopeful" with a capital H? Was this intentional?


    Please offer your own comments, responses and reasons for the items indicated above. I would like you both to be fully aware that I was pleased to see bold "IC" sections, which indicated the character you were playing, and then later displayed your tags. darth_nemisis, when tagging Vassago, I'd personally go without the use of capitalised text, but that's just me. It was also nice to see that both of you listed the locations that your characters were beginning at.

    Thoughts? Questions?/>/>
    />/>
  17. The Great No One Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2005
    star 8

    I'll begin with my personal assessment of the post from Trimaj. Please look upon my words as an attempt at constructive criticism. If I appear harsh it is in an effort to help point out what I see as items and areas for improvement. I do not offer much in the way of praise here simply because the quality and depth of the posts seems fair, and you will learn more from areas for improvement than any amount of praise I could offer you.


    That is fine, as well as more or less what I would have expected. After all, we're taking this course for improvement rather than praise. Praise because of the improvement is more what I would prefer in any given situation, rather than praise for the status quo. I'd rather be constantly improving than standing still.



    Waiting on a Wraith to speak can be a rather... unnerving experience at the best of times. At the worst, it could drive you insane. The insubstantial thing looking at you, seeing you're very essence.



    Should the bold word be "your" as opposed to "you're"?


    Indeed it should, and I find myself reasonably embarressed to have missed that as I've been making a special effort not to miss those.



    It will depend...On what Mister
    Good this is not... A former magic
    Azhmodin wonders... has he
    different voice... and Azhmodin



    Why do we see capital letters after some ...'s and other times lower case letters?


    The reason for the difference is fairly simple. Some of them were supposed to be new sentences, I.E. the ones that started out capatilzed. The others were merely a pause from what was being thought. It was to show a break in the thought, the need for contemplation.


    As you can see these elements do not deal with the content of the post but rather the technical aspects of it as far as it concerns a piece of written english. I'd go for full tags myself, that is, greyjedi125 and Imperial_Hammer, as opposed to GJ, and I_H, simply because I think it looks better, more professional or otherwise. Likewise, I would most likely have used the Voice with a capital V to mirror the capital used in the Other. Additionally, I'd recommend using a ":" after tag, so that it appears "TAG: greyjedi125", as opposed to "TAG greyjedi125". And, when tagging yourself, why not simply say "TAG: Trimaj"?


    I suppose there is a point with using the full names, but normally (at least from what I've seen in games) after you've been posting with a specific group of people for an amount of time, which does vary from game to game or group to group, posters tend to start using abbreviations or just initials. This would be the case in this instance, as this is a group that has posted several times together. I'll think about it, and make a decision on what I will do in the future.

    As to the "TAG MYSELF" it's just a preference. I have used "TAG TRIMAJ" before, I've used "TAG NO ONE" or various examples of this. Having tried most of them, the one that I personally am most comfortable with is "TAG MYSELF" as it more or less suits my style.
  18. darth_nemisis Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2004
    star 6
    I am not really sure where the (')'s go all the time, I never have been good at that.

    The H was intentionally capitalized because I classify them as a group in it's own, like Sith Apprentice, but I guess it didn't need to be. They don't always capitolize those words do they?

    And the reason why Vassago's TAG is in capital letters is because I wanted to get his attention. I don't always do that. ;)

    Sorry for the short response, I am quite busy. Just wanted to get on to see what you had to say.
  19. LightSide_Apprentice Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2001
    star 4
    CLASS 1.3: ADVANCED ROLE PLAYING TECHNIQUE [Session I][Continued]

    Students Present: darth_nemisis & Trimaj

    I'll trust that you know what you're doing, Trimaj. That does not necessarily mean that I would agree with your reasoning for the use of spaces for thought. My recommendation to you would be to exercise caution. I've seen a lot of people use the full stops to indicate thought processing, but it is most common in chaotic type characters.

    Given that you're playing one such character, my advice would be to use it where appropriate--if I were you, I'd do your best to avoid using the full stops just for the sake of showing that your character is disorganised in his thoughts, the key would be to use it to show when he is. I'm sure you already know this, I just believe it is important and worth offering as reinforcement.

    I will not go into detail with the use of tags. You're certainly free to do as you please. And, I cannot reveal strongly enough that all of the words and criticisms I offer here are my thoughts alone. Just because I would do things one way, or like posts presented in a certain manner, does not mean that that is how they should be presented, or that it is even the best way.

    darth_nemisis, part of this class is to learn, so, if anyone here can help you, they most likely will do exactly that. The apostrophe. ie. ' is used to indicate, in its most common from, ownership. So, if a Sith Lord owns a pet dog, we use the Sith Lord's dog. Not the Sith Lords dog. The same applies to thoughts and feelings. For example, Darth Vassago's anger boiled into a fury. The occassions when you do not use an apostrophe include instances where you offer plurals, which, essentially is a collection or group of something. A group of Sith might be referred to as Sith Lords, much as we use ducks, birds, trees, all without the ' at the end.

    Please refer to this website on apostrophe usage for a more in-depth explanation. And, as always, feel free to ask for clarification from either myself or anyone else if you desire it. I'd be only too happy to help where I am able.

    As far as capitalising words, I am led to believe that authors, writers and role players may do so rather freely if there is a purpose or reason. Your use of Hopeful is an excellent example, as is Sith Apprentice. I do not see a big issue with its use in games here. If you ever go on to write a book, though, or a formal assignment for school, you might want to reconsider.

    And, last, but certainly not least, I am pleased to see that there was a cause for capitalising Darth Vassago's tag. It's certainly a wonderful way to catch his attention.


    The second part of this analysis was to go beyond the spelling and grammar of a post, and to examine it in further depth. You really might be surprised with what you find. Before I go on to reveal some of my own additional thoughts and comments in that regard, I ask that you take some time to look over your own posts here, and one another's, and raise anything that you feel is noteworthy. I'll join in once I've seen a response from at least one of you.

  20. The Great No One Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2005
    star 8
    I'll trust that you know what you're doing, Trimaj. That does not necessarily mean that I would agree with your reasoning for the use of spaces for thought. My recommendation to you would be to exercise caution. I've seen a lot of people use the full stops to indicate thought processing, but it is most common in chaotic type characters.

    Given that you're playing one such character, my advice would be to use it where appropriate--if I were you, I'd do your best to avoid using the full stops just for the sake of showing that your character is disorganised in his thoughts, the key would be to use it to show when he is. I'm sure you already know this, I just believe it is important and worth offering as reinforcement.


    I am aware that this is the way it should be used. That is actually the highest amount of usage of ... out of any post I have written. I use it a lot when I type on here in any rate, and I will try to cut back on the usage of it so that I do not over use it, and so that it will have more significance to the character. I hope that the contrast of the other two voices will help to make it more apparent just how crazy, and messedup mentally Azhmodin is though. That contrast actually should mean that I need to use it less rather than more.

    More coming, it posted long before I was ready (bloody keyboard) and I am running out of time at the moment, and it just lost my previous edit.
  21. darth_nemisis Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2004
    star 6
    Ah, that is quite useful knowledge, Lightside_Apprentice. Thank you. :)

    Another thing I have a bit of a problem with is the semi-colons, and it's placements. I understand it slightly, but do not always know if a comma goes there, or semi-colon. Just thought I would announce that.

    And I would like to say that I am very sorry for my absence. I have been quite busy, and hope it is not a cause of trouble for either of you.

    That is all from me, for now. :)
  22. Kev-Mas_Colcha Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 15, 2002
    star 5
    I'd like to enroll in section two. I am having some troubles with Game Management, according to my friends.
  23. jedi_whitelight1 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 25, 2006
    star 4
    OCC: Is it to late to join the school -- jedi_whitelight1
  24. LightSide_Apprentice Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2001
    star 4
    CLASS 1.3: ADVANCED ROLE PLAYING TECHNIQUE [Session I][Continued]

    Students Present: darth_nemisis & Trimaj

    I'm glad that someone brought up the topic of semi-colon usage. You'll find that you're not alone in questioning whether or not its use is appropriate in some circumstances and not in others. darth_nemisis, for your own reference please see the examples provided here. Essentially they're used for two main purposes. The first is to make lists or list-like descriptions where the individual items of reference are referred to using commas or other punctuation marks. And, the second is when you're joining two thoughts or descriptions, the second of which is a continuation of the first. The link will offer you a better explanation, and one that is more correct than my own.

    Spelling, grammar and punctuation tools are especially important in writing. They're the 'tools of the trade' or the 'rules' to follow. While role-playing is generally informal, the use of proper spelling, grammar and punctuation--a general attempt at mastering English--cannot go astray. Further learning comes with time, constructive criticism, instruction, and research. I imagine that you will only benefit in this regard so long as you continue to learn.



    Before we move to the next stage of this class, I'd like to analyse, in greater depth, both posts that were made earlier. Since the analysis will be open to additions and comments of your own, I'll begin with the first post and move on to the second later. This, of course, means that Trimaj will be first. It does not mean that the class is exclusive to him, however. The purpose of this effort to to encourage involvement.

    The Good

    One of the good points of the post is the opening. Having "IC: Azhmodin" and then listing the location of that same character immediately thereafter, is a common technique used in role playing. It helps us all know who you're playing and where you are. The use of bold text in this regard to highlight the significance of the item earns you bonus points in my eyes.

    The Bad

    In your second paragraph you wrote: "Only time would tell, and only time would tell if it would even come to pass for that matter." The use of the words 'only time would tell' twice, so near one another, is repetitive, obviously. Repetition is not a good thing. If you did it on purpose, that's fine. I suspect that more people would frown rather than praise it.

    Your last line from the first piece said: "Yes, you were a fool! This was a different voice... and Azhmodin knew he had a rather large problem on his hands that didn't include this shadowy form before him." My concern is the word 'this'. It seems that 'include the shadowy' would be more appropriate.

    The Ugly

    In the third paragraph you wrote: "There was no way Ocklimar wouldn't deal with this thing now, rather than later." I found the statement rather ambiguous. It confuses the reader. Or perhaps it just confuses me. I understand that you're saying it requires Ocklimar's immediate attention. It is the wording that I find odd.

    Another line I found odd was "He nearly shivered, but was able to control himself enough not to." Those woulds could be written in so many other ways. Perhaps that's the problem for me, perhaps it's too wordy.

    There are instances where you use the word Wraith with a capital 'W' and others where you do not. Be sure to use capitals when you're reffering to the word Wraith as a name, or title.

    Other Notes and Comments

    A listed location "Ur-Karpathos, Ocklimar's Cave of Wonders, Item Shop" in the opening of the post is generally a good thing. Having both it and the character name in bold, however, brings the two into the same type of category. My personal preference is to use italics for locations and bold for character names and tags. The reason I do this is to separate the two as distinct items.

    The order in which you list the descrip
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  25. Kev-Mas_Colcha Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 15, 2002
    star 5
    So, what questions are you asking me to answer?

    Also, one thing that I realized I am struggling at, is grabbing the viewer's attention and making them want to join, since, often, my RPGs are way too complicated. Such as the one I have open now.
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