Before Discovering the Truth of Hearts (Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan) another update, 6-20

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by UltimateObi-Wan_987, Feb 23, 2006.

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  1. UltimateObi-Wan_987 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 15, 2005
    star 4
    Title: Discovering the Truth of Hearts
    Author: UltimateObi-Wan_987
    Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, OCs
    Genre: Drama/Mystery
    Timeframe: pre-TPM
    Summary: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan take mission to solve a mystery
    Disclaimer: I didn't come up with Star Wars - I'm not that bright! Not everything's of my creation - I'm just borrowing them for a little while. I'll return them when I'm done, promise!

    I haven't had much experience in writing fanfics yet, so anything that anyone wants to say is more than welcome! I don't care if you love the story or if you think it's the worst thing you've ever read - I want to hear what you think!

    ********

    There was no avoiding it now. Either he blocked this attack, or it was all over. There would be no second chance after this ? he?d used all of his wild cards already on situations not quite as dire as the one he was faced with now.

    The attack came, and Obi-Wan was there to meet it, fortunately (luckily, if Obi-Wan thought about it long enough). He got his blade up to his shoulder just in time to intercept the oncoming lightsaber. The relief he felt must have been evident on his face, for his opponent quickly reversed his attack, rebounding off Obi-Wan?s own lightsaber to bring in an attack at the boy?s ankles. Easily jumping over the low swipe, Obi-Wan decided it was about high time he try an attack of his own instead of reacting to everything that was thrown at him. Realizing the advantage his opponent had just presented him with, Obi-Wan twisted around to the back of his opponent, swinging his lightsaber out in an arch in front of him on the level of his opponent?s knees. Feeling confident in this manoeuver, Obi-Wan put all of his weight into the attack, hoping to end things here and now.

    Unfortunately, Obi-Wan?s lack of expertise in the art of lightsaber duelling showed in Obi-Wan?s assumptions of the situation. Being 19 years of age, Obi-Wan knew how to recognize weak spots in his opponent?s fighting style, and had learned to take advantage of them when he had to. However, in taking advantage of a weakness, he forgot one main thing: to keep his own defense up. So in effect, after Obi-Wan had completed his spin around his opponent, he came face-to-face with his opponent?s lightsaber across his midsection, barely avoiding contact. Obi-Wan?s own lightsaber was effectively stopped in it?s tracks, as was right in this situation. He had let his defense slip and had ultimately lost.

    Meeting the eyes of his opponent, Obi-Wan quickly straightened himself, deactivated his lightsaber, and executed a quick bow to his sparring partner. Obi-Wan was not at all surprised he had lost; his opponent was older and more experienced than he. However, Obi-Wan wasn?t satisfied with the way the match ended. They had been engaged in the duel for over 45 minutes, Obi-Wan having been capable of meeting and diverting every attack from his opponent. Yet, in the end, when it mattered the most, he had let his concentration slip and let down his guard. It wasn?t a mistake he often made any more, and the fact that he still made it from time to time annoyed Obi-Wan. He had thought that he had rid himself of that particular flaw in his fighting style?apparently not.

    ?Don?t think of it as a flaw, Padawan,? his opponent told him, anticipating the direction of Obi-Wan?s thoughts. ?Think of it as something to work on in future spars. There?s no shame in admitting that you still have things you can learn. If you didn?t, you would be a Knight already. Now tell me, do you feel you are ready to become a Knight??

    ?No, Master,? Obi-Wan admitted truthfully.

    ?Nor is it necessary for you to feel so,? his partner said. ?Each individual is different in their own aspects, and there is no reason to feel shame if you feel yourself unprepared for the life of a Knight right now. Not that you couldn?t do it if you had to, because I know you could. However, every Jedi is here to make sure that, when the time comes, you can perform your duties as a Je
  2. LuvObi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2005
    star 3
    Great start! Intriguing enough for me to want to keep reading and there aren't any mistakes. Good descriptions of thoughts too.
  3. MASTER_KAYM Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2004
    star 1
    This is great!! I love the first chapter :)
  4. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    Terrific=D=

    Very easy to read and interesting too

    I wonder what Qui-Gon has up his
    sleeve for his apprentice[face_shame_on_you]



  5. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Very nicely done! =D= I look forward to more of your work! :D
  6. kenobiwanobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2005
    star 3
    Very very nice piece you have here...please PM me with updates.
  7. Terra_Wan_Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2005
    star 1
    Great begining!!! Can you PM when you update???
    looking for more updates
  8. UltimateObi-Wan_987 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 15, 2005
    star 4
    I'm glad to see that people are taking the time to stop by and read my story - it really means a lot to me. I wasn't sure if people would be interested in reading this, so each comment is a welcome surprise!

    (from the first thread):
    Wow, what comments, thanks! I have to admit, action has never been one of my strong points in writing, so I'm pleased to see that you liked it. I try to avoid action when I can, but I also realize that every good story has to have a little bit of action. *sigh* Oh well, hopefully I'll get better at it as the story goes along...
    Oh, and thanks for the welcome! [:D]
    I'm glad that I grabbed your interest, arbed! I completely understand what you're saying about relationships not being played out enough in the movies. That's one of the reasons I love reading fanfics, and love writing them even more! Writing my own story gives me a chance to share my take on Star Wars with other people and see how they react to it. Which makes it even more better when people take the time to leave a comment telling me that they understand what I was trying to get across in a story. And don't worry, I'll make sure that all you ladies in the Ewan thread know when I have the next post up!

    LuvObi:
    Great start! Intriguing enough for me to want to keep reading and there aren't any mistakes. Good descriptions of thoughts too.

    I'm glad to hear that the beginning of this seems to have worked out so nicely. I was a little worried because this was the only thing I was giving people to base this story on, so I knew it had to be interesting and entertaining enough to make them want to continue reading this story. It seems like I've done that alright, which is a huge weight off my shoulders, believe me! Like I've said, I'm so much better at thoughtful scenes than action scenes, so it's only natural if my fight scenes have a lot going on on a mental level.

    Gklikenny:
    Terrific =D=
    Well, I'm glad you thought my writing was good enough to use such a strong word to describe it! Thanks a bunch!

    Very easy to read and interesting too
    You know, I've never really been a believer that complicated English makes a story more enjoyable, and I don't really like using hard English when I write, so I'm glad to see that you agree with my form of writing. I think a story is more enjoyable if you don't have to stop every 5 minutes and think, "Okay, now what did that just say?", so I avoid that whenever I can and just hope that it's still enough to not sound generic.

    I wonder what Qui-Gon has up his
    sleeve for his apprentice [face_shame_on_you]

    Hmmm, I have no idea, honestly!... [face_whistling]

    VaderLVR64:
    Very nicely done! =D= I look forward to more of your work! :D
    I'm glad to see you took the time to read my little work here, thanks! Although, I can't really take credit for the story - it demanded to be written, and I'm the one that finally decided to sit down and write it.

    kenobiwanobi:
    Very very nice piece you have here...
    Thanks, I'm happy that you seem to have enjoyed the beginning to a probably very complex story! I hope you'll keep reading and leaving your feedback!

    Terra_Wan_Kenobi:
  9. Courtney_Solo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2005
    star 4
    This is quite an interesting fic you have here! I'm looking forward to seeing more, and if you have a PM list, put me on it! :D

    C @};- S
  10. Jedi_Freyja Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 4, 2005
    star 1
    Great story! I actually read this last night and I have no idea why I didn't leave a reply! So I'm making up for it now. Only problem is I can't remember any of my specific thoughts. :p Well, anyways, I thought it was good. I'm interested in seeing where this goes. If you've got a PM list, I'd love to be added.

    Have a great day!
  11. Star_Drifter Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 18, 2005
    star 3
    Qui-Gon seemed to be in one of his playful moods, where he pulled pranks and stunts on Obi-Wan. The moods didn?t happen often, but when they did, Qui-Gon had no hesitations about taking advantage of them. That was the reason Qui-Gon had suggested this sparring match out of the blue ? he felt like stirring something up. So more than likely, Qui-Gon wasn?t telling him about the message to test his Padawan?s limits, to see how long he could keep his composure.

    [face_laugh] I get those same moods, sometimes!

    I am enjoying your story, and your style! :D

    More, please! [face_batting]

    Star
  12. Katieelessar Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 1, 2005
    star 2
    Wonderful story, please continue it soon! =D=
  13. UltimateObi-Wan_987 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 15, 2005
    star 4
    Courtney_Solo:
    This is quite an interesting fic you have here!
    Welcome! I'm glad that you found this story interesting so far - I really didn't know what I wanted to do with this fist scene, so I'm pleased that it seems to have worked well for you!

    I'm looking forward to seeing more
    Really? Me, too! :p

    Jedi_Freyja:
    Great story!
    Why, thank you! I'm not very experienced in the fanfic-writting area, so I'm always worried what someone will think of my latest work. I'm glad that the overall response to this so far seems to be good!

    I actually read this last night and I have no idea why I didn't leave a reply! So I'm making up for it now.
    Well, if it was late at night and you were tired, then it's completely understandable why you didn't take the time to leave a comment! I've done the same thing, myself, and I know how long those last 5 minutes before you go to bed can be!

    Only problem is I can't remember any of my specific thoughts.
    Just another sign that it was time for you to go to bed! Everyone has those times, so it's not a problem! [:D]

    I'm interested in seeing where this goes.
    You might regret saying that later, because I'm very good at including much more information into stories than anyone wants or needs! I'm going to be watching myself closely for that with this story, but you never know...one or two pointless stories might slip past me!

    Have a great day!
    You, too!

    Star_Drifter:
    "Qui-Gon seemed to be in one of his playful moods, where he pulled pranks and stunts on Obi-Wan. The moods didn?t happen often, but when they did, Qui-Gon had no hesitations about taking advantage of them. That was the reason Qui-Gon had suggested this sparring match out of the blue ? he felt like stirring something up. So more than likely, Qui-Gon wasn?t telling him about the message to test his Padawan?s limits, to see how long he could keep his composure."

    [face_laugh] I get those same moods, sometimes!

    I think just about everyone gets those moods every now and then, why not a Jedi? I don't want to write an all-serious, all-the-time Jedi story, because from my point of view, Jedi are just as much people as the rest of us, they just have better control over theirselves...that doesn't mean they don't know how to have fun, though!

    I am enjoying your story, and your style! :D
    I'm glad to hear that you're finding this a good read so far. I don't like using the biggest words possible in the English language to describe how someone turned around; I'd much rather say "He turned around" because the point is still taken...hopefully!

    Katieelessar:
    Wonderful story, please continue it soon! =D=
    Welcome, Katieelessar! I'm glad that you decided to visit and leave your comment on the story. I know it's not much yet, but I'm glad that it seems to be alright for you so far.


    Okay, as far as the next part goes, I'm hoping to have it posted some time tomorrow...that's my goal as of right now. Like I said earlier, I'm afraid there's a lot of information, but I'm still setting up the story - I promise it won't all be like this!
  14. ShiriKeiCelisoe Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 8, 2002
    star 5
    Ultimate, let me know when you get the next part up. I really, really, really want to read it! :D
  15. UltimateObi-Wan_987 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 15, 2005
    star 4
    Well, it might have taken longer than I wanted, but I've finally got the next part done for you! I'm going to apologize in advance because there is A LOT of information in this piece - I'm still setting everything up, so there was no way I could really avoid it, unfortunately. Hopefully it all flows okay and isn't too much to take in all at once...anyway, here you go!

    ********

    After having taken the evening meal in the dinning hall, Qui-Gon decided that it was time to meet with the Council concerning their new mission. Which suited Obi-Wan fine, if anyone were to ask him. He was ready to hear everything the Council had for them over their next assignment, especially when they would be required to leave to head off to their new destination.

    Whatever quirky, energetic mood Qui-Gon had been in earlier was now replaced by his more serious, formal side. This transformation always occurred when Qui-Gon learned that he and Obi-Wan had been assigned a new mission. And it was rightly so ? planets, sometimes even entire systems, only appealed to the Jedi Council when they felt their situation was dire or nearing said state. Each mission was to be approached very seriously so that the best solution could be reached. This task was made easier when the Jedi given the position of peace keepers or problem solvers for the request were completely focused on the situation at hand and not distracted by something from earlier that was completely irrelevant to the present mission.

    Not to say that the Jedi didn?t know how to have fun. The Room of a Thousand Fountains was often visited by Padawans of all ages and species, not to mention Knights and the occasional Master, who were looking for a relaxing or fun dip in one of the many available crystal-clear lakes. Some of the water wars that resulted from these visits were legendary, known not only by those that were there but familiar to every one in the Temple, from the Council to the children in the Crèche and everyone in between. Some of the more infamous wars left the entire Room slightly damper than normal and even sometimes went as far as to spill out into the Temple halls, thereby requiring immediate retaliation from the innocent Jedi that had simply been walking down the wrong hall at the wrong time.

    Yes, the Jedi knew how to enjoy themselves in a spontaneous moment, but the were just as capable of handling stressful peace negotiations without breaking a sweat or staring death straight in the face without flinching. This was part of what it meant to be a Jedi, after all: appreciating every opportunity given them and being able to adapt to any situation.

    All these things were running through Obi-Wan?s head as he waited with Qui-Gon outside the Council chamber doors. What this next mission entailed, he could hardly guess. He and his Master had been assigned a wide variety of missions over the last 6 years, from protecting Senators under threat of assassination to single fathers trying single-handedly to bring peace to their world. Each mission was something special to Obi-Wan, and each had at least one distinct instance that he felt he would never be able to forget. There was no telling what the next mission could have in store, and more than likely they still wouldn?t have a clear picture after their briefing with the Council. It was also entirely possible that the actual mission wouldn?t become clear until they were back in the Temple, recounting for the Council everything that happened.

    Standing there with his Master, awaiting a new assignment from the Council, Obi-Wan couldn?t help but feel proud of the life he?d been granted by the Force. Obi-Wan would never have thought that, a few months after he was born, he would be chosen to be a part of the next generation of Jedi. Had he grown up as any normal child outside of the Temple, he probably wouldn?t even be able to imagine the life that could have awaited him inside it?s doors. The life of a Jedi certainly wasn?t something to be taken lightly, and it wasn?t always so enjoyable, but Obi-Wan felt that he cou
  16. MASTER_KAYM Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2004
    star 1
    I can't wait to see what happens ;)
  17. Veloz Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 30, 2004
    star 6
    Nice story Ultimate! =D=

    Cant wait to see what awaits them on this trip :D
  18. roguegirl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 29, 2001
    star 4
    Wow! Clearly,Quigon and Obiwan were the dynamic duo of the Jedi Temple.I'm pretty sure you'll throw in some lightsaber action.After all,that's where they're great at.I wonder if you'll include Darth Maul in your fanfic.That would be awesome.I'll be looking forward for more.
  19. Courtney_Solo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2005
    star 4
  20. kenobiwanobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2005
    star 3
    I can't wait to see how/where this goes..good post.
  21. Jedi_Freyja Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 4, 2005
    star 1
    Yeah, nice post Ultimate! Sorry it took me so long to sit down and read it. I get the feelings that the pace is going to begin picking up now that Obi and Qui are assigned to thei mission now. I excited to see how it goes.

    Great job! =D=
  22. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    I think this mission is going to be more
    than they expected

    Post soon=D=


  23. UltimateObi-Wan_987 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 15, 2005
    star 4
    Thanks to everyone that's decided to keep up with this story. I know it's kind of boring to follow a story from the beginning, because, let's face it, it's not all action here! I really appreciate everyone taking their time to read this, and especially those who leave feedback so I can know what I'm doing right!

    MASTER_KAYM:
    I can't wait to see what happens ;)
    Well, I'm glad to see that I've apparently snagged your attention! The story isn't that great so far, I know, but I'm just about done with setting everything up...hopefully the next part will be more enjoyable to read. Thanks for sticking around!

    Veloz:
    Nice story Ultimate! =D=
    *takes bows* Thank you, thank you, thank you...although, I have to say, I'm not sure how enjoyable this is so far - it's just starting out! [face_worried]

    Cant wait to see what awaits them on this trip :D
    Well, hate to say this, Veloz, but it looks like you're going to have to wait at least a little bit! This is a work in progress, so unfortunately I don't have the completed story laying right next to me...that'd be really nice, though!

    roguegirl:
    Wow! Clearly,Quigon and Obiwan were the dynamic duo of the Jedi Temple.
    Well, I don't want to take the place of Mr. Lucas here, clearly, but I always thought that the Jinn-Kenobi team seemed to be very strong. I love the thought of the Council entrusting them with an important mission, which is probably why I had them do that in the story!

    I'm pretty sure you'll throw in some lightsaber action.After all,that's where they're great at.
    Yes, I'm sure any story that I tried to write would be an absolute failure if I didn't have at least a little lightsaber use in there...hey, wait, I had Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon training at the beginning! Okay, that's it, no more lightsabers! [face_mischief]

    I wonder if you'll include Darth Maul in your fanfic.That would be awesome.
    Hmmm, is this supposed to be a subtle hint??

    Courtney_Solo:
    Ooh, nice! :cool:
    Short, simlple, the perfect response! Thanks for that At least I know that you're still enjoying the story...hopefully. [face_praying]

    kenobiwanobi:
    I can't wait to see how/where this goes.
    Hopefully, things will only get better from here out, which, coming from me, means that things are probably going to get a lot more complicated than they need to be. But what can I say, that's how I write!

    Jedi_Freyja:
    Yeah, nice post Ultimate!
    I have to admit, I procrastinated working on this scene because I just couldn't help but think how boring it was going to be! I thought about starting this story in the middle and trying to get everyone caught up along the way, but I decided to be more traditional than that and just start slow...but hopefully not too slow!

    I get the feelings that the pace is going to begin picking up now that Obi and Qui are assigned to thei mission now.
    Trust me, I'm certainly working on the whole pace thing! I really didn't anticipate this story starting out so slow, so I'm going to work on making up for that now.

    Gkilkenny:
    I think this mission is going to be more
    than they expected

    Shh! You're not supposed to know that yet! :p
    Of course it's going to be more, it always is - that's what makes it interesting!


    Okay, the next part is currently underway as I speak, or write...whatever the case is! I want to try and post a section once a week, so if all goes as I hope it to, I'll have the next part in here tomorrow...I hope! Well, better get back to work...
  24. UltimateObi-Wan_987 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 15, 2005
    star 4
    Okay, I've FINALLY got the next part to this story ready. I was actually planning on having it longer, but considering I've not posted a new section for about two weeks now, I figured I'd go ahead and give you guys something to read. I'm really sorry that it took me so long to get this next part up - I was planning on posting last week, but then I suddenly had a thousand things to do at once, plus I had a birthday, and to top it all off I got hit with the stomach flu. Hopefully I've got things back under control now, so I'm hoping to get the next part posted within a week...

    Anyway, hope this is a little more interesting to read than the other posts so far!

    ********

    The journey to Riemd was filled with meditation and study for the Jedi. It was regular for this team, as just about every other Jedi team in the Temple, to spend these last moments of preparation in meditation, preparing themselves mentally for whatever they may encounter when they arrive at their destination. While Obi-Wan sometimes had problems meditating so frequently as a younger Padawan, as he grew and matured he started appreciating any time he was allowed to meditate more and more. He started feeling less bored during his meditations and more fulfilled, better organized. In a galaxy of growing complications, it was a comfort to know that everything was straight in his own head.

    The ship he and Qui-Gon were on wasn?t anything spectacular, as they were Jedi and didn?t need luxury. It was comfortable enough to seat the two of them easily, but trying to put any one else on the ship would require a bit of squeezing past each other. Thus, there was no big event to accompany their landing in Tuchtam, the capitol city of Riemd; no ?oohs? and ?ahhs? from the passer-by that simply adored beautiful ships.

    When everything was prepared and the Jedi descended the lowered ramp, there was no surprise on either face when they were met with a deserted landing pad. There was no royal welcoming party waiting to escort them to the palace as they had been told to expect. So, instead of risking the fragile trust that currently existed between these two Jedi and the ruling power of Riemd, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan decided to go back into the ship and wait until the group came to retrieve them.

    This was not the first time this team had been presented with this situation, and they had learned from experience that waiting for the promised escort was a wiser move. Qui-Gon inwardly winced as he remembered that particular beginning to their mission on Richtol VII. He and Obi-Wan had decided to make their way toward the capitol building alone when the governor (who had actually forgotten to go meet the Jedi) had failed to show up. Qui-Gon distinctly remembered turning to ask Obi-Wan a question when he watched an undetected blaster bolt rip its way through Obi-Wan's left upper arm. If he remembered correctly, his Padawan still carried the scar. No, it was a much wiser decision to wait than to take matters into their own hands prematurely in the mission.

    After about 45 minutes of waiting, the Jedi inevitably became a little restless. The King had been informed that a Jedi team was being sent to him, and he had been told when approximately to expect the team's arrival. Why had the King not made plans according to the information he'd been sent? Had he not received the message? Surely if that was the case, he could have figured out on his own how long it would be until the Jedi arrived. There seemed to be no logical reason as to why no one had come to acknowledge the Jedi's presence yet. Still, Qui-Gon was hesitant about heading off on their own. The King had told them the delicacy of the situation on Riemd, and Qui-Gon was not ready to test the King's word quite yet. So he decided to wait, and let things unfold as they were meant to.

    After another 30 minutes of waiting, Obi-Wan turned to Qui-Gon with a question in his eye. There was little hope left that a party was coming for them at all, now. Too much time had passed for the team to just not of had the correc
  25. kenobiwanobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2005
    star 3
    "And now we wait..."

    I hate waiting *hint,hint*

    Good post and thanks for the PM!
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