Saga Discovering the Truth of Hearts - Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan - first post, 2-22

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by UltimateObi-Wan_987, Feb 22, 2006.

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  1. UltimateObi-Wan_987 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 15, 2005
    star 4
    Title: Discovering the Truth of Hearts

    Author: UltimateObi-Wan_987

    Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, OCs

    Genre: Drama

    Timeframe: pre-TPM

    Summary: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan take mission to solve a mystery

    I haven't had much experience in writing fanfics yet, so anything that anyone wants to say is more than welcome! I don't care if you love the story or if you think it's the worst thing you've ever read - I want to hear what you think!


    There was no avoiding it now. Either he blocked this attack, or it was all over. There would be no second chance after this ? he?d used all of his wild cards already on situations not quite as dire as the one he was faced with now.

    The attack came, and Obi-Wan was there to meet it, fortunately (luckily, if Obi-Wan thought about it long enough). He got his blade up to his shoulder just in time to intercept the oncoming lightsaber. The relief he felt must have been evident on his face, for his opponent quickly reversed his attack, rebounding off Obi-Wan?s own lightsaber to bring in an attack at the boy?s ankles. Easily jumping over the low swipe, Obi-Wan decided it was about high time he try an attack of his own instead of reacting to everything that was thrown at him. Realizing the advantage his opponent had just presented him with, Obi-Wan twisted around to the back of his opponent, swinging his lightsaber out in an arch in front of him on the level of his opponent?s knees. Feeling confident in this manoeuver, Obi-Wan put all of his weight into the attack, hoping to end things here and now.

    Unfortunately, Obi-Wan?s lack of expertise in the art of lightsaber duelling showed in Obi-Wan?s assumptions of the situation. Being 19 years of age, Obi-Wan knew how to recognize weak spots in his opponent?s fighting style, and had learned to take advantage of them when he had to. However, in taking advantage of a weakness, he forgot one main thing: to keep his own defense up. So in effect, after Obi-Wan had completed his spin around his opponent, he came face-to-face with his opponent?s lightsaber across his midsection, barely avoiding contact. Obi-Wan?s own lightsaber was effectively stopped in it?s tracks, as was right in this situation. He had let his defense slip and had ultimately lost.

    Meeting the eyes of his opponent, Obi-Wan quickly straightened himself, deactivated his lightsaber, and executed a quick bow to his sparring partner. Obi-Wan was not at all surprised he had lost; his opponent was older and more experienced than he. However, Obi-Wan wasn?t satisfied with the way the match ended. They had been engaged in the duel for over 45 minutes, Obi-Wan having been capable of meeting and diverting every attack from his opponent. Yet, in the end, when it mattered the most, he had let his concentration slip and let down his guard. It wasn?t a mistake he often made any more, and the fact that he still made it from time to time annoyed Obi-Wan. He had thought that he had rid himself of that particular flaw in his fighting style?apparently not.

    ?Don?t think of it as a flaw, Padawan,? his opponent told him, anticipating the direction of Obi-Wan?s thoughts. ?Think of it as something to work on in future spars. There?s no shame in admitting that you still have things you can learn. If you didn?t, you would be a Knight already. Now tell me, do you feel you are ready to become a Knight??

    ?No, Master,? Obi-Wan admitted truthfully.

    ?Nor is it necessary for you to feel so,? his partner said. ?Each individual is different in their own aspects, and there is no reason to feel shame if you feel yourself unprepared for the life of a Knight right now. Not that you couldn?t do it if you had to, because I know you could. However, every Jedi is here to make sure that, when the time comes, you can perform your duties as a Jedi Knight with assurances in your own abilities.?

    ?I understand, Master,? Obi-Wan responded. Then, lightening the mood a little, he added, ?Besides, if I were to become a Knight tomorrow, what would
  2. Luna_Nightshade Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jan 25, 2006
    star 5
    Welcome, new fanfiction writer! [:D]

    Might I suggest visiting the Creche, where people new to the fanfic world can find help through a Master?

    This has very well-written action, and it is highly entertaining. I enjoyed it quite a bit.

    Just to let you know, though--if your piece is from before TPM, it would go in the "Before the Saga" forum.

    Keep up the good work, though! (and it is good work! :))
  3. arbed Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2004
    star 5
    This story has piqued my interest, Ultimate. It has an interesting enough beginning. I am very curious as to how this will develop and what this mission is. I hope there is some angst and further play between Quiggy and Obi. I really love that in stories as the movies passed up on so much intereplay between the two. I find fanfic fills in a lot of those missing gaps that I yearned for that Mr. Lucas didn't seem to think were as important. Please post the remaining links in the Ewan thread as you complete them.
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