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Saga Dissipate (Mace, AU)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Vivid_Scripts, Jul 30, 2008.

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  1. Vivid_Scripts

    Vivid_Scripts Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 21, 2004
    title: Dissipate
    Characters: Mace Windu, Depa Billaba
    Summary: a re-written scene from Shatterpoint and my entry to the Mace Windu Thread challenge:



    [i]Mace would grieve later. Now, looking at Depa's corpse he only felt a vague, melancholy relief that he hadn't had to kill her himself.

    She'd done most all of the work for him already. The hole to the transceiver room was nearly done. He could cut through the rest with a single stroke.

    [/i]Do you think there is anything about you I don't know?[i] Kar Vastor asked.

    "I think," Mace said, "that if you are all you claim, I'd already be dead."

    [/i]You are not yet my kill.[i]

    "No? Whose kill am I, then?"

    The answer to his question was a lightsaber's emitter jammed against his belly. [/i]Oh. Not dead. Faking.[i]

    Depa screamed and the green flame of her lightsaber burned through Mace's guts. It chewed a cauterized hole through him and speared out of his back. His hand instinctively gripped the hilt of her saber to ensure she couldn't slash the blade free and turn a grievous wound into a fatal one.

    His lightsaber floated to his hand but didn't quite trigger the blade. Could he strike her now? Now that he was close enough to kiss her? His Padawan--his child.

    He looked at the scar on her forehead where her Greater Mark of Illumination had once been. Scars lined her jaw. Her skin had taken to a pale, sickened hue. Her eyes were painted with the poisoned red-yellow taint of the dark side.

    An ice-cold chill traveled up his spine as hope began to drain from his heart. He couldn't recognize her anymore. She didn't radiate that familiar, calm aura through the Force. Instead, there was the spirit of spite that thirsted for his blood and the callousness of a killer that had plotted his murder a thousand times over.

    That ice-cold chill flooded him with despair when he realized that her fall to the dark side was complete.

    And as he realized this, he broke down. The most powerful of his Order, perhaps the strongest Jedi in the galaxy, was destroyed by the callousness of his own apprentice. An upholstery hammer had struck his shatterpoint. He was nothing but sand to be swept up and discarded by the winds of the Force.

    "Depa--?"

    His voice wavered as she snarled in response. How unusual. His voice never wavered. But he was so jilted, confused and hurt in that moment that nothing made sense. That daze felt like an eternity. In reality lasted only a moment. Somehow, he processed all of this without falling into tears. His beloved Padawan had betrayed him--turned her back on the entire Order and embraced the Dark Side.


    Yet all he could show to the woman who had been his daughter in so many ways was the same expression he'd shown to the countless evil beings he'd put down over the course of his long, storied career. Because he was Mace Windu, the scattered sands came together and the Corusca gem was whole and sharpened once again.

    Mace's thumb pushed Depa's away from the activator plate on her lightsaber. As the green blade shrank back into its emitter and vanished from Mace's body, she swung with her off-hand. He blocked with his, then propped up his foot between them and kicked her away.

    They both back flipped into the air and landed gracefully, their blades cutting backstrokes through the darkness of the bunker. Both warriors sank into the whirl of Vaapad and sprinted towards each other, casting violet and emerald hues over the darkened corners of the bunker. Lightsabers met with a thunderclap, then the two warriors became too fast for the eye to see.

    This was it: Vaapad turned against Vaapad. Mace used the style to deflect Depa's dark energy back at her. Depa did the same. The superconducting loop doubled back and fed itself, the intensity of the energy it carried subtly increasing with each unstable cycle.

    For every attack, the tempo increased. They continued on at this rate, the free-wheeling swipes increasing in speed and intensity until everything was little more than a blur of purple and green. They were moving so f
     
  2. RKMeibalane

    RKMeibalane Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2002
    Very nice. I loved the imagery your created, of twin storms raging against each other. Mace's ability to recognize the shatterpoints in other beings, places, and events, is the perfect counterpart to his aggressive fighting style. Whenever he draws on the energy of Vaapad, it appears as though he's about to lose control of himself, to be consumed by the very darkness that fuels his ability to fight. But his gift to see his opponent's shatterpoint may actually be what pulls him back from the brink, as he is able to remain focused on a specific objective, and utilize this focus to achieve victory.
     
  3. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005
    Very well done - well done, indeed.
     
  4. leia_naberrie

    leia_naberrie Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2002
    Wow. There is something so visceral about this. I love the way you describe the fights. It?s tricky to get that balance between the physicality and the spirituality of a lightsabre duel and you nailed it. Then there?s the characterization though action of Mace, the way he treads the thin line between Light and Dark with Vapaad reflecting the borderline pragmatism and yet deep rage with which he reacts to Depa?s death.


    If I ever need to write this guy, I certainly hope I can get you to look at my sure to be weak attempts. :D
     
  5. Katana_Geldar

    Katana_Geldar Jedi Grand Master star 8

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2003
    Great stuff, Vivid, some how I think it was better to kill Depa off than to leave her as she was.
     
  6. Teresa

    Teresa Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 9, 2007
    Poor Mace! And yet, perhaps he knew within himself that the Depa he taught and trained would have wanted him to stop her from doing any more harm. But I feel so sorry for him during this, it reminds me of the fight between Obi-Wan and Vader on Mustafar. Thanks for this glimpse into Mace! :D
     
  7. 92SE-R

    92SE-R Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 15, 2005
    Wow... =D= =D= very well written. Very easy to visualize and feel the depth of the duel. Amazing!
     
  8. mujapple-juicey

    mujapple-juicey Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 21, 2008
    :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
    And...
    :_| :_| :_| :_| :_|
    And...
    =D= =D= =D= =D= =D=

    That was AMAZING!
    AWESOME EMOTIONS!
    Now I feel REALLY inferior and humble.

    tapping fish
    who doesn't shut up when ordered
     
  9. Vivid_Scripts

    Vivid_Scripts Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 21, 2004
    some replies--

    RKMeibalane - Thank you, I'm glad you liked the way I set up the fight =)

    Mace's ability to recognize the shatterpoints in other beings, places, and events, is the perfect counterpart to his aggressive fighting style.

    I know, and that's why I think he's such a dynamic character

    Whenever he draws on the energy of Vaapad, it appears as though he's about to lose control of himself, to be consumed by the very darkness that fuels his ability to fight. But his gift to see his opponent's shatterpoint may actually be what pulls him back from the brink

    it's a combination of that and a lifetime of ingrained Jedi discipline. His ability to come so close to the dark side--close enough to touch it and use it--without succumbing to it is what makes him one of the most powerful Jedi, and one of the only Jedi that probably could beat Palpatine.
    I think that Mace, not Yoda, is Palpatine's foil and it would be interesting to see/write a fic that explores that dichotomy. That perspective also fits perfectly into Mace's fall in RotS.

    as he is able to remain focused on a specific objective, and utilize this focus to achieve victory

    and that's the reason why Mace fell in RotS--he was so focused on Palpatine that he didn't pay enough attention to Anakin.

    thanks for reading =)

    Valairy_Scot - =) thanks for reading, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    leia_naberrie- I love the way you describe the fights. It?s tricky to get that balance between the physicality and the spirituality of a lightsabre duel and you nailed it.

    Thanks! Though I'm not sure what you mean by physicality and spirituality, but I will say that I always have trouble balancing specific description and general description in fights. I always ask myself, 'much of the scene are we going to put into a blow-by-blow commentary and how much am I going to fill with sweeping descriptions?' And beyond those two types of descriptions, there are the character's feelings and emotions that get peppered in to help pace the action.

    Then there?s the characterization though action of Mace, the way he treads the thin line between Light and Dark with Vapaad reflecting the borderline pragmatism and yet deep rage with which he reacts to Depa?s death.

    Yes, as Teresa said, its a parallel to Obi-Wan being forced to kill Anakin on Mustafar.

    If I ever need to write this guy, I certainly hope I can get you to look at my sure to be weak attempts.

    You sure can XD. Though I would hardly consider myself a "Mace expert". I think I'm good at writing my own version of Mace.

    I'm glad you enjoyed this vig =)

    Katana_Geldar - I strongly agree. After Depa goes into the coma, we never hear from her again and that's a rather weak way to end her story =/

    Teresa - Poor Mace! And yet, perhaps he knew within himself that the Depa he taught and trained would have wanted him to stop her from doing any more harm. But I feel so sorry for him during this, it reminds me of the fight between Obi-Wan and Vader on Mustafar.

    That's a very good comparison, I like it. I'm glad you liked this one-post =)

    92SE-R & mujapple-juicey - thanks a bunch guys.
     
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