Saga Distant (Vader vignette)

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Title: Distant

Rating: G, maybe PG.

Summary: Vader at Padme's death.

A/N: Sequel to the story Done, which is from Padme's point of view. Reading that isn't necessary to understanding this, though it may be helpful and I'd sure like it. But this story does standalone. Also, LP, I'm working on the other one. I know you beta-ed it so quickly, but I'm just . . . Sorry!

Feedback: Please.


On to the fic. My apologies - its kind of weird, but hopefullly good all the same!


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There is something strange about being in this life-supporting armor. I feel disconnected, as if the world outside my mind is not real. I think that my connection to the Living Force, which I once believed to be stronger than my former master?s ? Obi-Wan ? has failed me, in my turn to the Dark Side, in my discovery of my power. I?m not sure why that is so, but I feel it is true all the same.

Rarely did I feel I was connected to anything. My only connection to that distant, unreachable world of life was my wife. Padme Amidala Skywalker. It didn?t matter that I could not smell the sweet perfume that she exuded, that I could not see her with my own eyes. I could feel the beat of her heart within my soul. She was not simply my life, she was life.

It is hard to describe to you what it was like when I came upon my Padme, dying. My Master?s forces, his spies built through years of careful planning and disguise, told me where she was. Naboo. If I was the joy of her heart, Naboo was the joy of her spirit. I told myself not to be surprised, but somehow I was. After my duel with Obi-Wan that had ended so disastrously, she had stayed with me. Palpatine?s spies had watched her carefully, but I had been sure that she would be with me, would support me, and that Palpatine?s suspicions that she kept something from me were false.

Then she left.

Forces loyal yet to decayed Republic smuggled her out without my knowledge, perhaps ? probably ? under the command of a Jedi. She had only been with me for weeks, during my recovery and shortly after. Every night, I had gone to her and let myself absorb her presence. Feel the beat of her heart close to mine.

When she left, I was frantic. I called the Dark Side to myself, trying to search for her. It?s power is beyond imagining, capable of anything. But I failed, my skills inadequate. I kept my fury and rage, and buried it within myself. Every once of hatred and anger can be used. I will one day bend the Dark Side to my will, and be a Master.

My weakness is pathetic.

My Master, Palpatine, deigned to give me access to his intelligence network. And so I came to Naboo, my wife?s home. I didn?t come alone. Imperial ships and troops marched across pristine Naboo lands. The Gunguns ran into their forests and lakes, evading capture temporarily. It was strange to see such Imperial forces, in their stark military form, within the beautiful grace of Naboo. But such things are necessary. The galaxy must be brought to true order.

I went to Padme?s parent?s home, but I knew even before entering that she was not present. I demanded to know where she was, and to my surprise, they told me. With the looks of vicious hate in their eyes ? those familiar brown eyes ? I had thought that they would not. I took no notice, then, of the dried tracks of tears, the sorrowful hush that had seemed to have fallen over the household. I did not even ask why she was not with her family.

I went to the meadow. I remembered it, of course. For there, we had truly known each other for the first time. I have always known that I loved her. Always. But in that moment on that day, those years ago, she realized our destiny. It was not a softening in her eyes, but a firm confidence that came out of knowledge. Later, her doubts ? her dedication to her duty ? came to the

 

*bursts into tears*

"She was here, I could hold her. That meant she was here, I thought."

Wonderful articulation of that very fundamental denial of loss. He's very child-like in this moment, and it reminds me of him holding his mother and trying to tell her she would be fine even as he feels her dying.

 

Poor lil' Vader! *sniffle* That was so good and so sad! *sniffles again*

 

Wow.

Where did I ever get a girlfriend who is so talented and gifted??? Oba, darling, that was just amazing.

Amazing.

A brilliant characterisation of Vader, to be sure. In face, just brilliance.

*hugs*

 

Very lovely. I was close to tears.

 

If I was the joy of her heart, Naboo was the joy of her spirit.

In what amazing part of your cerebellum do you produce this wonderful phraseology, obaona? What a sad, beautiful tale!

(Burkie, you kill me! )

 

Enigma_X: Thank you. The odd thing is, while writing this story that part was the main thing I had in mind. I was thinking about the death of my pet years ago, when I was pretty young (younger ) and this story popped into my head. Strange the way these things go, hmm?

crystalrain: Thank you. Even if it made you give me 's.

Burkie: Thank you!

Darth_Fruitcake: Thank you. And that's a real accomplishment for me, that I was able to write something that makes the reader feel for the characters.

LadyPadme: You're the doctor, you tell me! And thank you. I just kind of thought of it - I had to say something about Naboo, I figured - and then I later realized that it's pretty true. Padme is very loyal, and really feels for her people. And Burkie wanted to know why he was killing you.

On a yet more random note, I'd just like to say something. Really, I just love all you guys (or gals ). *hugs* You're the best! Can't articulate why, even writer that I am ( ) but you are.

 

wow

what a beautiful, touching story, Oba! I read 'Done' about a week ago and had actually been wondering what Vader must have felt at Padme's death, did you read my mind? ?

 

Mystic_Ally: No, I didn't read your mind. I have my friends reading my mind, you see, so I wouldn't do that to someone else! And thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed Done and this story.

 

I just think Burkie is very sweet with all his support for you...not that you don't deserve a ton of applause for all the wonderful viggies you write. It's just adorable. That's all I meant.

 

*hugs oba* Another wonderful vignette, dear. Seriously, you're so good at getting into the heads of all of the characters. This was really a phenomenal bit of insight into Vader's thoughts and feelings. Beautifully done.

 

LadyPadme: Oh, okay. Yes, isn't he adorable?

Gabri_Jade: What can I say except thanks? And thanks for not thinking its weird, which it kinda is!

 

Oba?? C'mere you!

*cuddles Oba*

 

Upping randomly.

 

That was a very touching portrayal! Very well done!

--later--

 

Oh, oba!!!

*cries*

That was so touching and beautiful!

*huggies*


Very, very nice! *is sniffing*

 

Darth_Leia_6669: Thank you.

Kryste: *huggies* Thank you. Now, did you really cry?

Sorry . . . didn't realize there was responses.

 

Sniff sniff... For the first time I actually feel SORRY for Vader!!!!! It fits perfectly as sequel to Done, and it shows so well why in the world Anakin changed like that... I liked the thing with Padme not being his life, but life itself, shows how deeply he feels about her... so sad...

 

Just roaming the Saga pages, and this popped out at me.

I love first person viggies particuarly- what a pleasant surprise to find that was what you had done obaona.

I called the Dark Side to myself, trying to search for her. It?s power is beyond imagining, capable of anything. But I failed

It always comes down to our natural failings doesn't it? Only perfect beings can utilize a perfect power to its full potential. How ironic that the same idea is true of the darkside, not exactly a thing you want to describe as "perfect." I suppose that would mean you would have to be perfectly dark to achieve the most Interesting if you roll it around in your head a little.

Very nice.

-Rogue

 

Bobilll: Sorry for Vader, or sorry for Anakin? It's hard to make the distinction, sometimes. I've always thought Anakin/Vader felt very deeply - I think that was part of his trouble. He felt deeply, and he couldn't control it. Just a random musing on my part, though. Thank you.

ROGUE_49: I also like first person stories in particular. I don't always write in it, because it doesn't always suit the story, but I like to if I can.

That's a very interesting idea you had, by the way. I hadn't thought of it in quite those terms, but you're right. Actually, it's kind of disturbing. The more evil you are, the more totally dark you are, the more you can achieve with the Dark Side.

Actually, come to think of it, what does that make Yoda? Light - super light? Nevermind the odd musings of my lil' brain.

Thank you.