Divided we fall. A sorta JA fanfic.

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Jedi Gryph Grin, Jan 13, 2000.

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  1. HealerLeona Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2000
    star 4
    Quite the surprise when the wookie turned out to be a friend, but I should have expected the unexpected with Rela.

    You keep mentioning being almost done and it's making me sad. I hope you'll have another story, a sequel perhaps.
  2. mouse2 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 1999
    star 4
    WOO! HOO!

    That was soooo COOOOOOLLLLL!!!!!!!!

    cool.gif cool.gif

    Post more! NOW! Or I will make you watch Mini-Mouse after you fed her all that candy!
  3. Jedi Gryph Grin Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 1999
    star 4
    Next post is in the works, I had an unbelieveably nasty day at work, so I'm running a bit behind.

    Thanks for the enthusiasm Kit'.

    Jane Jinn, the 'memories' part touched me too, alas, it's not 100% mine, I read something similar in a book and modified it to fit in here. Thanks though.

    And HealerLeona, a sequel? Hmmmmmm...

    Fear not, a new post will be here soon. Thanks for all of your support.
  4. mouse2 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 1999
    star 4
    upity up up upity up!
  5. Jedi Gryph Grin Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 1999
    star 4
    Just sending this back up so it doesn't dribble off the edge of page 4.

    Post is almost finished, I'll have it up soon.
  6. Kit' Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Oct 30, 1999
    star 5
    More soon Gryph, please.

    Kithera
  7. Jedi Gryph Grin Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 1999
    star 4
    Sorry for the delay, my brain seems to have stopped working. *sigh* Here's a short bit.

    ********

    The sun was sinking slowly past the distant horizon as Qui Gon and Obi Wan stood on a high balcony along with Countess Neila gazing upwards at the approaching ships that glided through the air in a corkscrew pattern, coming in to land on the tarmac before the city gates. There were easily a hundred airborne ships visible, the proximity beacons on their tail fins blinking fitfully amid the slowly emerging stars of the early evening.

    ?A beautiful sight, don?t you think?? the Countess commented, her gaze still following the graceful paths of the descending ships, ?but I guess this sort of thing is pretty common to you.?

    ?The beginning of a new future is never a common thing,? Qui Gon answered in a deep, soothing voice, ?and I think you?ve began a good one here.?

    The three of them, standing on the balcony of one of the tallest towers of the city continued to watch the downward spiraling pattern of the approaching spacecraft. Neila occasionally murmured aloud with appreciation of the airborne maneuvers, while Obi Wan and his Master scanned the multitude of ships with their minds, trying to find some hint of presence from their fellow Jedi.

    ?Master,? Obi Wan commented quietly to Qui Gon, ?I can feel nothing of their presence. Do you think Master Charsa and Kason may have not...?

    ?Patience, Obi Wan,? Qui Gon interrupted his padawan in mid-sentence, ?there are too many distraught life forms within the arriving ships to sort all of the life signatures out. Emotions and fear are running rampant among the refugees of Llakret. For the meantime, we must wait.?

    ?Am I to understand that you had ?friends? present on Llakret?? Neila asked, one of her eyebrows arched elegantly in suspicious inquiry, ?could they have possibly caused this situation. It certainly sounds like a rather convenient plan to take control of both the moon Llakret and Osiris at the same time.?

    ?I assure you Madame,? Qui Gon replied with a slight chill in the tone of his voice, ?we Jedi do not seek personal gain. We are protectors and peacekeepers, nothing more.?

    Neila raised her hands before her with palms up, and smiled slightly, ?I believe you Master Jedi,? she said softly, ?I only ask the question because I am sure the subject will come up again when the Congress next meets. I must warn you that there will be questions asked that may not be comfortable, especially about the young woman who attacked Lemur using one of your weapons.? She sighed softly, and looked again at the spacecraft that were spiraling in to land on her once isolated planet, then returned her gaze to Qui Gon?s, ?most of us despised Lemur, and hated his tyrannical ways. But, there are some among the Council who became very rich because of his reign, they will be the ones who challenge you...and those of us who believe in this new beginning.?

    ?I understand,? Qui Gon replied, ?we will be wary. My thanks for your warning, Obi Wan and I will be especially vigilant...?

    ?Master!? Obi Wan interrupted with a shout, his voice filled with joy as he pointed at one of the uppermost of the ships in the procession, ?there it is!! They must be okay!?

    Qui Gon?s gaze followed the direction indicated by his padawan. Indeed, in the high reaches of the atmosphere of Osiris he saw the unmistakable scarlet colored needle-like bulk of a courier vessel. Is it ours though?, he thought as he tried to scan it for any familiar presence, too far away and too much interference to tell for sure.


  8. Alli-Wan Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Dec 21, 1999
    star 3
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Geneva,Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jedi Gryph Grin:
    Sorry for the delay, my brain seems to have stopped working.

    Happened to me years ago.

    Sorry, I've been lurking. Too much to do. Your story continues to be excellent. The depiction of Charsa and Kason was excellent, in both life and death. Awaiting more, but will be sad when the tale ends. --AWK
  9. Bastet Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    I love this story!
    I'll hate to see it end, it's been most excellent.
  10. Flip A Coin Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Feb 17, 2000
    star 1
    Well, its like they say.....
    "All good things must come to an end"
    ...I suppose. Meanwhile.....
    POST!!!
  11. HealerLeona Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2000
    star 4
    Like others I dread for the end of this wonderful story but I just have to ask for another post, please.
  12. Jedi Gryph Grin Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 1999
    star 4
    Awwww, now you folks are making me feel sad. But don't worry, it's going to take me a bit longer than I thought to tie up some loose ends as far as the story goes. So, here's some more, and thanks for the comments.

    ********

    {Looks from here as if the message was genuine}, Hrruggla grunted softly to Rela, who was staring intently at the data screen in front of her, {I?m interested to see what kind of reception we?ll get when we touch down}.

    ?I could easily go all day without finding that out,? Rela replied, momentarily taking her eyes from her screen where she was monitoring the distance between them and the ship in front of them, ?I?m still trying to figure out how to fade away gracefully after we land.?

    {After all you?ve been through, you mean to desert your friends back there?} The Wookie?s thumb jabbed over her shoulder indicating their two passengers ensconced in the ship?s tiny med bay, {not to mention leaving me alone to try to explain their condition, as well as why I?m piloting a republic courier vessel that doesn?t even belong to me!} Hrruggla?s expressive brown eyes were full of concern as she imagined the probable outcome of being stuck in such a situation.

    ?No, you?re right,? Rela responded with a grimace and turned her gaze back to the data screen, ?we?ve got to get Kason and Mermil taken care of first. With their presence I don?t think we?ll be questioned too much about the ship. But what worries me even more is the all too real possibility of running into Qui Gon while we?re there.?

    {The two of you have always been close friends}, Hrruggla stated a little too loudly in surprise, {did something happen between you to change that?} The concern in the Wookie?s eyes caused Rela to feel a momentary surge of guilt.

    ?No, no,? she replied hurriedly, ?nothing like that! It?s just that...well...you see...He really probably doesn?t expect me to be anywhere else except Coruscant just now.?

    Hrruggla?s dark shaggy eyebrows rose and arched questioningly, {and why would he think that?}

    ?Weeeeeeelll...I guess because that?s kinda what I told him,? Rela answered, a sheepish grin hovering about her lips.

    {Kinda?!?}

    ?Ok, fine, so I told him I?d be on Coruscant,? Rela exclaimed, throwing her hands up in exasperation, ?but classes haven?t started yet, and I figured that some time spent out here on the rim could be considered research...kinda.?

    {My, my}, Hrruggla whuffed in soft laughter, {you do like to use that word don?t you?}

    ?It has its uses,? Rela sniffed haughtily, her eyes dancing with suppressed mirth.

    Both of them snapped their attention back to the ship?s controls when one of the proximity alarms began shrieking a warning. The vessel in front of them had deviated significantly from the flight path that had been ordered by the landing officials and was now creating a hazard for several other craft in the procession by lurching it?s bulk back and forth with no apparent regard for the other refugee ships.

    Hrruggla?s furry hands danced nimbly across the piloting console as she tried to direct the courier vessel on a course that would avoid collision with the other ship. She slammed one hand brutally on the communications switch, denting the console slightly and bringing the transmitter online. {Watch your descent path, you slobbering nerf herder!} she roared into the microphone, her eyes blazing with barely controlled fury, {wait in line like the rest of us!}

    The Wookie?s hands continued in their dance manipulating the ship?s controls and Rela suddenly heard the front thrusters fire at maximum power, causing the ship to shudder in protest as its forward momentum was virtually eliminated.

    Rela?s heart seemed to leap up into her throat as the courier vessel suddenly dropped like a stone through the surrounding atmosphere of the planet and she shrieked uncontrollably, ?Hrruggla, what are you...? Her cry went unfinished as she was slammed violently backwards in her seat when the main rear engines came to life with a bone shattering roar and the ship leapt forward.

    Responding to the Wookie?s expe
  13. Flip A Coin Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Feb 17, 2000
    star 1
    ooooh! I DO hope Rela runs into Qui-Gon down on Osiris!

    Yikes!
    I hope that dosen't sound too evil !
  14. mouse2 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 1999
    star 4
    This is so cool Gryph! I can't wait to see what happens next. I love what you're doing with Rela.

    [shamless promotion]If you like Rela, check out my story Promises Kept.[/shamless promotion]
  15. Jedi Gryph Grin Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 1999
    star 4
    YIKES!! The forum seems to have suddenly gone into overdrive! So many new stories and authors, it's difficult to keep them all sorted out.

    My new goal is to have story posts made every other day, I have the next one almost ready. Thanks for reading.
  16. Kit' Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Oct 30, 1999
    star 5
    Please Gryph, Can I've some more.

    Oooo Oooo and small question....What happened to Kithera after..well, after we saw her last? Stupid Question but I just had to know.

    Kithera
  17. Jane Jinn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    I can understand Rela's reluctance to meet up with Qui-Gon in these less-than-favourable circumstances, but isn't that asking an awful lot of her, to "try to blend into the crowd"? Just kidding! I can't wait to see if she can pull it off. Also, I want to read more about Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon and, yes, Kithera too!
  18. Jedi Gryph Grin Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 1999
    star 4
    Ok, the Alli-Wan award for iffy-ness goes to this post. Not much action or suspense in this segment, but it serves to get me to a point where there will be some. And we'll be revisiting Kithera soon. As always, comments are welcome.

    ********

    Qui Gon and Obi Wan walked side by side as they followed Countess Neila through the crowded streets on their way to the huge city gates and the now planetbound courier ship waiting beyond.

    Something must be wrong with the ships communications system, Qui Gon thought to himself, carefully shielding his feelings of anxiety from his padawan, Charsa is a major stickler for full updates whenever anything noteworthy occurs.

    When they arrived at the gates and were able to view the landing field outside, all three were amazed at the chaos that ran wild among the refugee ships. Medical teams were seemingly everywhere treating the injured as effectively as possible for the meantime and were evidently arranging transport to the med facilities for those who would require further attention to their injuries.

    Obi Wan focused his attention back and forth among the injured who were waiting for their turn at treatment, searching for the familiar faces of the Jedi who had begun this mission with he and his Master. His search so far yielded nothing, but he continued to keep an eye on the assembled beings awaiting medical attention...just in case.

    Qui Gon caught the merest glimpse of the courier vessel perched on the far edge of the bustling landing field. Finding himself unable to endure this leisurely pace, he strode forward briskly and replaced the Countess as the leader of the small group. The refugees that crowded the tarmac surface shrank back from his imposing form and scowling expression, providing a clear path to his destination.

    They arrived at the red tinged ship to find it with its engines completely shut down and the main hatch locked tight. There was no activity whatsoever around it, which was suspicious enough for Obi Wan to keep his hand near the hilt of his light saber. Qui Gon stalked up to the entryway and punched a code into the access panel, the door immediately irised open and he stepped into the dimly illuminated interior while Obi Wan and Neila waited outside in the early evening twilight.

    Several tense minutes later Qui Gon reappeared at the entryway, exited the craft and closed the portal behind him and returned to stand with his padawan and the Countess. ?Obviously this is our ship since my access code worked, but there is no one on board and all non-essential systems are powered down,? he told them with a grave note in his voice, ?there are a number of travel packs lying about as if whoever was on board didn?t take the time to carry their belongings with them. Unfortunately, I didn?t recognize any of the packs, and there was no owner identification on any of them.?

    Obi Wan had noticed the slight gleam of worry in his Master?s eyes as he delivered the last statement and thought quickly of how he might ease Qui Gon?s concern. ?Master,? he said, trying to keep the tone of his voice light, ?you said yourself that there is too much raw emotion flying around right now to be able to sense Master Charsa or Kason. Let?s give it some time and see what happens.?

    A soft chime from Neila?s silver wristband stalled Qui Gon?s reply and the two Jedi watched without comment as the Countess lifted her left wrist to her ear and listened to the muted message delivered by the communicator. Several times during the brief interlude Qui Gon and Obi Wan could sense flashes of surprise and curiosity through the force from the Countess as she listened to whatever she was receiving. The message evidently ended quickly because she lowered her arm and turned to gaze directly at the two Jedi before her.

    ?Interesting news,? she said slowly, as if she were choosing her next words carefully, ?that was a med technician letting me know that two injured passengers from this vessel have just been admitted to one of the medical centers. He said that one of them was a young man sim
  19. Alli-Wan Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Dec 21, 1999
    star 3
    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Geneva,Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jedi Gryph Grin:
    Ok, the Alli-Wan award for iffy-ness goes to this post.

    LOL (alot).

    Your post was excellent as per usual. If nothing else, I will be remembered for spreading anxiety and self-doubt throughout the JC!

    What would the Alli-Wan Iffy-ness Award Be? A Giant Bronzed Nerve (perhaps from a squid?)

    Keep up the good work! Looking forward to more. --AWK, QOI
  20. HealerLeona Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2000
    star 4
    Not iffy at all.

    A post every other day? Oh joy
  21. mouse2 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 1999
    star 4
    Excellent Gryph!

    I wish you would post again tonight. I don't think that I can wait until Sat. to read your next post.

    POST!!!!
  22. Geoff Morton Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 18, 1998
    star 2
  23. mouse2 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 1999
    star 4
    VROOM...

    to the top!
  24. Jedi Gryph Grin Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 1999
    star 4
    Thanks for the input everyone, it is much appreciated. Here's some more, I hope you like it.

    ********

    The med tech Jonn-Vek arrived before any of the three felt the stirrings of impatience. Qui Gon was the first to catch sight of the middle-aged technician walking toward them from the far end of the foyer. The man had a guileless, open face with laugh lines around his eyes and mouth, all topped off by a thinning shock of graying brown hair.

    ?Greetings Countess,? he said in a subdued yet distinct voice, ?how may I be of service to you and your companions?? He eyed the two Jedi warily, his unease around outworlders was painfully apparent.

    ?We seek information,? Neila replied, consciously pitching her voice to be as soothing as possible, ?you contacted me earlier concerning the arrival of Vicetta Mermil and an injured outworlder. You said that someone had accompanied them at the time and told you who the Vicetta was.?

    ?I may have oversimplified things in the telling Countess,? Jonn-Vek coughed slightly and his face took on an embarrassed look, ?when I arrived on the scene, one of the emergency volunteers had already taken charge of the two patients. When I asked her if they were accompanied by any one she just pointed at two figures walking in the other direction. I called out to them, but I doubt they could hear me...what with all the pandemonium taking place, and they just faded into the crowd.?

    ?What did they look like?? Obi Wan blurted out, losing his patience momentarily, ?were you able to see them well enough??

    ?Well,? Jonn-Vek replied, ?like I said, things were pretty crazy at that point so I didn?t get a really good look. But one of them was tall...very tall and was covered in shaggy fur. The other was a young woman, though I wasn?t able to see her face.?

    ?Perhaps we could talk to the volunteer who was there?? Qui Gon suggested in a tone of voice that indicated it was not a question.

    ?I wish you could,? Jonn-Vek replied sincerely, ?but I don?t know who she was, I?d never met her before.? He shrugged to indicate his helplessness.

    ?Could we possibly visit our comrade?? Qui Gon asked, his frustration obvious in the tone of his voice, ?I?d like to make sure it really is him, not to mention checking on his condition.?

    ?Now that I can do,? Jonn-Vek said, relieved that he could offer some help after all, ?if you will follow me...? He turned and led them to an archway that opened into a corridor behind the reception area.

    ?We have them in the security ward for the meantime,? the med tech said over his shoulder as he led the way down a hallway that reeked of antiseptic, ?because of the Vicetta?s importance, and the mystery your ?comrade? presented, we thought it best to keep them apart from the other patients.?

    ?A wise precaution,? Qui Gon replied gruffly as the technician stopped and opened a door on their right. The room they entered held ten beds, five to each side, but only the two closest to the door were occupied. In the first was a man Qui Gon had never seen before, though even without prior acquaintance Qui Gon could tell that this man had experienced some rough times in the recent past.

    ?Vicetta Mermil,? Countess Neila murmured to the still and silent figure lying before her, ?we meet at long last.? She turned her attention from the unconscious form and looked at Jonn-Vek, ?he looks like he?s been dragged face down through all nine hells. What is his condition??

    ?He is stable, Countess,? the med tech replied, ?he has a rather nasty blaster burn on his side, and a serious concussion. But I am confident that he will recover...with time.?

    Qui Gon and Obi Wan walked to the next bed and stared down at its occupant. Short, spiky blond hair atop a young face that was much too pale, padawan braid lying listless and frayed on the white hospital pillow. Crisp, white linen sheets that came very close to matching the chalky pallor of the young man?s skin covered the rest of his body.

    ?Kason,? Qui Gon breathed in dismay, ?what has happened to you?? His gaze was drawn to the dark circles under th
  25. HealerLeona Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2000
    star 4
    Oh oh, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan hiding in the dark ship, waiting to jump out and say 'surprise'. Very cool cool.gif
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