Story [Doctor Who/Crossovers] The Drabbles of Doom - 4/30: Zodin's Song

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  1. Drabbi-Wan_Kenobi Jedi Master

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    Around this time, there was a TV movie based on Brave New World; I think Leonard Nimoy was in it. I'd never read the book -- still haven't -- but one aspect of the movie did give me a couple ideas. Rather than choose one, I wrote both. Since they're variations on a theme, I may as well post them together.



    Title: Randy New World
    Doctor: Sixth
    Crossover with: Brave New World
    Originally Posted: 20 April, 1998


    Peri moaned. "Just once, I'd like to go somewhere where men weren't hitting on me constantly."

    "It's not as bad as that," the Doctor said.

    "In all our travels, the only two who haven't are you and Sil."

    "Really?"

    Peri nodded.

    "Fine, next stop, no one will 'hit on' you. I promise."

    * * *

    Peri looked up at the imposing skyscrapers and flashing message boards. "Where are we?" she asked.

    "Earth, well into your future."

    "Doctor, what's Soma? I..." Peri paused. "Oh no."

    "What?"

    "'Promiscuity is everyone's duty'?" She turned and saw a queue of over twenty men form within seconds. "Doctor!"


    * * * * * * * * * *

    Title: Randy New World Revisited
    Doctor: Seventh
    Crossover with: Brave New World
    Originally Posted: 20 April, 1998


    "This is a very dangerous time period, Bernice," the Doctor warned.

    "We've been in dangerous places before," Benny said.

    "Not danger like this." He pointed at a message board with his umbrella.

    "Why? What's Soma? Some kind of narcotic?"

    "No, the sign below that."

    "'Promiscuity is everyone's duty.' Oh."

    The Doctor handed her a tranquiliser gun. "Take this."

    "Is this to fight off the men?" Benny asked.

    The Doctor chuckled. "No, you'll be safe from them in the TARDIS."

    "Then why the tranq gun?"

    "I want you to keep Ace in there as well."

    "With nothing but a tranq gun?"
  2. Drabbi-Wan_Kenobi Jedi Master

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    Title: Sleigh Bells Ring, Are You Listening?
    Originally Posted: 23 April, 1998


    The Doctor was sorting through his cat pins when the noise distracted him. "Sleigh bells? Who's ringing sleigh bells?" He ran into the corridor, but it seemed to be coming from everywhere.

    * * *

    Mel was doing squats in the console room when he arrived. "What is that noise?" he demanded.

    "What, the bells?"

    "Yes, the bells!"

    "You know that room with the dreary stones and vines?"

    "The Cloister Room?"

    "And that sad old bell?"

    "Yes!"

    "I replaced it. These sound so much happier."

    "Happier? It's not supposed to sound happy! It's supposed to warn of extreme peril!" His eyes widened. "Mel!"
  3. Drabbi-Wan_Kenobi Jedi Master

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    Title: New Game
    Originally Posted: 23 April, 1998


    "Doctor, I'm back."

    "Fenric. I'll get the chessboard."

    "Not this time."

    "What, then?"

    "Cluedo."

    * * *

    "Colonel Mustard in the Conservatory with the Candlestick."

    Fenric hissed. "Right. New game."

    "I've already won three..."

    "Monopoly."

    * * *

    Fenric moved his thimble. "Darn."

    "Hmm, Mayfair, with a hotel. You owe... more than you have. I win."

    "New game."

    * * *

    "Gin. Again."

    "New game."

    * * *

    The Doctor cheered. "Nothing but net! That's game."

    "No. One more. Cricket."

    "Can't. Need teams."

    "Umm..."

    "Wait. I have an idea." The Doctor left.

    * * *

    The Doctor returned. "Fenric, meet Toymaker. Toymaker, Fenric. You two should get along well. You're even the same age, nearly."
  4. Drabbi-Wan_Kenobi Jedi Master

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    Title: Morton Hears a Who
    Doctor: First
    Originally Posted: 8 May, 1998


    "Hmm, we're back on Earth," the Doctor said.

    Dodo rushed outside, then stopped. "Steven?"

    The man furled his brow, then laughed. "I think y'all're gettin' me confused with someone else. Name's Morton Dill. Are you with that there blue box?"

    Just then, the Doctor emerged. "If'n that don't beat all!" Morton shouted. "I remember you! You're that Hollywood director guy I met in New York City!"

    "Excuse me?"

    "Y'know, at the Empire State Building? You were makin' that movie with the weird robots? Never did see it. Golly, a Hollywood movie right here! Just so's y'all know, it's 1968 here."
  5. Drabbi-Wan_Kenobi Jedi Master

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    Title: Jilting the Groom
    Doctor: Eighth
    Originally Posted: 18 May, 1998


    Peri groaned. How had her life come to this? Where was... She was startled by a familiar wheezing.

    "Doctor!" she yelled. "Where have..." The man who emerged from the TARDIS wasn't the Doctor she knew. He looked young, like the Time Lord she first met.

    "Sorry I'm late. Peri, this is Sam."

    "Hi," Sam said.

    Peri frowned. "'Bout time you came."

    "I was told you were happy."

    "They lied. Let's go." She pushed past into the TARDIS.

    * * *

    "You redecorated."

    "Yes. I must apologise again. The Time Lords... Oh no."

    "What?"

    "Where's..."

    * * *

    "Samantha Jones, you are a feisty wench!" Yrcanos bellowed.
  6. Drabbi-Wan_Kenobi Jedi Master

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    Title: Eye of the Storm
    Setting: After the '96 TV movie
    Originally Posted: 18 May, 1998


    This was it, the Master thought. The end. Before, he'd always had an escape plan, an out. Well, that wasn't exactly true; sometimes, most really, his plans were foiled, and only outside intervention saved him. Though how someone could stop him getting vapourised in the centre of the Eye of Harmony was beyond him.

    * * *

    The Master inhaled sharply. He was alive, lying on barren, rocky ground. He realised where he was and screamed.

    "Who dares intrude on my domain?"

    The Master stared at the figure. "I thought you..."

    "Dead? No, part of me remains forever here," Omega declared, "with you."
  7. Drabbi-Wan_Kenobi Jedi Master

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    I think this should be okay.

    Title: Oooo, Doctor
    Doctor: Sixth
    Originally Posted: 26 May, 1998


    The Doctor scanned the controls; the TARDIS was on course, but it never hurt to make sure.

    "Oooo, Doctor," a breathy female voice said behind him.

    The Doctor spun around. "Tegan? How? I left..."

    He was silenced by her finger against his lips as her body pressed against his. "I had to come back, Doctor. Oh, you're so much handsomer than your last regeneration. So much more virile. And I love this coat!" She cooed girlishly and rubbed his lapels.

    "Tegan, I..." The Doctor sniffed the air. "Wait a minute. I smell fish. Frobisher, how did you get Tegan's form?"
  8. Drabbi-Wan_Kenobi Jedi Master

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    star 4
    Back in the '90s, there was a straight-to-video movie with the Sontarans taking over a ship on its shakedown cruise. One day, I was thinking about the title and came to a different interpretation.


    Title: Shakedown: Return of the Sontarans
    Originally Posted: 29 May, 1998


    Jim made sure he was alone, then entered his personal identification number. He started to withdraw thirty dollars.

    "You want to withdraw the maximum," a low voice rasped.

    "Do I?" Jim asked without turning around.

    He felt something in the centre of his back. "Yes."

    Jim obeyed. A brown, mottled hand with only three fingers reached past him and grabbed the cash. Jim turned around and saw two short men in quilted armour.

    "Today, you have contributed to the fight against the Rutan host," one of them said. "Tomorrow, you will feel the need to contribute again. Am I clear?"
  9. Drabbi-Wan_Kenobi Jedi Master

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    Title: Iceberg Lettuce
    Doctor: Seventh
    Originally Posted: 29 May, 1998


    "Americans!" Ace harrumphed as she raced her trolley down the aisles. "They can't call anything by its proper name!"

    "Still upset over the almonds in your Mars bar?" the Doctor asked from his perch in the trolley's seat.

    "Right, Professor."

    She veered into the frozen foods aisle and paused. "There's something in the freezers." She opened the door and surprised two Cybermen.

    "Hello, shopper," one said.

    "What are you doing in there?" the Doctor demanded.

    "We're restocking the frozen peas."

    "Come out here."

    "We can't. Our cooling units were damaged."

    "Doctor," Ace whispered.

    "Doctor? Oh please, don't get us fired."
  10. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

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    [face_laugh] Cute!! I also really liked the Teagan impersonation one :D
  11. Drabbi-Wan_Kenobi Jedi Master

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    Title: Zed? Why Zed?
    Crossover: Men in Black
    Originally Posted: 1 June, 1998


    "Hey, J?"

    J looked up. "Yes, O?"

    "Zed and K want to see you."

    * * *

    "O said you wanted to see me?"

    "Yes," Zed began.

    "Why Zed?" J interrupted.

    "What?" K asked.

    "We're all given letters, right? So then why..."

    "In England, the last letter of the alphabet is called 'zed'," K explained.

    "But this is the United States, where it's 'zee'."

    K sighed. "Should we tell him?"

    * * *

    "And you are?" the man in the scarf asked.

    "Hank Hardaway, sir."

    "Then you'll be... H." He stepped down the line. "What's your name?"

    "Zachariah Hooper."

    "You're... Zed."

    "Don't you mean Zee, Doctor?"
  12. Drabbi-Wan_Kenobi Jedi Master

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    Title: The Penultimate Foe
    Setting: Late in "Trial of a Time Lord"
    Originally Posted: 1 June, 1998


    "The Valeyard's the distillation of my dark side?" the Doctor screamed.

    "Yes," the Master's image explained. "Of course, he was the second attempt."

    "Second?" the Inquisitor asked.

    "Woohoowoohoowoohoo!" A bizarre, varicoloured mass bounced off one wall, then another, then landed in front of the Doctor. He was tall and thin and wore tights which somehow matched the Doctor's coat.

    "It's your distilled wackiness," the Master said.

    The Wackiness pulled two spoons from thin air and banged them together. "Fifteen men on a dead man's chest. Do you think that was the pirate version of stuffing uni students in phone booths?"
  13. Drabbi-Wan_Kenobi Jedi Master

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    Title: A Special Report
    Crossover: Flash Gordon
    Originally Posted: 5 June, 1998


    "We interrupt Dad's Army to bring you the following live report," the announcer said.

    Benton moaned.

    "Hush," the Brigadier said.

    "Word continues to pour in about the recent extraterrestrial menace and the..."

    "What?" the Brigadier screamed. "How did they learn about this? Yates, Benton, find out and..."

    A plane sat on the tarmac of an American aeroport. "Here comes the hero of the hour."

    The Brigadier paused. "Hero? Benton, where's the Doctor?"

    A man emerged from the plane. A woman held him tight, and a scientist and winged man stood beside him.

    Benton laughed. "It's the American footballer, Flash Gordon."
  14. Drabbi-Wan_Kenobi Jedi Master

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    This one kinda works as a sequel to "Jilting the Groom" above.


    Title: Coming Home
    Crossover: Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
    Originally Posted: 5 June, 1998


    It had taken long enough, but Peri was finally home: San Dimas, California.

    "Hey, Pergamillian!"

    Peri sighed. Bill and Ted had been freshmen when she was a senior, and maybe even after.

    "Where ya been?" Ted asked.

    "Yeah, dudette, we haven't seen you around," Bill added.

    "You wouldn't believe me."

    "Try us!"

    Peri laughed. "I've been travelling through time in a police box."

    "A what?"

    "A phone booth."

    Bill and Ted mocked guitar playing. "Excellent! So have we!"

    * * *

    "Some time machine! It's not even bigger inside than out. Now move aside and let me... What are..."

    The time machine vanished.
  15. Drabbi-Wan_Kenobi Jedi Master

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    This one's always been a personal favorite. [face_devil]

    Title: Of Snakes and Spiders
    Setting: Immediately after "Snakedance"
    Originally Posted: 5 June, 1998


    "It's over?" Tegan asked.

    "Yes," the Doctor said. "The Mara's gone. Unless, of course, you had children while back on Earth."

    "Umm..."

    * * *

    "I'm pregnant?" Tegan gasped.

    "I think so, but there's a membrane around it," the physician explained.

    "Membrane?"

    "It looks almost like an egg."

    * * *

    The biologist handled the sphere. "Not avian or reptile," he pronounced. "If not for the size, I'd say insect, maybe spider."

    * * *

    "It hatched, and I had a beautiful, apparently normal daughter. She's with my family in Australia."

    "Spider?" the Doctor asked.

    "Yes."

    "Adric's people were descended from spiders, but... Oh, Tegan!"

    Nyssa laughed. "You too?"
  16. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

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    Eeeeew, kinda gross. Spider kid.
  17. Drabbi-Wan_Kenobi Jedi Master

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    Normal kid, just a bit spidery. Usually, the response is more like, "Eew, Adric."


    Title: Roses Are Red, Roses Are Blue...
    Crossover: Cartoon Planet
    Originally Posted: 6 July, 1998


    "Doctor!" Peri screamed. "I can't move right!"

    "Of course not! We're stuck in a series of standard poses, like cheap animation."

    "Why?"

    "We've landed on..."

    "Hey there, Doctorooni!"

    The Doctor grinned. "Brak! This is Peri."

    "Hey, Periririri. Look at me; I'm as helpless as a squirrel up a tree."

    Peri screamed again. "Doctor, the cartoon's hitting on me!"

    "Am not. So Doctor, can I go with you in your wooshing TARDIS? Woosh! Woosh! Woosh!"

    "Brak..."

    "Woosh! Woosh! Woosh!"

    "BRAK!" the Doctor bellowed, shattering windows. "I can't. You aren't drawn for it."

    "Oh, okay. Then can I have a ham sandwich?"
  18. Drabbi-Wan_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
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    star 4
    Title: You Hear Me?
    Doctor: Third
    Originally Posted: 10 July, 1998


    The Doctor considered the problem. "Okay, Jo, I need a spanner, some cheddar cheese, three feet of electrical tape, eighteen toothpicks, the Sunday Times, a tyre iron, and a tureen of chicken soup."

    "Couldn't we just..."

    "No time to argue!"

    Jo gathered the items. The Doctor assembled a bizarre device, then used his gold pen to stir the soup. "Oh, I need to reverse the polarity of the noodle flow," he said, and stirred in the opposite direction. "Brigadier, can you hear me?"

    * * *

    Fifteen miles away, the Brigadier sighed. "Can it wait, Doctor? I'm on the phone with Miss Grant."
  19. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

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    [face_laugh] These aer both cute, especially the cartoon one :) Ham sandwich . . .
  20. Drabbi-Wan_Kenobi Jedi Master

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    Thanks. Brak is... always fun to write. Here's another Third Doctor piece, this one a historical.


    Title: I May Be Some Time
    Doctor: Third
    Originally Posted: 18 July, 1998


    "I'm cold," Jo complained.

    The Doctor shushed her. "There's Scott's camp. Soon he'll emerge."

    "Scott?"

    "Captain Oates! Frostbitten and near death, he sacrifices himself for his comrades."

    A man strolled into the cold, whistling.

    "Near death, Doctor?"

    "Hmm." The Doctor approached. "Captain Oates?"

    "Who are you?" the man asked.

    "We're here to see your noble sacrifice," Jo said.

    The man looked at her oddly. "My what?"

    "Haven't you come out here to die?" the Doctor asked.

    Oates held up a bog roll. "Nope."

    The Doctor considered, then knocked Oates unconscious. "Jo, you grab his legs. We're taking him with us."
  21. Drabbi-Wan_Kenobi Jedi Master

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    Title: Xylophone and Recorder
    Doctor: Second
    Originally Posted: 21 July, 1998


    The TARDIS materialised. The Master grinned and put on his mask. This plan was brilliantly simple.

    The door opened. "Someone call for me?" It was an earlier Doctor, but that didn't matter.

    "Yes, Doctor. I need someone to accompany me on 'Those Endearing Young Charms'." He gestured toward a xylophone.

    "Of course." The Doctor pulled out his recorder and began playing.

    He wasn't following the plan, the Master thought. "No, it must be on the xylophone."

    "I don't know how."

    The Master harrumphed. "It's easy." He started playing, reminding himself to stop before...

    The xylophone exploded in his face. "Ouch."
  22. Drabbi-Wan_Kenobi Jedi Master

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    Title: Time Lord Mindy
    Crossover: Animaniacs
    Originally Posted: 25 July, 1998


    "Doctor," Borusa said, "I want you to watch my granddaughter Mindy."

    The seemingly elderly Doctor looked at the girl. "Yes, of course," he giggled.

    Shortly after Borusa departed, Mindy wandered away. The Doctor gave chase and found Mindy sitting under a hoisted crate of musical instruments. The Doctor pushed her aside as the box fell....

    * * *

    Later...

    Again short, the Doctor found Mindy playing on a cliff. He ran forward, tripped, and fell over the side. He opened his umbrella, but it folded up, and he plummeted.

    The new, young Doctor scooped up Mindy. "Gotcha!"

    "Doctor!" Borusa screamed.

    Mindy giggled. "Itsokayloveyabybye!"
  23. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

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  24. Drabbi-Wan_Kenobi Jedi Master

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    Oddly, though the Mindy and Buttons segments were among the ones I liked least, the first two A! drabbles I did were both variations of them. Anyway, another crossover.

    Title: Bumber-Shot
    Crossover: The Avengers
    Doctor: Seventh
    Originally Posted: 15 September, 1998


    Steed and the short man in the odd jumper reached the desk at about the same moment. The attendant handed each man a hat and brolly, then returned to her office. Steed donned his bowler, then raised an eyebrow at the other item he'd been given.

    "Excuse me, sir. We seem to have the wrong umbrellas."

    "Of course." The man handed Steed his brolly, and Steed gave him the colourful umbrella. "This isn't mine. In fact... Oh no." He dropped it and hid under the desk as a large man in a varicoloured jacket strode toward them.

    "Unhand my umbrella!"
  25. Drabbi-Wan_Kenobi Jedi Master

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    Title: A Ring of Truth
    Doctor: Fourth
    Originally Posted: 15 September, 1998


    Leela ducked and drew her knife as small objects flew at her from the room she was passing. She quickly rolled into the room, then stopped. The Doctor was kneeling in front of a large wooden chest that seemed to have engulfed his top half. The objects were flying from this, as were a string of alien invectives.

    "Doctor?"

    "Yes?"

    "What are you doing?"

    "I'm looking for a ring I used to wear during my first regeneration." He sat up suddenly. "Leela, you're a genius!"

    * * *

    Jo eyed the tall man warily. "Can I help you?"

    "I want my ring back."
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