Story (Doctor Who) Escape. Fic gifr for Juliet316. Posted on 12/30/2009

A little gift for Juliet316. She wanted....

Ten and Donna have to escape from this fanatical religious planet. In Nun habits; both of them.

Season Four but Turn Left/The Stolen Earth/Journey's End never happened. Bonus points if the TARDIS lands in the TORCHWOOD hub and Jack peeks into the TARDIS while Donna and Ten are still in the nun habits. And Jack teases the Doctor mercilessly.

Even more bonus points if Ianto give Ten and Donna blackmail material at the end.

The song Jack sings near the end is of course by Right Said Fred. And Father Ted is a real British sitcom.

Here we go!

*****
It was another day for the residents of Ceti Zeta IX, home of the Sisters of Perpetual Dowdiness. They awoke, dressed, prayed for the lost souls of the galaxy, harangued them for their choices, maintained their planetwide places of holy worship and then went back to bed.

Two of these nuns moved about the catacombs, heads bowed and shrouded. The one in front held a torch up as they walked through the ancient stone passages, occasionally passing a skeleton in chains or a door leading to another passage. The one in back kept his or her head tucked down and gripped the leader's robes like a lifeline.

Another pair of nuns approached from the opposite direction. ?Oh, sisters!? the lead one called out, waving at them. ?Have you found the outsiders?? the elderly woman asked. Her companion, a younger humanoid with antennae, nodded along with her.

The lead one's head shot up... revealing the Tenth incarnation of the Doctor. The Doctor flashed a wide smile and his eyes darted about a bit. ?Oh, those two!' he said in a falsetto voice. He shook his head, grabbing onto his hood and holding it against the bobbing motions. ?Well, my friend and I were so distressed by their garments we simply had to retreat down here,? he finished, faking a shudder.

The old nun nodded and patted the Doctor on the shoulder. ?I understand. I mean, that redhead and her...? She abruptly leaned in and virtually spat out, ?ankle flashing! Can you believe she exposed her ankles??

The Doctor's mouth formed a small 'O' of surprise. ?No!?

The nun nodded. ?Yes, yes.? She leaned to her side and looked to the one in back. ?Are you sure she's all right?? she asked, pointing at her as she shrank away. ?Did she see the ankles??

The Doctor looked back at the shrouded nun and nodded. ?Oh, yes. Saw the ankles, which is why I'm taking her down here.? He motioned to the gray walls and the torches. ?Something to soothe her mind from that... heathen ankle flasher!?

The older nun nodded. ?I see.? She looked to the shrouded nun and smiled. ?Don't worry, dearie. We'll catch those two!? She shook her bony fist at the air. ?And when we do...?

The Doctor held up a hand. ?Oh, yes. Peace be with you, sister!? he said, hurrying off. He took a corner and speed-walked down another corridor before stopping. ?I think we're almost there,? he said, looking over his shoulder.

The shrouded nun pulled her hood back, revealing a snarling Donna Noble. ?Well, about damned time!? she hissed out. She straightened and waved her arms about. ?Can you believe this place? It's like out of some damned bad sitcom!? She motioned to her legs. ?And I had on socks, for the record!?

The Doctor held one finger up to his mouth and shushed at her while trying to cover Donna's mouth with his other hand. ?All right, all right!? half-shouted. ?I know and you know, but I don't think they care.? He looked around and breathed in. ?The old girl's around here, close by.? He started walking off, then turned and looked back at Donna. ?Well, come on! Unless you'd like to stay here and end up a decoration.?

Donna followed. Her upper lip curled slightly. ?This is almost a bad parody of a Father Ted episode.?

The Doctor shook his head. ?Can't be.?

?And why not??

The Doctor strode through another door, arriving in a small room dominated by a large blue police call box. He hiked up his nun's robes and pulled out the small key to the TARDIS. ?No vicars around,? he said. He flipped the fa

ROFLMAO! That was great. Thanks!