Discussion in 'Non Star Wars Fan Fiction' started by Frostfyre, Apr 26, 2009.
"I can even say it in fist."
An irritated, pregnant Zoe.
I'm seriously enjoying this.
Chapter Four: Trouble and Rain
Hearts are worn in these dark ages
You're not alone in this story's pages
The light has fallen amongst the living and the dying
And I'll try to hold it in, I'll try to hold it in...
?Sarah McLachlan, ?World?s On Fire?
Mal?s fingertips were numb. He stopped drumming his fingers on the crate he was sitting on and wrapped them around his suspenders instead, avoiding Simon?s glare. He shouldn?t be worried, not yet. Zoe was more?n capable of looking after her own self, and the little albatross wasn?t exactly helpless. No call to be worried that they were a few minutes late...
?They?re late.? Simon?s voice was flat.
Mal sighed. Boy never stopped fussing over his sister. It was sweet, in an annoying, make-the-captain-miserable sort of way. Problem was, when the doctor started fussin? the only thing to shut him up was usually a fist to the jaw. Which made Kaylee all sorts of upset, and Mal always felt like ten kinds of huen dahn, upsettin? little Kaylee. Mal carefully ignored the little voice in his head that pointed out that he was worried, too. Wasn?t anything new; he worried about Zoe all the time. And everyone else. ?They?re shopping,? he said. ?Two women, out shopping?can?t expect them to be back in any sort of time.?
?Zoe hates shopping, and I?m not real sure shopping enters into River?s plane of existence.?
?You don?t know Zoe half as well as I do. You?ve never seen that woman in a gun shop. ?Sides, women get all kinds of strange when they?re pregnant. She?s probably lingerin? over booties or some such frill. And I?ll have you know, I had to bodily drag your sister out of a dress shop, last time we were planetside.?
Simon scowled, but didn?t argue.
?Don?t see why we gotta sit around waitin? for ?em,? grumbled Jayne. The big mercenary slouched down Serenity?s ramp. ?Plenty of things to do.?
?You ain?t going out and getting drunk,? Mal said. ?I don?t much feel like pouring you into your bunk this trip. You get the supplies stowed? I don?t want to be trippin? over stuff.?
?It?s stowed.? Jayne propped his shoulders against Serenity?s hull. ?Everythin? we might need to steal an alien.? His voice dripped with sarcasm. ?You sure you didn?t stop by a bar on your way t?see Badger??
Mal sighed. ?It?s a job. You want payin?, don?t you??
?I had a job all lined up,? said Jayne, sulkily.
?Yeah, well, transportin? whores to the border planets ain?t exactly what I?d call a job, Jayne.?
?Transported plenty of other things. Don?t know why it?s a problem, seein? as we already got a?? Jayne swallowed the rest of his sentence, eyeing Mal?s darkening face warily. The mercenary cleared his throat. ?Anyway. Don?t see why it?d be a fuss.?
?Most of those lookin? to hire the transport don?t exactly deal in willin? whores.? Mal rubbed his jaw. ?And we don?t do slave tradin?. Don?t care how good the coin is.?
?You get prissy about the weirdest damn things, Mal,? grumbled Jayne.
?Everyone needs a hobby.? Mal said absently, watching Simon uneasily. The young doctor?s scowl was growing steadily darker. Another minute, and he?d start in again with the fussin.? Wasn?t shy about it, not anymore. Seemed to think that it didn?t matter what he said, Mal wouldn?t throw him off the ship.
Mal wondered when, exactly, Simon had gotten so gorram good at reading him.
?You stocked up on medical supplies?? he asked, before Simon could speak.
The younger man stared at him levelly. ?You asked me that half an hour ago. It?s not going to work, Mal. I want to go find my sister.?
?Your sister could take on the entire population of this city and not break a sweat. She?s fine.?
?You don?t know that.?
?Da shiong la se la ch?wohn tian! Boy, you fuss more?n my mama used to in calvin? season. They ain?t even an hour late yet.?
?You?re as worried as I am.?
?I?m the gorram captain!? Mal waved his arms. Jayne, still holding up the ship with his back, watched interestedly. ?It?s my job to worry all the time. You think I?m gonna let you wander off and get
Oh wow, if they're this bad already I can't wait to see when the baby is born. "Go to uncle Jayne now..." oh dear....
Poor Mal, the "tension" between these two during the series was bad enough, having to deal with Simon actually dating "little Kaylee" must be horrible for Mal. I do enjoy imagining what would happen should Simon break Kaylee's heart though. Who do you think would get there first; Mal, Jayne, Zoe or Inara? lol
Great stuff Frostfyre
Wise man. He knows which fights just can't possibly be won.
I just love this bit.
I notice we didn't get translations this time...
Sorry 'bout that - I forgot. I have the translations at the ends of my document chapters.
Here are the ones for this post:
Huen Dahn: Jerk
Da shiong la se la ch?wohn tian: Explosive diarrhea of an elephant
Ma fuhn: Trouble
Please forgive the delay; I'm in the process of moving, which I will be doing twice this summer. Rest assured, however, that this story will not, under any circumstances, be abandoned.
The bar Kaylee?d referred to was a couple miles from where Serenity sat in dock. Mal had fond memories of it. Best brawl he?d hand in years, last U-day?even better than on that little moon colony he, Zoe (and a complaining Jayne) had torn up the year before that. It was a memory that was gonna have to last him; he figured he didn?t dare turn up in an Alliance friendly bar come this year?s U-day. Might prove too big a temptation for the feds lookin? to pay him back for Miranda.
Zoe herself was a couple of blocks from the bar, at the mouth of an alley. She had her ?there?s crazy lo suh going down but I ain?t gonna comment? face on. She leaned against the wall at the alley?s mouth, one hand resting on her belly, the other supporting her hogleg in the crook of her arm.
Mal set the brake on the mule and hopped down. ?Trouble?? He pulled off his coat and tossed it on the seat. ?Stay here, Jayne.? Jayne grumbled a protest, but did as ordered.
?Not sure about that, sir.? Zoe?s face remained set, but she jerked a thumb over her shoulder, toward the alley. ?Take a look.?
Mal frowned. He knew Zoe better than most anybody in the ?verse. Her view of things, it was trouble or it wasn?t. No in-betweens, no ?not sures.? He let his fingers slide down to rest on the butt of his pistol, and stepped around Zoe into the alley.
River stood a little further down, watching a skinny man in a long brown coat fuss around a blue wooden shed. She shot Mal a little smile as he approached, then turned her attention back to the stranger.
?What?s the story, darlin??? Mal asked softly, leaning one hand on the wall behind River. The other he kept near his gun.
The skinny man straightened abruptly, a brilliant grin creasing his face when he spotted the newcomer. ?Hello,? he said cheerily. ?I?m the Doctor. You must be Captain Reynolds.?
Mal eyed the man over, and felt a speck of uneasy curl through him. Couldn?t figure why, exactly, but something about this fellow didn?t set quite right. ?Doctor, huh?? He raised his eyebrows and looked down at River, hoping for some clarifying. She didn?t look at him, but kept her attention focused on the other man. ?Got one of those already, and while I can?t say I ain?t beholden to him, boy?s a load of trouble all on his own.? He squinted at the stranger. ?You got a name to go with the ?Doctor? part??
The smile went crooked. ?Not really. Just ?the Doctor.? Saves a lot of fuss and bother, and it?s really the most useful conversation starter. Nearly everyone wants to know ?Doctor who?? It never gets old.? His smile didn?t waver, but the look in his eye told Mal he wasn?t going to get any further answers on the subject?not right now, anyway.
?All right, then, ?Doctor??what are you doin? upsettin? my second in command?? Mal pushed off the wall to hook his thumbs into his belt, making sure the other man got a clear view of the pistol on his hip. To his credit, the Doctor did not so much as glance at the weapon.
The man?s narrow features scrunched up. ?Upsetting?? he demanded indignantly. ?I did no such thing?well, all right, not on purpose, anyway. Your first mate?Zoe, isn?t it??was kind enough to help me out of a tight spot. Last thing I?d want to do is upset her! If anyone should be upset, it?s me?I?m the one who got punched in the face!?
Mal glanced over his shoulder at Zoe. ?You do that??
?Wasn?t me, sir. Thought about it, though.?
?He talks a lot,? River explained, ignoring the Doctor?s offended huff.
Mal grunted his agreement. Hadn?t known the man two minutes and he felt like his ear was gettin? talked off. ?Who did the hitting, then? I?m guessin? it wasn?t you, either, little albatross, ?cause he wouldn?t be standing if?? He broke off, remembering the nearby bar. ?Oh, don?t tell me?you wore that big brown coat into
You had me worried for a bit there... Wondering when I'd get my next fix.
I think Doctor and Mal are gonna have something of an interesting relationship...
Can't wait to see how the rest of the crew react to him, should be very interesting.
Keep up the good work.
Have I mentioned lately that I love this fic? You portray the Doctor so very well, in all his different moods.
This isn't dead is it? Cause you've done a frankly magnificent job of getting me hooked on this story. I'm currently sitting at my PC shaking with withdrawal symptoms...
More soon please
No, it isn't dead, Frosty just got out of school, moved in with her parents to help them finish making their home livable, is doing an internship, and working a part-time job. She's a bit short on free-time at the moment.
Well in that case Frosty, take your time. Just sling us a PM when you find some time to put up a post.
Also, the only computer available to me at the moment with internet access is my father's notebook...which I usually can't wrestle away from him in the evenings. And it's got Vista, which means it can't read my story files, which were all done in WordPerfect instead of Word. If I get a moment, I'll try to save some Word versions, but it may all wait until my own compy has the internet again...and the local phone/internet company is being a right pain about it.
My parents live in an extremely rural area, so our choices are, well, limited in that arena. Hang in there folks, this story ain't dead, just delayed!
Interesting. Good handle on their voices.
I have internet again!!! Thank you all for your patience. As a reward, I am posting an entire chapter.
Chapter Five: Passenger
?The trials you are now facing
They are not greater than your will
For there is nothing under heaven
You cannot overcome
See the door that lies before you
And know this too shall pass.?
?The Cruxshadows, ?Eye of the Storm?
The Doctor watched, a little anxiously, as Malcolm Reynolds and the big mercenary called Jayne wrestled the TARDIS into place among the cargo in Serenity?s hold. It was silly to be worried, because it would take a great deal more than being dropped to damage his ship, but still...He was only grateful the captain hadn?t insisted on seeing inside the blue box before loading it. Malcolm Reynolds struck him as a supremely stubborn and mistrusting man, and the Doctor didn?t fancy going through the ?it?s bigger on the inside? round of explanations with a hostile human. Mal Reynolds looked just the sort to shoot someone if he felt it was necessary. Maybe even if it wasn?t. The Doctor had been shot before. He really, really hadn?t enjoyed it. (Especially the bit with the morgue and the shroud. And the toe tag. That had not been one of his finer moments. He still wondered sometimes how that poor orderly had explained things...)
Being around other people helped ease the ache, especially with the prospect of adventure before him. Only he kept turning to catch Rose?s reaction and delight in her wonder, or ask her thoughts on some thing or other, and instead found empty space where she ought to be.
He missed her terribly.
That was good. Pain was good. (Ha. Someday he might actually believe that.) She was still alive, still fighting. Just...not with him.
?Box of yours should be secure enough.? The captain?s voice broke into the Doctor?s thoughts. Grateful for the distraction, he smiled at the other man?s approach. ?Seems sturdy enough.?
?Thank you, Captain,? said the Doctor, genuinely grateful. ?That box is very important to me.? Ignoring the odd look Mal gave him he hurtled on. ?Now, where did you say we were going??
?I didn?t.? Mal hooked one hand into his belt, pushing the other back through his hair. ?We?re headed to Paquin. Got a job there.?
?Oh, right, Paquin. Of course. Lovely place,? said the Doctor, who had never heard of Paquin in his life. ?Of course, any place is better than this, uh, hole.? He waved a hand at the colorful crowds pressing past Serenity. Actually, he found it fascinating. If he just knew where he was, he?d be even happier.
Mal snorted. ?Persephone ain?t exactly paradise, but I ain?t rightly sure Paquin?s much better. It?s supposed to have the best sunsets in the ?verse?but that don?t mean much when a carnie?s tryin? to cut your throat.?
The Doctor lifted his eyebrows. ?Carnie? You mean, as in carnival??
?Yeah, somethin? like that.? Mal squinted at a small squad of heavily armed men in dark body armor with bluish-purple highlights as they trotted past. The Doctor, glancing down, saw the other man?s hand had stray toward the pistol he wore strapped to his thigh. The squad disappeared into the crowd, and Mal relaxed noticeably.
The Doctor beamed. ?Oh, I love a carnival! Haven?t been to one?oh, not in years! I always liked those little?whaddya call ?em?those swirly fried thingys. With the powdered sugar on top.?
Mal blinked. ?You mean funnel cakes??
?Yes! Funnel cakes. Very nearly as amazing as those edible ball bearings.? Oh dear. The captain was giving him the ?you?re absolutely nutters, but I?m going to humor you because I?m a reasonably civilized person? look. Perhaps it was time to tone it back a bit. Another reason to miss Rose; she was so good at jabbing him when he got too wound up or too rude or too distracted. ?Ah...so when do we leave??
The captain consulted a battered pocket watch he pulled from somewhere inside his coat. (Brown, the Doctor noted, and made a mental note to find out w
Yay! I love the crew interactions, they're all dead on. And I always love the Doctor.
I noticed one small thing...
The Doctor, glancing down, saw the other man?s hand had stray toward the pistol he wore strapped to his thigh.
As your beta reader, mea culpa for not catching it before.
YES!!! You came back
I keep editing scenes from Dr Who into the Firefly scene where we get our first look at Persephone, in my head of course. I can actually see this playing out.
Once again, great characterisations Frostfyre, can't wait to read more.
Thanks for hanging around and posting more. And a big thank you for the PM
Chapter Six: First Impressions
Well, I've roamed about this Earth
With just a suitcase in my hand,
And I've met some bug-eyed Joe's,
I've met the blessed, I've met the damned...
?Murray Gold, ?Love Don?t Roam?
The Doctor figured that if he could just bottle and distribute the aggressive cheerfulness that was Kaylee Frye, he might just have a shot at solving all the universe?s problems. Or, at the very least, making an ginormous fortune on the intergalactic drug market. Great stars, but she was a happy person. Rose would have absolutely loved her. The Doctor was rapidly developing an affection for her himself.
At the moment, she was lecturing him very earnestly on reasons why he should not take his ship to dockside repairmen.
?...though you never wanna trust dirtside mechanics. They can turn most anything into a ri shao gou shi bing, you give ?em half a chance. It?s a real pity we didn?t meet up earlier, I?d?a been happy to take a look at her for ya. What kinda ship did you say you fly??
?Ah...I didn?t, exactly.? Time to change the subject. If he could. This girl was seriously passionate about her ships. She?d probably adore the TARDIS, but now was not the time to open that can of mysteries. ?This is a beautiful ship. How long have you flown with her??
Kaylee beamed at him. Quickest way to her heart, the Doctor decided. Just compliment Serenity. He quite understood, as he was inclined to take a shine to anyone who said nice things about the TARDIS. ??Bout eight years now,? she said. ?This here?s the best ship in the ?verse.?
?I can believe it. What class is it again??
?I?ve never sailed in a Firefly,? said the Doctor.
?They?ll fly forever, you got even a half-decent mechanic,? Kaylee enthused. She drew herself up proudly. ?And I?m more?n half-decent.?
The Doctor reached out to run his fingers over a pipe. There was a rough beauty to her. Serenity wasn?t just a means of moving through space, she was a home. More than just good engineering kept her in the sky. He could feel love in every part of her, every rivet and joint. He hadn?t been on many ships that felt like this. His own was one of the few. ?Tell me, Kaylee?why is she called Serenity??
?Cap?n named her,? she said, watching the motion of his hands approvingly. ?After the Battle of Serenity Valley.?
The Doctor took a guess. ?He fought in the battle??
Kaylee nodded. ?Worst battle of the war.? Her bright little face clouded. ?Can?t imagine how awful it musta been, stuck there for six weeks with all the dead and wounded. Cap?n and Zoe never talk about it, but they was the only ones in their platoon to get out alive. Kept a buncha others alive, too, Browncoats and Alliance.?
?The captain was a ?browncoat? then??
Kaylee looked indignant. ??Course! Ain?t no way the Cap?n was Alliance!? She frowned at him. ?You?re wearin? a brown coat yourself, Doctor?and you?re old enough to have fought in the war. Weren?t you an Independent??
He gave her his most blinding smile. ?Oh, absolutely? he said, with perfect truth. He?d fought in a War, and he was most certainly independent. And plenty old enough, oh yes.
Her face relaxed. ?Oh, good. Cap?n don?t like them as supported Unification.? She tilted her head, grinning impishly, and added, ??cept maybe Inara.?
?Inara? Who?s that??
?That must be my cue,? said a mellow female voice. ?I?m Inara Serra.?
The Doctor turned, and just managed to keep his jaw from sagging. The woman standing in the engine room?s doorway was...well, she was simply stunning. Flawless skin, shining black hair, magnificent eyes. Wasn?t just outward beauty, either?to the Doctor?s perception, she radiated strength and compassion, kindness and humor and just enough darkness to keep things interesting.
?Wow,? he said. ?You are absolutely beautiful. Completely glorious.?
Behind him, Kaylee giggled.
?No, seriously,? said the Doctor, seriously, and winked at the girl over his shoulder. ?How did Captain Reynolds manage to get four gorge
Ah... this has made an otherwise miserable day much, much better. Thank you.
Love it, just love. And I swear I will think of something logical and coherent to say one of these days...
Really loved this exchange:
Simon folded his arms. ?All right. What kind of doctor are you, then??
?Oh, bit of this, bit of that.? He smiled brilliantly. ?Everything, really. Except advanced medicine and, possibly, aeronautics.?
?And what does that mean??
?I can?t fly. Really, I can?t.?
Eagerly awaiting your next installment,
great start, looking forward to the rest of the story
Just FYI, Frosty is moving next week, so she may be a little bit busy for the next couple of weeks.
Never really got into Firefly, but as a MASSIVE fan of Doctor Who I have to say that this is an absolutely fantastic bit of fanfiction. You've really caught ten's babble-serious-more babble nature perfectly. I eagerly await the next installment.
With the way the Doctor flies his ship after 900 years, yes, he REALLY can't fly.