Story [Doctor Who/The Simpsons] The Terror of Springfield 1/1

This was the first dedicated fanfic piece (as opposed to a shared-universe story crossing over with an established fandom) I ever wrote for the net, one afternoon in June of 1996.


Title: "The Terror of Springfield"
Fandoms: Doctor Who and The Simpsons
Timeframe: DW Season 17 (Fourth Doctor, Second Romana, K9) and Simpsons Season 7 (during "Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming")
Rating: G
Originally Posted: June 22, 1996



"Where'd the Randomizer bring us this time?" the Doctor asked as he entered the TARDIS Console Room.

Romana looked up from the control panel where she'd been working and peered at the next one over. "It looks like Earth again," she answered with a groan. "No, wait. It's even worse than that. It's America. The US." She grimaced openly.

The Doctor ignored her expression and moved toward the console. "What state?" he asked rhetorically. "Oh. I've heard bad things about that state. Well, let's see what's outside." He pushed a lever, and the shutter on the viewscreen opened.

The viewer showed a dark length of hallway with unpainted concrete walls and floor. The only light came from widely spaced fixtures hanging from the ceiling.

"We're in a bunker," Romana stated. "Or a subway station, maybe?"

"Negative, Mistress," a voice said from beneath the console. The two Time Lords looked down as their mechanical dog K9 rolled out into the open. "It is a military bunker. Recommend you look to the end of the passage."

The Doctor and Romana looked back at the viewer. Sure enough, there was a group of people milling around a door. Standing near a guarded door were four men. One was dressed in a conservative suit and another in high pants and suspenders, but the other two definitely piqued the Doctor's curiosity. One wore a bee costume, and the other was obviously a clown with a white face and red nose. "Well, Doctor," Romana said, "you'd fit in rather well with that group."

"You're right," the Doctor said. With a chuckle, he grabbed his hat from the hatstand and stuffed it in his pocket. "You two wait here while I find out what's going on." He pushed forward the lever for the door control and strode from the TARDIS. Romana watched on the viewscreen as he pushed the long end of his scarf back over his shoulder and struck up a conversation with the man in the bee costume.

A moment later, the guarded door opened, and the group was escorted out of the hallway by an obese man in a police uniform.

"K9, I'm going out," Romana said after the Doctor had disappeared from view. She strode toward the exit, then paused and turned around. "Are you coming?"

"Negative, Mistress. Doctor-Master said to remain in the TARDIS," the dog answered.

"Nonsense. I rescind the order. Come along." She left; after a moment's consideration, K9 followed. The doors closed behind him. "Excuse me, ma'am, but only the representatives are allowed past this point," the left guard told Romana as she stood by the door through which the Doctor had gone.

"But we're with..."

"Krusty the Clown. Yes, ma'am, but you still have to wait in the lounge with the others."

Romana opened her mouth to correct him, but decided against it. The guard on her right stepped forward and motioned her to turn around. She complied and allowed herself and K9 to be led back past the TARDIS to the other end of the hallway and through another door.

She found that she was in a waiting room. Along one wall was a row of chairs, several of them occupied. Along the opposite wall were vending machines offering soft drinks and snack foods. She turned around to discover that her escort had gone and that two more guards stood by this entrance to the hallway.

"Well, K9, let's have a seat, shall we?" She surveyed the assembled group, then sat between the small man with the big, frazzled hairdo and the man holding the giant flyswatter. She turned to the small man and held out her hand. "Hello, I'm Romana, and this is K9."

"I'm Sideshow Mel. I'm here with Krusty the Clown," he said