Saga Doing the Empire's Dirty Work - ESB - Stormtrooper P.O.V one post viggie

Title: Doing the Empire's Dirty Work

Timeframe: ESB

Genre: Vignette

Primary character: OC (stormtrooper) Secondary characters: Han, Leia, Darth Vader, Chewbacca, Lando, Boba Fett

Keywords: stormtroopers

Summary: The Han & Leia on Bespin segment of ESB, told from the point of view of Stormtrooper TK-1301...

Notes: This started as a piece in The Laboratory and I was encouraged to post it here as a viggie. It's been altered slightly from the Lab version.

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[b]DISCLAIMER[/b] The characters and setting of this fic are the creations & property of George Lucas. I am making no money out of this.

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One thing people never seem to remember is that us stormtroopers have feelings too. Do they think we like being told to do some of the things they make us do? What do they think we are, robots? I mean, yeah, maybe, it's a little irritating all looking exactly the same, but for hell's sake, you get used to it. And it does have a few advantages - but I wasn't going to talk about that, was I? No, I was talking about the job. Yeah, the job. Okay, it's a dirty job at times but, face it, someone has to do it. Just they wait. If their poor ickle Rebellion does manage to bring down the Empire, they'll have dirty work to do same as us Imps and I bet you anything they won't want to do it.

Although sometimes some of the work does get pretty damn dirty. I mean, take this job we had to do for Lord Vader a week or so back. It's all very well being in His Lordship's elite squad, but it's always - [i]always[/i] - us who run into these bloody Rebels. And because His Imperial Evilness is a stingy old git, the armour's about as much use as a speeder bike to a fish. One direct hit to the chest and you're cooked.

Anyway, this job. First we get sent to Bespin - I mean, [i]Bespin[/i], for hell's sake, it's right down at the tail end of the Rimma Trail, a gazillion parsecs from [i]anywhere[/i] - and then we have to pick up a couple of Rebels and use them as a [i]trap[/i]. Traps ain't nice, no sir. We may get slaughtered in a straight-out firefight, but - hell, the look on that little girl's face when she realized. Who is she, anyway? She was about half my height, for hell's sake, couldn't have been more than about seventeen. A bit older, maybe. A real stunner, too. Well, there was her, and some Wookiee - enough said, okay? - and some guy who must've been some kind of smuggler. I know the type - cocky as hell but soft underneath, and it was as plain as the nose on your face he's head over heels in love with the little lady and just doesn't want to show it.

So Lord Vader and that runt of a bounty hunter, whatsisname, Fett, turn up and start being their usual sweet-natured selves. Alright, they left the girl alone, only right I s'pose, but hell, I wouldn't've liked to be in that spacer's boots. What the hell had he done to deserve it? I mean, officially the scan grid's been made illegal. Illegal, my foot. And they didn't even ask the poor guy any questions. Like, why did they do it? I suppose His Lordship Vader thought it'd be fun.

Nasty, anyway, and that wasn't even the worst of it. First I have to see the look on the little lady's face when we shove Mr Cocky Smuggler back into the cell, and - ouch. If looks could kill. . . Then the Baron Administrator turns up. Turns out he was the one who'd sold his pals down the river in the first place. Now that is dirty. And the smuggler type takes a swing at him - I don't blame him, either - and we have to knock the poor guy out for it.

And [i]then[/i] Vader changes his mind about what to do with them, and decides Fett gets the crook after all. Solo, his name was. I remember now. I'm not surprised he had a bounty on his head, they usually do. I knew this small-time crook once who had the death sentence on him in twelve different systems. We finally picked that one up in a caff on Tatooine. Aw, don't remind me about Tatooine. This bloody armour may be useless at stopping blaster bolts and it's just as u

 

His Imperial Evilness , that's pretty much right, and Big Helmet , you know that's sort of funny.

Also I never really thought about what would have happened to Boba Fett had Han died. runt of a bounty hunter .

 

Thanks for posting this story here. I really enjoyed it! You don't see many fics from this POV. Very well done.

 

Read it in the Laboratory and liked it then....still like it. Great job. Again you've shown yourself a wonderful author....

 

Well done, and quite humourous too.

I liked the whole "Big Helmet", etc.

And that part about catching the guy on Tatooine who had the death sentence on twelve systems...that was the guy that Ben dis-armed in the cantina.

 

Thank you! *bows* I hoped people would like this - is it an original idea? ? Well, I had fun writing it and I'm glad you thought it was good.

tatooinewizard Kind of funny? Humour is not my strong point, so thanks.

TiaRaye Thanks for the Very well done.

dianethx

TorontoJediMaster As I said, humour is not my strong point and I'm glad I managed to pull it off... and yep, it was the guy Ben disarmed (literally) in the cantina.

Thanks for reading!

Nem

 

Great job! I thought it had some humor in it too. I love the Big Helmet thing. Reminded me of Spaceballs. Make way for Dark Helmet!

lordmaul13

 

Only thing wrong was that the stormtroopers didn't knock Han out when he took a swing at Lando. It was the guards from the Bespin security force.

I also like the part about "His Evilness", and how the armour is cheaply made.

 

Oh, yeah, Nem! I think it was Frank that knocked Han out!

 

Ah, dammit. I knew I'd got something wrong. Oh well.

Nem