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Saga Don't Hold Your Breath [Anakin Skywalker/Vader - angst]

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Tael, Sep 7, 2005.

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  1. Tael

    Tael Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2005
    Title: Don't Hold Your Breath
    Author: Tael
    Timeframe: RotS
    Characters: Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader
    Genre: angst
    Summary: Anakin Skywalker's last thoughts as he is being placed in the suit and before the helmet goes on.
    Notes: Thanks to my beta/Master, NYCitygurl! And um.. yeah. First fic here. See what you think of it.
    Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, they're George Lucas', I just borrow them once in a while. Song lyrics are by CKY, written by Deron Miller. Not mine either.
    Con Crit?: Sure. But as a PM, please. I can't get better if I don't know what I'm doing wrong! :)





    [i]You know what I think of them
    You sutured my wounds when I bled
    So what's to become of us
    The answer has yet to be seen
    As fate puts us side by side
    You'll find yourself drifting with me[/i]
    - CKY, "Don't Hold Your Breath"

    I have this aching feeling in my heart. Something is very wrong. I can feel it in the Force... she's calling for me. Screaming... I should be there. I should be. But I'm not.

    I did this for her... and it's all gone so wrong. I almost killed her. How could he claim to help me save her, if what I did instead is destroying her?

    Maybe it was all a bad idea. I turned my back on the very thing that gave me a reason to live, destroyed the very one I loved, and lost the closest thing I had to a father, for this? A black suit and the inability to breathe on my own?

    I fell in love with her too young... but was it wrong? I was so young then, she only five years older than me, but she was a dream to me. And now... the Force tells me... she is but a dream now. Her voice, once so beautiful, is being stilled as I even stop to think about her. I don't know who's by her side. I don't know what happened to my children - the Dark Side is already clouding too much. I can't see anymore.

    There's no reason for her to come here in this hell... death... I know what living death is... I'm being placed in a coffin, and I've been burnt from limb to limb. I've seen the depths of hell, and she... she should be freed from that. She should never have to face that. If there's one thing I could do, it would be to free her from that.

    I brought this upon myself... I know I shouldn't pity myself, but what else can I do? I'm lying on a table, getting prosthetics put on me. I'm being built into a robot, from flesh into gears. And once this procedure is over, there'll be nothing left of me.

    What can I do? I don't know what I am anymore. I'm not a person, just an empty shell.

    She's out there somewhere. I can feel it... she's in pain... I'm not sure why. Maybe she's miscarrying and it's hurting her. She's so far away....

    It was for her that I did this. But even I was proven wrong. It was not what I thought at all. Was it really worth the power for this?

    I can feel her fading now... She's disappearing slowly.... [i]the Dark Side clouds everything[/i]... Yoda was telling the truth. It really is clouding everything. I thought I understood how to use the Force... that was wrong, too.

    My skin... it stings. It hurts so much. You left me, Obi-Wan. How could you...? I was dying.... I still am... slowly... very slowly.... It aches... My lungs feel like they've collapsed... I can't breathe...

    Palpatine... is this what you wanted? Did you want to destroy me mentally... and then physically, so I'd do your bidding? Because you accomplished it. You and your trickery and lies... But I asked for this... I became your apprentice... I killed those children... they were defenseless and so innocent... like how my children could have been one day... my child... would she live?

    I could say this was my own fault.... it burns... it burns... They're putting this... suit on me... I don't know what it is. They work so fast...

    [i]There's still good in him.[/i] That's her voice... she's alive... barely, though. What's killing her? Is it me? Her breathing... it's getting ragged.

    Padmé, my love, don't hold your breath. Don't die with me. Live.

    [hr]
     
  2. bek

    bek Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2005
    I liked seeing Anakin's POV on the suit and what he had done. In ROTS when the mask was being lowered to be fastened into place, his eyes widened and I wondered what he was thinking. Right before the mask went on, it was almost as if he had resigned himself to that fate.

    Great job with getting into his head. :)
     
  3. VA_Parky

    VA_Parky Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 10, 2005
    :_|

    So good, but so sad. The last line was particularly haunting, devastatingly so. Wow, this was a powerful viggie!
     
  4. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2005
    Well done! =D= =D= =D= =D=

    I liked how Anakin could "feel" Padme fading away. Heartbreaking, but poignant

     
  5. widow_skywalker

    widow_skywalker Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 5, 2005
    Very sad....The horror of Vader and becoming him is often over looked in the joy we have in the character. Wonderful first viggie and nice use of CKY...[face_blush]
     
  6. sithhappens6

    sithhappens6 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2006
    Oh so good! Very sad, I really felt the emotion!
    :_|:)
     
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