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Before - Legends Don't let me fall (JA fic)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Shira_Adola, Sep 11, 2011.

  1. Shira_Adola

    Shira_Adola Jedi Padawan star 4

    Feb 15, 2011
    Title: Don't Let Me Fall
    By: Shira_Adola
    Category: JA, AU, Angst
    Rating: PG
    Spoilers: Maybe one tiny one, but nothing relavent
    Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to Lucas.
    Copywrite: Djara, Li'ohn, Nahl, and Bennett are my characters! Ask before using!
    Feedback: Yes please!
    Time Frame: Obi-Wan is almost 14

    Chapter 1: ?I?m going down, down in an earlier round? (Sugar, We?re Going Down, Fall Out Boy)

    ?He is lazy, rebellious, and slow to learn. I have done the best I can with the boy, but he refuses any help or advice I offer. I can no longer teach him.?

    ?Anything to say, have you, Obi-Wan Kenobi?? asked Jedi Master Yoda, his green face as unreadable as ever. Obi-Wan Kenobi stood stiffly in front of the Jedi Council, his eyes cast downward, looking at no one.

    ?No Master.? He voiced in a controlled way, barely above a whisper.

    Master Windu nodded. ?Thank you Master Nahl.?

    Nahl walked smartly out of the room,

    ?Initiate Kenobi, you may go.?

    Obi-Wan flinched at the term ?initiate?. He was no longer a Padawan. But maybe, he thought as he gave a slight bow and walked stiffly out of the room, that wasn?t such a bad thing. Maybe the hurting would stop. He winced as he stumbled and put weight onto his bad leg. He hurt all over. Perhaps it wouldn?t even be terrible to be sent to the Agri--

    His thoughts were brought to a halt as he tumbled to the ground. He gasped as he fell onto his back and screwed his eyes tight. A couple seconds later, when he wasn?t breathing in gasps, he stood up.

    ?I apologize for running into you. I wasn?t paying attention.? He stood still, waiting for the admonition he knew would come.

    ?That?s alright. I wasn?t paying attention either.? The male voice, low and rich with a hint of a lilting accent filled his ears. This was a voice he could listen to for an eternity. He quickly berated himself for the stupid thought. Master Li?ohn had been a Kantrian, a race known for their beautiful, musical voices. The voice of an angel that hid cruelty and false promises.

    Bringing himself back to the present, Obi-Wan hesitantly looked up at the man. A handsome face held a rueful smile that reached his deep green eyes. His long hair and beard were graying-brown. He realized with a start that it was Master Qui-Gon Jinn. He was a well known Jedi, both for his success in missions, and his rebellious streak.

    ?Are you alright?? Master Jinn, asked, placing a large hand on the boy?s shoulder. Obi-Wan flinched, and deftly moved from under the hand.

    ?Yes sir,? he lied. ?I?m sorry, I must be going.?
    ?Of course.? Qui-Gon replied as he moved aside. He watched the boy walk hurriedly down the hallway, frowning slightly. The boy had lied, that had been obvious. He had sensed fear, pain, and despair coming off him in waves. Yes the Force was extensive around this boy, despite the dead look in his posture and grey eyes. Shaking his head, Qui-Gon walked down the hallway. It wasn?t his business. He had told himself he wouldn?t get involved with another Initiate (Padawan, he corrected himself, remembering the braid behind the boy?s right ear) after his last disaster. It just wasn?t worth it.

    So why couldn?t he get the boy out of his mind?


    Obi-Wan walked away as quickly as he could with his protesting body. He had to retrieve his belongings and take them back to his new Initiate quarters. He hoped to the Force that his master (old master, he corrected himself) hadn?t returned to his quarters. He hesitated outside and breathed a sigh of relief as he sensed no Force signature inside the quarters. He quickly waked into his room, and grabbed his few spare belongings; a few tunics and breeches, his utility belt, his light saber, a necklace that had been his unknown mother?s and a small, weighted ball. As he packed the items into a small pack, he heard the door hiss open. He froze, barely controlled panic filling his mind.

    ?Kenobi.? The voice was deadly quiet, yet he heard it with stunning clarity. Forcing his legs to move, h walked warily to stand by this door. He knew from experience that try
  2. The1stJediPrincess

    The1stJediPrincess Jedi Knight star 2

    Sep 20, 2010
    It's a JA, so I know I'm hooked. [face_dancing] Well, don't stop there! Who is Master Nahl? Why did Obi-Wan's "master" repudiate him? :mad: What will the Council and Qui-Gon do when they find out? :eek: Will thy find out? [face_worried]

    Nice start. If you are doing PMs, add me to your list.

  3. obimom

    obimom Jedi Master star 4

    Oct 31, 2010
    Keep saying that Qui-Gon and maybe you'll believe it.

    Poor Obi-Wan (again)... another H/C story, but we love them... (so we can say "poor Obi-Wan" and wish we could be the ones comforting him...[face_love]

    So he had two cruel masters? It's time for him to find a caring Master (Qui-Gon anyone?);) who can help him heal...but why do I feel like it won't be an easy road for either of them.

    Good angsty start...looking forward to more!!
  4. Shira_Adola

    Shira_Adola Jedi Padawan star 4

    Feb 15, 2011
    *Sighs in frustration* lol, i'll address you two when i post the next chapter. it might take a while. i only have an hour on this computer, and this is kind of a long chapter. Thanks for reading!
  5. Shira_Adola

    Shira_Adola Jedi Padawan star 4

    Feb 15, 2011
    obimom: why do I feel like it won't be an easy road for either of them?
    Is it ever? XD

    The1stJediPrincess: Who is Master Nahl? Why did Obi-Wan's "master" repudiate him? What will the Council and Qui-Gon do when they find out? Will they find out?"
    *shakes head* questions, questions. all in good time ^^

    Alright, my dual reader's here's a relatively long post XD.


    Chapter 2: ?I am the patron saint of lost causes? (Anberlin, *Fin)

    Qui-Gon was interrupted from his morning meditation by the insistent ringing of his wall-comm. Sighing, he released his mild irritation into the Force and answered the call.


    ?Qui-Gon, Yoda requests our presence.? Mace?s voice reached him through the comm system.

    ?Both of us?? Qui-Gon let surprise color his voice. He could almost see his friend?s shrug as he replied.

    ?I don?t know, but he wants us in the Healer?s Bay right away. He says it?s urgent.?

    Qui-Gon?s confusion grew. The Healer?s? Why there of all places?

    ?I?ll be there momentarily.? he replied, and closed the connection. Questions were turning in his mind as he strode out of his quarters. Sternly he reminded himself of one of the most fundamental lessons: keeping his mind on the here and now. He reasoned that all of his questions would be answered soon enough. Ironically, he came to this conclusion right as he walked into the Healer?s Bay. As he entered, he stopped and hesitated as he took in the picture in front of him; Mace had already arrived, his face too controlled and forcedly calm to be a good omen. Next to him, Master Yoda was talking quietly to Djara, who was shaking her head grimly. Qui-Gon might have laughed at the picture of the tall pale Gent leaning down to speak with the green diminutive master, if he hadn?t known that the situation was so serious. As he walked up to the three Jedi, Qui-Gon saw that they were standing next to the still unconscious boy he had brought in a few days ago and frowned. This young padawan was popping up all over the place as of late.

    Yoda and Djara finished talking, and as the Healer walked away, Yoda turned to Qui-Gon.

    ?Greetings, Master Jinn.? he said gravely. Qui-Gon bowed, returning Yoda?s greeting and nodding to Mace, shuddering a bit at the hard look in his friend?s eyes.

    ?May I inquire as to what this is about?? he asked.

    ?Discovered young Kenobi, you did?? asked Yoda.

    ?Yes, Master.? Qui-Gon confirmed.

    ?What did you notice about him??

    Qui-Gon blinked at the odd question. ?Well, his shields are remarkably weak, or he was in a significant amount of pain if he couldn?t hold it to himself.? Qui-Gon stated. ?Or, possibly both. He seems very slight in spite of his height. We met a few days ago. He seemed withdrawn and upset, and maybe in pain even then. He was not entirely truthful when I asked if he was alright. He retreats from physical contact.? Qui-Gon paused. ?May I ask what this is all about?? he repeated.

    Yoda gestured towards the Padawan Kenobi. ?Look him over, you should. Be gently, you must.?

    Still confused, Qui-Gon scrutinized the boy. His ashen face still had a sheen to it and was completely void of emotion. Looking towards the Masters and receiving a nod of assent, he gently ran his hands over the boy?s body, top to bottom. He noted flinches, and tightening in the boy?s face in several places. When he probed the boy?s legs, the boy moaned and tried to move when he jostled the boy?s right knee. Frowning, he gently probed the boy?s mind - and quickly withdrew, gasping.

    ?What was that?? he asked breathlessly, his head pounding.

    ?It seems that Kenobi has built up violent defenses of his mind. More violent that any I have seen in a boy his age.? Mace replied in a carefully controlled voice. Qui-Gon wondered what was so bad that could possibly make the stoic man lose his control. ?Djara says that the pain that caused him to collapse came from a bad training bond break.?

    ?Excuse me?? Qui-Gon interrupted, feeling more lost by the minute.

  6. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 27, 2004
    Very interesting beginning and of course it has my favourite two Jedi in it.
    I'm liking that qui-Gon is sympathetic toward Obi-Wan and poor Obi-Wan, he has already been repudiated by two masters. I wonder if they are evil and want poor Obi-Wan dead.

  7. obimom

    obimom Jedi Master star 4

    Oct 31, 2010
    Poor Obi-Wan...such a bright light in the temple being diminished because of two cruel masters...:_|

    One would think the temple would be free of cruel masters abusing children...when these children are placed in their care as padawans...but I guess as in other places where you wouldn't expect it, it happens. I hope the council has a severe way to deal with those responsible - or at the very least they are never allowed to take Padawans again or to even be around the other children.

    I hope Qui-Gon is able to help him...

  8. The1stJediPrincess

    The1stJediPrincess Jedi Knight star 2

    Sep 20, 2010
    It's been said before, let me say it again...POOR OBI-WAN! :_|

    At least the council suspects abuse and they were smart to get Obi-Wan out of the temple. Smarter yet, they sent him with Qui-Gon. ;)

    Sounds like Qui-Gon is still hurt over Xanatos, and Obi-Wan has been hurt by two masters. Perhaps they can teach on another how to trust again. [face_praying]

    Bant was very sweet in this and she may have given Qui-Gon valuable information regrading Obi-Wan's behavior changes. Qui-Gon also listened. :)

    However, something tells me this is not going to be an easy recovery. Plus, Master Nahl may not be happy about the Council suspecting him and may go after our favorite Padawan. [face_worried]

    More please. 8-} I'm interested in seeing Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon interacting for the first time since leaving the temple.
  9. Shira_Adola

    Shira_Adola Jedi Padawan star 4

    Feb 15, 2011
    Gkilkenny: and of course, it has my favourite two Jedi in it[i/]
    *Shrugs* What can I say? They're my favorites too ^^[face_love]

    Obimom: I hope Qui-Gon is able to help him...
    Me too, otherwise, this would make for a terrible story! [face_worried]

    The1stJediPrincess: Master Nahl may not be happy about the Council suspecting him
    No, he certainly may not be[face_whistling]
  10. Shira_Adola

    Shira_Adola Jedi Padawan star 4

    Feb 15, 2011
    Chapter 3: ?I can?t help the fact that everyone can see these scars.? (Faint, Linkin Park)

    For the first time in years, Obi-Wan Kenobi woke up by himself to the silence of his own room. He breathed in, refusing to acknowledge the nervousness he felt of what that might mean. He searched through his memories, trying to figure out where he was without opening his eyes; he felt rays of warmth across his body, and he enjoyed the feeling. Listening, he could hear clanking and running water. So it wasn?t completely silent, he mused. He could tell that he lay on a sleep couch, with blankets around his waist. He smelled...Obi-Wan took another deep breath, enjoying the scents. Whatever they were, they smelled delicious.

    The ever-present feeling of clenching hunger caused him to open his eyes. Sitting up, he looked around. He was in a small room, on a sleep couch. The furnishings were plain; a desk and a chair with his pack on it. the sleep couch, a closet, and a dresser. Looking outside the window, his confusion grew. Instead of the bustling air traffic and tall skyscrapers of Coruscant, he saw rolling hills, green grass, a lake with water falls , a bright blue sky and two suns (the source of the warm rays). He cautiously stood up. The last thing he remembered was the blinding pain, then blackness as the pain eased. Where was he? He gingerly tested his knee, and found to his surprise that it bore his weight with a bit of stiffness, but minimal pain.

    Obi-Wan opened the door and walked out, in search of the source of those amazing smells. He stopped outside of the kitchen, suddenly wary. There was a man, making himself some sort of meat sandwich. Obi-Wan?s eyes lingered on the food longingly as his mouth watered. He took a step back as the man (that he now recognized with surprise as Master Jinn) turned around.

    With a slight smile, the tall Jedi asked ?Would you like one?? Obi-Wan nodded quickly, and cleared his throat.

    ?Yes please.? Qui-Gon nodded and started another sandwich. Obi-Wan slowly sat on the edge of a wooden chair. Only a few moments after Qui-Gon had laid the plate in front of Obi-Wan, the sandwich was gone. Qui-Gon looked at him in quiet amusement.

    ?Would you like another one?? he asked. His amusement grew as the youth blushed and nodded. Obi-Wan went through four sandwiches before settling back in his chair contentedly. He couldn?t remember being allowed t ohave this much to eat - ever. He watched as Qui-Gon nodded thoughtfully. Seeing his curiosity, Qui-Gon explained ?Djara threatened to starve me if you didn?t gain a sufficient amount of weight by the time we returned.?

    ?Djara?? Obi-Wan questioned.

    ?A healer in the temple.? Qui-Gon clarified, wondering about the fact that Obi-Wan hadn?t recognized the name. Everyone knew who Djara was and had, at the very least been through the annual health checkup with her. Qui-Gon?s musings were interrupted by another question.

    ?So...we aren?t...on Coruscant??

    ?No Obi-Wan.? QUi-Gon answered. ?We?re on a planet called Leyla, a few hours from Coruscant.?


    Qui-Gon sat, watching the boy. ?I took you to the Healer?s when I found you collapsed in the Room of a Thousand Fountains.? He frowned at the burst of panic he felt from the boy. ?Djara was concerned about your health. So she sent you here to recuperate and work on your shielding. You aren?t in very good shape, young Kenobi.?

    Obi-Wan cast his eyes down, worried. What did this mean? What was going to happen to him?

    ?Your friend Bant mentioned that you liked working with your lightsaber.? Qui-Gon said, searching for a spark of interest in the blue-grey eyes. He saw none, instead, the boy looked dismayed. ?Once you have a few days to rest, we?ll see how well you can do. Until then, you may do as you wish, eat when you want, sleep when you need.?

    Obi-Wan looked up, surprised, then caught himself and looked back down.

    ?Thank you.? he said quietly. He got up to leave, then hesitated. ?May I?? he asked.

    ?Of course.? Qui-Gon replied. He watched as Obi-Wan gathered his and Qui-Gon?s dishes and proceeded to wash t
  11. The1stJediPrincess

    The1stJediPrincess Jedi Knight star 2

    Sep 20, 2010
    Very sweet, the way Qui-Gon comforts Obi-Wan. [:D] It seems that Obi-Wan's scars run deep. :( It will take some time to get him to feel safe.

    I think one long chapter is called for. [face_praying] Actually, many long chapters with frequent updates. ;)

    Great update! [face_dancing]
  12. obimom

    obimom Jedi Master star 4

    Oct 31, 2010
    Qui-Gon needs much patience if he's going to help Obi-Wan...I hope he can maintain it. But he is a kind, gentle master overall, too bad Obi-Wan is unable to realize it just yet, but it's not his fault, look at the examples he has so far. It's no wonder he thinks Qui-Gon will be only more of the same.

  13. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 27, 2004
    Qui-Gon is doing fine, and a long post would be great.=D=
  14. Shira_Adola

    Shira_Adola Jedi Padawan star 4

    Feb 15, 2011
    The1stJediPrincess: Actually, many long chapters with frequent updates.
    Lol, I'll see what I can do. For the most part, the chapters are all around the same length.


    Chapter 4: ?I forget the last time I felt brave, I just recall insecurity.? (Tidal Wave, Owl City)

    ?He is plainly terrified. Of whom or what I cannot yet see.?

    ?Good work you have done so far.?

    ?Thank you, Master Yoda. I?ll report again tomorrow.?

    Qui-Gon switched off the holo-comm and sat down to brood. The rest of the day had gone smoothly...if you could apply that term to trying to engage a physically and emotionally scarred youth. Obi-Wan had not tried to escape again. He had headed straight back to his room and shut the door. Qui-Gon had left him to himself for a while. He had needed to recuperate after the afternoon?s events. When the time to eat had arrived, Qui-Gon had knocked on the youth?s door. Upon receiving no answer, he had entered to find the young Initiate asleep, curled into a ball in a corner between the sleep couch and the wall. When he had awoken Obi-Wan, a small cry had left the boy and he had shrunk as far away as he could. Qui-Gon had backed off a bit, hands held up in front of him.

    After a few moments, he had asked ?Would you like me to stay out of your room??

    The gratefulness and suspicion had not been lost on the master. Neither had the faint trace of hope. The verbal answer had come a few moments later.

    ?Yes please.?

    Nodding, Qui-Gon had retreated to just outside the door. ?Dinner is read as soon as you are.? He had dismissed the embarrassment and left to finish preparing the food. Obi-Wan hadn?t left the room for a while, but when he finally emerged, he had easily eaten twice the amount that Qui-Gon had consumed, and that wasn?t an easy feat.

    The master was startled out of his revery by a knock on his door.

    ?Come in.? he called. The door cracked open to reveal Obi-Wan in a half-untucked tunic.

    ?Who were you talking to?? he asked. His voice was neutral, but his emotions revealed worry and suspicion.

    ?I was speaking with the Council.?

    ?Why?? Surprise and alarm.

    ?I?m sorry Obi-Wan. I didn?t think to inform you. The Council has asked me to report on your progress.?
    ?Why?? The alarm was more apparent now.

    Qui-Gon sighed. ?Come sit young one.? he said, patting the chair beside him. Obi-Wan hesitated, then gingerly sat on the edge of the chair. ?Remove your tunic, please.? Bewilderment as he did what he was told. As the tunic came off, Qui-Gon?s face turned hard. There were scars criss-crossing the youth?s back. Bruises, old burns, cuts. He checked himself as he felt fear emenating from Obi-Wan.

    He sighed, releasing his anger into the Force. ?I?m sorry Obi-Wan. I?m not angry at you.? He got up and rummaged through his drawers until he found a jar of bacta-salve. Opening it, he scooped some on his fingers and proceeded to massage the pale blue cream into the newer looking of Obi-Wan?s wounds. Obi-Wan winced, but allowed Qui-Gon to continue with his actions. After a few moments, Qui-Gon spoke up.

    ?Obi-Wan, a great injustice has been done to you.?


    ?The Council has taken it personally because they should have seen that something was wrong. They wish to see this righted.?

    ?And you?? came the hesitant question.

    ?I knew that something was wrong. The Force had practically screamed it at me. And yet, much to my shame, I did nothing.? Obi-Wan was startled to hear grief and regret in the older man?s voice. Suddenly, he gasped in pain.

    ?I?m sorry, young one.? came the murmured apology. Obi-Wan screwed his eyes tight and his breathing started to hitch as his back burned.

    Qui-Gon?s eyes shone with sympathy. He had begun to apply the salve to a particularly long and fresh-looking burn starting from the youth?s right shoulder and ending halfway down the boy?s left side. The Jedi gently moved the boy to the bed and held him as he continued to massage salve into the wound. The boy tr
  15. obimom

    obimom Jedi Master star 4

    Oct 31, 2010
    Nice that Qui-Gon is breaking through to Obi-Wan. Healing is beginning.

    Now can we watch while the council knocks those two nasty masters around a bit, and see them kicked out of the order even? They don't deserve to be called Jedi Knights after the way they treated Obi-Wan, unless they truly see the error of their ways...or is there more to them than meets the eye..[face_thinking]

    No matter, to see Yoda, Mace and whoever else want to join in to kick their behinds would be good..:D
  16. The1stJediPrincess

    The1stJediPrincess Jedi Knight star 2

    Sep 20, 2010
    Well, Qui-Gon is making some break throughs, and that is good to see.=D=

    Obi-Wan will be happy to make his own lightsaber, and that will help him heal too. [:D]

    Nice update.
  17. Chilla

    Chilla Jedi Master star 4

    Jul 30, 2005
    Nice story so far! I hope you'll continue to update it. =D=

    I dislike the Prequels and usually read in "Beyond the Saga", but I really enjoyed reading this. For me, Obi-Wan was the only good thing about the Prequels. [face_blush] I like him, which is why I'm here. :D Plus, I wanted to let you know that you've got another reader.
    I really like the interaction with Qui-Gon Jinn here.

    I hope Yoda will punish Obi's former masters. No child should be abused like that.
    Even though it's the first time I've read about abuse at the Jedi Temple or something like that, I think it makes sense. The Jedi are just as fallible as other people. So interesting idea here and I'm curious how it will be handled by the Council.
  18. Shira_Adola

    Shira_Adola Jedi Padawan star 4

    Feb 15, 2011
    Thanks ^^. Unfortunately, updates are gonna be a bit slow lately. I'm working two jobs, plus homework. So, I'm writing, but typing and updates will be slower :(
  19. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 7

    Aug 31, 2004
    Hello! I gobbled this up in one fell swoop! Delightfully touching read! Your Qui-Gon is excellent and so lovable. :*

    Obi-Wan has been through a horrific ordeal but I can feel him gradually moving more toward being able or at least willing to trust, even if in stages.

    Empathy, like cruelty, cannot be faked to a Force-sensitive, so I know he can sense sincerity and true caring.


    It was a real treat to see Tahl and her with Bant; a real warm relationship there.

    I too hope the two masters who were so cruel are stripped of their ability to touch the Force. [face_thinking]

    LOL Long review here; I also would love PMs when you can update again.


  20. JediKaren

    JediKaren Jedi Youngling star 3

    Apr 26, 2007
    wow I just love this kind of story. It's well done in it's details, in the fact that it's well thought out, and while not the first of it's kind, I still don't mind the fact and want you to hurry up with the next chapter...errr please?
  21. Shira_Adola

    Shira_Adola Jedi Padawan star 4

    Feb 15, 2011
    obimom: Now we can watch while the council knock those two nasty masters around a bit
    lol not yet, but i promise to try to make in memorable ;)

    Chilla: I dislike the Prequels and usually read in "Beyond the Saga"
    Woot! Glad I could rope in a nonbeliever lol. Obi-Wan's my favorite too, although I really love Qui-Gon too:)

    Jade_eyes: I would also love PMs
    Can do. Glad to have another reader ^^

    Ok, here's another long post lol.
  22. Shira_Adola

    Shira_Adola Jedi Padawan star 4

    Feb 15, 2011
    Chapter 5: ?I won?t let you choke on the noose around your neck.? (Mumford & Sons, The Cave)

    The next week passed in a blur. Obi-Wan had eagerly accepted the challenge of building a lightsaber. The only hitch came with the required meditation.

    ?You will need to meditate, to hone your focus to the task ahead.? Qui-Gon had told him, pretending he hadn?t seen the way the body had stiffened, or the fact that the blood had drained from his face.

    ?Why do I have to meditate?? Obi-Wan had asked with a slightly wavering voice.

    ?This is a crucial time in your life, young one. What you are about to create will become a permanent part of your life, defining and shaping who you are. You need to meditate on it, to get in the right frame of mind and think about what it is that you truly want.? Qui-Gon grinned suddenly. ?I meditated for an entire day. Master Dooku told me he thought I had died.? The muscles pulled up slightly at the corners of Obi-Wan?s mouth, then quickly dropped again.

    ?How long?? he asked quietly, his face still pale and his hands playing with his tunic.

    ?That depends.? Qui-Gon answered. My friend Tahl, your friend Bant?s Master, only meditated for a few hours before she was ready.?

    ?So, every Padawan must do this?? Obi-Wan asked uneasily.


    ?Will Bant have to do it??

    ?I believe she already has.?

    Some resolve hardened in Obi-Wan. He took a deep breath and nodded, determination in his blue eyes.

    ?Would you like me to help you?? Qui-Gon asked.

    ?No!? Obie-Wan had taken a step back, his grey eyes wide and panicked. Qui-Gon had held his hands up in front of him, a now familiar ritual when Obi-Wan became frightened. It only took a few moments for Obi-Wan to calm down.

    ?Sorry.? he muttered, shame in his eyes.

    ?It?s alright.? Qui-Gon replied easily. He was becoming used to Obi-Wan?s frequent bursts of panic and suspicion, even if they were disheartening.

    It had taken three days for Obi-Wan to successfully meditate. It was clear that he was out of habit. The boy?s frustration had mounted high until, a few days ago, he had cracked.

    ?What do you want from me?? he had shouted after another failed attempt. ?I can?t do this!? He had begun pacing in circles. ?They were right, both of them! I?ll never be ready for this. I?ll never be good enough. Why did I ever question them? Even after what they did. They were right, I?m not fit to be a Jedi, I never was.?

    Qui-Gon had listened in shocked silence. His Master?s had told him all of this? No wonder they boy?s self-confidence was so low. What else had they done to him?

    ?That?s enough Obi-Wan.? he said firmly, ending the young teen?s self-deprecation.

    Obi-Wan had whirled around, anger and despair in his eyes.

    ?And what do you want from me?? he had snapped.

    Qui-Gon, staring him down, had firmly replied ?Nothing but your best.?

    Obi-Wan had scoffed in disbelief. ?Well my best has never been good enough, has it? Look at me!? he had cried in hopeless desperation. ?I?ve been repudiated twice! I can?t even do the most basic meditation,? he grabbed the still present Padawan?s braid. ?What does this even mean anymore?? he had shouted.

    Qui-Gon had strode over to Obi-Wan, who had suddenly shrunk back against the wall. The tall Master gently took the braid, fighting against tremendous amounts of terror.

    ?This braid symbolizes your life, who you are going to be. Who you will be is up to you, and only you. But you had best decide quickly which side you will join. Otherwise, the conflict will destroy you.? Qui-Gon knelt down, gripping the boy?s shoulders. Something wasn?t right. This was one of the strongest panic attacks that Obi-Wan had had since coming to Leyla. Something from the past was terrifying the young boy, who was shaking badly, his wide eyes fixed on the Master.

    ?Obi-Wan?? Qui-Gon called gently. Receiving no answer, Qui-Gon drew the boy close to him. After a while, when most of the boy?s fear had died, Qui-Gon pulled away and asked ?What did I do?? Pain and regret filled the boy?s eyes.

    ?The...the braid.? he stammered. ?Master Li?ohn used to pu
  23. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 7

    Aug 31, 2004
    Excellent! Wonderful strides Obi-Wan is taking both in confidence and enjoying his skills and feeling positive emotions again.

    Thanks for the PM. @};-


    When you mention angst, it makes me think there'll be some kind of setback.

    :( I absolutely hope that Obi-wan is not blindsided by his former masters and their schemes again.


    He needs to realize they've never done anything but feed him a pack of lies and were not once looking for his best interests.

  24. obimom

    obimom Jedi Master star 4

    Oct 31, 2010
    Loved the progress Obi-Wan has made...and his new lightsaber.

    It will still take some time to change the habits he acquired under the abuse of his previous two masters, but he's doing so much better. To see him in better health, and gaining some pride and excitement is wonderful.

    Uh-oh, angst to come. Wonder what that means...[face_worried]
  25. Shira_Adola

    Shira_Adola Jedi Padawan star 4

    Feb 15, 2011
    Jade-eyes: He needs to realize that they've never done anything but feed him a pack of lies and were not once looking for his best interests
    Unfortunately, I can pretty much garuntee that you will never see an abuse victim say that it wasn't his fault. Virtually all victims think that they were abused because of their own mistakes.:(

    obimom: To see him in better health and gaining some pride and excitement is wonderful.