Saga Doppelgänger - Part 2, Chapter 4 (part 1) - 5/9/07 new

Last night I did all of my replies and when I hit post, for some reason the board ate it. I immediately went to bed in a fit of despair. That?ll teach me to not do my replies in a Word doc.

So ? giving it another go now.


geo3

Ventress, as you present her, is for the first time etched in my imagination as a three-dimensional character. The comics never quite did it for me... I just didn't "get" her. Now I do. All of those little brush strokes - the beauty that somehow can't disguise the look in her eyes - her feelings (if that's the right word) about the droid soldiers and their usefulness as scrap - her discomfort and uncertainty around Vader, whom even she fears - these details bring her into sharp relief.

This is very flattering! I am trying to portray these characters quickly but convincingly. I really appreciate your remarks.

And Vader - his personality is so distinctive. His laughter. His utter coldness (which nevertheless has a different quality to it than Ventress') His - I'd almost want to call it insousciance. He is as ... well, evil... as Ventress - even more so - and yet there are so many layers to him that he keeps me constantly enthralled.



And I saimply can't wait for the encounter between the wielders of the blue light and the red!

I hope it lives up!


obsessed

Your interview with Obi-Wan makes me want an afternoon to question and listen to him to get his perspective

An interview with Obi-Wan. Huumm? I think you might be onto something there! I think you should write it! And put me on the PM list! I?m serious!

Halcyon died with order 66 in cannon right?
Slake was one of my favorite Eu non jedi personalities. I hope we see more of him.

Yeah, I think he did. And yeah ? there?s more of Slayke.

My favorite paragraph of the post. I don't even think of things like this!

Thank you very much!

Vader meets Anakin face to face, in daylight no less! Cant wait!

I hope you won?t hate me when it?s over.


Daenarrah

So glad to hear from you!

::toes the ground:: Sorry about Nejaa ? I liked him too.

I must tell you I LOVE your rewrite of the Battle of Praesitlyn here. It's amazing! You're down and dirty with it, throwing us in the trenches along with Anakin and the clones. You convey Anakin's feelings and plight with now being in charge, now that Halcyon is dead, and not really knowing exactly what to do, yet he does, superbly. (did that make sense?)

Not only does it make sense, but it makes me very happy!


Rilwen_Shadowflame

Wow. Truly, a great update.

Thanks!

DragonLotus

An update at last! And what a cliffhanger! The twins are about to meet face to face for the first time....

More soon!

Well, it wasn?t exactly soon ? but here?s more! Thanks for reading.


Jole

I really like the way you wrote the battle scene. Not many authors can do that well, it looked like a movie scene in my head.

What a wonderful compliment! Thanks so much!

Asajj has a conscience* of sorts, very interesting.

LOL! Yeah ? of a sort.

Parky!

I cannot imagine what his reaction is going to be when he gets a good look at his enemy.

Uhm ? yeah, I think it would kinda blow his mind. I know it would me.

I love the way you write action - I can 'see' it unfolding as I read along - just like I would if I were watching a movie. What a gift!

Thank you so much!


Darth_Father-in-law

There were something so twisted yet cool about the way Vader had placed him...



Your descriptions of the war and battles are beyond splendid, the way you describe their feelings and the weapons, vehicles...Excellent. But I must say that I'm not happy here. Vader has arrived, he has his wicked plans, Asajj is just as evil as he is - and the

 

A/N - This is a long chapter folks so thanks in advance to those of you that slog on through.

thanks to all the folks who pre-read, beta-ed, and pretty much held my hand while I was working on this. Yes, it takes a village for rs to finish a battle scene folks. So thanks Souderwan, kel e en, leia_naberrie and ELDRITCH for tell ing me that it was going to be all right, and bringing the smelling salts. You guys are awesome!







Chapter 3

What price, Victory?

I?ve often asked myself this question. In the dull hours before dawn, when the wind blows so fiercely that even the dust seals cannot keep the sand from seeping past my door, it plagues me.

Every battle resolves into a weighing of options. This is clearest when things go wrong.

Weighing of options ? a civilized way of saying calculated death

When a battle goes poorly many things go through the commander?s mind, but the most important thing is for him to push onward no matter what. Sacrifice is expected and victory is bought for a great price.

The Jedi learned this the hard way.

I learned this the hard way.

Anakin always knew it.

---

Frozen moments in time were always crystalline in perspective. Like holograms laid out for inspection, they revealed the truth in uncompromising terms. The warrior that was Anakin Skywalker understood this; he silently faced the creature that wanted his blood, jaw set, body taut, waiting.

Seething currents in the Force spelled death for both him and the loyal squadron that had followed him into the gundark?s nest that was the Separatists? bunker. Anakin could accept this for himself, but the loss of his men was unthinkable. Although the tactician in him saw doom written on the guns of the destroyers, the boy from Tatooine refused to accept it.

Mere seconds had passed but it was enough to give his opponent the upper hand. The bloodshine blade lashed at his face with blinding speed. It barely touched his cheek, but its burning sting snapped him into the moment.

?Wake up, Skywalker!? a voice growled from the depths of the hood.

Anakin leapt back as the other lunged again.

Waves of passion emanating from the shrouded human before him screamed of murder - murder for him and for his men.

?If you think I?m going to fight you while your droids kill my men, you?re wrong, Vader!?

Anakin assumed a defensive posture before what was left of the squad. Their weapons were trained on the destroyers who were clearly prepared to return fire, given the order. Sweat dripped from his hair as he glared at his enemy.

Sith and Jedi faced one another - impasse.

Vaguely, Anakin noticed a flash of teeth as the shadowed mouth twisted under the heavy cowl. He wondered how Vader could see at all. Maybe he didn?t need to.

?Very well,? Vader said. His voice should have sounded muffled, but it didn?t. To Anakin, it rang against his ears as if he were thinking the words himself. ?I?ll kill them then!?

Anakin saw the feint coming before it even began, and caught the force of Vader?s sudden leap with a lunge of his own. Their blades erupted with a shriek and a blinding flare as they ground together. Anakin?s shoulders trembled as he gathered the strength to throw the other back. They closed on one another, faces inches apart. Squinting against the light of the swords, Anakin stared into the cowl, trying to read what he could of Vader?s face?

? and choked.

With a surge, Vader thrust him back, and slashed again. This time the crimson burn flashed across his right eye.

Anakin didn?t blink. He stood a moment panting. His eyes narrowed to mere slits as he glared at the hooded man in disbelief ? the universe and everything in it spiraled down to a single pinpoint of consequence.

Vader.

What he had seen.

Not possible.

?Open fir - ?

?NO!?

Anakin charged. He slammed into Vader with everything he had; the Force and his own considerable strength were aided by sheer, blind hatred.

Not this time, you bastard!

 

*snags first post*



Brilliant chapter! More in a bit.

 

*snags second post*

Bravo! I loved this. I was on the edge of my seat reading it. I'll comment more in a bit. I need to catch my breath from that one.

Edit: Ok. Now I can give you a proper review. Let me just begin by saying that I was completely rivited to this entire post.

The battle between Vader and Anakin was splendid. Anakin was completely stunned when he finally saw Vader's face, but needing to recover quickly kind of cut that moment short.

Anakin being introduced to Force lightening from Vader was definitely harsh. Your description of the event was marvelous. Nice save that Anakin pulled by crushing Vader's arm; and relying on Obi-Wan's instruction to overcome the pain was insightful.

The emotion of the battle for the others was remarkable as well. Too bad so many lost their lives in it. You captured the moments of valiant soldiers very well. The short moment of interaction between Anakin and the clone troopers was interesting and insightful, as well. I guess the clone troopers really are not programed to take in the concept of emotional injury as well as physical.

Interesting how now Anakin and Vader have traded lightsabers so-to-speak. Vader cutting off his crushed limb was an interesting way to get away. Vader saving Ventress was an interesting twist. I'm taking it that the 'calvary' kicked her butt and Vader still figured she was useful.
I got a good laugh from Vader's final line. It just seemed to fit the moment.

All together... I'm sssoooo impressed!

 

Wow, and again WOW!!! RS, you've outdone yourself again. An extremely revealing update you gave us. Anakin discovering Vader's true self, Asajj almost getting killed, Vader barely escaping, and Dooku being his overconfident self. I can't help to think that you will kill him as well. Looking forward to your next update. Again, you have given par excellence.

 

An excellent update. Vader losing a limb, and needing a replacement...Force, the two get more and more similar...
Can't wait for more.

 

Oh. My. God. I'm still shaking.

Absolutely brilliant. The symmetry - the awful, glorious symmetry!

I don't quite know how to pick out bits that I particularly loved. The chapter is seamless. My notes run on and on...

Sacrifice is expected and victory is bought for a great price.

The Jedi learned this the hard way.

I learned this the hard way.

Anakin always knew it.

Yes!!!

Vader?s breath came in harsh rasps, but he said nothing. Seemingly, he would die before he would admit defeat.

Anakin did not find the idea distasteful.

Such... understatement. This whole chapter, for all its powerful and vivid imagery (the action is beautifully written), has a wonderful underlying tone of understatement which makes the enormities it deals with that much greater. Marvelous.

The bloodstain trailed off a short distance and stopped.

?Trooper, where did you find this weapon?? Anakin held up the lightsaber.

?Near the blood, sir.?

Anakin activated the blade. It glowed red.

?Did you find another one?? he asked

?No, sir. Only the one, sir,? the trooper replied.

?I see,? Anakin said.

[breathless hiss] They swapped lightsabers!!!!! [/breathless hiss]

Anakin allowed his head to drop back against the seat. He felt sick.

?Sir?? TK97 inquired, glancing down at Anakin?s bloody armor. ?Are you wounded??

?Yes,? he replied listlessly.

?I?ll get the medic, sir.? TK97 started toward the comm-link.

?No.? Anakin stopped him. ?Sit down, it won?t help.?

?I don?t understand, sir.?

?No, you don?t.?

Ahhhh... I wonder ... and yes, I concede that I might be totally, stupidly romantic here, but I can't help wondering... are lightsabers the only thing they swapped? There is no evidence of it yet, but... well... you know... could it be that they are more alike than not??? Or are mirror images doomed to remain separate and distinct forever?

I'm sorry about the randomness of my response. I can't get my thoughts to connect properly. Still shaking.

By the way, I loved this line: ?The cavalry never comes over the hill, Subu. It comes from the sky.? Just because.

Bravo!

 

Wonderful RS! And what did you think I wouldnt like in this post?
The Vader /Anakin confrontation was riveting! I really liked OBi-Wan's advice about pain for Anakin, sounds a little reminescent of Vergere's for Jacen- my other favorite fallen Jedi! Why do I feel that Vader and Anakin are slowly melding into one person?

I agree with Geo on the last qoute about the calvary it was brillant!

Your description as always is breathaking.

 

I knew that Vader and Ventress both survived- it sounded almost too easy.

And I think it's fascinating that Vader ended up with Anakin's saber and Anakin has Vader's.....

 

Aughhhhhh!!! Creepily wonderful, rocketscientist! I loved it so much - every single scene was fantastic. This part especially had me gripping my keyboard a bit tighter than needed:

Destruction was her muse, Death her sister. She reveled in the fact that no energy weapon could wound her. The earth quaked but she never lost her footing though her enemies sprawled at her feet. She granted the worthy a quick death.

Killing calmed her; in the heat of battle life was good. She savored her revenge upon mankind, past pain temporarily forgotten. Here no man could touch her.

Even as her saber cut gapping swaths in the clone battalion, she calculated the course of the battle.

Slash ? thrust ? deflect.

What perfect wording! Oh my gosh - the entire piece was just beyond awesome! Congratulations on writing the heck outta that battle scene! BRAVO!!! *lengthy standing ovation - clapping so long hands begin to hurt*

Thanks for the PM! I can't wait to see what's going to happen next. Anakin has GOT to be so lost and confused. I'm so worried for him! Yikes!

 

Geez, RS.

Now that was a battle scene.

I'm all shaky now, having read that. The gloriously gritty war scenes, the wicked interchanges between Anakin and Vader, the Force lightning, the gore and the sheer dirtiness of battle...

Um... wow.

The idea of the perfect mirror battle was fantastic, and I adored Obi-Wan's message to Anakin during battle concerning pain. Just all in all amazing. I love how Vader lost his arm now, too.

And this... read this, and I just knew this was going to be good.

The Jedi learned this the hard way.

I learned this the hard way.

Anakin always knew it.

That was most impressive, RS. Amazing, astounded, etc. I feel dirty and injured just reading it. I think I'll drag myself out of her before I make any more incoherent wow sounds.

Much , of course. I can't wait for more!

 

You mean, like spit??


*ducks*

Rocket, this is an astounding piece of work. It seems with every post you showcase the breadth and depth of your expertise. I too loved the lightsaber switch and my brain has fully accepted the Anaking AND Vader thing. I think that says something.

Be proud, be really proud. Thanks for sharing.

 

You mean, like spit??

ROTFL! That'll teach me to use metaphor around a linear-thinking male... *ducks AND runs*

 

OMG!!!




DON'T TEMPT ME





edit - note to self - ask ELDRITCH to beta new missing scene from chapter 3 - and find url for own clone slash fics....

 

http://www.itsortatasteslikemyownsaliva.com

mirrored at http://www.betterthanlickingamirror.com


Ready to be banned now.


(oh, and it was GEO3 who started this, NOT me!!)

*Phil Hartman doing Charlton Heston voice* Damn you, damn you to hell!

 

*wipes eyes*

Why you sly dog - I never would have guessed...

 

I still get first post credit, right? I thought I?d post a new reply instead of going back and editing the old post. (Yep. I wanted to give you an ?up?.)

Saying this last post was superb just doesn?t quite cut it.

This post was simply fantastic! (Yes, that?s on the official Souderwan Scale?).

What price, Victory?

I?ve often asked myself this question. In the dull hours before dawn, when the wind blows so fiercely that even the dust seals cannot keep the sand from seeping past my door, it plagues me.

Every battle resolves into a weighing of options. This is clearest when things go wrong.

Weighing of options ? a civilized way of saying calculated death

When a battle goes poorly many things go through the commander?s mind, but the most important thing is for him to push onward no matter what. Sacrifice is expected and victory is bought for a great price.

The Jedi learned this the hard way.

I learned this the hard way.

Anakin always knew it.

There are any number of things to pull out from a given post, but when a chapter starts like this?.wow! This is just absolutely brilliant. I loved every word.

Anakin saw the feint coming before it even began, and caught the force of Vader?s sudden leap with a lunge of his own. Their blades erupted with a shriek and a blinding flare as they ground together. Anakin?s shoulders trembled as he gathered the strength to throw the other back. They closed on one another, faces inches apart. Squinting against the light of the swords, Anakin stared into the cowl, trying to read what he could of Vader?s face?

? and choked.

I was looking forward to this moment when they came face to face?when Anakin learned who Vader was?and you didn?t disappoint!!

This entire chapter is just a fantastic? display of your superb writing skills! You draw the details superbly without bashing me over the head or slowing down the action. You show me with outstanding skill the trauma of the moment and its?well?momentousness.

You wrote Slake wonderfully?I?d follow that guy!

Oh! And I loved this:

Black winged beasts flocked in circling hordes above the plain. Impatience to feed pushed them into an aggressive frenzy, the creatures striking violently at each other in passing. But none dared venture into the lower thermals yet. They had to wait despite the hunger that gnawed at their innards. They understood this as the way of things, and they knew that soon they would feed.

Gleaming black eyes focused on the ground below as vast wings beat the heated air with slow sweeps. Trefoil pupils, like telescopic lenses, spun to take in the details of the drama. The mechanics were of no value ? all that mattered was the meat.

Loved the whole thing! Creepy and feral. Loved it.

Of course, the entire battle sequence was great? and I can?t wait for the next chapter!!

Well done!

 

I'm just putting in my placeholder here - all that talk about 'cloneslash'...



Proper reply once I've washed my brain, OK?

 

Geo3 started it!!



I only have one thing to say: Carrrrrne asada.

Go ahead, say it.

 

I told you I'd try to comment on this chapter and here I am.

I'm so completely blown away by this chapter and the detail. The description of the battle is stellar. Just like last chapter you capture the desperation of the situation so well.

Anakin's confrontation with Vader was everything I hoped it would be. It's creepy that now Vader needs his right arm replaced just like Anakins. I have a feeling that's something Vader can spin to his advantage and create a problem for Anakin.

 

What an exciting update! Anakin's reaction to seeing Vader for the first time was expected, though his shock seems shortlived. But I'm sure it'll come back to haunt him again later.

And Vader DID lose his right arm. Just in a different manner and under different circumstances from what I, and I think a few others, speculated earlier.

My my, what an evil plot you've created. It's going to get even harder now to distinguish the twins. Heck, you've even switched their lightsabers!

I was also quite surprised Vader would bother to rescue Ventress.

As always, you don't disappoint. An update well worth the wait!

Hope you won't keep us waiting too long to find out what happens next!

 

Is there going to be an update soon?

 

Because I'm in an Ah **** -It kinda mood, and I'm sure I'll regret it later, but I'm posting it anyway, hot off the keyboard, un-beta-ed, for your delectation and/or revilement: the first part of the next chapter of Doppelgänger.

I hope you can forgive me...


(replies will follow the chapter - 'cause clearly I'm in a backward mood)




Chapter 4

When Vader at last came to Coruscant, it was the beginning of the end.

*

Geonosis was a dusty world, arid vistas punctuated by rocky outcroppings and towering hives built over underground water. Occasionally the cloudy skies would clear, and a stark, vibrant blue stretched like a taut film above the deep umber earth.

Asajj glanced out of the tall window behind Lord Tyrannus; she noted the deployment of a new drone bomber. Today was one of those blue-sky days and the light glinted off her mentor?s white hair, a frost that was less cold than his demeanor.

Unlike many, she took comfort in that cold. Lord Tyrannus never did anything untold in her presence. If there was a passion that ruled his actions, she had never seen it. He could always be counted on to make the most effective and calculated move, even if she could not fathom his motives.

Asajj felt safe in the cold of her mentor?s disdain for closeness, although she was not consciously aware of it. In her many years under his tutelage he had never so much as laid a hand on her, even in training. This also comforted Asajj, although she didn?t care to dwell on the fact. Asajj didn?t like to be touched. That he had never come to the surgery to be solicitous or check on her progress was a relief (solicitation was for the weak, one of the reasons she despised the overtures of the bleeding-heart jedi, Kenobi and vowed one day to teach him the meaning of her own brand of kindness).

The ministrations of the Geonosians had been close to intolerable, but necessary, she knew. Healing around the bionic implants had been tedious, but now she felt as fit as ever and was ready to prove it.

?You sent for me, my Lord?? Asajj stood at studied ease.

?Yes,? Count Dukoo of Serreno, or Lord Tyrannus as she preferred to think of him, leaned back a bit in his large chair and looked Asajj up and down. Apparently satisfied with what he saw, he continued.

?Lord Vader has left Geonosis,? he stated.

Asajj waited, impassive.

?I want you give me a complete report of the siege on Praesitlyn and Vader?s part in it,? Tyrannus said.

?Very good, my Lord,? Asajj said, expecting to be dismissed. Lord Tyrannus, however, continued to gaze at her, hands steepled under his chin.

?Why did Vader bring you back?? he inquired at last.

Asajj frowned. She had asked herself this question a number of times but could reach no satisfactory answer. One thing she was sure of though, Vader?s motives were not altruistic.

?I do not know, my Lord,? she replied. Tyrannus had never disciplined her for speaking her mind, and she did so now: ?I supposed that I was meant to be offered in trade for the prosthesis he now uses.?

?No.? Tyrannus drew out the statement, as if considering its ramifications. ?That would not be the reason.?

?Then my Lord, I?m at a loss. I would have thought he would prefer to leave me to die,? she said.

?Is that so? Why?? Tyrannus asked.

?Because I know something about him, something both useful to me and potentially dangerous for him,? Asajj stated.

?And what might that be?? Tyrannus was watching her intently. As usual, she could not read his expression.

Asajj stood slightly straighter, schooling her features to contain her loathing. ?There may be a connection between Vader and the Jedi General Kenobi?s padawan, Anakin Skywalker.?

?Indeed,? Tyrannus said.

Did she detect a sneer in his voice?

?I believe that there is a genetic relationship. Such that they could be brothers - or even clones.? Asajj watched her mentor carefully as this piece of information was absorbed.

?Interesting.? Tyrannus rose from his chair and approached Asajj. She was a tall woman, but

 

Ok now replies:

Souderwan

*snags first post*

Brilliant chapter! More in a bit.

Thanks! Catch ya on the other side.


RavenNolan

Thanks babe, for the post and for the edit.

Let me just begin by saying that I was completely rivited to this entire post.

Really? You're not just being nice? Boy that makes me happy.

I guess the clone troopers really are not programed to take in the concept of emotional injury as well as physical.

I'm so glad that the sense of Anakin's emotional state came across to you. It's not easy to convey that kind of thing (without outright saying it) 'cause he's always thought of as someone who takes a licking but keeps on ticking. I'm trying to show that he's close to his limit and may make mistakes.

Interesting how now Anakin and Vader have traded lightsabers so-to-speak. Vader cutting off his crushed limb was an interesting way to get away. Vader saving Ventress was an interesting twist. I'm taking it that the 'calvary' kicked her butt and Vader still figured she was useful.

It probably feels like there are some plot holes right now - but it's all to be explained as we progress. I guess story-wise I didn't pick the best time to go missing.

I got a good laugh from Vader's final line. It just seemed to fit the moment.

He does seem to get the good lines.

Thanks for reading Hon!


RX

Hey! How's it going?

Wow, and again WOW!!! RS, you've outdone yourself again.

Awww, Thanks, I try.

Anakin discovering Vader's true self, Asajj almost getting killed, Vader barely escaping, and Dooku being his overconfident self. I can't help to think that you will kill him as well.

All shall be revealed (more or less). Thanks so much for reading!


Rilwen

Force, the two get more and more similar...

Yes they do. Odd that, isn't it?

Thank you for reading!


geo3

I'm still shaking.

Really? Honest? You're not just saying that to be nice? (writers are SO insecure!)

The chapter is seamless.

Wow! Thank you - in reality it's a very seam-y chapter. Cut's all over the place, and I was worried that it was too choppy, although battle is kinda choppy so (especially with these guys)... But I hoped that if I did it right it would flow anyway. I'm glad it did for you.

Such... understatement. This whole chapter, for all its powerful and vivid imagery (the action is beautifully written), has a wonderful underlying tone of understatement which makes the enormities it deals with that much greater. Marvelous.

Thank you again! (I hope that's not a nice way of saying it's flat - KIDDING - don't hit me! See how insecure us writers are? Sheesh! )

I want to believe.



Ahhhh... I wonder ... and yes, I concede that I might be totally, stupidly romantic here, but I can't help wondering... are lightsabers the only thing they swapped?

In light of the Eldritch post below, I can't help cracking up.

There is no evidence of it yet, but... well... you know... could it be that they are more alike than not??? Or are mirror images doomed to remain separate and distinct forever?

Uhm...

Thank you ma'am, for sharing your thoughts - I always get so much out of the experience. Seriously.


owSW

Hi there! - I can't remember what I thought you wouldn't like. Maybe the arm-crushing squick or something, or the killing almost everybody off. But I'm glad you did like it!

I really liked OBi-Wan's advice about pain for Anakin, sounds a little reminescent of Vergere's for Jacen- my other favorite fallen Jedi!

Oh yeah? Cool!

Why do I feel that Vader and Anakin are slowly melding into one person?

No comment.

[fa

 

Once again, you have posted another amazing chapter, RS.

Count Dooku and Asaaj plotting against Vader. Vader testing his new arm. Sidious telling him it is time. Time for revenge I'm sure.