Beyond "Downfall" (K/J, NJO AU) **COMPLETED 09 March!!**

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Dantana Skywalker, Feb 18, 2004.

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  1. ShortySC22 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 18, 2002
    star 1
    I just read this whole story and I love it. You write the tragedy very well. ^_^ Good job.
  2. SaberBlade Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 19, 2001
    star 3
    ARGH!! Everyone's dead!!

    ::bows down before the angst queen::

    But everyone is very well written dead. I thought this entire last post was very poetically done. You write the little details that make it real very well.

    -Saber
  3. Princess1 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 3, 2001
    star 4
    (crys.....) you made me cry, and I do not cry easily over stories, so that there is compliment enough! :D

    So sad.....but great job. :)
  4. Jez_3-14159265358979 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 13, 2001
    star 4
    DANTANA SKULLY, you get back here RIGHT NOW and fix this. They are NOT supposed to die. They are supposed to save the universe and live happily ever after!

    jez
  5. Thrawn McEwok Co-Author: Essential Guide to Warfare

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 9, 2000
    star 6
    Dana: LOL! Ick. Y'know . . . they don't allow that kind of stuff here . . . ;) I'll have to check it out. :)

    You do realise there's no Kyp/Jag in it? ;) :p

    Why, yes, I do!

    [reads 'fic...]

    Uhh...

    :eek:

    :eek:

    :eek:

    Wow. That sense of everything falling slowly silent...

    Like Alderaan dying, in excruciating slow motion...

    :eek:

    So, is that it...?

    [face_mischief]

    - The Imperial Ewok
  6. Babi_Tahiri Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 29, 2003
    star 1
    *GASP* OMG! You're so good! This feels like the end, but it isn't, obviously. I can't wait to see how you resolve this.

    ~^~ Tahiri ~^~
  7. Daughterofflame Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 11, 2003
    star 4
    WOW. :eek: Please don't tell me that's the end!!! :( :_|
    Well, if it is, I must say I'm sad for it to end, but that's one of the best short fics I've read.
    Great job with it either way, Dana.

    ~*~Austyn
  8. Master_Jaina1011 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 20, 2002
    star 4
    so first you kill jacen and anakin at the same time . . . wait no you killed kyp then you send him back in time . . . then you killed everyone else in the galaxy imaginable . . . and supposedly kill kyp and jaina . . .

    how could i not like it!!! for some weird reason it reminds me of the butterfly effect . . . hmm . . idea . . .

    new post soon?


    ~MJ
  9. JainaDurron Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 8, 2002
    star 4
    Great post Dana. :) The last few chapters should be interesting to see what you do.

    ~~Jilly
  10. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    No, that's not the end. There are 3 more chapters left.

    More detailed responses when I get chapter 11 posted.


    Dana
  11. Jez_3-14159265358979 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 13, 2001
    star 4
    get it posted. or i will be force to show up at your house and shoot banana cream pies at you.

    Jez
  12. padme-96 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 12, 2002
    star 4
  13. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    ShortySC22 - I just read this whole story and I love it. You write the tragedy very well. ^_^ Good job.

    Thank you. :) But it's not done yet, so I hope you're sticking around!


    saberBlade - ARGH!! Everyone's dead!!

    Why, yes, yes they are. [face_devil]

    ::bows down before the angst queen::

    But everyone is very well written dead. I thought this entire last post was very poetically done. You write the little details that make it real very well.


    Thank you. :) Not really sure what "little details" you're talking about, but thank you.


    Princess1 - (crys.....) you made me cry, and I do not cry easily over stories, so that there is compliment enough! So sad.....but great job.

    Thanks. :) I don't usually cry over stories, either . . . And I rarely cry at movies. I can only think of two that made me cry. ("The Two Towers" and "The Return Of The King")


    Jez - DANTANA SKULLY, you get back here RIGHT NOW and fix this. They are NOT supposed to die. They are supposed to save the universe and live happily ever after!

    I laughed soooo hard when I saw that! It's been FOREVER since anyone's called me "Scully". Took me quite by surprise.

    If you're mad at me . . . well, just read chapter 11. :D


    Thrawn - You do realise there's no Kyp/Jag in it?

    There'd BETTER not be! That's just . . . eeeeewwwwww!

    [reads 'fic...]
    Uhh...
    Wow. That sense of everything falling slowly silent...
    Like Alderaan dying, in excruciating slow motion...


    Well, that wasn't exactly the idea, but it kinda works. I just had to wonder what would happen if everyone in the galaxy was wiped out except for two Jedi . . . would the Force still be there? I've been messing with that idea since reading "Rebirth" the first time.

    So, is that it...?

    Nope!


    Babi_Tahiri - *GASP* OMG! You're so good! This feels like the end, but it isn't, obviously. I can't wait to see how you resolve this.

    Thanks. :) Well, if you want a hint . . . read on!


    Daughterofflame - WOW. Please don't tell me that's the end!!!

    It's not. :)

    Well, if it is, I must say I'm sad for it to end, but that's one of the best short fics I've read.
    Great job with it either way, Dana.


    Didn't ANYBODY pay attention to what I said last chapter? "There are three chapters left after this."! Well, okay, now it's down to two . . .


    Master_Jaina1011 - so first you kill jacen and anakin at the same time . . . wait no you killed kyp then you send him back in time . . . then you killed everyone else in the galaxy imaginable . . . and supposedly kill kyp and jaina . . .

    Uh-huh.

    how could i not like it!!! for some weird reason it reminds me of the butterfly effect . . . hmm . . idea . . .

    Everyone keeps saying that . . . But I had this planned out well before I even heard of that movie.

    new post soon?

    Yep. Post immediately following this. Unless someone posts while I'm replying . . .


    Jilly - Great post Dana. The last few chapters should be interesting to see what you do.

    I hope they're interesting. I always have a hard time finishing because I don't want the ending to be a let down, and I don't . . . want to let go.


    Jez (again) - get it posted. or i will be force to show up at your house and shoot banana cream pies at you.

    LOL! Okay, okay, here it is!


    padme-96 - :_| :_| :_| : _| :_|

    I will not say, do not weep, for not all tears are an evil . . .

    But it's not that bad! Geez! [face_laugh]


    Dana
  14. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    Two chapters left after this.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    --Chapter Eleven--


    With all that's within you
    Be my savior
    And I'll be your downfall

    -- Matchbox Twenty, "Downfall"


    Coruscant
    30 Years after the Battle of Yavin

    Jaina sagged into the arms of her twin, too stunned to speak. Her mind was a whirl. She *knew* that she was inside the ship, where Jacen had just battled Onimi, but she felt the searing heat on her skin of the planet-destroying blast, felt Kyp's arms around her, remembered his touch on her skin. Her legs weren't working, she had to be carried.

    She was barely aware of her surroundings as they got into the escape pod. All she could see was Kyp's face.

    ----------

    Between Zonama Sekot and Coruscant
    30 Years after the Battle of Yavin

    With a gasp, Kyp convulsed, opening his eyes to a star-filled sky . . . and the cockpit of his fighter. He was alive . . . the Force was in him again, pouring through him, filling every cell of his body until he was nearly dizzy with it . . . and he was in the middle of the battle for Coruscant.

    His hands trembled as he reached for the controls, trying desperately to sort out the tangle of thoughts in his mind.

    But all he could think of was Jaina.

    ----------

    Zonama Sekot
    30 Years after the Battle of Yavin

    Jaina spent several hours in a bacta tank, and then rested in her bed on Zonama Sekot. She was avoiding Kyp, not sure what she'd do or say when she saw him.

    In the moment she'd reached out, and felt him . . . leave . . . It was like she'd been inundated with the memories of another life, but one she knew she hadn't lived.

    But the memories were as real to her as this room.

    She could recall his hands on her as clearly as she felt the sheets covering her. She remembered with crystal clarity her parents' deaths, seeing her brothers die.

    It wasn't real . . . was it?

    She wondered if she'd gone crazy.

    -----

    Kyp lay on his cot, staring at the ceiling, trying not to think of Jaina, not to remember the feel of her next to him, the warmth of her skin. It was impossible, because every time he closed his eyes, he saw her . . . This Jaina, or the other one, irrevocably intertwined. He loved both of them . . . and now that he'd held her, he had to live with twice the loss, because she belonged to another, and he would never hold her again.

    He'd talked with Han, unable to shake the residue of memories that he knew he should have . . . couldn't have, because it wasn't real. It had not been real!

    It was only his imagination, a dream . . . a horrible, unending nightmare. It had to be, because he didn't have any of his scars from . . . his alternate life.

    It didn't lessen the pain of losing Jaina all over again.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    Dana
  15. Daughterofflame Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 11, 2003
    star 4
    Ok, now I'm happy. You still leave all that happened, but I have my Jacen back. :D And Kyp and Jaina aren't dead!!!!! Ok, yeah, so I'm a dumb idiot. I tend to miss little details like "three more chapters" . :p :D
    ~*~Austyn
  16. ShortySC22 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 18, 2002
    star 1
    Oh yes, I'm sticking around. This was a good post of turning the story around, I'm not particularly fond of this technique, but you handled it well. What is next for Jaina and Kyp?
  17. SaberBlade Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 19, 2001
    star 3
    Oh, Dana, you nailed it. This one little line or two that absolutely made me melt:

    This Jaina, or the other one, irrevocably intertwined. He loved both of them . . . and now that he'd held her, he had to live with twice the loss, because she belonged to another, and he would never hold her again.

    ::Sigh:: off to go think mushy thoughts.

    -Saber
  18. Babi_Tahiri Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 29, 2003
    star 1
    I've said it before and I'll say it again: You. Are. So. GOOD! I love reading your stories. There's always so much to take in. Can't wait for the rest!

    ~^~ Tahiri ~^~
  19. Thrawn McEwok Co-Author: Essential Guide to Warfare

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 9, 2000
    star 6
    Dana: There'd BETTER not be! That's just . . . eeeeewwwwww!

    [face_laugh]

    Well, that wasn't exactly the idea, but it kinda works. I just had to wonder what would happen if everyone in the galaxy was wiped out except for two Jedi . . . would the Force still be there? I've been messing with that idea since reading "Rebirth" the first time.

    Simple answer - the YV have always been in the Force... it's just the Jedi that can't see them...

    Nope!

    Yay! Kinda a cop-out... but yay! :D

    - The Imperial Ewok
  20. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    Yay! Kinda a cop-out... but yay!

    Considering I wrote from Chapter 11 on FIRST . . . no, it's not a cop-out. I wrote the end before I wrote the beginning. :p


    Dana
  21. Risste Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 26, 2001
    star 3
    I hoped very much that it would continue to develop this way.

    Masterfully done :)
  22. JainaDurron Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 8, 2002
    star 4
    So far so good, Dana. :) I loved it.

    ~~Jilly
  23. Jez_3-14159265358979 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 13, 2001
    star 4
    Much better Dana. Now you just have to get them back together. and i wasn't angry, this story is just twisted.

    Jez
  24. Thrawn McEwok Co-Author: Essential Guide to Warfare

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 9, 2000
    star 6
    Dana: Considering I wrote from Chapter 11 on FIRST . . . no, it's not a cop-out. I wrote the end before I wrote the beginning. :p

    Okay, so you cheated? ;) :p

    - The Imperial Ewok
  25. Flaming_Sword Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 18, 2003
    star 2
    OOOO!!! What happened!!!!!Great Job!
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