Beyond "Downfall" (K/J, NJO AU) **COMPLETED 09 March!!**

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Dantana Skywalker, Feb 18, 2004.

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  1. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
  2. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    Daughterrofflame - Ok, now I'm happy. You still leave all that happened, but I have my Jacen back. And Kyp and Jaina aren't dead!!!!! Ok, yeah, so I'm a dumb idiot. I tend to miss little details like "three more chapters" .

    No, no, it was easy to miss, stuck at the end of the replies like it was.


    ShortySC22 - Oh yes, I'm sticking around. This was a good post of turning the story around, I'm not particularly fond of this technique, but you handled it well. What is next for Jaina and Kyp?

    Thank you. And as for K and J . . . Keep reading and you'll see.

    SaberBlade - Oh, Dana, you nailed it. This one little line or two that absolutely made me melt:

    This Jaina, or the other one, irrevocably intertwined. He loved both of them . . . and now that he'd held her, he had to live with twice the loss, because she belonged to another, and he would never hold her again.

    ::Sigh:: off to go think mushy thoughts.


    I ALMOST ended the chapter with that, but at the last moment, decided not to. It's one of my favourite passages out of the whole story.


    Babi_tahiri - I've said it before and I'll say it again: You. Are. So. GOOD! I love reading your stories. There's always so much to take in. Can't wait for the rest!

    Thanks. :) After this, you'll find chapter 12. Hope you enjoy.


    Thrawn - Well, I've already said what I have to say on that. And no, it wasn't cheating! I just write things the way they come to me. This time, it happened to be ending-first.


    Risste - I hoped very much that it would continue to develop this way. Masterfully done

    Thanks. :)


    Jilly - So far so good, Dana. I loved it.

    And if you're like me, you'll like the last two chapters, too. ;)


    Jez - Much better Dana. Now you just have to get them back together. and i wasn't angry, this story is just twisted.

    This is ME! You were expecting anything ELSE?


    Flaming_Sword - OOOO!!! What happened!!!!!Great Job!

    Thanks. Uh, as for what happened . . . I still don't know.


    Chapter 12 follows, stay tuned.
  3. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5

    This is the next-to-last chapter. Only one more after this. And no, not planning a sequel.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    --Chapter Twelve--


    Now I'm back on my own
    Hear my feet, they're made of stone
    Man, I make you go where I go

    -- Matchbox Twenty, "Downfall"


    Zonama Sekot
    30 Years after the Battle of Yavin

    Just when Kyp thought he wouldn't be able to stand the memories any longer, they began to fade.

    It tormented him, how all of his memories of Jaina were leaving him . . . and he couldn't decide if he wanted them to stay or to go. He didn't want to give them up, but knew that not having them would make things easier, would ease his pain.

    He was thinking about this as he watched the snow falling, and the couple that stood in it, embracing and oblivious to him. As Jaina and Jag kissed, Kyp remembered kissing her, making love to her, holding her in a similar snowfall . . . on what planet, he couldn't remember.

    Then Jag walked away, leaving Jaina staring after him, and Kyp felt the icy wind freeze the tears on his face.

    ----------

    Jaina bumped into Kyp as she was headed back from the Falcon to make sure she'd gathered everything. She stared at him for several moments, then said, "Hi."

    Kyp couldn't speak at first, but he forced himself to ask, "How are you?"

    "Good. Still recovering from whatever it was Onimi did to me, though." Jaina rolled her shoulders. "Trying to decide what to do next, though, you know? No more war. Kinda . . . leaves me floating."

    "I know what you mean." He ached to touch her, to feel the warm ivory of her skin, to kiss her lips. He held his arms at his sides.

    "At least you've got the Council. I don't even have a squadron. They've given Twin Suns to Jag. How are your Dozen?"

    "Disbanded. Not feeling much like being a vigilante."

    Jaina held her breath, no sure what to say. Finally, she exhaled and said, "Well, I guess I'll see you on Denon. I've got a few errands to run around the sector, and then a short trip to Ossus. Stuff like that."

    "It's back to Mon Cal for my things," Kyp said. "And then to Denon. Council's already got me an apartment there."

    "That's nice of them, considering they once hated you." She grinned, then hesitated. Something about what she'd just said bothered her.

    He felt his throat tighten. He had to get away, before he did or said anything . . . "I've got to run. I'll see you soon, I guess."

    Jaina took a step forward as Kyp started walking away. "Kyp," she blurted. "This is going to sound crazy, but . . . I need you to tell me something."

    He stopped and turned, one raven brow lifted in question.

    She swallowed, hard, then took a deep breath, and asked, "For some reason, I'm having trouble remembering. On Sernpidal . . . Did you kiss me?"

    Kyp stopped breathing.

    Jaina stared at him, feeling his shock rolling off him. "Say something," she begged.

    "You remember?" he breathed.

    The tension left her in a rush. "You remember? Then I'm . . . I thought I was crazy."

    He walked back. "Jaina, I . . . We need to talk. I don't really know what to say."

    "You think I do?" She looked up at him. "What happened to us?"

    "I don't have a clue, Jaina." He was studying her. "How much . . . How much do you remember?"

    She hesitated, then reached her hand out to him. "Everything," she whispered. "Everything."

    His hand hovered just a breath away from hers. "Goddess," he murmured.

    "Princess Leia! I've located Mistress Jaina!"

    Kyp's hand dropped, and Jaina almost fell. They both turned as Threepio toddled forward, Jaina's parents just coming around a corner.

    She looked at Kyp fleetingly. He nodded, and took a step back.

    "Meet me when you've thought about it," he whispered. "You'll know where."

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Don't ya just wanna kill 3PO? [face_devil]


    Dana
  4. EBrooklynW Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2003
    star 1
    Darn Threepio! He ruins my mush!
    Gimmie mush please! and Jaina's undying declaration of her love for Kyp. That would be great. Yeah.

    ~EBW
  5. JainaDurron Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 8, 2002
    star 4
    Where the hell is my saber? I am gonna shishkabob that droid...

    ~~Jilly
  6. SaberBlade Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 19, 2001
    star 3
    Shiskabob the DROID? No no no, the author... just kidding, but man that was an evil cliffhanger, Dana. Thanks for telling me you posted.

    I adore the fact how Kyp doesn't want to have to remember what he did but that he doesn't want to lose those memories because they were precious to him.

    And K/J interaction... :[face_sigh]: you write the two of them very well.

    -Saber
  7. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
  8. Jez_3-14159265358979 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 13, 2001
    star 4
    They should have left him in the scrap pile on Bespin!!!

    Jez

    ps lol jk! what would we do without our 3po?
  9. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    EBW - Darn Threepio! He ruins my mush! Gimmie mush please! and Jaina's undying declaration of her love for Kyp. That would be great. Yeah.

    Okay!


    Jilly - Where the hell is my saber? I am gonna shishkabob that droid...

    Hee hee hee! I'm surprised no one has by now.


    SaberBlade - Shiskabob the DROID? No no no, the author... just kidding, but man that was an evil cliffhanger, Dana. Thanks for telling me you posted.

    Yeah, well, if you kill me, I can't write anything, can I?

    I adore the fact how Kyp doesn't want to have to remember what he did but that he doesn't want to lose those memories because they were precious to him.

    Exactly.

    And K/J interaction... :[face_sigh]: you write the two of them very well.

    Thanks. :) I've had enough experience by now . . .


    Jez - They should have left him in the scrap pile on Bespin!!! ps lol jk! what would we do without our 3po?

    Probably have a lot more fun! ;)


    Dana
  10. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    Well, it's been an interesting ride. Thanks for putting up with my evilness, guys. :)

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    --Chapter Thirteen--


    Well, hell, you, can I take you home
    Well, I'm coming home on my back
    Kissing me, your lips painted black
    Let me be your downfall

    -- Matchbox Twenty, "Downfall"


    Deyer
    30 Years after the Battle of Yavin

    He was standing on a balcony, in a little house on a hillside, overlooking the village under the predawn sky, when she walked in.

    He didn't turn when she came to stand beside him. "'Bout time you got here."

    "Had to say good-bye to someone."

    "How is Jag?"

    "He's good. More than a little confused, but he'll survive." Jaina looked up at Kyp, her brown eyes earnest. "What now, Kyp? After what we've seen?"

    Kyp shrugged. He turned to gaze at her, green eyes unreadable. It was still something of a shock to see Jaina without the shorter, fly-away hair. "Whatever we want, I guess. I'm still trying to understand it myself."

    Jaina brushed her hair back over her shoulder. "It's so strange, to have these two sets of memories. I almost don't know what's real and what isn't."

    Kyp looked down at their joined hands. They stood exactly as they'd left each other before. "I know. But we're the only ones who remember the other. Me kissing you after Sernpidal. Everything at Hapes, and Borleias. The way it all went down in the end. We're the only ones who have those memories. It exists only within us. This is the reality. 365 trillion deaths. Coruscant reclaimed."

    "I lost my brother twice," she said quietly. "And once, I lost both of them."

    His fingers tightened on hers. "I know."

    "I felt you die," she said suddenly. "Not just at the end, but . . . before. On Coruscant, when Onimi was holding me captive. Just before Jacen rescued me. I felt you die."

    "I didn't, though," Kyp mused. "That was part of it, as well. My ship never took a hit. I guess . . . the Force needed me to think I'd died. I still don't know why it showed us what it did."

    Jaina placed her hand on his chest. "I feel I've lived two lifetimes. Like I've lived through two wars."

    "You have. Two very different wars."

    "Do you think . . . that our not being together is what saved us, here? Our . . . need to be together there led to so much death. You wanted to stop my pain, save Anakin, and it . . . cost us everything."

    Kyp exhaled slowly. "Good question. I . . . think it was. We weren't meant to be together. Then."

    "What about now?"

    "Now? Well . . . There isn't a war on. All I've got ahead of me for the foreseeable future is a slew of boring advisory meetings."

    "And I'm not with Twin Suns anymore . . ." Jaina trailed off. "I . . . still have feelings for Jag."

    "I know."

    "But I . . . I remember what we were. You and me."

    "So do I. I remember the way you feel. The way you taste." His green eyes were searching, boring into hers. "I think I'm losing my grasp on it, though. Details are leaving. Except for those last hours. I think I'll always remember that."

    Kyp reached up and placed his hand over hers, where it rested over his heart.

    "I don't want to repeat what happened before," she began. "It's . . . in the past. No matter how you look at it."

    Jaina swallowed, then said, "I want . . . I want to . . . start over. Here."

    "I thought you said falling in love with your mentor wasn't sane."

    "You're not my mentor, Kyp. You're my guide. My . . . my other half."

    "So you could fall in love with me?"

    "You know I can," she said, voice turning shaky. "You know that I . . ."

    Her voice cracked, broke, and she stopped, looking down at their hands.

    He brought his hand up and cupped her cheek. "Here and now, Jaina. Can you love me here and now? The me that I am, not the me I was. Not then. Now. The real me. Even after the memories are gone?"

    "I . . ." She wetted her lips, then asked, "Can you love me? Not the girl you kissed at Sernpidal. The w
  11. EBrooklynW Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2003
    star 1
    That's beautiful *tears up*

    I didn't like the feelings for jag, and i could make several statements towards jag's character that aren't kind, but i'll refrain.

    It's been great seeing you finish a story ;) I really enjoyed it!

    Keep up the good work, well not on this story, but on others... you know?

    ~EBW

    Chocolate covered Kyppies for you!
  12. SaberBlade Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 19, 2001
    star 3
    WOW, Dana. Simply WOW.

    "I . . ." She wetted her lips, then asked, "Can you love me? Not the girl you kissed at Sernpidal. The woman that stands before you? I don't want you to love me because of what . . . what we had. I don't ever want that hell again. Can you love me here and now?"

    "I always have. Even when I was in your arms, I didn't stop loving you."


    ::melts::

    Wow. SO well done. I enjoyed seeing the comparison of two lives lived. And the last line...

    ::melts more::

    This was excellent. All hail to Dana.

    -Saber
  13. The_Jedi_Ambyr-Rose Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 24, 2003
    star 4
    I've been lurking...I'm a Z/Jer that hasn't let go...but I read ALL your K/J fics...I'm hooked on your writing.

    Take it from a published poet: You are awesome!

    I just can't be converted...I'm too set in my ways! I know, I'm almost 15, but I am not too grown up yet and can still believe in Z/J! And, I'm A/T ALL THE WAY, THROUGH AND THROUGH. I will be an A/T writer first and always.

    I'll tell you this much: Nothing in the world could make me like Jag. Ever. No way. I don't care how good the plot, imagery, and/or dialogue is. It's either Kyp or Zekk. Of course, there's always the highway...

    I loved this fic and I'm looking foward to more!

    With love,

    ~*Ambyr-Rose*~
  14. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    Got news for ya . . .

    I was Z/J up until I read "Rebirth", which was . . . when I was 20. So you could definitely change.

    Thanks, guys. :) I'll have more in-depth responses later, it's bed time for me now. :)

    Dana
  15. JainaDurron Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 8, 2002
    star 4
    Beautiful ending, Dana. :)

    ~~Jilly
  16. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    EBW - That's beautiful *tears up*

    Thanks. :) I personally thought it was a little weird, but . . . yeah, I guess so.

    I didn't like the feelings for jag, and i could make several statements towards jag's character that aren't kind, but i'll refrain.

    Well, Jaina DOES have feelings for Jag . . . which I, y'know, don't agree with, but they're there, and they wouldn't just suddenly go *POOF*! when she realises how she feels about Kyp. BUUUUUUUT . . . . who did she choose at the end? It wasn't Jag!

    It's been great seeing you finish a story I really enjoyed it!

    I've enjoyed finishing, too, though it's been hard to let go.

    Keep up the good work, well not on this story, but on others... you know?

    Yes, and I think I know exactly what ones you're referring to. ;)

    Chocolate covered Kyppies for you!

    Ooh, chocolate!


    SaberBlade - WOW, Dana. Simply WOW.

    Wow that I finished, or wow that it was good? ;)

    "I . . ." She wetted her lips, then asked, "Can you love me? Not the girl you kissed at Sernpidal. The woman that stands before you? I don't want you to love me because of what . . . what we had. I don't ever want that hell again. Can you love me here and now?"

    "I always have. Even when I was in your arms, I didn't stop loving you."

    ::melts::


    That part got me, too.

    Wow. SO well done. I enjoyed seeing the comparison of two lives lived. And the last line...

    ::melts more::


    Thanks. I just adore the last line of it. Since I wroet that before I wrote the scene on Zonama Sekot, where 3PO interrupts, I couldn't have mush there because I really wanted to keep that line, so . . .

    This was excellent. All hail to Dana.

    [face_blush]


    The_Jedi_Ambyr-Rose - I loved this fic and I'm looking foward to more!

    Thank you. :) And I really don't care what, uh, "orientation" you are, so long as you like the work. :)


    Jilly - Beautiful ending, Dana.

    Thanks. You don't think it was too abrupt, do you? I kind of feel it was . . .


    Dana
  17. Babi_Tahiri Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 29, 2003
    star 1
    AWWWW *claps* yay!! Simply beautiful ending! Thankies!!
  18. ShortySC22 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 18, 2002
    star 1
    That was a beautiful way to end it. I really liked how Kyp and Jaina handled it and I just thought it was really well-ended. Like you could add more, but it's nice and complete the way it is. ^_^ Hmmm, what story could you possibly work on next?
  19. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    Babi_Tahiri - AWWWW *claps* yay!! Simply beautiful ending! Thankies!!

    Thank you. :)


    ShortySC22 - That was a beautiful way to end it. I really liked how Kyp and Jaina handled it and I just thought it was really well-ended. Like you could add more, but it's nice and complete the way it is. ^_^ Hmmm, what story could you possibly work on next?

    I briefly toyed with the idea of a sequel, but then I had to wonder what the point would be. I did everything I set out to do. And really, I didn't see the point in taking it further.

    I'm happy that it tied in together so well, since, when I wrote the end, I had no idea what the heck I was talking about with any of it, it all just kinda came out while I was typing.

    As fro what I'll work on now . . . Well, I've got "Aftershock" which I REALLY need to finish, so I can start on its sequel, "Moment of Weakness". MOW is my favourite of the trilogy. And if you like twisted, you'll want to keep up with that one. :D

    I also have to work on "When The Tide Comes", "Not Of This Fold", and keep you guys supplied with a songfic every now and then. ;) I should also probably finish "No Use Wondering" one of these days . . . as soon as I get myself to watch "The Phantom Menace" again.


    Dana
  20. Jez_3-14159265358979 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 13, 2001
    star 4
    sorry about the late reply dana. wow, powerful story. somehow i can always see a little of me in k/js. that must be why i like them so much.

    Jez
  21. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    Jez - sorry about the late reply dana. wow, powerful story. somehow i can always see a little of me in k/js. that must be why i like them so much.

    That's okay. :) I think . . . I dunno, in a way, I identify with them, too. But more with Kyp, I think.

    Dana
  22. Daughterofflame Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 11, 2003
    star 4
    I can't believe it has taken me this long to reply! I'm such a bad reader. :( Wow. I hate to repeat what everyone else has said, but it's just the truth. :) I loved this fic. So well written, and with such an original plot! I hate for it to end, but even in that you have surpassed my expectations. :) As for a sequel, I think the ending has enough closure as it is. no need to fix what was never broken.

    Great job.

    ~*~ Austyn
  23. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    I can't believe it has taken me this long to reply! I'm such a bad reader.

    There are others who haven't read the whole thing yet. Will not name names, but one begins with "Belly" and ends with "up". :p (Where ARE you??? I know you're back!!)


    Wow. I hate to repeat what everyone else has said, but it's just the truth. I loved this fic. So well written, and with such an original plot!

    Thank you. :) It's nice to know I can come up with something that hasn't been done a bazillion times on the boards.


    I hate for it to end, but even in that you have surpassed my expectations. As for a sequel, I think the ending has enough closure as it is. no need to fix what was never broken.

    I know. Part of me wants to write about them on Deyer . . . but I don't want to mess up what I have so far. It's the author's curse. We're never quite satisfied . . . and we never "finish", we "abandon". LOL

    BTW, for those of you reading "Not Of This Fold", I updated. And it's mushy.

    Dana
  24. Bellyup Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2002
    star 4
    *slinks in with head down and arms full of chocolate Kyppies*

    I deposit my offering and my apologies!!

    *soft chants of Ewok 'odah's*

    I have good excuses!! A million piano competitions that I didn't get to participate in anyway because of...chicken pox!! *bursts into tears* I'm still feeling miserable, itchy, and exhausted. And MAD because I worked so hard to prepare for my competitions and then I didn't even get to see how they would have turned out! :mad:

    But anyway...

    :eek:

    This has been such an unusual story! I luuv different 'tuff and t'ings! The more unpredictable, the better I like it.

    Unless its like, too unreal...

    But no--this was fantastic. And that last line... *sniff* So sweet and clever!! Great job Dana! :D
  25. Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    star 5
    Bellyup - *slinks in with head down and arms full of chocolate Kyppies*

    Ooh, Kyppies!

    I deposit my offering and my apologies!!

    Hey, no need to apologise!

    *soft chants of Ewok 'odah's*

    LOL!

    I have good excuses!! A million piano competitions that I didn't get to participate in anyway because of...chicken pox!! *bursts into tears* I'm still feeling miserable, itchy, and exhausted. And MAD because I worked so hard to prepare for my competitions and then I didn't even get to see how they would have turned out!

    I'm sorry! That totally sucks! I had chicken pox over Christmas Break when I was 7 . . . didn't even get to miss school. I would imagine it's the same feeling. ;) Chicken pox is horrible. I hope you get better soon!

    This has been such an unusual story! I luuv different 'tuff and t'ings! The more unpredictable, the better I like it.

    Thanks. :)

    Unless its like, too unreal...

    I tried to keep it from being that. I HOPE I succeeded.

    But no--this was fantastic. And that last line... *sniff* So sweet and clever!! Great job Dana!

    Thank you. :) Now you go get better! Here, take some Kyppies with you. :)


    Dana
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