Beyond - Legends Downward Spiral: The Diary of Syal Antilles - 2011 Dear Diary Challenge - Complete 12/31

!!

Sighs.

And it's such a lovely serene sounding place and one where the family was together and relaxed plus being in gorgeous surroundings --

Hot chocolate and a romance novel and those sunsets

Daala's a piece of work -- 'course, Borsky was not much better

 

Celchu's Astrogation Final of Doom.

LOL. I'm sure, knowing Tycho, it was a doozy.

They instructed me to "Describe in as much detail a place where you feel comfortable and happy."

Before I even read further I thought "X-wing cockpit!"

I guess the first place I would have thought of would be the cockpit of my X-Wing.

See! Typical fighter jockeys. I bet Luke Skywalker, even after all these years, feels pretty happy in an X-wing cockpit, too.

University of Corellia.

Why do I get the feeling that UC is number one on the list of galaxy's best party schools?

Daddy insisted I pay for part of it, though.

Of course he did. Wedge would be one of those parents wanting Syal to get a taste of the real world.

sipping from a hot drink that Uncle Luke had introduced to Myri and myself a few years earlier.

Awwwwwww, she calls him Uncle Luke, too!

I loved that place. It's really a shame we can never go back there, not with the tensions between the Alliance and Corellia. Not to mention Daddy's little defecting to the Jedi's side stunt during the war. The Corellian government has all but disowned Daddy and, by extension, the rest of our family. We're not welcome back there and we probably won't be until Chief Daala convinces them to reunify with the rest of the Alliance.

I'm not holding my breath.

It's sad. I'm never going back. I'm not going to see the sunset and the falling snow. I'm not going to get to sit down by the fireplace and read the trashy romance novellas I snatched from Mom while she wasn't looking. That was a place where I really was comfortable. I was actually happy there.

And I'm never going to see it again.

That's...really, really sad. I hate that the Corellians can't be Corellians anymore. Stupid Legacy of the Force....

Damn you, Lane.

 

That was beautifully and organically developed. Well done.

 

I feel bad for her and how stuck she must feel, but there has to be a good reason she needs to talk like this. I liked how she discussed leaving university for starfighting. I'm sure her father did eventually understand quite well. I also really like how you're developing her personality with her interjections. They're lots of fun. Good stuff!

 

THANK YOU!!!!

Yes, Syal would definitely have issues after what she's been through. Thank you for addressing that.

And, of course, for writing about my favourite Star Wars family again. The Antilles' rock! Wedge seriously would be the perfect father figure.

Does anyone else see Tycho having a fatherly sort of relationship with Syal? Like Winter was like a mother to the Solo kids? Winter and Tycho never had their own children (*lame, profic!*), so maybe Tycho has that with Syal? Just a thought.

Every time I read about Syal (Daddy's Girl), I find myself wanting to focus on Myri... She got even less page time than Syal! Although she was uber-awesome in pointing out where the plot was going in LotF. To the Solos and Skywalkers, no less!

Sorry, I've totally tangented there. Your writing is wonderful, your voices are brilliant and your approach to the topic is superb. It's a difficult subject, but the way you've phrased it is perfect.

And you totally deserve an Allston Award!

 

Briannakin

Okay. This is my first time going a long review. It?s gong to suck because I?ve been up for 20 hours. Here we go.

I think my most memorable long reviews have been the ones where I'm delirious because I haven't slept in ages

--I got a job flying a freight speeder and every credit I put towards my University fund, Daddy matched with four of his own.

I hate this. As a person who will be a starving University student in a few months, I just hate this. My mother is making me pay for all of my schooling [would you expect anything less from Daala (see signature - seriously, the woman who gave birth to me is Daala)]. So this just brings up all my current worries and makes me MAD.

In my personal head canon, I think Syal would have gone to school even if she couldn't come up with the money. What Wedge was trying to do was instill a work ethic and the value of currency. He wanted to make sure that she could handle going off and living on her own at school.

For him, the goal was never to make her pay for it. It was to help her learn some other life lessons.

-- (something about tauntaun stew, I don't think I'm allowed to talk about in detail)

Han?s taun taun stew?

Or Wedge's roast taun taun (which rumor says hospitalized half of Rogue Squadron)

Aww! But let?s just hope Uncle Luke taught them the necessity of the Tim Tam Slam.

That one probably came from Uncle Wes

Yeah, don?t. Daala is going through menopause and just wants to inflict pain and suffering more than usual.

Really authors? Daala is the best you could come up with for the Chief of State? *Grumblemutter*

I can really sense Syal?s emotions. It sucks to be treated like you?re seriously mentally ill when all you are is just a bit unstable (?are you okay? and ?how do you feel? does drive you bonkers after awhile) but she does need the help and I?m glad she is getting it.

It's really brutal what Syal is going through. I've been there, the repeated questions do start to drive you up the wall before long.

But yes, she does need help

Hazel - That really is so very sad! Poor girl just can't catch a break

Jade_eyes

And it's such a lovely serene sounding place and one where the family was together and relaxed plus being in gorgeous surroundings

That's a bit of me speaking there. I'd much rather spend a vacation in a snowy lodge by the fire than anywhere else

Daala's a piece of work -- 'course, Borsky was not much better

Oh Borsky, how I loathed you so

Nanci

-- Celchu's Astrogation Final of Doom.

LOL. I'm sure, knowing Tycho, it was a doozy.

I imagine Tycho gave the most brutal assessments in the Academy

See! Typical fighter jockeys. I bet Luke Skywalker, even after all these years, feels pretty happy in an X-wing cockpit, too

Oh you know Luke feels happy in the cockpit. Once a flyboy, always a flyboy!

Why do I get the feeling that UC is number one on the list of galaxy's best party schools?

Nah, UC is a respectable school. Now Corellia Planetary University (CPU) is the party school

-- Daddy insisted I pay for part of it, though.

Of course he did. Wedge would be one of those parents wanting Syal to get a taste of the real world.

Instill some life lessons before moving out. A very Wedge thing to do

-- sipping from a hot drink that Uncle Luke had introduced to Myri and myself a few years earlier.

Awwwwwww, she calls him Uncle Luke, too!

I maintain that Wedge and Luke remained extremely close through the years. Only makes sense that Luke has become part of the Antilles adopted family.

That's...really, really sad. I hate that the Corellians can't be Corellians anymore. Stupid Legacy of the Force....

Don't even get me started

Solo_and_fel - Thank you! While the entries aren't always going to be this angsty and emotional, I'm hoping I can hit on some heartstrings with this fic.

Luna_Nightshade - Poor Syal does need to talk all t

 

Log Entry: 03. Created 6-3-44

Myri came to visit today.

She does that every now and then, though I suspect it's because mom tells her to drop by and check up on me. Whenever she's here we usually just spend a half-hour awkwardly rubbing the backs of our necks and trying to find something to talk about. It's not hard to tell that she really doesn't want to be here, visiting me. She clams up and stares at the table-top the entire time, never looking right at me. I mean, I get why she doesn't walk to talk to her crazy sister. What are you supposed to say? "So have you tried to kill yourself lately?"

The atmosphere doesn't help either. Visitors are funneled into the mess are during designated times, so I'm in here with all of the other head-cases. If I were in Myri's position, I'd be pretty damn uncomfortable myself. A few weeks ago when she came to visit, one of the other ward patients launched into a hysterical screaming fit. That seemed to spook Myri something fierce. Really though, what am I supposed to do? I'm here amongst the legitimately troubled, how do I convince her that I'm fine and that she can stop giving me that sympathetic look when she walks into the room?

(You know the look, that half-smile someone gives you while at the same time refusing to make eye contact. I hate that look)

So that's how our visits usually go. Myri does her best to make small talk by telling me about the plasball scores or how daddy somehow managed to get in trouble with Uncle Wes again. I indulge her conversation and try my best not to notice how quickly she leaves the place when her allotted visiting time is over. Repeat the cycle every week or so. You know what kills me? It's never been like this with us. We may have gotten into our fair share of arguments growing up, but at least we were open with each other.

That's probably why I lodged my foot firmly in my mouth today.

In our course of small-talk, Myri brought up that she had just gotten into a relationship with a Lieutenant Derimor. I should probably preface this, my sister has a problem with the men she dates. I like to call it her Reclamation Boyfriend Project of the Week (the RBPW whenever I'm on the comlink with mom). She has absolutely horrid taste in men, always going for the bad boys because she has some sort of misguided hope that she can fix them. Personally I think she just enjoys their type.

Lieutenant Derimor is but another in a long line of bad choices for her. I remember looking over his profile when I was trying to fill out a squadron vacancy a few months back. That flyboy had a disciplinary record that would have made a convicted felon blush. Insubordination, striking a senior officer, theft, you name it, it was probably on the list. In other words, just the kind of guy Myri would fall head over heels for (and then split up with in a week).

I may be in an institution, but that sure as hell doesn't mean I'm going to refrain from calling out my sister when she's gone and found another jerk to tie herself to.

There's a pattern the two of us typically follow for this specific conversation. Step one starts with me letting Myri drone on for twenty to thirty minutes about how deeply in love she is with her new boyfriend (while I do my best to refrain from groaning, rolling my eyes, or expressing any sort of skepticism of her latest claim). In step two, I calmly tell her that I think she can do better. Well, I think it's calm anyways. Mom and Myri always say I'm too harsh. Daddy's in my camp, though. In any case, from here we proceed to step three, which I can pretty much script at this point.

"You have no idea how I feel about [Insert RBPW Name Here]," she says.

"Myri, you can do so much better," I counter. (Mom insists I don't handle it this calmly. I beg to differ)

"I mean it! He's the one! He's just got a bad reputation, he's a sweetheart."

(You know it's a shame Daala hasn't let Valin Horn out of carbonite yet, Myri used to eye him during get togethers and I'm convinced he's just the boy for my sister)

Step four involves the two of us

 

Excellent post.

Very insightful and true to how things are I think in such situations i.e. Myri's awkwardness when visiting Syal, who is right: How can she convince everyone she's fine --

But I did get a large out of the totally predictable steps of their conversation surrounding Boyfriend Reclamation !!!

I'm getting a very interesting image of Myri: a lady who wants to redeem lost guys or just likes complete and utter scoundrels and still dyes her hair shocking colors with the strangest names like fuschia meets burnt orange.

I can totally believe, though, that Syal does relish these slices of normalcy such as they are

 

Lane, are you sure you're not a girl? Cuz you write sisterly bonds so well and accurately.

how do I convince her that I'm fine and that she can stop giving me that sympathetic look when she walks into the room?

Lie. Lie like you are lying to yourself, girl.

or how daddy somehow managed to get in trouble with Uncle Wes again.

LOL. At least Myri brings Syal some entertainment.

We may have gotten into our fair share of arguments growing up, but at least we were open with each other.

Arguing is MUCH better than awkward convo.

She has absolutely horrid taste in men, always going for the bad boys because she has some sort of misguided hope that she can fix them. Personally I think she just enjoys their type.

I understand Syal's sentiment COMPLETELY!

I may be in an institution, but that sure as hell doesn't mean I'm going to refrain from calling out my sister when she's gone and found another jerk to tie herself to.

GOOOOO SYAL!

(while I do my best to refrain from groaning, rolling my eyes, or expressing any sort of skepticism of her latest claim)

That truly is the hardest part!

(You know it's a shame Daala hasn't let Valin Horn out of carbonite yet, Myri used to eye him during get togethers and I'm convinced he's just the boy for my sister)

OMG! YES! They would have the coolest Antilles/Horn babies! I dont think the galaxy could handle that kind of awesomeness.

(which is absurd, I took a three week shore leave two years ago).

Like father, like daughter... like Uncle Luke.

From this point, we proceed to step six, one of us asking if we can borrow a trashy romance novel from the other.

I can't even attempt to make sense out of that one.

Yeah... I've gone through the six steps myself, and I have yet to figure out the reasoning behind the last one.

We made a terrible scene, scared a number of the orderlies and patients, nearly got security called in on us, and simply made fools out of ourselves.

Two Antilles girls yelling at each other, scaring people... yeah, sounds like me and my sister.

 

That was very funny. I loved the interaction between the sisters, especially the steps of their conversations. I love Syal's dry sense of humor. You can see how much they love each other even through the sarcasm and arguments. Great update!

 

Wow. I love love love your Syal. And Myri... Dear me, her taste is awful. Kudos to Sy for speaking up.

Your writing is fantastic. Even through the snark, the emotion is so clear, so true. Syal and Myri, I have always seen as being so close, despite any differences (well, once they got past the 'Union' phase, anyway). I loved the way you depicted their sisterly bond, and the awkwardness of the situation.

Huzzah for the Antilles girls, and huge hugs for you, for writing them.

 

Wow, Syal and Miry are my cousins... seriously... the only difference is that the oldest hasn't found her way into an institution, yet. Oh, and none is a pilot, in fact, they can barely even drive.

 

Oh Lane. That was really sweet and almost makes me wish I had a sister.

I mean, I get why she doesn't walk to talk to her crazy sister. What are you supposed to say? "So have you tried to kill yourself lately?"

Hey, it's a legitimate question.

(You know the look, that half-smile someone gives you while at the same time refusing to make eye contact. I hate that look)

I know that look.

She has absolutely horrid taste in men, always going for the bad boys because she has some sort of misguided hope that she can fix them. Personally I think she just enjoys their type.

You're probably right, Syal.

There's a pattern the two of us typically follow for this specific conversation. Step one starts with me letting Myri drone on for twenty to thirty minutes about how deeply in love she is with her new boyfriend (while I do my best to refrain from groaning, rolling my eyes, or expressing any sort of skepticism of her latest claim). In step two, I calmly tell her that I think she can do better. Well, I think it's calm anyways. Mom and Myri always say I'm too harsh. Daddy's in my camp, though. In any case, from here we proceed to step three, which I can pretty much script at this point.

And what a funny script it was!

(You know it's a shame Daala hasn't let Valin Horn out of carbonite yet, Myri used to eye him during get togethers and I'm convinced he's just the boy for my sister)

:rant:

(which is absurd, I took a three week shore leave two years ago).

Heh. Heh. Like father, like daughter.

Step five is where we're both so angry we can't even look or speak to each other. This lingers for about fifteen minutes before one of us begrudgingly apologizes, usually because we've made a scene in a public place. From this point, we proceed to step six, one of us asking if we can borrow a trashy romance novel from the other.

I can't even attempt to make sense out of that one.

Sisters! I'm sure they read smutty fanfic together.

True to form, that's exactly how the confrontation played out. The same as it always has, following each of those six steps to perfection. We made a terrible scene, scared a number of the orderlies and patients, nearly got security called in on us, and simply made fools out of ourselves. Truth be told? That was the most refreshing, normal conversation I've had with anyone since I got here. For the first time since I stepped into this damn place, someone treated me like I wasn't crazy. Someone finally bothered to talk to me like a normal human being.

Nothing like a sister to be real with you, right?

(Oh god help me when you have Wedge visit her. I might not be able to get through that entry.)

Myri said she'd be back to visit next week and would bring me a copy of The Willing Jedi Princess.

I want to read this book..

...What?

Don't tell my parents, but I do love that girl.

Psst, Syal...they already know.

 

Jade_eyes

Very insightful and true to how things are I think in such situations i.e. Myri's awkwardness when visiting Syal

Admittedly I'm drawing from the personal experience well here. I was in Syal's position and it used to drive me crazy how people would walk on eggshells around me

How can she convince everyone she's fine

First step for Syal is admitting she's not fine, I'm afraid.

But I did get a large out of the totally predictable steps of their conversation surrounding Boyfriend Reclamation

Poor Myri. She's got such -awful- taste in men!

I'm getting a very interesting image of Myri: a lady who wants to redeem lost guys or just likes complete and utter scoundrels and still dyes her hair shocking colors with the strangest names like fuschia meets burnt orange.

Myri's a bit of a rebel in the family. Syal's much more a by-the-books, regulations type of person. Myri's the out-of-the-box type. Occasionally that rubs her sister the wrong way

I can totally believe, though, that Syal does relish these slices of normalcy such as they are

In these kinds of situations, any kind of normalcy is welcome

Briannakin

Lane, are you sure you're not a girl? Cuz you write sisterly bonds so well and accurately.

*checks* Yup, definitely a guy.

I do have a sister, but there's a fourteen year spread in age so we don't have the close bond that Syal and Myri have.

Thank you for the kind words, though. I don't know why I like writing Syal and Myri so much, but it is a joy

Lie. Lie like you are lying to yourself, girl.

Poor Syal. She's not going to get anywhere until she opens up to herself first

LOL. At least Myri brings Syal some entertainment.

Myri is definitely good for that!

Arguing is MUCH better than awkward convo.

Oh my stars YES. Sooooooo much better and I would gladly take a heated argument over awkwardness any day of the week.

-- She has absolutely horrid taste in men, always going for the bad boys because she has some sort of misguided hope that she can fix them. Personally I think she just enjoys their type.

I understand Syal's sentiment COMPLETELY!

Deep down, Syal knows that her beloved sister can do better.

OMG! YES! They would have the coolest Antilles/Horn babies! I dont think the galaxy could handle that kind of awesomeness.

They would produce children with an incredible snark factor. I'm pretty sure the Galaxy would collapse on itself due to the weight of the sheer AWESOME.

-- (which is absurd, I took a three week shore leave two years ago).

Like father, like daughter... like Uncle Luke.

Part of Syal's problem, I suspect, is that she doesn't have a life outside of work. Without that to structure her life, she's got nothing

Yeah... I've gone through the six steps myself, and I have yet to figure out the reasoning behind the last one.

As a member of the male gender, I'm not even going to attempt to make sense out of it

Two Antilles girls yelling at each other, scaring people... yeah, sounds like me and my sister.

Well, I'm happy I managed to stumble onto something people can relate to!

Luna_Nightshade - Thank you! I have to be honest, despite all of the terrible things going on with Syal, I do enjoy getting into her head and writing her. She's a fascinating character.

Kat

Wow. I love love love your Syal. And Myri... Dear me, her taste is awful. Kudos to Sy for speaking up.

aww thank you! I really am being truthful when I say Syal is my favorite character to write these days. And Myri! She's fun for completely different reasons

(But yes her taste in men is AWFUL)

Your writing is fantastic. Even through the snark, the emotion is so clear, so true. Syal and Myri, I have always seen as being so close, despite any differences (well, once they got past the 'Union' phase, anyway). I loved the way you depicted their sisterly bond, and the awkwardness of the situation.

[face_b

 

I totally forgot to ask for a PM!!!! *slaps own wrist* What is wrong with me?

PM please?

 

Sounds like Myri gives Wedge an extremely difficult time with the men she dates.

Sounds like a fitting argument. If it's not broke, don't fix it.

Great updates!

 

Kat - Absolutely! I've got you added in

Fels

Sounds like Myri gives Wedge an extremely difficult time with the men she dates.

Oh I can only IMAGINE the what's going through Wedge's mind when Myri brings another RBPotW home!

Sounds like a fitting argument. If it's not broke, don't fix it.

Absolutely


Thanks for reading, Fels



New post below. This one isn't nearly as light-hearted, though

 

Programming note: As mentioned in the introduction, Downward Spiral ties into another fic I've been in the process of writing. It is not necessary to read that fic to fully enjoy and understand this one, but if you want to see Syal's backstory in a long-fic format, check out X-Wing: Rogue Diplomacy

~*~

Log Entry: 04. Date: Hell if I know.

There are days when I feel like a terrible person.

Part if it is the fact that this place has me in a constantly foul mood. The food is awful, the doctors and nurses constantly checking up on me is grating on my nerves, and half of the patients here give me the creeps. I know that sounds terrible to say, but there are some really broken individuals here. Two rooms down from me is a pilot that's been here since the end of the Vong war. I only know him by his surname, Thaneo. One of the security guards say he had to punch out over enemy controlled space and wound up spending a few months as a prisoner of war. Poor guy apparently was never the same after that. I can hear him in the middle of the night, screaming in terror, perhaps recalling some horrific torture the Vong inflicted on him. It follows a usual pattern. The screaming starts, three or four orderlies rush past my room, and then all of the sounds become more muffled.

He's probably the worst one off here, but there are plenty of others who are in pretty bad shape. Whenever I'm in the mess or outside trying to get a workout, there's one woman by the name of Elayne that I can't help but notice. She's always got this distant look on her face, staring off at nothing in particular. Once or twice I approached her to try and strike up a conversation (mostly because she was quiet and, on the surface, appeared as if she might be halfway normal). I never got a response back, she'd just continue letting her gaze drift out to the skies above.

Some days it's borderline unbearable. I'm constantly aware that I am surrounded by very sick people, many of which probably won't be getting better any time soon. There are periods when it feels like I'm the only lucid one here. Honestly, I'm not sure how what makes me feel. There's a sick part of me that's grateful for it, a little voice in the back of my head that says at least you're not one of them. Other days it's infuriating. I'm nowhere near as ill as people like Elayne (not that I'm ill at all, mind you).

A part of me sees all of this, recognizes how utterly out of place I am, and just gets mad. What do people think when they find out that I got committed to the mental ward of some VA Hospital? Do they think I'm being restrained by orderlies every night like Thaneo? Do they think that I'm sitting on top of a grassy knoll, expressionless and emotionally dead like Elayne?

That's just Syal Antilles, thought she could fly like her father but couldn't handle the pressure.

I've got a doctor who tells me not to worry about any of this, that I shouldn't worry about what people think about me. It's like the medical staff here forgets that I have a life outside of this damn place. This sounds incredibly shallow, but it really does matter what people think of me. I don't work some 0900 to 1700 desk job. I'm a military combat pilot. I've got subordinates that trust me to be in the right frame of mind. I've got superiors that gave me command of a squadron in part because I demonstrated I had those necessary intangibles to lead twelve sentient beings.

The longer I'm here, the more people are going to start questioning my ability to command. Worse, they'll start questioning my ability to even fly anymore.

Getting a clean bill of health isn't enough for Starfighter Command. Sure, they will be obligated to put me back on an active-duty roster the second that one of my doctors finally gets it through their thick skulls that I'm fine. The problem is that in the back of their mind, there's still a little voice that says "She's not quite right. She's going to go off the deep end again

 

Excellent post and I can really understand Syal's feelings about her own future prospects in her career and the level of sanity she has relative to the worst cases and it's totally natural for her to be grateful she's not as bad off.

 

Wow. I really feel for the poor girl. I understand her emotions completely. Wonderful update.

 

That was heartbreaking, and a very vivid portrait of how we treat individuals who have suffered some kind of mental issue. Mental illnesses still carry a stigma that physical illnesses don't. You really drew out her painful emotions clearly here. Lovely.

 

I have to wonder if being among all those 'loony cases' would make anyone feel better? My guess would be no.

And I completely understand Syal's concerns about her future.


Great update!

 

(not that I'm ill at all, mind you)
A little denial maybe?

Her feelings on being cast aside for her mental health past are expressed perfectly and realistically.

Great update.

 

Date: Hell if I know.

Getting a little bit testy, are you, Syal?

There are days when I feel like a terrible person.

Aye. We all have them.

One of the security guards say he had to punch out over enemy controlled space and wound up spending a few months as a prisoner of war. Poor guy apparently was never the same after that.

Yeah, lots of people were screwed up by the Vong. ::cough:: Jacen and Tahiri ::cough::

There's a sick part of me that's grateful for it, a little voice in the back of my head that says at least you're not one of them.

I'm sure everyone in your position would be doing the comparison game.

That's just Syal Antilles, thought she could fly like her father but couldn't handle the pressure.



A few years back I was trying to staff a handful of openings on my squadron roster. There were a lot of qualified candidates, so I needed some way to pare them all down. One of the things I did was use those medical flags as part of the filter. If there was an issue, chances are I would set aside that pilot's candidacy. The guaranteed way to get disqualified was for there to be any sort of psychological flag. There must have been a dozen applicants I tossed aside because of one little entry that said they had been checked out by a psychologist at some point.

And now I'm confronted with that action, something I did without a second thought. Is that going to be me? Are my superiors going to toss my file aside after I get out of here because I spent a few weeks in a psychiatric hospital? It's dawning on me that those pilots I so casually dismissed probably asked themselves the same questions. Were they ever going to get a fair chance? The answer was no, they wouldn't. At least, they wouldn't get it with me. I wasn't going to be the one who was going to give them the benefit of the doubt.

No, I'm just the girl that's too worried about what other people think of her.

I really am a terrible person.

Yikes. You really are mean to this poor girl, Lane.

But even so, her reaction is very, very real. Nobody in her position would want to deal with possible mental health risks. It's not a good thing to deal with as a Commander (Kell Tainer, anyone?). So she really can't blame anyone for not being willing to take a chance on her. Poor gil.

 

Okay, I actually was trying to respond yesterday, but it wouldn't let me... grr.

That said...

Wow. It really is different from the inside of these issues, isn't it, Sy?

Poor Syal - her musings about how she might be treated after this is over - her musings on how she's treated other people in the past... ouch. And she really isn't wrong on either front. (Except the bit about being a horrible person. There, I think she's wrong.) It's just that pesky 'certain point of view' dilemma. Before, she was only viewing it through 'command goggles' - who is best for this squadron - and judging it through personnel files. Now she's got on the 'now I know what it's like goggles... and it hurts.

Maybe she should talk to Daddy about that second-chance squadron he made way-back-when... and the exact difficulties and trials that went with those with heavy emotional baggage.

Or maybe she should just talk to Daddy... (hint hint, nudge nudge)

Brilliant post, Lane.