Beyond - Legends Downward Spiral: The Diary of Syal Antilles - 2011 Dear Diary Challenge - Complete 12/31

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Lane_Winree, Jan 15, 2011.

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  1. earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Nice to see an update and WOW this sure is difficult to write. PM next update please:)
  2. Hazel Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2010
    star 4
    Wow, that is one angry Corellian Flygirl. :(

    Maybe someone should schedule a visitor for Syal. You know, someone who can knock some sense into her.


    Excellent update, Lane! =D= Hope to see more of them.
  3. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 7
    Excellent update. Anarios has gotten somewhat of an emotional breakthrough I think -- anger is much healthier than apathy [face_thinking]

  4. Briannakin Grand Moff Darth Fanfic & Costuming/Props Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Feb 25, 2010
    star 5
    YAY! An update :) I know how hard writing from personal experiences can be, especially in first person.

    Syal has lost all hope :( That can be a very bad thing.

    However, I like this doctor. Kind of reminds me of my doctor. I ended up in the hospital one night a few years back. He came in and said these exact words: "What the hell have you done this time?"

    I have hopes for this new doctor.
  5. SWpants Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2004
    star 4
    Many people with depression are. It's a coping mechanism they pick up to avoid attention.

    [face_plain] Don't I know it....


    [:D] No worries on the slow update. It's entirely understandable.



    I've been blowing off my sit-downs with doctors, only leave my room to eat. I think the staff has given up on checking on me.

    Wow, I can't believe they're all but ignoring her like that. Unless there's reason for it?
    *shrugs*
    That makes me extremely sad for her.


    This hospital is destroying me.

    :( No surprise there


    She introduced herself as Doctor Anarios, the "newly assigned therapist you've been blowing off for the last two weeks."

    [face_laugh] Oh I think I like her.
    It does sound like she'll be able to help Syal, to get through the girl's thick skull.

    (And what's REALLY funny is that I commented on that line before reading ahead! :p)

    CRAZY CORELLIAN SKULLS!!


    Simple enough, I've been doing that with the rest of the hospital staff for the last few weeks. You'll be no different.

    Likely no different, anyways.


    Ah, uncertainty over the doctor. This is good, this is different.
  6. FelsGoddess Game Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Sep 5, 2004
    star 5
    No one has talked to me like that since I was in flight school.
    Which is probably what she needs. It will be interesting to see what you plan with the new doctor.

    Great update.
  7. alhana_antilles Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Aug 16, 2002
    star 3
    I wonder how long it will be until Syal cracks....

    I'm liking this new therapist. She may just be what Syal needs.
  8. Luna_Nightshade Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jan 25, 2006
    star 5
    I think we might finally have the right person working with Syal to help her out of this mess. But that Corellian head of hers isn't going to make things any easier! But I do hope that they warm up to each other, because I think this psychologist is her only hope of getting out. Great update!
  9. Lane_Winree Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 30, 2006
    star 4
    Earlybird - There are some posts that are definitely more difficult than others!

    Hazel

    Wow, that is one angry Corellian Flygirl.

    Don't mess with an angry Syal. Unless you're willing to be just as stubborn as her.

    Maybe someone should schedule a visitor for Syal. You know, someone who can knock some sense into her.

    A visitor? You may be getting one soon!

    Jade_eyes - Doctor Anarios might be just the thing Syal needs. Tough love, perhaps?

    Briannakin

    I know how hard writing from personal experiences can be, especially in first person.

    There are days when writing this is cathartic. There are others when writing it is extraordinarily uncomfortable

    However, I like this doctor. Kind of reminds me of my doctor. I ended up in the hospital one night a few years back. He came in and said these exact words: "What the hell have you done this time?"

    The key to remember is people respond to different stimuli. The gentle approach wasn't working for Syal, maybe a more tough approach will.

    I have hopes for this new doctor

    Hopefully she can get through to Syal!

    SWpants666

    Wow, I can't believe they're all but ignoring her like that. Unless there's reason for it?
    *shrugs*
    That makes me extremely sad for her.


    There's a reason for it, that'll become clear eventually. Normally they wouldn't give a patient nearly that much space

    Oh I think I like her.
    It does sound like she'll be able to help Syal, to get through the girl's thick skull.


    Sometimes you need stubbornness to fight stubbornness!

    CRAZY CORELLIAN SKULLS!!

    She's certainly got one :D

    Ah, uncertainty over the doctor. This is good, this is different

    At this point, it's time for different.

    Fels

    Which is probably what she needs. It will be interesting to see what you plan with the new doctor.

    A militaristic approach with this doctor might be just the ticket :)

    alhana_antilles

    I wonder how long it will be until Syal cracks....

    At some point, she's going to have to open up. Hopefully she gets there sooner rather than later

    Luna

    I think we might finally have the right person working with Syal to help her out of this mess. But that Corellian head of hers isn't going to make things any easier!

    One of the biggest keys for someone going through therapy like this is to wind up with a therapist that resonates with them. Sadly, that's much easier said than done. But at this point, anger is much better than apathy.


    Thanks for reading all! New post below.

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  10. Lane_Winree Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 30, 2006
    star 4
    Log entry: 12

    Growing up in a military family, I moved around a fair amount. Sure, daddy tried to retire a handful of times, but something always seemed to bring him back. Mom used to say that the Galaxy would probably fall to pieces if he spent more than a week away from an X-Wing or the bridge of a command ship. Granted, given the last decade or so and how badly things have gone for the Galactic Alliance after he retired last time, I'm starting to think mom might have been on to something. Daddy hangs up the helmet and gloves and a civil war breaks out. Go figure.

    I'm starting to notice that these entries have a tendency to get a bit scatter-shot. There was a point I was trying to make here, honest.

    Myri and I spent a lot of time in military-run schools when we were children. Notice the plurality there. Sometimes we were stationed on Coruscant, sometimes we were on a carrier ship of some sort. We'd be there for a few months before one of either mom or daddy got transferred. If we were lucky, both of them would wind up in the same place. If not, Myri and I would be sent with whoever was deemed to have the safer assignment. There was a year or two long stint where mom was permanently transferred to Coruscant and out of active field work. That had been nice, we spent that time in a public school (which was a definite change of pace from the small military classrooms I had spent most of my life in).

    Of course then the Vong showed up, took over Coruscant, and Myri, Mom, and myself barely escaped with our lives. That ended that stretch of stability. A few of daddy's men whisked us off Coruscant, took us to the Republic military base where Daddy was, and then after only a brief amount of time together, Myri and I were hauled aboard the Millennium Falcon (to this day, I will never understand how that bucket of bolts was ever deemed space worthy) and were taken to the worst of any of the schools, planets, or carrier ships I'd ever had the misfortune of being trapped on: Shelter.

    A run-down space station that had once been an Imperial weapons facility situated in the Maw between a few black holes, just the place I wanted to spend the duration of the war. It goes without saying that I was pretty upset to be there. Mom and daddy weren't around, I was stuck with my annoying little sister, and a bunch of other children I didn't know. Worse, a bunch of Jedi children. Now, don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against the Jedi. My problem was that I wasn't the child of a Jedi, and there weren't many of us there. When you're that age, you're painfully aware that, socially, you're on the outside looking in. I was the different one, and I felt like I really couldn't socialize with any of the other children there because I didn't share that trait.

    I remember there was one day in particular where I was feeling a little more sorry for myself than normal. While I was hiding in a corner of the station, one of the few familiar faces there inexplicably decided to track me down. Jamee Farlander was another military rugrat like myself. We'd spent some time on-and-off over the years stationed in some of the same spots with our families, but had never really gotten to know each other. While both of us came from military families, the difference was her dad split duties between the New Republic military and the Jedi Order. Unlike me, she was another one of the Force-sensitive children there.

    At the time I was reading a novel on my datapad (Doctor Anarios calls my reading habits escapism, I respond with an emphatic 'duh') and wasn't in much of a room to talk. Did that stop Jamee? Not at all. She sat down across from me, grabbed the datapad out of my hands and said, "You look mopey. That's not fun. Stop being mopey."

    Maybe it comes with the territory of being young, but that rather blunt introduction was all it took for us to become instant friends, and that was a kinship that lasted far beyond just our time at Shelter. After the war was over and we went our separate ways again, we kept in touch. I'd tell her stories
  11. Briannakin Grand Moff Darth Fanfic & Costuming/Props Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Feb 25, 2010
    star 5
    Sometimes, all a person needs is a small slap upside the head and a friendly face. I'm glad Syal got this.
  12. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 7
    Oh Lane! :* That gave me happy happy chills!

    First the sweet memory of a dear, precious friend kept through the years and then [face_dancing] [face_dancing] !!!!! jamee shows up!

    Talk about your own guardian angel. :D

    @};-

    [:D]

  13. Hazel Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2010
    star 4
    See, that's what I was talking about. :D

    Jamee is a wonderful friend.


    Great update!


  14. SWpants Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2004
    star 4
    I'm starting to notice that these entries have a tendency to get a bit scatter-shot.

    [face_laugh] Sometimes scatter-shot is exactly what's needed to focus the mind.


    yup, the Vong sure ended any stability ANYONE had.


    Doctor Anarios calls my reading habits escapism, I respond with an emphatic 'duh')

    *snerk* isn't it basically that way for everyone?


    You look mopey. That's not fun. Stop being mopey."

    I. Love. Jamee.


    When Tiom proposed to me, who was the first person I told? My best friend Jamee, of course.

    (Not that I would ever tell Daddy first. Oh, some of the dating nightmare stories he created for me)


    [face_laugh] I'm sure!


    Awww Jamee. :) :)
  15. earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Lovely insight in her young life and meeting Jamee who know;)
  16. alhana_antilles Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Aug 16, 2002
    star 3
    What a nice little look into her past and a great way to introduce Jamee.
  17. Lane_Winree Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 30, 2006
    star 4
    Briannakin ? And Syal is in DEFINITE need of a small slap. Thankfully Jamee?s around to apply a bit of slightly tough love :)

    Jade_eyes ? I?m glad I could give you those chills! I?ve got a friend much like Jamee. You?re right, those guardian angels are absolutely precious. Syal definitely needed her.

    Hazel ? Glad you enjoyed! Oh Jamee, you?ve become one of my favorites.

    SWpants666

    Sometimes scatter-shot is exactly what's needed to focus the mind.

    Heaven knows I?ve spent enough of my life acting all scatter-shot!

    yup, the Vong sure ended any stability ANYONE had.

    Just a bit :(

    *snerk* isn't it basically that way for everyone?

    Sure as heck is for me!

    I. Love. Jamee.

    When I created her, I really didn?t expect her to become this important. Boy I?m glad I was wrong!

    Earlybird ? Sort of an instant friendship between those two, huh?

    Alhana_antilles ? I?ve been wanting to cover a bit of Jamee?s backstory for a while. This seemed like a great way to do it!

    Thanks for reading all. New post below!

    PMs heading out shortly. If you would like to be added to the list, please let me know :)

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  18. Lane_Winree Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 30, 2006
    star 4
    Log Entry: 13

    To this day, I'm really not sure how mom did it.

    Daddy was gone so much when Myri and I were younger, leading the Rogues long after one would figure his sell-by date would have past. Although, when you have as much natural ability as he did, you've got a lot more room to decline before being useless. I still have a tough time wrapping my head around his escape from Blackmoon, all while taking on enough Vong coralskippers to make an entire squadron worth of pilots nervous. By himself. As good as I may be behind the flightstick, I'm never going to be that good.

    Between those brief spells of retirement, mom was the one watching out for myself and Myri, and we were a handful. Between my penchant for accidentally destroying property playing "CorSec and Smugglers" and Myri's ability to sweet-talk our neighbors into giving her whatever she wanted, we were both fairly notorious wherever we were living. I still feel a little guilty about the sheer number of apologies that mom had to dole out on our behalf, though I'm still a little bitter about the time I got grounded for two weeks when it was Myri who talked the neighbor's boy into exchanging his model B-Wing for a half-eaten bag of candy.

    We were a handful, and I know it was hard on mom. Trying to balance her career and raise us all while daddy was stuck with the Rogues in Force-knows-what backwater system in an effort to combat the weekly threat to the stability of the New Republic couldn't have been easy on her. Worse, it was tough on my parent's relationship. I don't know if Myri was old enough to remember the shouting matches they would get into occasionally, but I certainly do. She wanted him to retire for good, he would say that he just couldn't. Away from these moments, they both understood why things were they way they were, but they didn't have to like it. Sometimes frustration boiled over. When there's family involved, it's easy to get irrational. They would always patch things up before long, but there was no denying the frustration and uncertainty daddy's position left her in.

    What was and still is remarkable to me, however, was that these moments of outward frustration were incredibly rare. There is probably only one person in the Galaxy that's braver than daddy, and that's mom. You try waiting for a rescue transport while holding off a horde of Vong invaders while your children right behind you, cowering in terror.

    But that isn't to say she was just a hard-nosed, rough and tumble person. She was nurturing. She encouraged both myself and Myri to think well outside of the box when we needed to solve a problem. She was everything you could hope to have out of a mother, save perhaps the fact that she was an intelligence agent and knew exactly when I was lying about something. Let's just say the only reason I have a good sabacc face is because you needed one to survive being raised by mom. But if there was ever something bothering us? Mom knew. She knew when it was time to sit us down and when it was time to just talk.

    Sometimes, talking with mom is just what you need.

    Things haven't gone well for me the last few weeks. I'm still butting heads with Doctor Anarios and it's becoming harder and harder to will myself out of bed every morning. The routine is beginning to kill me, and I don't know how much longer I can put up with it. I guess I was rather preoccupied turning these thoughts over in my head, because I didn't even notice that mom had, at some point, walked in and sat across from me. Now, I'd like to say that I stayed nice and composed, but that would be the lie of the millennium. As soon as I saw her, I burst into tears and babbled like I was thirteen again and just had my heart broken by my first school crush.

    I think we?re all naturally vulnerable to certain people. Parents, close loved ones. There?s little deep analysis that needs to happen here (sorry, doctor, you?re not getting the exposition you?re looking for). I trust my mom, and I know I can tell her anything and everything. Which I did. I told her al
  19. Briannakin Grand Moff Darth Fanfic & Costuming/Props Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Feb 25, 2010
    star 5
    Wonderful diary entry.

    Sometimes, all a girl needs is her mom and the brutal truth.

    The Rogues' wives don't get enough attention. They all deserve a medal for putting up with their husbands :p
  20. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 7
    :* :* :* !!!!!! and @};- at least 100 for Iella and all she's been and done for her family and now for Syal

    LOL line: sell by date [face_laugh] -- love that!

    Is it just a guy thing or what, or a hero complex? Wedge didn't have to be in the thick of things or even to be at the front end of anything to prove anything -- that's what Iella said. No one says he has to be desk bound and bored either. :p

    All Iella wanted was a normal life for her and the kids -- without her hair turning gray over wondering if this mission despite Wedge's genius as a pilot and that deuced Corrllian luck might be the last. :( !!

    Woot though, I think there's been a break through for Syal [face_dancing] and it wasn't made by the Doc or the professional staff ;)

    For that she gets hugest [:D] !! and =D=



  21. Hazel Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2010
    star 4
    I suddenly feel this overwhelming urge to give my mother and my grandmother a huge hug and kisses.

    Wonderful update!

    =D= @};-
  22. SWpants Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2004
    star 4
    When I created her, I really didn?t expect her to become this important. Boy I?m glad I was wrong!

    :D :D :D


    Iella was an amazing mother. :)


    I'm still a little bitter about the time I got grounded for two weeks when it was Myri who talked the neighbor's boy into exchanging his model B-Wing for a half-eaten bag of candy.

    [face_laugh] Oh I'm sure they were both nightmares at times :p


    When there's family involved, it's easy to get irrational.

    Too true


    As soon as I saw her, I burst into tears and babbled like I was thirteen again and just had my heart broken by my first school crush.

    Awwwww :)


    that was perfect!
  23. earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Perfect update. Mom is getting through.

    And a nice look into the lives of the pilot's wives
  24. JediMara77 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2004
    star 4
    Sorry it's taken me so long to review this, but I have a good excuse! :p

    To this day, I'm really not sure how mom did it.

    Nobody knows, Syal. She's super-Iella!

    I still have a tough time wrapping my head around his escape from Blackmoon, all while taking on enough Vong coralskippers to make an entire squadron worth of pilots nervous. By himself.

    Oh, the scene where I almost wanted to kill Aaron Allston.

    "CorSec and Smugglers"

    [face_laugh] Funny how both of the CorSec partners ended up married to smugglers or former smugglers. :)

    She wanted him to retire for good, he would say that he just couldn't. Away from these moments, they both understood why things were they way they were, but they didn't have to like it. Sometimes frustration boiled over. When there's family involved, it's easy to get irrational. They would always patch things up before long, but there was no denying the frustration and uncertainty daddy's position left her in.

    Don't worry, Iella, I'm sure he hated the positions you put yourself in.


    Sometimes, talking with mom is just what you need.


    *raises hand* Yes. Although sometimes my mom does make me want to bang my head against the wall. But that's another story.

    Things haven't gone well for me the last few weeks.

    YOU DON'T SAY?!


    Today? I think I really did need to hear her honest appraisal. I?ve got a lot to think about.


    Yes you do, Syal.


    And now I need to go call my mommy. Damn you. *hits you with chopsticks*
  25. alhana_antilles Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Aug 16, 2002
    star 3
    Daddy was gone so much when Myri and I were younger, leading the Rogues long after one would figure his sell-by date would have past.

    Sell-by date that put a smile on my face- even though I don't think Wedge has a sell-by date.

    Smugglers & Corsec? Definitely fits.

    ?I know it?s hard, but you?re not done here yet. You know that as much as I do.?

    Just what Syal had to hear.


    I really like this piece since it included (if indirectly) the whole family. Well done.
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