Dr. Laura and God's Law...

Discussion in 'Archive: The Senate Floor' started by Mortimer_Snerd, Mar 24, 2004.

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  1. Mortimer_Snerd Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2004
    star 6
    I hope this is an appropriate arena for this thread, and I hope you all get a kick out of this, as there is so much discussion as of late regarding marriage as an institution and a sacrement. I got this in an email this morning and I wanted to share it here.

    For those of us who take things a little too literally...

    "Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to
    people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that homosexuality
    is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and thus she does not condone
    the practice under any circumstance.

    The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by an east coast
    resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as
    informative:

    'Dear Dr. Laura:

    Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have
    learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as
    many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle,
    for example, I simply remind
    them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of
    debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other
    specific laws and how to follow them:

    When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing
    odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the
    odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

    I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.
    In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

    I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period
    of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I
    have tried asking, but most women take offense.

    Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female,
    provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine
    claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify?
    Why can't I own Canadians?

    I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly
    states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

    A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination -
    Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree.
    Can you settle this?

    Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a
    defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my
    vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

    Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around
    their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How
    should they die?

    I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
    unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

    My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops
    in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two
    different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse
    and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of
    getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we
    just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people
    who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)?

    I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can
    help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
    unchanging.

    Your devoted fan,

    Jim'"

    KK EDIT: We already have threads covering this issue, and you need more than just a cut-and-pasted web page to start a thread.
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