Saga Drabble Squadron (1/2: "Eum Ausculta Cui Quattuor Sunt Aures" (Han, Luke))

This thread is for my drabbles set in a galaxy far, far away.


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Title: Snow Bound!


The two figures sat huddled together, unmoving, as the snow slowly covered them. Finally, after several hours, one began to stir. "Do you think it's safe to start moving again?" 3PO asked.

R2 beeped noncommittally.

"If we wait much longer, I'm afraid my joints will be permanently frozen."

Maliciously, R2 suggested that perhaps they were already.

"Why would you say that?" 3PO whined, his voice growing more panicked. He tried to start twitching, but the snow and ice had encased them too thoroughly. "I can't move! We're going to die! My internal sensors can't even distinguish up from down anymore!"

 

You've gotta love those fussy droids and the dynamic they have together. Good work!

 

Nice work, Poe Drabbleron. These two are funny. I always enjoy getting into R2's head. He has a way with non verbal snark.

 

Thanks.

Title: Kibitz and Pieces
Timeframe: Revenge of the Sith
Rating: PG


"To be fair," Bail said, grinning, "he's a Jedi. You're probably the only sexual partner he's ever had. I doubt he'd be able to distinguish between good and bad lovemaking."

Mon Mothma jumped in to say, "It's not just about what the man wants. She's probably had to spend many nights training him in how to please her."

"So very many," Padme agreed, shaking her head. "I even tried giving him lessons with the ancient Gungan woman who'd taught me and my handmaidens about-"

"As fascinating as all this is," interrupted Fang Zar, "can we get back to the meeting?"

 

Title: Forging a New Legend


"This is the biggest event of our lifetimes, possibly the biggest of any lifetimes ever." The Emperor had died, and everyone was assuming that his totalitarian regime would soon follow, resulting in a peace that would last for millennia. Or at least until some improbably powerful alien species completely dependent on biotechnology rose from nowhere to conquer the galaxy.

Of course, we know that isn't what happened. Those visions of a future that could never be fell by the wayside, overtaken by a different future, in which the galaxy fell to the might of the Gungan war machine.

Or whatever.

 

Snowbound -- Perfect snippy 3PO and R2!

Ahem - yup time to get back to the meeting.

And -- a Gungan war machine? *gasp* Do I even wanna know?

 

Thanks.

Title: No Rodent
Crossover: Guardians of the Galaxy


Rocket swung the barrel of his gun up between his opponent's legs and slammed it into the guy's groin. He stopped moving in that instant, his eyes rolling back up into his head, but it took several more seconds for the semiconscious body to hit the floor. Rocket spat at the man and hissed, "I ain't no rodent!"

"Funny," said a figure in the shadows, "that's my line." The speaker stepped forward; he was tall and green, with long ears and prominent buck teeth. "Name's Jaxxon."

Rocket shrugged. "Want a drink?" He kicked at his fallen foe. "Sunshine here's paying."

 

Title: A Debut Talent


"I don't know why you're surprised, Chewie," said Han. "It's simply never come up before."

Chewbacca howled.

Han replied, "Think. When have we ever written anything? And now suddenly you're putting out this novel? I'm the one who should be shocked here."

"If you need someone to translate your novel, my services are available." Though he'd been in the room the whole time, 3PO's sudden offer startled them both.

Chewie whined plaintively at the droid.

"I assure you, I'm quite adept at capturing the subtleties of language, though I suspect such worries are immaterial where Mister Solo is concerned."

"Hey!"

 

- that is one novel that would be very entertaining.

 

Chewie's novel...Life Debt Crisis! This was fun as well, Poe Drabblerondrabb​

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"I assure you, I'm quite adept at capturing the subtleties of language, though I suspect such worries are immaterial where Mister Solo is concerned."​

​

Perfect Han and 3PO! ​

 

Thanks.

Title: Possunt Quia Posse Videntur


Yoda turned to the youngling who'd asked the question. "About power, being a Jedi is not. But an answer for you, I have." And so he told them about the most powerful Jedi Knights he'd ever known.

* * *

Once every two or three generations, there arose a Jedi of such skill and of such confidence in that skill, that they could achieve anything through sheer force of will. And thus they were transformed. Based on little more than their willingness, they became moons.

* * *

"Even now, wandering the galaxy and solving crimes," he explained, "five or six such Jedi moons there are."

 

Brought me smiles. I'm a fan. And thank you for them.

 

I was so intrigued until they were transformed into moons then I just Oh these are plain pure fun!

 

What am I missing?

 

You're welcome. Thanks. Only what you didn't bring with you.

Title: Fortuna Suffragante
Timeframe: Post-RotJ


"Funny, we all figured you died with Jabba."

Bib just shrugged.

"Why, after all these months, have you shown up here wanting to work for us?"

"You misunderstand my intentions," Bib answered in perfect Basic. "I don't want to work for your organization. I want to work with it. I've been able to pull together a lot of resources from my late employer, but if I'm to most effectively capitalize on what I've amassed... that's where you come in.

"One way or another, I will succeed, and I'm offering you this chance to be on my side when I do."

 

Title: Esto Mihi, Ero Tibi


Amaiza heard a groan and kicked the culprit in the head; none of the other fallen pirates dared stir.

Jaxxon stood in the doorway, admiring her handiwork. "Darlin', how long have we been partners?"

She walked past him and started down the corridor. "I assume you mean business partners," she said without turning around. "Seventeen months, give or take."

"Yeah, sure, because we've only been the other kind-"

"Five months and two days," she finished. "Not that I'm counting."

"How 'bout we make it official?"

Now she did turn around. "Which partnership do- oh." He was already on one knee.

 

Title: Pisces Magni Parvulus Comedunt
Timeframe: Prequel Trilogy


"As Master Qui-Gon once said to me, 'There's always a bigger fish.'" Obi-Want folded his arms across his chest, pleased with the statement's profundity.

Anakin replied, "I'm not sure we can rely on that in this case, given that it's the planet that's trying to eat us." Behind him, several of the less edible pieces of their ship were spat up out of the ground.

"Even if such a 'fish' existed and were in this system," he continued, "wouldn't it just eat us along with everything else on this world?"

"Well, if you're just going to be defeatist about it..."

 

Title: Eum Ausculta Cui Quattuor Sunt Aures
Fandom: Star Wars
Timeframe: Original Trilogy


Luke peered at Han over his glass of blue milk. "What does the number or size of an alien's ears have to do with their ability or inclination to listen to other people's problems?"

"I don't know, kid," Han admitted, reverting to the same dismissive, infantilizing posturing he used whenever he felt an argument slipping away from him. Luke caught Chewie grinning; he'd spotted it too. "It's just an old expression. Didn't you have those back on the farmstead?"

"Sure, Han, but we paid enough attention to recognize when one was racist and stop using it," Luke replied, mostly truthfully.

 

That's an...interesting take on that tree that falls in the forest. Totally stealing the expression, if you don't mind!

 

(double post - board lag!)

 

LOL on the planet eating discussion & idioms between Luke and Han. Definitely those need to be dropped if they're racist or biased in some other way

 

I guess I didn't see the 2016 drabbles when I was making the index for award-eligible fics and commented on the single, lonely 2017 one? Ohwell, it's never too late and you, @Poe Drabbleron, you need to come back and write more of this. And/or do the UDC VIII. It's an orderrrrrr!

All that, plus...yay for Latin!

Snow Bound!: D'awww, Threepio is being Threepio, as usual. Desert, snow...I wouldn't want to know how he would react underwater.

Kibitz and Pieces: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT DID I JUST READ? The Senators advising Padmé on how to help Anakin improve in the bunk? Yup, seems legit, all right. Not sure if I want to know about those Gungan ladies, tho.

Forging a New Legend: I wonder who's the speaker here. MESA CURIOUS!

No Rodent: Now, that would be an interesting duo!

A Debut Talent: 10/10 would read Chewie's novel! Hoping that Threepio would not "improve" it with his well-known bits and pieces of purple prose, though.

Possunt Quia Posse Videntur: This is esoteric and it caught me by surprise. I would expect that of myself, but not of you. Totally loving the concept of the Jedi who became Force-moons! Fits the drabble title, too.

Fortuna Suffragante: What a swindler, Bib is! Not sure if this is his redemption or is he going to become even worse and get even more dirt under those super-creepy fingernails of his...all that, plus he could speak Basic all along. Wow...

Esto mihi, ero tibi: Ubi tu gaius, ego gaia...

Pisces Magni Parvulus Comedunt: I want to know more about this planet. You have given these two a way to relive the Naboo trauma and take it up to eleven! This is something I never expected, just like that NSWFF drabble of yours where Homer Simpson ate those deer.