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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Beyond - Legends Dream Alive || YJK AU epic || Completed 7/13/07!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by YJKTribe, Jan 22, 2007.

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  1. Stookymalarkey

    Stookymalarkey Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Apr 10, 2007
    Liking the story so far. It's got a neat Mad Max-esque vibe going for it, minus the Thunderdome. Keep up the good work. :)
     
  2. Jedi-Ant

    Jedi-Ant Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 3, 2007
    Tahiri frowned at the jumble of components and casing parts spread out on the conference table. ?I don?t know how we?re supposed to make anything out of this mess,? she complained, resting her chin in her hands and propping her elbows up on the polished tabletop. Her crystal sat before her, glinting in the harsh light of the glowpanels.

    Aww.. that is the cutest opening scene EVER! [face_love] I can soo see her doing that, you've really got Tahiri's character down-pat! :)

    Sannah brushed her hair out of her eyes and shook her long braid over her shoulders. ?This is going to be hard, isn?t it?? She turned her pearl over and over in her small hands and glared at it with burnt-yellow eyes.

    LOL! Sannah is great!

    Tahiri bit her lip. ?Will we have to kill people, Jaina??

    :_|

    Oh, the poor kid has no idea! If only she could see her future self now! :( That line is so tragic and makes me all teary inside because I know how she grows up. :_|

    ?How can we do this to them? How can we rebuild society if we?re already teaching our children to kill??

    She's got a good point there.

    ?They?re the next generation,? Lusa said quietly. ?I don?t want to lose them. I?ll fight to protect them; I won?t let them fight to protect me. We have responsibilities, Jaina, and they dseserve better than this.? She took a deep breath, her discomfort radiating through the Force. ?They deserve so much better.?

    =D= Way to stick up for the younglings, Lusa!!

    ?Jaina?? Tahiri finally whispered.

    ?I don?t know,? Jaina whispered back. She closed her eyes. ?May the Force be with us.?


    :_|

    ?I don?t think we?re going to find anything here,? Valin said despairingly. He thrust his hands in the pockets of his orange jumpsuit and glared at the heap of scrap in front of him.

    ?What?re you looking for?? Gav called again.

    ?Crystals!? Anakin shot back as he used a multitool to unscrew the back panel of a computer monitor.


    LOL!

    ?Trying to find the perfect ring so you can propose to your girl??

    I wish! [face_batting]

    Anakin scowled. ?I?m a little young for that, thanks.?

    Hehe.. :p Of course he is.

    Anakin shrugged. ?Jovan probably sensed you miles away.?

    ?Or smelled you,? Valin pointed out, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

    Gav feigned indignance. ?I shower.?

    ?How often?? Anakin asked pointedly.


    LMAO!! [face_laugh] Oh, what great banter! Hilarious!!

    ?No?it is,? Alema?s admission was reluctant. ?But I still don?t want to die.?

    None of them do. [face_worried] But I'm afraid some of them might have to...



    I really enjoyed this update! The kids were so cute looking for their crystals, in a sad kinda way. It's scary to think they'll be off to battle soon, with no experience [face_worried]


    Ant. ]-}

     
  3. Kidan

    Kidan TFN EU Staff star 5 VIP

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2003
    I really like Alema here - her insecurities and confusion are so evident.

    Great job all around!
     
  4. JediBettyBug18

    JediBettyBug18 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 13, 2005
    wow oh wow oh wow oh wow!!! <3 <3<3

    love,
    marybeth
     
  5. YJKTribe

    YJKTribe Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Dec 12, 2006
    Emerald_Lady

    Well you know character development is always fun! Its how we roll1 And I've always found it a little sad how young the characters start fighting in SW. Its rediculous.

    Twin_Saber

    Yeah, lightsabers are cool, but they aren't toys.

    Stookymalarkey

    Yay for new reader! *Confetti*

    Jedi-Ant

    Doesn't my lovely coauthor just rock Tahiri? I tell her this on a regular basis, so I'm singling out that comment to back me up! :p

    Kidan

    Yeah, Alema's a complicated chick.

    JediBettyBug18

    Haha, I'll take that as a good thing! :p
     
  6. YJKTribe

    YJKTribe Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Dec 12, 2006
    Episode 22: Madmen
    Part 2


    Come
    As you are
    As you were
    As I want you to be
    As a friend
    As a friend
    As a known memory

    Come As You Are
    , Nirvana

    *****

    Zekk paced restlessly, back and forth, unable to keep still. Even the constant movement could not distract him, could not keep him from thinking about Jaina and everything she had said, just as he had every moment since they had parted company. No matter how many times he repeated what Brakiss had told him or how often he tried to convince himself that her speech only lingered in this mind because of some Jedi mind trick, his doubts lingered.

    Maybe all he had been trying to do, everything he had been fighting for, had been a lie. What if he had not been carrying out his own quest for justice, but merely Brakiss?s dead, power-hungry dream of conquest.

    No, he told himself with an angry snarl, cloak swirling behind him like the shadows of his desperate thoughts. Everything he had done as the Shadow Academy?s Darkest Knight had been to help. Coruscant had been left in anarchy after the disease that had killed its adults. The invasion had brought order to that, had made it safe to be out on the streets at night. Had meant that there was a chance other useless vent crawlers like he had been now had a chance to survive and become something other than gutter scavengers.

    So if that was true, why did he still feel the horrible doubt and guilt that racked him now?

    ?You?re going to wear a hole in the floor if you keep pacing.? Lomi told him smugly from where she sat perched on the edge of his desk. Vilas was even now showing the incriminating holo of his treatment of Tamith Kai to the rest of the Academy, telling them all how their so-called leader had betrayed their beloved teacher. Zekk had not even asked to go and try to defend himself; he knew his two former lieutenants would have stopped him.

    A few short days ago, he might have cared.

    In a way it did not matter. Although Lomi and Vilas had been unable to wait in their quest for vengeance, they also wanted to strike against the gangs as quickly as possible. He was one of their strongest Force users; until the war was over, he would remain in power. After that, he would be fighting for his life.

    *****

    Tahiri closed the casing of her lightsaber with a quiet snap, the soft noise bringing her out of the light trance she had slipped into. Blinking her big green eyes a few times as she slowly regained her sense of self, she stared down at the silver cylinder in her hands. A part of her was afraid to try it, worried that she had wired it wrong or missed a circuit somewhere in the mess of wires that powered it. Maybe it would explode, or burst into flames. Or maybe it would not start at all.

    She had paid careful attention to Jacen and Tenel Ka?s instructions, had gone over them a dozen times with Anakin, but she was still a little worried. Her best friend was so good at building things she thought she might die of embarrassment if she failed at this. What if Anakin did not want to be friends with someone who could not do something that came so easily to him?

    Shaking her blond curls stubbornly, she decided she was being silly. Anakin was her best friend in the entire galaxy, and nothing was going to change that. She was just letting her nerves get the better of her.

    There was no point in waiting, she told herself, taking a deep breath and pushing the button to ignite her lightsaber.

    The blade that shot forth was the same warm gold as the sands of Tatooine. She felt a grin spread slowly across her face as she stared at it, mesmerized.

    Anakin was definitely going to be impressed.

    *****

    Valin sat holding the speederbike handle in his lap, staring at it a little sadly. His dad had constructed his own lightsaber using the same impromptu hilt, so it had seemed the obvious choice to make for his weapon.

    His father had always been his hero. He had been a pilot and a former Corsec officer and a Jedi. As far as Valin was concerned, those were the three cooles
     
  7. Kidan

    Kidan TFN EU Staff star 5 VIP

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2003
    great scenes of them building their 'sabers...
     
  8. Stookymalarkey

    Stookymalarkey Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Apr 10, 2007
    It's nice how you showed how the characters put certain aspects of themselves into their 'sabers. It makes it seem like an extension of themselves while serving as a nice interlude to some character development. BTW, are you guys ever going to cover how or who spread the adult killing virus or how it'll affect the older kids later on? I think that those subjects are a untapped source of future plots if you ever decide to expand the story past the warring factions plot. In any case, keep up the good work.
     
  9. Jedi-Ant

    Jedi-Ant Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 3, 2007
    Doesn't my lovely coauthor just rock Tahiri? I tell her this on a regular basis, so I'm singling out that comment to back me up!

    She really does! =D= *applaudes coauthor on a great Tahiri*

    Come As You Are, Nirvana

    Great song! :cool:

    In a way it did not matter. Although Lomi and Vilas had been unable to wait in their quest for vengeance, they also wanted to strike against the gangs as quickly as possible. He was one of their strongest Force users; until the war was over, he would remain in power. After that, he would be fighting for his life.

    [face_worried]

    Maybe Jaina can save him before it gets to that?

    Tahiri closed the casing of her lightsaber with a quiet snap, the soft noise bringing her out of the light trance she had slipped into. Blinking her big green eyes a few times as she slowly regained her sense of self, she stared down at the silver cylinder in her hands. A part of her was afraid to try it, worried that she had wired it wrong or missed a circuit somewhere in the mess of wires that powered it. Maybe it would explode, or burst into flames. Or maybe it would not start at all.

    Yay! [face_dancing] Another cute Tahiri scene! [face_love] I love how you guys explained her fears about her weapon here. :)

    Her best friend was so good at building things she thought she might die of embarrassment if she failed at this. What if Anakin did not want to be friends with someone who could not do something that came so easily to him?

    Aww... *sniff* That is such a realistic fear from Tahiri.

    The blade that shot forth was the same warm gold as the sands of Tatooine. She felt a grin spread slowly across her face as she stared at it, mesmerized.

    Awesomeness :cool:

    Anakin was definitely going to be impressed.

    :D

    Valin sat holding the speederbike handle in his lap, staring at it a little sadly. His dad had constructed his own lightsaber using the same impromptu hilt, so it had seemed the obvious choice to make for his weapon.

    :_|

    Valin is one of my all-time favourite EU characters now (*puts in a plug for the new Valin Horn Index in the Resource section*), and this opening scene of his is heartbreaking. :(

    His father had always been his hero. He had been a pilot and a former Corsec officer and a Jedi. As far as Valin was concerned, those were the three coolest jobs in the galaxy. Sure, they all meant he was gone a lot, but when he was home he was undoubtedly one of the best parents ever.

    :_| :_|

    *grabs tissue box*

    Valin had always felt like a bit of an outsider at the Jedi Academy, even with all his friends, because of his abilities. He could project images into other beings? minds as easy as breathing, but could not move the smallest stone with the Force.

    That would suck, but he does have a cool ability instead. :)

    Corran would have wanted him to keep fighting, to be a Jedi, to help those who needed him.

    Climbing slowly to his feet and clutching the speeder handle, he ignited it for the first time.

    The blade that materialized with a snap-hiss was as vibrant green as his dad?s eyes had been. The same color as his own.


    :_|

    Valin is great here! I'll be sure to add this 'fic to the index. :D

    The flowing, organic shape she had chosen looked like the coral that grew deep in the waters of her home on Yavin 8. In reality, she had discovered it among the wreckage of an old starfighter that must have been shot down during one of the countless battles that had been fought above Coruscant?s skies. The burned and melted metal had been warped where it had been shot, creating beautiful shapes amid the destruction that had fascinated her. Just as Tenel Ka had expressed her warrior heritage with the use of a rancor tooth in her lightsaber, Sannah had decided to embrace her own culture.

    Great description of Sannah's blade there. It sounds beautiful! :D

    She was
     
  10. YJKTribe

    YJKTribe Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Dec 12, 2006
    Kidan:

    Thanks for reading! :)

    Stookymalarkey:

    BTW, are you guys ever going to cover how or who spread the adult killing virus or how it'll affect the older kids later on? I think that those subjects are a untapped source of future plots if you ever decide to expand the story past the warring factions plot. In any case, keep up the good work.

    Thanks for the review! And yes, we have tentative plans for a sequel that will deal with the origins of the virus. :)

    Jedi-Ant:

    She really does! *applaudes coauthor on a great Tahiri*

    [face_blush] Thanks!

    Valin is great here! I'll be sure to add this 'fic to the index.

    Great! Thanks! :cool:
     
  11. YJKTribe

    YJKTribe Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Dec 12, 2006
    Episode 23: Devils and Dust
    Part 1




    You're not alone
    Together we stand
    I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
    When it gets cold
    And it feels like the end
    There's no place to go
    You know I won't give in
    No I won't give in

    ?Keep Holding On
    , Avril Lavigne

    ***

    The meeting area of the Imperial Palace was crowded with bodies, thick with desperation and fear. In the middle of the turmoil, Zuulth and Norys stood atop the room?s lone table, waving their blasters over their heads and shouting incomprehensible words of encouragement.

    Lusa paused in the doorway. Raynar stopped beside her and placed one hand on her shoulder. She shook her head and backed down the corridor, ears still ringing with the sounds of chaos.

    ?How can we do this?? she asked softly. Tears stung the corners of her eyes and drifted down across her smooth cheeks. ?Tahiri and Valin, Sannah and Anakin?they?re not ready for this.?

    Raynar frowned. Carefully, gently, he reached out and wiped the tears from Lusa?s face. ?I don?t even know if you and I are ready for this.?

    ?Not helping,? Lusa murmured, taking his hand and squeezing hard. ?I know we have to do something about the Dark Jedi. But I wish the children didn?t have to take part.?

    ?It?s always been this way,? Raynar said hesitantly.

    ?Lusa??

    Lusa turned to find Tahiri staring at her with wide green eyes.

    ?Jaina said to find you in the meeting hall,? Tahiri said, uncharacteristically uncertain. She moved slowly down the hallway toward the centaur girl. ?Jaina said that she would be along in a second, and that you would help us with our lightsabers??cuz mine won?t stay on my belt, and I?m afraid it?s gonna fall off when I run, and I?m pretty sure everyone?s gonna laugh if I lose my lightsaber in the middle of a battle ?? Her voice trailed off as she glanced over her shoulder. ?Anakin and Valin and Sannah were following me, but I don?t know where they went, and OC wants to know what she?s gonna do while we?re all out being Jedi.?

    ?Shh, shh.? Lusa placed two fingers against the girl?s mouth to hush her. ?We?ll take this a minute at a time, a breath at a time. Now, first things first.?

    ?Why won?t my lightsaber stay on my belt?? Tahiri tugged at the brown utility belt fastened around her narrow waist. Her lightsaber clattered from the belt to the ground, hitting the floor with a metallic clang. Tahiri raised a pointed eyebrow at Lusa before bending to retrieve the weapon.

    ?Well well well,? Raynar said, kneeling beside Tahiri and taking the lightsaber from her small hands. He turned it over, inspecting the clasp, then chuckled softly. ?Looks like you didn?t have the clasp fastened right.?

    Tahiri wrinkled up her face. ?Is that it? Because I checked the clasp and it looked okay ??

    Lusa took the lightsaber from Raynar and bent over, fastening it to Tahiri?s belt. She gave the belt a tug; this time the lightsaber stayed put. ?Looks like it?s just fine now,? she said, ruffling Tahiri?s blonde hair.

    ?Thanks!? Tahiri exclaimed. She jumped away and ran back down the corridor, calling for her friends.

    ?This isn?t right,? Lusa said as she watched Tahiri dance away.

    ?But it isn?t going to go away,? Raynar pointed out. ?Let?s just get through this.?

    Lusa nodded. ?And then we?ll make sure it never has to happen again.?

    ***

    Pandemonium engulfed the meeting room. Jaina threaded her way through the roaring crowd to the table Zuulth and Norys had chosen as an impromptu platform. Jaina reached up and tugged on Zuulth?s pantleg to get the young woman?s attention.

    ?What do you want?? Zuulth hissed, jumping off the table and crossing her arms over her chest.

    ?We need to go over our plans before we set out!? Jaina replied. ?We have to make sure everyone knows her role!?

    ?Simple,? Zuulth said. ?We kill as many of them as we can.?

    ?We won?t win a war that way.? Jacen appeared behind Jaina, Lowie and Tenel Ka in tow.

    ?This is a fact,? Tenel Ka, quick to agree with Jacen, jumped in.
     
  12. Twin_Saber

    Twin_Saber Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 28, 2006
    Ok, first of all: Great couple of posts guys, you're really moving this along.
    Second: Do you think I'm an idiot? I know that lightsabers aren't toys. Jacen and Tenel Ka taught everyone that if no other books did.

    TWIN_SABER[face_peace]
     
  13. Jedi-Ant

    Jedi-Ant Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 3, 2007
    ?How can we do this?? she asked softly. Tears stung the corners of her eyes and drifted down across her smooth cheeks. ?Tahiri and Valin, Sannah and Anakin?they?re not ready for this.?

    :( They're still so young.

    "Jaina said to find you in the meeting hall,? Tahiri said, uncharacteristically uncertain. She moved slowly down the hallway toward the centaur girl. ?Jaina said that she would be along in a second, and that you would help us with our lightsabers??cuz mine won?t stay on my belt, and I?m afraid it?s gonna fall off when I run, and I?m pretty sure everyone?s gonna laugh if I lose my lightsaber in the middle of a battle ?? Her voice trailed off as she glanced over her shoulder. ?Anakin and Valin and Sannah were following me, but I don?t know where they went, and OC wants to know what she?s gonna do while we?re all out being Jedi.?

    That's both sad and cute at the same time - Tahiri more worried about her lightsaber falling off because it would be embarrassing than being in battle and being killed :( [face_love] She's adorable.

    ?Why won?t my lightsaber stay on my belt?? Tahiri tugged at the brown utility belt fastened around her narrow waist. Her lightsaber clattered from the belt to the ground, hitting the floor with a metallic clang. Tahiri raised a pointed eyebrow at Lusa before bending to retrieve the weapon.

    LOL! [face_laugh] Oh, classic! I can so picture this, and I just want to pick her up and hug her!

    Tahiri wrinkled up her face. ?Is that it? Because I checked the clasp and it looked okay ??

    :p

    ?But it isn?t going to go away,? Raynar pointed out. ?Let?s just get through this.?

    You guys do a good job with Raynar, too. :) I like seeing him and Lusa together again.

    ?Fine,? Zuulth muttered. She climbed back up on the table and waved her blaster over her head. ?Listen up, cretins!? she shouted. ?Time for a quick review for the Jedi?s sake!? A scornful laugh went up from the crowd and Jaina rolled her eyes at their derision.

    LOL! Cretins! [face_laugh]

    ?Our little Jedi,? she continued, waving at Tahiri, Sannah, Valin and Anakin as they shuffled into the room behind Lusa, ?will set up distractions on the Estellsiir Lane. Once the kiddies have them confused, our Lane teams will cut ?em up.?

    [face_worried]

    "Our little Jedi"... :_| That was just so emotional right there - so young and heading into battle as distractions. :(

    She was going to find Zekk, and this time she was going to get through to him. She would confront him on his turf, in the middle of a war he had started, and she would end things.

    Makes it sound like she's ready to kill him if need be :(

    Vilas had returned to the power plant under his command to make sure the Dark Jedi on his strike force fully understood Zekk?s betrayal. He knew Lomi had done the same at her center of command, and Welk, stationed under Zekk, had gotten word of their leader?s treachery to those under Zekk?s direct control.

    There had been no uprising yet, but Zekk?s support base was all but gone. Welk?s last report indicated that no less than three attempts on Zekk?s life had been made last week; all had failed, but only that whelp Ardaniele and a small group of her friends remained loyal to Zekk.


    That's bad. I think he'll definitely choose Jaina's side over this... or else he'll die.

    ?The gangs are attacking!? Vilas yelled over the whine of incoming blasterfire. ?Take them out! This has gone too far! If they want a fight, we?ll give them one!?

    He sounds a little scared... he should be [face_devil]

    He was confident that his trained Dark Jedi could destroy gang resistance quickly and efficiently. His place was elsewhere; it was time for him to confront Zekk once and for all. ?

    :eek:

    Gah! So he's not going to fight the Jedi and the gangs, he's going to go and kill Zekk with Lomi! [face_worried] Jaina won't even get the chance to confront him, by the sounds of it.. unless she gets stuck
     
  14. Stookymalarkey

    Stookymalarkey Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Apr 10, 2007
    It's hit the fan now and it's about time. Cripes, how the hell did these kids get the experience to be snipers anyways?
     
  15. ZekksGoddess

    ZekksGoddess Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 2, 2004

    Episode 14

    At times, destruction was necessary, but Zekk saw violence as a means to an end, not an end in itself.
    You?re really showing that even though he did go dark side, he really does have good in intentions.

    I really liked the scene with Zekk and the Hangarai Market. His memories of how his life was before he went dark, and the feelings he still has about it, really enforce his reasons, etc.

    Vilas suddenly didn?t know where to start. ?Come with me,? he said, starting back up the shuttle?s boarding ramp. ?I found a very interesting recording. ??
    Uh-oh, Zekkie?



    Episode 14

    The stump of his arm was possible to ignore, but the angry canyon that etched its way across his face, erasing his eyes, was a different story entirely.
    Aw?you?re actually making me feel a little sympathetic for Norys here. That?s a good thing, I suppose- you?re really fleshing out his character from what he?s gone through, expanding him from YJK.

    She was a match for any Shadow Academy patrol, Stray told herself as she clambered over a mound of garbage and scrap. This was her home, not theirs. They were outsiders, while she knew the lower levels like the back of her hand.
    Ehh?as far as the Shadow Academy goes, I think Zekk may have you on that, dearie.

    The tides of power had shifted, and, as always, she planned to be on the winning side.
    That is one determined girl. Poor Zekk.



    Episode 15

    Jacen?s presence behind her was a reassuring reality, and she was secretly glad he had insisted on following her.
    [face_love]

    Stray realized at once that they did not belong to a Shadow Academy patrol. The girl was tall and thin, clothed in brief armor that swirled with a multitude of earthy tones.
    I really love all the subplots in this story- it ties everything together, and it?s so much fun to read. :)

    Lomi?s growl was as low as a whisper; her hair rustled like windblown grass; Zekk knew the storm had come, and his only hope was to stall the rain until he could take shelter from the Nightsister?s wrath.
    Nice analogy. I just hope he finds that shelter fast?




    Episode 15

    Jaina would never accept me, either, he though, then shoved away the betraying voice, trying to forget it as he faced his former lover.
    It always comes back to her. Shouldn?t that be telling him something?



    Episode 16

    ?It could work,? Jacen said softly. ?I?ve been thinking about this, and I have an idea ??
    I?m guessing that some very unconventional alliances may form out of this.

    ?But they keep their hands to themselves,? Numa pointed out. ?I think it?s a good trade-off.?
    She?s a smart girl. Alema, on the other hand?

    The knowledge of Zekk?s cruelty to Tamith Kai would certainly alienate the remaining Nightsisters and their allies, but did the other students, those not from Dathomir or otherwise affiliated with the Nightsisters, feel the same loyalty toward the cruel, beautiful instructor?
    Wow. Everything is becoming a huge tangle? every group is either being wiped out, breaking down, or allying with someone you?d never think of? And yet, you don?t make it confusing. Nice work. :)

    Would Jaina and her friends ever accept him? Could they, after all he had done?
    YES, YES!!! Now go find her!

    Zekk didn?t have any answers?or perhaps he already knew the answers and simply refused to acknowledge them.
    That poor guy. He?s stretched so thin?I think he?s getting so confused that he doesn?t know what he wants at all anymore, be it his old friends, the power, or whatever. Poor guy.



    Episode 16

    We don?t do alliances, mostly because we hate each other.
    [face_laugh] I suppose that?s a good reason.

    Besides, your boyfriend didn?t listen to you last time. What makes you think he will now?
    Ouch. Way to have tact.



    Episode 17

    If the Lost Ones and the other gangs laughed at his idea, he and his friends could find themselves in the middle of a vicious war?and that was the last thi
     
  16. JediBettyBug18

    JediBettyBug18 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 13, 2005
    ....

    *falls off stool in shock and climbs back up embarrassed as other librariers stare.*

    ohmigosh! if i had the cash tp print this here and now i would!! cause we'll be camping in the middle of wyoming;s beautiful no-man's-land all next week and i'll be boreeeeeed. :D darn.

    so, does this mean zekk is gonna crawl to the imperial palace, like an invertabrae, begging forgivenness? :p [face_mischief]

    love,
    marybeth
     
  17. YJKTribe

    YJKTribe Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Dec 12, 2006
    Twin_Saber

    I know that lightsabers aren't toys. Jacen and Tenel Ka taught everyone that if no other books did.

    All togetehr now! "Lightsabers are not toys!" :p

    Jedi-Ant

    Nothing like a daring Tahiri moment before a battle, eh? :p Thanks!

    Stookymalarkey

    Those sneaky sniper gang members! :p

    ZekksGoddess

    My goodness what an epic review! So glad to have you back, darling, and very impressed that you managed to read all that!

    JediBettyBug18

    Hehehe, glad we are awesome enough to make you fall off your chair! :p Have fun camping! There will be plenty of dramatic updates for you when you return!
     
  18. YJKTribe

    YJKTribe Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Dec 12, 2006
    Episode 23: Devils and Dust
    Part 2


    Now every woman and every man
    They wanna take a righteous stand
    Find the love that God wills
    And the faith that He commands
    I've got my finger on the trigger
    And tonight faith just ain't enough
    When I look inside my heart
    There's just devils and dust

    Devils and Dust
    , Bruce Springsteen

    *****

    Zuulth fired off another blaster bolt over her shoulder as she sprinted through the streets, keeping close to the rest of her team as they led the Dark Jedi on a deadly game of tag through the lower levels. Blonde hair streamed behind her as she ran, along with the feathers and ribbons she had woven into it for the occasion.

    Glancing at her comrades, she felt a crazed, reckless grin spread across her face. The gang members had all painted their faces before the fight began, everything from a few simple lines to all-out masks. They looked like savages, especially compared to the sleek uniforms of their pursuers. It was an image she was perfectly happy with.

    The gang member swung off a walkway and down to the next level, landing lightly and taking off. She could hear the buzz of the Shadow Academy students? lightsabers as they followed, moving hesitantly but still rapidly through the unfamiliar terrain. Weaving her way through mounds of debris and trash she led them deeper into the maze.

    As they reached a crossroads half of her group slit off, disappearing into the darkened streets before the Shadow Academy could catch sight of them. They might sense it, but hopefully they would think the retreating gang members were running away. Her hope paid off, and the Dark Jedi continued to chase her and the remaining members of her team.

    Ducking into an alleyway, Zuulth darted to the end of it, then spun, as did her team, aiming a sudden hail of blaster bolts at them. The Dark Jedi skidded to a halt, forced to deflect the attack as well at the one being rained on them by the other half of her fighters who had looped around behind their opponents, sealing off the other entrance and trapping them in the alley.

    The Shadow Academy might still have won, could have pressed through, cutting them down with their blazing lightsabers, but at that moment Zuulth caught sight of the flash of movement above them she had been waiting for.

    Lowie hung by his claws on the crumbling side of the building that formed one of the walls of the ally, waiting until the Shadow Academy was truly trapped then springing into action. Igniting his bronze lightsaber he sliced neatly through the supports of the walkway that overshadowed the alley, racing across the side of the building with a climber?s ease and severing the rest of the rusty supports, sending it crashing down into the Dark Jedi below.

    His roar of triumph blended with the gang member?s cheers.

    *****

    Tahiri had been scared when the fighting had begun. She and the other young Jedi had drawn the Shadow Academy patrol out to them, leading them deeper into the lower levels until the Lane team and Jovan had arrived. Now, though, that fear had been replaced by determination. Her newly constructed lightsaber felt like a part of her, and deflecting the occasional blaster bolt that came in her direction had proved to be easier than she had thought. Jovan had herded the children to the side as the battle began, the best he could do to keep them out of danger.

    A lot of people had died, though. Gang members and Shadow Academy students both. They had been shot down of sliced apart, some silently, some with a scream. In the end, though, they all died. It didn?t really seem to matter if they were good guys or bad guys.

    ?I think we?re winning,? Valin hissed, blocking a stray blaster bolt. ?There are less Dark Jedi than us, now.?

    Tahiri had to agree. The Shadow Academy had been overconfident, feeling sure they could easily hunt down a few children. They had not bargained on getting lost, or on meeting a small army of ferocious gang members.

    Even as she thought that, she heard Sannah gasp with horror. Following her friend?s ye
     
  19. GeithJiseo2

    GeithJiseo2 Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 21, 2004
    This is getting good...I'm really enjoying reading this. Keep it up!

    And I like your song choices, too, especially Nirvana's "Come As You Are." One of my all-time favorites. :)
     
  20. ZekksGoddess

    ZekksGoddess Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 2, 2004
    The gang members had all painted their faces before the fight began, everything from a few simple lines to all-out masks. They looked like savages, especially compared to the sleek uniforms of their pursuers. It was an image she was perfectly happy with.
    You know, I'm very faintly reminded of Lord of the Flies- all the hostility without supervision and stuff.


    His roar of triumph blended with the gang member?s cheers.
    Nice planning. :)
    They need all all the strategy they can against the Shadow Academy.


    She had never thought of war as a game, had realized how serious it would be, but somehow she had not thought any of her friends would die. Strangers, maybe, but no one she knew, almost as though that friendship would be enough to keep them safe.
    Somehow, life seemed a lot sadder now that she knew it would not.

    :( Great job portraying the innocence of the younger generation. They're finding out the realities of the war so soon...it's rather depressing. But realistic.


    Somehow he was not at all surprised.
    With three assasination attempts the week before, he shouldn't have been surprised. :p


    Zekk yanked his arm away in time to prevent it from being severed, but he knew without even looking that the wound was deep. Smoke rose from it along with the sickening smell of burning meat and he stumbled.
    :eek: Zekkie!
    *looks around anxiously* Where's Jaina gone off to?


    Zekk exploded down, flipping lightly as he landed right in front of he nemesis. ?Neither can I," he hissed before igniting the lightsaber and slicing Vilas in half in a single furious motion.
    Well, that was effective. Sneaky ol' Zekk.


    Zekk stumbled back, hands shaking so hard he could not even deactivate his lightsaber, throwing it away in horror. The blade did not connect with anything, merely clattered to the ground a few yards away where it lay buzzing and casting a bloody light over his surroundings. He stumbled away until his back connected with a wall, then sank to the ground, wrapping his arms around his legs and burying his face against his knees, unable to look at the body. He felt sick, and was trembling so hard it hurt. He did not think he had ever been so scared, even as a lost hungry orphan on Coruscant?s merciless streets. The most terrifying part was that this was not some threat he could run from or turn and face. He felt like a child terrified of the monsters lurking under the bed, but this monster wore his face.
    He's in so deep right now. I can't stress enough how great of a job you guys are doing with Zekk- showing so many side of the same person at once, his inner turmoil, sadness, hate... I loved the allusion to his childhood. He really wasn't ready for all the power and killing he'd had or done- of course, none of them really were, but he has particular reason to be so affected by it.


    As much as he wanted to just close his eyes and sleep forever, there was still one more confrontation that he knew could not be avoided any more.
    :eek:
    Cliffhangers are evil.

     
  21. Jedi-Ant

    Jedi-Ant Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 3, 2007
    Lowie hung by his claws on the crumbling side of the building that formed one of the walls of the ally, waiting until the Shadow Academy was truly trapped then springing into action. Igniting his bronze lightsaber he sliced neatly through the supports of the walkway that overshadowed the alley, racing across the side of the building with a climber?s ease and severing the rest of the rusty supports, sending it crashing down into the Dark Jedi below.

    Awesome! =D= Great opening scene.

    *****

    Tahiri had been scared when the fighting had begun.

    :( Poor dear.

    A lot of people had died, though. Gang members and Shadow Academy students both. They had been shot down of sliced apart, some silently, some with a scream. In the end, though, they all died. It didn?t really seem to matter if they were good guys or bad guys.

    Oh! What a tragic thing for someone so young to see and hear! :_| I think Tahiri and the rest of the kids just grew up a heck of a lot ? they?d have to in order to get through something like this.

    Even as she thought that, she heard Sannah gasp with horror. Following her friend?s yellow gaze, Tahiri felt her heart stop. Before she could even register what she was seeing, a Dark Jedi slipped past Jovan?s defense, batting aside his lightsaber and slashing his chest open, turning away to face another opponent before the Rodian had even hit the ground.

    :eek:

    Jovan? dead?!? :_| Now what of the children? [face_worried]

    Tears stung her green eyes and she grabbed Anakin?s hand, squeezing it hard enough to hurt. She had never thought of war as a game, had realized how serious it would be, but somehow she had not thought any of her friends would die. Strangers, maybe, but no one she knew, almost as though that friendship would be enough to keep them safe.

    Somehow, life seemed a lot sadder now that she knew it would not.


    Oh, perfectly-crafted Tahiri scene! :D I?m so glad you?re using her so much, it?s wonderful! She really is my favourite, along with Valin. [face_love]

    And you?re doing such a superb job with her! Her realization that war wasn?t a game was very well thought out. I mean, to young kids, Jedi or not, war would seem like a game, and people getting hurt wouldn?t be thought about until someone they know or love is killed.

    How very sad and tragic that it had to be Jovan.

    *****

    Vilas exploded towards him, a whirlwind of rage and hatred. Their matching blades collided with a clash and Zekk flipped backwards, putting the desk behind him and using the Force to send a chair hurling towards his opponent. Vilas dodged smoothly, slashing it in half as he did and giving Zekk enough time to spring in to attack once more.

    Sweet! A lightsaber duel. :D

    *sits down to watch the rest of the duel play out*

    The lightsaber seared across his left bicep, slicing effortlessly through armor and flesh. Zekk yanked his arm away in time to prevent it from being severed, but he knew without even looking that the wound was deep. Smoke rose from it along with the sickening smell of burning meat and he stumbled. It hurt more than he could possibly have imagined.

    :eek:

    Lucky he?s still got his arm, but oh! How that must hurt! [face_sick] Now he?s got no chance of beating Vilas, with an injury like that, it?s bound to slow him down.

    Unless Jaina comes to the rescue?

    ?Too scared to fight, vent crawler?? Vilas?s mocking voice echoed through the corridor, slowly coming closer. ?Why am I not surprised? After all, only a coward would have killed Tamith Kai the way you did.? The voice was getting nearer now. ?I?d almost let you go, but then you might come back and make trouble for me," he taunted, almost beneath Zekk?s crawlspace. ?Besides, I really want to finish you off myself. I can?t wait to watch your face when I kill you.?

    Stupid villain. *shakes head* Why do they always insist on talking to their prey? Why not just sneak up on them?

    He deserves to die.
     
  22. Stookymalarkey

    Stookymalarkey Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Apr 10, 2007
    That fight was more brutal than the one in Lightsabers, which just highlights how strongly the two were indoctorined with the Sith school of thought. Overall it makes the story all the more compelling. Hope you'll update soon.
     
  23. YJKTribe

    YJKTribe Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Dec 12, 2006
    GeithJiseo2:

    Thanks for reading! :)

    ZekksGoddess:

    With three assasination attempts the week before, he shouldn't have been surprised.

    He?s a very popular guy right now. :p

    He's in so deep right now. I can't stress enough how great of a job you guys are doing with Zekk- showing so many side of the same person at once, his inner turmoil, sadness, hate... I loved the allusion to his childhood. He really wasn't ready for all the power and killing he'd had or done- of course, none of them really were, but he has particular reason to be so affected by it.

    Thanks! [:D]

    Cliffhangers are evil.

    Why, yes. Yes, they are. [face_mischief]

    Jedi-Ant:

    And you?re doing such a superb job with her! Her realization that war wasn?t a game was very well thought out. I mean, to young kids, Jedi or not, war would seem like a game, and people getting hurt wouldn?t be thought about until someone they know or love is killed.

    Glad you?re enjoying! Tahiri is a great character and we have fun writing her. :)

    Ah. So he?s not so dark after all, hmm? He wanted to kill Vilas so bad, and hated him so much he didn?t think his death would affect him, but just look. There?s hope for Zekk yet.

    Yup!

    Stookymalarkey:

    That fight was more brutal than the one in Lightsabers, which just highlights how strongly the two were indoctorined with the Sith school of thought. Overall it makes the story all the more compelling. Hope you'll update soon.

    Thanks! :) Another update is coming right up! :)
     
  24. YJKTribe

    YJKTribe Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Dec 12, 2006
    Episode 24: Over the Hills and Far Away
    Part 1




    The perfect words never crossed my mind,
    'cause there was nothing in there but you
    I felt every ounce of me screaming out
    But the sound was trapped deep in me
    All I wanted just sped right past me
    While I was rooted fast to the earth
    I could be stuck here for a thousand years
    Without your arms to drag me out

    ?Signal Fire
    , Snow Patrol

    ***

    Death.

    It was dizzying, a claustrophobic spiral, a single sun collapsing in the midst of millions of still-shining stars. Jaina felt it all around her and wondered if the gravity of all these deaths would pull her into whatever black hole awaited the spirits of the lost. She struggled to focus on the battle around her, but?

    It was Jovan.

    Jaina gritted her teeth against the pain, bit her lip to fight the tears, and shut down to everything but the strength of the Force. Shouts and blasterfire and the deadly hum of lightsabers rattled the air around her; the main power plant loomed at the head of the alleyway.

    It was Jovan, it was your friend, he?s?

    Not. Now.


    She had other things to worry about. And she had to ensure that no one else died today. She pressed herself against the side of a building to dodge debris hurled by a team of Dark Jedi; closing her eyes, she found the object in the Force and sent it spinning back toward her attackers. Their pain and confusion rang desperate in her ears and she clamored forward as her adversaries struggled to regain their equilibrium.

    ?Where are you going, Solo?? Ghorte screamed from behind her.

    ?I?m going after their leader!? she shouted back, knowing he wouldn?t approve. But he wouldn?t be able to stop her, either, and she could defend her actions after the battle. If it ever came to that.

    ?Kriffing coward!? he roared after her. ?Is this what Solos do? Run away to hide??

    Jaina wanted to point out that she was heading toward the enemy's headquarters rather than away from them, but adrenaline pushed her onward and stole her breath. She had never felt so close to the Force?and so drained by its infinite energy.

    A Dark Jedi sped toward her from one side, lightsaber raised, but before Jaina could raise her violet blade to parry the blow, blaster bolts from the direction of the alleyway riddled the young man. Another little supernova, another little blackhole, spun through Jaina?s mind. She fought against it and focused instead on the only thing that mattered:

    Zekk.

    She could feel him, dangerous, engulfed in a blind panic. She didn?t know what had happened to put him in such a state, didn?t know why he wasn?t fighting alongside his soldiers, but she was determined to find out.

    ?What are you waiting for, Jaina?? she murmured, stopping before the power plant?s gargantuan entryway. Taking a deep breath, she plunged her lightsaber into the control panel. The doors slid open and Jaina stepped over the threshold into the darkness.

    ***

    ?They?re coming!? Alema screamed, her voice hoarse. It echoed through the darkened building, shaking the dilapidated structure until Alema wondered if it would crash down around her. Shapes flinched in the shadows, slithering along the walls: the gang members taking up position as they waited to spring their ambush.

    Numa plowed through the doorway, skidding to a halt beside her sister in the dim cavernous space. ?They?re right behind us!? she echoed. She grabbed Alema?s hand and pulled her deeper into the shadowy room. A scuffle sounded behind them and Alema looked back as the first Shadow Academy soldiers cut their way through the locked door.

    Crouching in a corner, Alema hoisted her blaster and tried to still her nerves as the Dark Jedi crept into the silent space in search of their prey.

    Prey.

    Because Alema had never been anything but bait.

    Prey.

    Alema growled in the back of her throat as the Dark Jedi looked around, clearly nervous. And then a noise ripped through the silence?the screech of a hawk-bat; that
     
  25. ZekksGoddess

    ZekksGoddess Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 2, 2004
    She fought against it and focused instead on the only thing that mattered: Zekk.
    [face_love]

    Alema rushed forward through the smoke, abandoning her cover, trying to get closer to her prey. Prey. Because she was tired of being hunted.
    Her determination is borderline creepy- but judging from her attitude and her past, that's how it should be.

    He was a mirror, a shell. He was nothing. And she?s here.
    This whole scene with Zekk was awesome. So many emotions all at once- fear, pain, anger. It was written really well.

    She raced forward to meet the alien, raising her lightsaber so that the tip slid through the woman?s chest.
    Well, I guess Jaina won't be getting her wish for no more deaths.

    She?s my age, she?s only my age, Ardaniele?s heart protested
    :( Poor girl.

    ...she sensed the frayed tangle of his thoughts...
    I love that description. :D

    ?I won?t.? Numa?s face was too calm. ?Sister, I?ll never leave.? But her eyes flitted shut and stayed that way, and when Alema searched her heart for the fire of her sister?s presence, she found nothing.
    Oh...so sad. :(

    He didn?t know what to think, and so he didn?t bother with thought; he pulled her close, clutched her small body to him, reveled in the way her stunned intake of breath drowned out the screams of his demons. His arms snaked around her, crushing her against his armor, and he buried his face in her shoulder. She believed in him, after all he had done, and he wanted her sweet innocence to fill the dark shell he had carved in his soul.
    :eek: :D [face_love] [face_love]


    That.Chapter.Rocked.
    I was on the edge of my seat the whole time- it was so intense.
    Everything between Zekk and Jaina was amazing, all the emotion- argh, I want to read it again!:)
     
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