Droids

Note: Okay, this is a story that I'm currently working on for a fanfilm. I thought it be interesting to gauge people's reaction for the fanfilm... Okay, here goes:

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Droids
By the author _jOBO

Chapter 1
Beginings...

The crowded city of Coruscant bustled with people as they pushed their way through the streets. Not the Coruscant we know today, but the smaller city, on a vast planet of forests outside this highly advanced city. People stopped for a drink at the local cafe, as transports and taxis flew overhead. This was just a normal day for a citizen of Coruscant, with the markets covered in people attempting to sell their belongings.
"DROID!! BUY A NICE DROID! OBEYS TO YOUR WILL! ONE OF THE FIRST PRODUCTION MODELS OF A PROTOCALL!! OBEYS YOU!! NEW LINE OF DROIDS, PROTOCALL, AND I'VE GOT ONE THAT CAN OWN!! ONLY 1000 DACTARIES!! TAKE IT WHILE YOU CAN!" a merchant screamed, attempting to drown out his competition.
"Uh, excuse me, how much, again, for the protocal? 1000? Um, what's his produstion number?" a young man asked.
Seeing the lightsaber dangling at the man's belt, the merchant said, "C1AA. That's his number, but for you, I think a, uh, discount is in order, eh?" He said, smiling . The droid, however, stood utterly confused ? .
"Deal," the young Jedi said, "I'll be back at dusk with the money to pick up this droid.

End Chapter "Beginings"

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Well, that's what I have so far? What did you think?

the tired _jOBO

 

Not bad, good beginning, could be interesting, but a little short...
Keep up the good work!

 

Well, yeah, that was my main problem, too much to write and not enough time... I'll make the next part longer.
the decisive _jOBO

 

LOL- been there done that...