FF:NSW Dsource's "what if" thread, sponsered by Ki-Bara-Mundi and posted by JediEnna (don't ask).

But Scream, you commented on how well dressed I was at Sam's. Remember after we all jumped out of the car when Burnsie snuck up on us?

Back to the topic...

BEN: You must learn the ways of the Force, if you're to come with me to Disneyland.

 

Han: I've been waiting to meet you jabba

Jabba: Yes, so have I

shoots Han in the foot
Jabba: Now Dance!

 

Han: Jabba, I'll pay you triple, you're throwing away a fortune, don't be a fool.
Jabba: Shut up.
Han: I could send you to Jenny Craig.
Jabba: ........that would be acceptable.

 

*Paramount Pictures logo*

"...and in the time of greatest despair, there shall come a savior, and he shall be known as The Son of The Suns."
- Journal of the Whills, 3:127

THE STAR WARS!

 

What if Han Solo missed the Tie Fighters at the Battle of Yavin?

 

Han: You're all clear kid now lets blow this thing and go home!

Chewie: RAWAR!

Han: What do u mean i hit the X-Wing?

 

TARKIN: You see Lord Vader? She can be reasonable. Abort firing sequence. And Vader will you please see Princess Leia safely back to her home on Alderaan? Take my shuttle if you like. Here are my keys...

 

What if Vader comes out of the meditation chamber and the officer catches him playing with his dolls?

 

VADER: Did you see anything?!?

OFFICER: No sir! I did not see you playing with your dolls again!

 

Han: I could send you to Jenny Craig.

Jabba: What? You sayin' I'm fat.

Han: Well now that you mention it....

Jabba: That's it stuff the Sarlacc, hand me a blaster someone.....

(Thanks to PM for the idea).

 

Dr Evazan "I have the death sentence in 12 systems!"
Luke " I'll be careful"
Dr Evazan "You'll be DEAD!"
*Goes to push Luke when all of a sudden The Dancing Frog struts down the bar*
Dancing Frog "Hellllo my baby! Hello my honey! Hello my ragtime girl! Baby my hearts on fire! If you refuse me, honey you'll lose me and you'll be left aloooone oh baby, tell me I'm the oneeeeeee"
*exits off the bar, Dr Evazan and Luke look at each other and shrug*
Dr Evazan "Well that was different"
Luke "Yeah, you dont see that everyday, lemme get you a drink"

 

LUKE: I've got a problem here.

BIGGS: Eject!

LUKE: No I'm alright!

BIGGS: Pull up!

LUKE: No I'm - *boom!*

 

What if.....

Death Star in orbit around Alderaan.

Tarkin: You may fire when ready.

Gunner: Commence primary ignition.

<Dramatic music>

<Lever pulled and buttons pushed>

<Superlaser overheats and.....>

KABOOM no more Death Star.

 

PML D!

 

Han: How we doing?

Luke: Same as always.

Han: Really? Man, we suck at this....

 

luke: That's right, sux to be us....

 

C-3PO: Sir, it's quite possible that this asteroid isn't entirely stable.
Han: Nah, it's right. just give us a while, and it'll be sweet

 

Han: Shut him up or shut him down

Leia Blasts threepio to pieces.

 

THREEPIO: Oh where's Artoo when I need him?!? All alone on this asteroid...no-one talk to...all I want is to be held!

*Chewie promptly embraces Threepio*

 

Stormtrooper 1: "There's one, set for Stun".
Stormtrooper 2: *Pulls trigger* "Oh ***t".

 

Leia: ...help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope!

Ben: wow...what a fox!

Luke: Huh?

Ben: er....U must come with me to Alderaan...

 

Tarkin: fire
Chief Bast: We can't fire sir, the guy who does the forboding drum roll is taking a ciggie break

 

HAN: You've never heard of the Batmobile? I out run The Joker's henchmen.

 

Vader: No ... I am your Father!

Luke: No ... That's not true ... THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

Vader: It gets worse ... Luke, Jabba is your Grandfather!

 

*Luke chops off Vader's hand*
Imperial Guard: Ok Palpatine. You owe me 50 credits! Vader lost!
Emperor: VADER YOU HAVE COST ME MONEY!!! *zaps Vader*