Beyond - Legends Dubious Dinner ~ a Holiday Fic-gift for snowspeeder_gunner

MiralukaJedi · Dec 10, 2008

Dubious Dinner

Fic-gift for snowspeeder_gunner

She wanted

1.Eating
2.Someone laughing so hard they start crying
3.A character making a choice

Characters: Wedge, Hobbie, Wes Janson
I don?t want: Angst

Summary: Having nothing to do while on leave on Coruscant, Wes decides to invite some of his friends out for a night on the town. Where they end up though could probably be rated as the worst cantina in the entire galaxy.
Timeframe: post ROTJ
Genre: Humour

My apologies if this isn't that great. This is my first try at humour.

Of all the things that could happen, being bored was something that Wes Janson had never really liked. As a child on Tanaab, he?d hated it and it continued through adulthood. So, having nothing to do while on leave on the city-planet of Coruscant was pure torture for the prankster pilot. He didn?t have any friends around to even pull pranks on and from what he knew; all the other Rogues were all doing things with their leave while he was doing nothing. It wasn?t fair at all, it really wasn?t. So, with that thought in mind, Janson decided to do something about it. He?d comm each one of them until he found some of them and they?d go find something to do. They were Rogues after all and Rogues had a reputation for pulling off the impossible.

After going through all his friends, he found that Wedge and Hobbie were similarly bored. So, he convinced them that a night on the town was what they all needed. Wearily, fearing another prank, they had agreed.

Now all that was left was to find something to do.

[hr]

?Tell me again, why we ended up at this dump?? Wedge said as the waitress set out the third rate Corellian ale that they?d ordered. This dive on the lower levels of Coruscant didn?t offer something as decent as Whyvern?s reserve.

?Because Janson thought it would be fun to go somewhere that actually advertises itself as the worst cantina on the planet, maybe even the galaxy.? Hobbie groaned.

?Come on; think of this as an adventure. All the stories we?ll have to tell and we can now say that we?ve been to the worst place to eat and drink in the galaxy.? Wes was grinning stupidly. Yeah, he was definitely that bored. It was starting to affect his brain a little too much.

?Alright Wes, explain. How is this going to be an adventure?? Wedge asked before taking a swig of his ale. The ale burned its way down his throat and caused him to shudder. If the ale was this bad, he didn?t relish tasting the food that Wes had ordered them on the way in.

?Well, it works like this. We brave the worst cantina in the galaxy, its food and ale, and yes, everything else that goes with it. If we can survive rampaging Imperials, crazed lunatic warlords, and pirate gangs, then we can survive this. Without the hazard to our lives.? He smirked satisfactory as he took a swig of his own ale.

With that, the waitress returned baring their food, which looked like it had either been drug out of a cesspool or industrial waste. It was brown, murky, and smelt bad. It was truly the most dubious of dinners that any of them had ever seen.

?Janson, what was this called again?? Hobbie asked poking at the suspect food with his fork. Wedge himself would later swear that he?d seen it move.

?Diagona surprise. Though the picture looked a lot better than this. Sorry.? Wes winced.

?If this tastes as bad as it looks Janson, I?m going to get you.? Wedge said, meaning every word to the man who had inadvertently done this to him.

?Yub, yub commander.? Janson mock saluted before digging into the disgusting meal with a rare gusto.

Neither of the other pilots dared try and eat the ?meal? as they watched Janson begin to eat with morbid fascination. He scooped up a piece of it between a fork and a spoon, wrinkling his nose slightly at the smell of it, before he finally went and swallowed the food. Then his face scrounged up in a look of absolute disgust and his eyes looked as if they were about to bulge out of his head. He quickly spit out the revolting food, which they hit a nearby wall with an audible splat. It was still st

DarthIshtar · Dec 10, 2008

Oh dear, that was awesome. Except now I have an idea of how it came to be advertised as the worst place in the galaxy. A guy let his wife do the advertising for his new cantina and she started the ad campaign for ?Worst Food in the Galaxy? five minutes before she served divorce papers. By the time he found out and wanted to fix it, people were coming there for the tourist effect. It stuck.

snowspeeder_gunner · Dec 10, 2008

Ahahahaha yaaaay!

That was so great! I love seeing those guys up to their usual tricks, and Wes really outdid himself this time.

If we can survive rampaging Imperials, crazed lunatic warlords, and pirate gangs, then we can survive this. Without the hazard to our lives

Haha, not so soon Wes! The description of the food was hilarious as well. I especially liked the part where Wedge thought he saw it move.

And then they made Wes eat the food, which was also hilarious. I guess he got what he deserves!

Thanks so much for the gift! I really liked it!