Saga Dueling Duets (2009 Dare Challenge; Dooku, Ventress, Anakin, Obi-wan; humor)

Title: Dueling Duets
Author: Alexis_Wingstar
Timeframe: Sometime during the Clone Wars
Note: This is for the 2009 Dare Challenge. Here is what I was given:

My dare is simple: "Write a viggie where Dooku and Ventress take on Ani and Obi in a duel. The catch: Dooks and Ventress must be singing a duet. You can use any song you want, but try to find a song that fits the situation. A good idea would to modify to lyrics to make it more funny.

Your choice if Ani/Obi join in on the song or a song of their own.


Well, I used several different duets, and a song that wasn't a duet, mostly paraphrased (not listed in order of appearance): "Prima Donna" from Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Phantom of The Opera"; The Confrontation in "Les Miserables"; "Do You Hear What I Hear?"; "Islands in the Stream"; and "Sixteen Going on Seventeen" by Rogers and Hammerstein's "Sound of Music". EDIT: And also Sonny & Cher's "I Got You Babe".

I hope you enjoy it.

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Anakin followed behind his master with a puzzled frown. [i]There?s something wrong here? he?s no longer my master, but he looks like he did just when the war started? I?m a knight now? what?s going on? Am I dreaming? It seems real though.[/i] He was about to say something when Obi-wan held up his hand for silence.

Then he began singing!

?Do you hear what I hear?? His voice echoed in the narrow cave walls so that the question was repeated. ?The Sith, the Sith, lurking down below in the darkness drowning out all light.?

[i]Yeah, I hear them alright, but with you singing like a screech owl, they can hear you too,[/i] the younger Jedi thought. Then he concentrated on what the Sith in question was saying. To his dismay, Count Dooku was singing as well? with the bald she-rancor named Assaj Ventress, at that. The two Jedi crept ahead to come to a stop on a cliff overlooking a large cavern. On the floor of this cave were the two dark figures the young knight had grown to despise.

?Ventress, when I met you, you were a force unknown. I set out to teach you with new lightsabers.?

?I was weak before, there was somethin? going on. You taught something to me that I can?t explain. Make me a Sith now, I feel no pain.?

?Tending a Sith?s duty? It requires a dedication. All this hate we feel needs no conversation.?

Anakin shook his head in mystification as Count Dooku and Ventress continued singing in a strange harmony.

?Two Sith in the storm, that is what we are??

The singing was interrupted when the two Jedi jumped down from the cliff as they sang, ?I got your back, I got your back.? The two had their lightsabers drawn and lighted before they landed.

[i]This is awful,[/i] Anakin thought, [i]why by Jarjar?s ears are we [b]singing[/b]? Does anyone besides me find this weird?[/i]

?Dooku, at last, we see each other plain.?

?Before you say another word, young Knight, listen to me! There is something I must do. The galaxy suffers under a madman?s chains. There is none but me who can intercede.?

?You must think [i]me[/i] mad!? Obi-wan sang with an incredulous tone to his voice. ?What you?ve done across the years? a man like you can never change.?

?Believe of me what you will. There is a duty that I'm sworn to do. You know nothing of my life. All I did was steal some bread.?

At this, the two Jedi looked at each other , nonplused, then looked at the bald lady as if for clarification. She shrugged, looking just as bewildered at her master?s choice of words. Without even noticing his audience?s confusion, Dooku continued singing. ?You know nothing of the world. You would sooner see me dead, but not before I see this justice done. I am warning you Kenobi, I'm a stronger man by far. There is power in me yet. My race is not yet run. I am warning you, Jedi, there is nothing I won't dare. If I have to kill you here, I'll do what must be done!?

?My duty's to the law - you betrayed us, now our battle must be won. Now the wheel has turned around. Every

 

That was...I think...utterly...I'm not sure what to...I'm going to have "You aren't Sith yet!" stuck in my head for days.

 

Hilarious, great, what a way to wake up. A great response to the challenge.

 

Wow, that was amazing! I was grinning through the whole thing. The songs you used fit really well, especially with the modifications, and Confrontation was a great choice for Dooku and Obi-Wan. And then the last line...

?Believe of me what you will. There is a duty that I'm sworn to do. You know nothing of my life. All I did was steal some bread.?

At this, the two Jedi looked at each other , nonplused, then looked at the bald lady as if for clarification. She shrugged, looking just as bewildered at her master?s choice of words. Without even noticing his audience?s confusion, Dooku continued singing.

That was my favorite because I could just imagine the looks on their faces. Great response to your dare! I really enjoyed this.

 

That was funny! Poor Anakin gets picked on by his Padawan

 

?By the way, Skyguy, I?d take some vocal lessons, if I were you.?



At least it was all just a dream and only Ahsoka was the only one to hear Anakin's off-tune singing.

Great response to the challenge!

 

I wasn't familiar with all the tunes, but for those I know, it was hilarious! When I first read the dare, my initial reaction was Westside Story, but that would have been too lame I suppose. You did great with your choices.

 

Awesome take on my dare!

Made me laugh. Very funny.

 

Well done! Although I have to admit, I would have thought you'd have Obi singing Valjean's part and Dooku singing Javert's. Perhaps the whole "good guy/bad guy" thing. I loved it!

 

Oh my! That was so hilarious! Great job with that dare That was a hard one if I ever saw!

Poor Anakin, at least it was only a dream

Once again excellent work

 

very funny. I enjoyed it. Great job

 

What an impossible dare, but this was really funny!

I do shudder just thinking about the research you must have put into this to find all the right songs....