main
side
curve
  1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

  2. Hey Fanficers! In fixing the prefixes something happened and now you can't edit titles. Don't panic! We're looking into what happened and trying to fix it.
  3. 2017 Fan Fiction Awards - Nominations

Beyond - Legends "Dying by Degrees" -- {angst, AU, dark L/M, & really quite weird}

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by vader_incarnate, May 11, 2005.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. vader_incarnate

    vader_incarnate Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 29, 2002
    Title: "Dying by Degrees"
    Author(s): vader_incarnate
    Timeframe: post-Dark Empire
    Characters: Luke, Mara, various
    Genre: Angst, AU, vignette, dark
    Keywords: L/M, AU, Dark Luke
    Summary: Each man kills the thing he loves. He just does it more thoroughly than most.
    Notes: Warning: darkness, mature themes and mild sexuality.

    I'm frustrated. *shrugs* I think a lot of 'fic writers are frustrated, for a variety of reasons. But when I'm frustrated, I kill people. :p More than a little confusing.

    [hr]

    There was a meal waiting on the table when he entered his apartments.

    He had always hated all the excessive luxury of the Imperial Palace, but the dishes and cutlery looked suspiciously like the simple plates he had grown up with. And no, he wouldn't put it past his master to send troops to Tatooine just to salvage a few plates from the Lars' homestead. It would have been, he thought, a supremely Palpatine thing to do.

    The meat, some species he didn't recognize, was burnt on one side and undercooked on the other, the vegetables stringy and overcooked, and something that looked remarkably like mashed up ration bars sat on the side. No matter how many times he showed her how to use the food dispenser, she insisted on cooking herself, burnt food and all.

    He pasted a careful smile on his face and made a show of eating a little of everything, knowing that he would grab himself a ration bar from the kitchens in a few hours, knowing that she would weep if he didn't at least pretend to eat.

    It used to be that she would get angry, but the doctors changed her medicine so that she never got angry anymore.

    He looked into once-vivid green eyes as she gave him a shy smile, and he wanted to scream. He knew that once he started screaming he would never be able to stop.

    "Good?" she asked, hesitant. Her words had lost the slur she'd been giving them for the first few months after all this had begun. She learned quickly, Mara, and that hadn't change no matter what other parts of her he'd killed. "I tried -- "

    "Delicious," he cut in, because the sight of Mara seeking his approval -- seeking anyone's approval -- was enough to take away his appetite. The knowledge that he had been the one to cause it did nothing to assuage the feeling. He grabbed her hand, careful to use the left one, the one that was still flesh and blood. "Come to bed," he said.

    Unnoticed, the cup of red wine was tipped, letting the sweet liquid spill across the cloth, a deep, rich red the color of old blood. It spread slowly across the white tablecloth, dark red staining the pure white.

    She smiled and nodded, putting up no argument though he left her meal sitting out to get cold on the table all but untouched. He led her to the bedroom and she followed docilely, a lamb to the slaughter. He had no doubt that, when the time came, she would walk just as docilely to her death.

    She walked slowly, uncertainly, the muscles remembering a task that the mind had forgotten. A dancer's grace reduced to a bantha's clumsiness. In time, perhaps, she would remember; for now, she moved like a child, awkward and erratic, a teenager with feet too large for her body. And again, he felt that phantom pain in a heart that had long since died.

    He paused outside the bedroom door and waved her in, watching her go and appreciating the view for longer than he ever would have dared before. He turned and took off his lightsaber before entering the bedroom. It was an unnecessary precaution, perhaps, given that there was less than no chance at all she would be able to get it from him, much less remember how to use it, but luck favored the prepared and the paranoid.

    Their coupling was passionate and intense, and in it he could see a shadow of the woman she had once been, the woman he had once known, the woman he may once have been able to fall in love with. For a few short moments, she was Mara again: ardent and earnest, fierce and wild, and her nai
     
  2. AvenKiel

    AvenKiel Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 18, 2003
    Ooohhhh, tres creepy!! Wonderful!!
     
  3. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Yes, very fascinatingly creepy. The first part did make me want to retch because Mara was so warped.
     
  4. Knight_Aragorn

    Knight_Aragorn Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 15, 2003
    Woah... Is this ever dark. I can't believe he did that to Mara! :_| You captured Luke's darkness incredibly well -- 'shiver-inducing' really doesn't begin to describe it. The title... so very apt. Powerful work, very well-written. Wonderfully disturbing. :p Well done.
     
  5. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    :eek:

    Okay, then. Note to self. NEVER, EVER frustrate vader_incarnate!

    I loved it, but :eek: WHOA!

    =D=
     
  6. LadyPadme

    LadyPadme Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 26, 2002


    Does your muse stay up late at night watching too many horror movies? It was great...twisted, creepy and very well done!
     
  7. AnakinsHeir

    AnakinsHeir Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 2, 2004
    Is it cold in here? I think it is. VERY, VERY cold. Depths of Sith Hell cold. :eek:

    Very well done. But I think I'm a little scared, I really do.
     
  8. maryaminx

    maryaminx Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2005
    Wonderful. Very creepy, but wonderful.

    When is the Luke/Mara flashback supposed to take place?
     
  9. RedGold

    RedGold Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 29, 2004
    ...


    ...


    Damn
     
  10. Agent_Jaid

    Agent_Jaid Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 21, 2003


    .... :eek:...... :eek:!!.... mommeh?... :eek: you just.... KILLED EVERYONE!!! :D :D Even better? You killed Leia. ;)

    That was terrific Goddess!!! :D!! Simply terrific!!! The darkness, the chill, the sweet cooing of evil.... [face_love] Simply lovely!

    I felt like crying over her cooking though. :p Poor Luke. I'll bet if he knew that she would end up that bad of a cook, he probably wouldn't have done that... :p

    Well done. :D



     
  11. StarFighter5

    StarFighter5 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 25, 2003
    I don't have much to say about this except...wow. It leaves a weird feeling in my gut.
     
  12. Leia

    Leia Jedi Grand Master star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 8, 1998
    Your angst is so good it's ridiculous. And I'm rushed, so that's all I'll say.

    Incredible, vader_incarnate, and the title is superb. @};-
     
  13. RebelPrincess

    RebelPrincess Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jan 6, 2001
    Wow.

    I think that's the creepiest dark Luke I've ever read. I loved it! *Shivers*
     
  14. Mirax-Jade

    Mirax-Jade Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 7, 2003
    ...eep.


    That was...so scary...but so well written...but...eep!


    *holds stuffed ewok and hides*
     
  15. vader_incarnate

    vader_incarnate Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 29, 2002
    Thanks for the replies, everyone. [:D] And for the record, killing everyone in the GFFA makes for very good stress relief. :p


    AvenKiel - Thank you! :)

    DarthIshtar - Whoa, I made Ish want to retch. [face_thinking] Can I, like, put that in my sig line or something? :p Thank you! @};-

    Knight_Aragorn - [face_blush] For the record, I'm going to blame that on Orwell's 1984, which I had to write about during one of my AP exams. Because that ending ("Under the spreading chestnut tree / I sold you and you sold me") is the creepiest thing in modern literature. o_O Thanks!

    VaderLVR64 - *laughs* You should have seen my notes after ... well, let's call it my "prom drama". o_O It's probably a good thing I don't post everything I write ... *mutters* Thank you! :D Frustration = better now.

    LP - LOL, I don't think so. [face_thinking] I'll have to monitor her hours more closely, though; make sure she doesn't go sneaking off to watch TV while the rest of the house is abed. [:D] Thanks, LP!

    AnakinsHeir - Scared can be fun. [face_devil] But aw, I'll get you a blankie for next time. [:D] If, you know, there's a next time. :D Thanks!

    maryaminx - Eh ... sometime during the Dark Empire arc? *shrugs* I have no idea, honestly. [face_blush] It just kinda happened. In general, though, let's go with that. o_O

    RedGold - Damn in a good way? ;)

    Agent_Jaid - Aw, I didn't kill ... *thinks* Huh. I guess I did kill everyone. o_O Didn't even notice. :p

    Mara inherited her cooking skills from me, I think. [face_blush] Did you know that it's possible to mess up Easy Mac? Eh.

    StarFighter5 - *laughs* Weird feeling in your gut in a good way, or in the indigestion kind of way? [face_thinking] [:D] Thanks!

    Leia - Thank you! @};- Angst is fun. [face_blush] But, for the record, I think my humor is even more ridiculous. 8-} :D

    RebelPrincess - Thank you! @};- I like writing Dark Luke. Dunny why. [face_blush] I should stop doing that someday ...

    Mirax-Jade - Thanks! And don't hide, the fic is over! [face_shocked] :p @};-
     
  16. JadeLotus

    JadeLotus Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2005

    I suppose the one constant in any universe is that Mara can't cook!

    Wow. I really enjoy Dark!Luke fics and this one was amazing.

    But the really dark thing about this fic was Mara - so utterly destroyed, an empty shell, really. Very creepy. But really well done. It's so hard to imagine Mara like that, and you pulled it off perfectly. Bravo!

    He's beyond anger now, in a realm of cold rationalization and icy passions that freeze the soul to the core rather than igniting it. And for this he will never forgive himself, because he knows in his heart that he made this decision of his own accord rather than at his master's behest or because of anything he can so simply explain away.

    He damned his own soul.

    "You'll never lie to me again," he assures her, and reaches to the Force.

    She reinforces her shields, too little and too late, while he unleashes a wave of cold, dark power. He rips through her barriers like tissue, forces his way in to her fragile and unprotected psyche. He rakes through her memories, her personality, her essential self, rapes and plunders and pillages all the things that make her Mara, warping and twisting them beyond recognition. And he will never forget the twisted satisfaction that comes from thoroughly raping her mind.

    She screams


    That passage is so evocative - it sent shivers up my spine.

    Again - well done. I really loved this fic.

     
  17. academygrad88

    academygrad88 Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 6, 2004
    That was one deep, dark fic! I loved it!

    AG88
     
  18. Agent_Jaid

    Agent_Jaid Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 21, 2003


    Aw, I didn't kill ... *thinks* Huh. I guess I did kill everyone. o_O Didn't even notice.

    [face_laugh] YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE!?!?!?!? *cracks up laughing*

    Mara inherited her cooking skills from me, I think. Did you know that it's possible to mess up Easy Mac? Eh.


    Yeah.... [face_blush] I know what you mean. I've messed up Easy Mac before... erm, AND I got the fire department called over spagetti + garlic bread.... *hides face* SO ASHAMED!!!! :p Fear not Goddess, you are not alone....

     
  19. StarFighter5

    StarFighter5 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 25, 2003
    Weird in a good way.
     
  20. ari_stormset

    ari_stormset Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Apr 7, 2005
    Mi dio, vader_incarnate, what in God's name did you take?! This was...this was somethign monstrous, and dark, and tormented, and in the end, beautiful. Beuaitful for its sher humanity.

    How in the world did you come up with something this haunting?

    For all its darkness, it was deep. For all its depth, it was beautiful. I am, of course, impressed.

    Keep on writing, mi amigo! Esta bello, hermoso... and really, really good!!! ^_^

    Peace of the Lord (and I'd need it after writing that!)(jk, jk!!!!) ~ Ari.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.