Before Eccentric Meditations of the Little Green Troll (Humor, Pre-TPM, Young Yoda) **Update 4/10/11**

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by BottledUpInside, Mar 6, 2011.

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  1. BottledUpInside Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 28, 2005
    star 3
    Author's note: I read a wonderful piece of fiction by ardavenport called "Rough Place" several weeks ago. In this story, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan end up having a very interesting meditation experience. I definitely suggest that you all read this fic. It got me thinking about all of the weird places the jedi must have had occasion to meditate in. I thought that Yoda would certainly have some interesting places of his own.

    And so I present the first of a series of vingettes dedicated to the strange places I imagine Yoda has communed with the force. These have not been beta'd, so if I have any glaring mistakes, please let me know and I'll be happy to fix them. I hope you enjoy!

    Disclaimer: I own nothing. Sad day.

    Eccentric Meditations of the Little Green Troll: A Trash Can
    Of the many species of jedi in the Temple, Initiate Yoda was undoubtedly the smallest. When he was fully grown he would be no taller than the average, human five year old, and at the age of 7, he was perhaps no bigger than a toddler. Being so small, Yoda was quite used to being bullied. When twelve year old Initiate Ka-lum approached him with a sneer on his face, Yoda knew nothing good was about to happen.

    ?Come to pick on me, you have.? Yoda said, with a note of unhappiness coloring his voice.

    The bully rolled his eyes. ?Try to resist, you will not.? He was obviously mocking the young one?s way of speaking.
    In his short eight years Yoda had learned to tolerate the midget jokes, the big ear jokes, and a little bit of rough housing, but when someone made fun of the placement of his helping verbs, it really got on his nerves! His training saber lit up with a familiar snap-hiss and he leapt to strike the older boy. Ka-lum managed to dodge the blow and activated his own weapon.

    ?Not a wise choice was that, bantha-brian!? He lunged at the younger initiate and a short battle ensued. Being so young, Yoda had yet to have any serious saber training. Before he knew it he was disarmed, lying on his back, and then rolled in his own robe like a nerf-wrap sandwich.

    Ka-lum lifted the squirming mass of fabric and ignored the muffled, ?Put me down, you will!? that came from the small mass. In a few swift strides he reached the large trash receptacle at the door of the mess hall and unceremoniously dumped his cargo inside.

    ?That ought to teach you some respect!? Kal-lum yelled gloatingly over his shoulder as he left the scene of the crime.

    Yoda flailed his limbs until finally he found he wriggled his way out of the cloak. The trash receptacles in the mess hall were especially large, and to the tiny initiate?s dismay, this one was barely halfway full. Jumping as high as he could, he attempted to grab the ledge of the barrel. He almost made it, but instead fell back into the smelly waste. Standing once again, he gathered the force around him and leapt. This time his hands managed to grasp the edge. He was about to pull himself up when he realized that he would have to leave his cloak behind. He looked down longingly at the brown material. It was so hard to get them at just the right length for his height.

    He contemplated a moment too long and his fingers began to slip on the greasy rim of the trash can. With a small ?oomph!? he landed back on top of his cloak. Anger and frustration seeped through him. Recognizing that he needed to release these emotions, he wondered what the crèche master would tell him to do. The force answered him.

    Meditate.

    Yoda considered his surroundings. He was sitting in the mess hall trash receptacle, smelling the not so pleasant leftovers of last meal. He could feel the juicier foods starting to seep through his cloak and the force wanted him to meditate.

    Serious, you are? He thought to the force sarcastically.

    Meditate.

    With a sigh the young initiate began to clear his mind. He found it quite difficult as many ideas for revenge on Initiate Ka-lum kept interrupting him. However, he was eventually successful and fell into a deep trance.

    It was several ho
  2. serendipityaey Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2004
    star 4
    Oh my! Strange indeed, but the force works in very mysterious ways [face_mischief] Loved the end, and loved the last line! Very entertaining :D
  3. Luna_Nightshade Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jan 25, 2006
    star 5
    Hehehe, love the meditations in the garbage can. Great idea for a ficlet. Lovely vignette!
  4. Hazel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2010
    star 4
    Tee-hee! I love Yoda.

    I'm wondering what other strange places he had to meditate in.
  5. Sara_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 21, 2000
    star 7
    Way to go, Yoda! That was fantastic! :p
  6. padawan3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 1999
    star 4
    Classic. I particularly loved the last line.
  7. BottledUpInside Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 28, 2005
    star 3
    Serendipityaey: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    Luna_Nightshade: Thanks, the laundry room is up next!

    Hazel: Who doesn't love Yoda? :p

    Sara Kenobi: Thank you!

    padawan 3: Thanks, that was one of my favorite lines to write!





  8. BottledUpInside Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 28, 2005
    star 3
    Of Laundry and Phobias

    Laundry was Initiate Yoda?s least favorite day of the week. Being vertically challenged, it was always hard to load and unload the top opening washers. The dryers weren?t bad so long as he could get there early enough to claim a floor level one. With the amount of laundry done at the temple, machines lined the walls almost to the top of the ceiling.

    Unfortunately, Yoda did not always wake up early enough to claim floor level machines before the many other inhabitants of the temple did and today was one of those sad days. However, the tunic he was wearing was on its second day of wear and laundry simply had to be done. Dragging his bag of dirty clothes behind him, Yoda sent pleas to the force that a floor level washer would still be available so late in the morning.

    The noise of the machines was deafening to rather large ears, but upon spotting a ground level washer, the little one didn?t care. He climbed gleefully to the top of the machine, hauling his dirty load with him. He quickly emptied his clothing into the top loader, tossed in the allotted amount of detergent, and got ready to hop off the washer. Looking down for a moment, he felt the familiar fear of heights rising in him.

    ?Not that far, it is. Jumped down before, you have.?

    He clamped down on his fear and jumped to the floor. Pleased with this accomplishment, he made note of what time to return in order to put his clothes in a dryer. An hour later he returned to the noisy room and looked for a dryer. Much to his trepidation, there were no ground level ones available. His wide eyes scanned the walls and found the only free dryer two rows from the ceiling. He considered finding a senior padawan and asking for help, but remembering the taunts of his peers regarding his fear of heights, he vowed to complete this task on his own.

    Young Yoda gathered his wet clothing into a bag, called on the force to bolster his courage, and began to climb. As he reached the empty dryer, he began to feel confident, that heights weren?t so scary after all. He began to laugh a little and looked down with delight.

    The floor seemed much further away than he had anticipated and he quickly lost all of his confidence, scrambling to the safest place he could find, the inside of the dryer.

    ?Very far away the floor is.? He muttered timidly to himself, sitting atop his bag of wet laundry. Yoda felt very low, how could he ever become a jedi if he couldn?t overcome his fear of heights, much less do his own laundry? He stewed in his negative thoughts for close to a half hour before he heard someone come into the room. Poking his head out of the dryer, he found one of the council members attending his laundry.

    Yoda quickly ducked back into his safe haven. Nothing could be more mortifying than a council member finding him stuck in a dryer. Unfortunately, the master had already sensed him and soon a wizened face appeared in front of the dryer.

    ?Young one, what are you doing in there??

    Color rose on Yoda?s ears as he confessed. ?Afraid of heights, I am. The only dryer available this was. Climbed up I did without looking down, but?? he trailed off in embarrassment.

    ?Ah,? the master finished for him, ?and it?s impossible to jump down without being aware of the drop.?

    Yoda nodded miserably. The master considered the despondent initiate before him and deeply desired to help him down, but the force
    whispered there was more for the young green alien to learn from this.

    ?Do the other initiates tease you about your size?? The master asked.

    ?Yes.? Yoda responded, becoming even more depressed.

    ?And is any of it true? Does your size keep you from learning the same things as your classmates?? the master continued.


    ?No!? Yoda exclaimed; he did very well in all of his classes.

    ?So you might say that size doesn?t matter.?

    Yoda brightened a little.

    ?The why does distance?? The master arched his brow and left the room.

    Yoda sighed. Lunch was soon and instead of helping him down, the master had left him in the drye
  9. dm1 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2004
    star 4
    Trash can, huh? First thing I thought of was Oscar the Grouch!!

    Loved the look at Yoda in his youth, then as an adult for each of these stories.
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