Before Echoes of the Force (Kotor Era, Chapter 20 out now! 2/26/11! Jedi v. Mandalorian v. Sith - Epicness)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by JediDingo, May 28, 2010.

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  1. JediDingo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2005
    star 3
    It takes place the last year and a half of the Mandalorian War. 3,961. You not a big fan of the Man in Black already? haha
  2. LaForzaViva Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 6, 2008
    star 1
    So Aaryn would be what, like 12-15 in mine, 3,970? Sound about right? Or would he be younger?

    Haha welllll Man in Black usually = bad guy...
  3. JediDingo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2005
    star 3
    Correct. Lemme do the math...he'd be right at 15.
  4. LaForzaViva Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 6, 2008
    star 1
    Look for a cameo in the second to next posting! Also, it would be helpful if you could send along, in your words, a description of him physically - I've got his temperament down and the cameo will be brief enough that I won't muck with his personality at all.
  5. SoA Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2008
    star 3
    And they're back. We're still missing two key old friends though. It's great to see the quiet tag-along Belo get himself a good job and start putting himself forward in the world.

    You guys tempt me to do more cross-over cameos myself.
  6. JediDingo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2005
    star 3
    Hey everyone, with the Star Wars Crawl creator I've created crawl for this story! I've done so on Whispers of the Force as well. I think it's pretty neat, it's at the beginning of the first post! Check it out. I'm working on chapter five now, so it should be soon.
  7. JediDingo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2005
    star 3
    Chapter Five
    Living Out Of Time


    All he could hear was the sound of his boots crunching on the dusty, red sand of Geonosis. He didn?t pay attention to the thousands, perhaps millions of screaming fans in the circular Coliseum, he didn?t pay attention the beating sun on his bare chest and back, and he didn?t even pay attention to the two snarling gundarks at the opposite end of the arena. All he could pay attention to was the sand caught in between his toes.

    He hated sand. As he entered the arena, the blood-lusting fans screamed even louder. He was their new champion. He tightened his hand around the grip of his deadly looking vibrosword. Through his T-shaped cortosis helmet he scanned the crowd ? it seemed every single seat was filled the brim. To some he was simply known as the Mandalorian, to others he was the infamous Destroyer, but he only thought of himself as: Gladiator. He had no name for anyone ? so he called himself what he was.

    The grand announcer didn?t even have a chance to announce him to the stage, both gundark breaking free from the chains that held them back. Normally they would have been fighting each other, but both had been starved of food for about a week straight. They would fight once they killed their prey.

    ?Great,? He muttered to himself. He heard the collective gasp as the two monstrous beasts charged toward him. He put away the thoughts of the sand in between his toes and began to jog towards his rushing enemies. That jog quickly became a run, and then a sprint. The largest of the pair of gundarks took lead ? his bluish skin stood out in the harsh sun. The blue gundark and the Gladiator were now just mere meters away, neither one showing any sign of stopping. As the blue gundark leapt up into the air the Gladiator fell to the hot, dry sand and slid right under it. Coming right up in front of the second gundark, he swung his vibrosword across its neck ? purple blood spewing all over him and the ground. The crowd let out a collective ?ahhh?. The Gladiator smiled.

    The blue gundark now understood that his prey had evaded him, killing the other in the process. It stopped, brushing one of its many legs against the sand ? kicking it back several meters high into the air. The Gladiator never took his eyes away from the remaining gundark as he let his vibrosword fall to his side, purple blood dripping from its tip onto the dusty ground. The gundark behind him kept spewing blood everywhere, clawing at something unseen as it squirmed in sand. The blue gundark and Gladiator circled each other slowly ? audible ?clicks? from most of the Genosisan spectators echoed through the arena.

    Every challenge that had been thrown at the Gladiator he had defeated. Nothing or no one would or could stand in his way. The blue gundark kicked one of his legs back again and initiated the charge. The Gladiator stood his ground. As it got closer, he griped his weapon with two hands and swung the instant it was in range ? slicing the top left arm and tucked his head and rolled right before the gundarks right arm swung right where he had been standing. Coming up to his feet right beside the gundark he ran up his hind leg, slashing at its tendon causing it to struggle to stay up. The gundark tried bucking off the intruder, but it was too late for it. Running up its back, the Gladiator reached around the front of its neck and slashed its throat just like the last gundark. The blood spewed even farther than the last, causing the crowd the cheer even more. The Gladiator jumped down from the dying gundark and stuck his sword through the open mouth causing it to die instantly.

    It fell at his feet, the blood reaching the soles of his boots. The rays stretching down from the sun gleamed off his silver helmet ? the only opening of his face that could be seen were through the T-Shaped visor. Once again the cheered for their new and rising champion as he walked towards the opening where he came out.

    ***

    Jagi watched with interest the warrior defeat the two gundarks with ease.
  8. LaForzaViva Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 6, 2008
    star 1
    Noooooo Aaryn's heart will be broken and by then Kaylee will have moved on. Oh, you silly Jedi. Good update! I wanna know who this Mandalorian is, he sounds like a fun character.
  9. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Nice update with the bugs on Geonosis and the interesting characters. Mandalorians meeting Aaryn. At least he has now his new lightsaber. Loved that description and his musings about celibacy.

    =D==D=
  10. SoA Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2008
    star 3
    Nice fight scene there with the gladiator. I wonder who he is.

    It's interesting that Jagi really isn't a fan of the idea that the Sith are allied with Mandalorians. Maybe that might be enough in time for him to turn against his own leaders?

    Also, hoorah for love polygons!

    I think this chapter is the best-written piece I've read of yours so far. Well done!

    Also, you really aught to come over and join us in the Essential Guide ot OCs thread in Fanficion Resource. We have some pretty awesome OC parties over there.

    I have a short I'm working on that takes place just before the Republic enters the Mandalorian Wars. I was thinking of throwing Jagi in, if that's alright with you.
  11. JediDingo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2005
    star 3
    Wow thank you so much! And of course you can use Jagi, you can even flesh out him more if you want to! I give you full freedom with him! He's one of my favs.
  12. JediDingo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2005
    star 3
    Wow, I am so sorry this is taking so long for the next chapter to come out guys! School has started back up for me and it has gotten me very busy. Another reason it has taken so long is because I started writing something, got half way through it and decieded thats not where I wanted to go just yet. So I started all over again with something completely different. I just want it to be the best for you guys so sorry for the delay. I promise it'll be soon though!
  13. JediDingo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2005
    star 3
    Chapter Six
    Interlude ?
    The Waltz ? Part One



    Coruscant, the beautiful, shining jewel of the galaxy, the center of civilization and order far enough from the Mandalorian War for its citizens to feel a certain sense of safety and security. Millions of speeders zoom by the flashing, floating billboards giving real-time updates of the war and the heroes fighting on the front. The blinking lights and beautiful buildings reaching above the clouds was enough to make a new comer to the galaxies capital just a bit dizzy and overwhelmed. Although the fear and threat of the Mandalorians were on the minds of just about everyone living on the planet, most of them knew that the Republic would never let the Mandalorians even get close enough to think about invading the planet. Besides the fiasco two years ago with Haazen trying to take control of the Republic Navy, which most citizens had no idea about, nothing drastic had happened to Coruscant. It was the galaxies constant, and would be the safest place in the galaxy during the war.

    However, no one ever knew that potential the galaxies most dangerous being walked the streets of Coruscant. Night had fallen on this side of Coruscant, and night was when those who disregard the law come out. On the middle level of the city-planet, all sorts of beings came out to steal, kill, and destroy and then would eventually be caught by the local authorities or die trying to succeed in their sin. As they walked out in night even the most vile of villains on a sub-conscious level seemed to move out of the way for him. No one really even noticed , but as he walked pass they moved to the other side of the street or waited until he passed. And no one even knew they were doing it.

    It was a cold night on this side of the city-planet, causing the beings that chose to be outside to see their own breath. He saw his own breath just like everyone else did, and buried his hands into the long, dark overcoat as he walked on. His scuffed up boats clicked against walkway, the speeders zooming by in a lane. His violet eyes were effervescent, almost mesmerizing to those who dared to look into them. A single strand of his white hair fell down in front of his eye and he ran a hand to move back his medium length hair.

    He came to a stop turning his head to regard the structure within viewing distance, in all its glory. He stood, his feet shoulder length apart and titled his head just a bit and a feral smile spread across his mouth. The Jedi Temple, lit up all around its great walls was truly a beautiful sight to behold and all the Man in Black took the necessary streets to head towards the home of the Jedi.

    ***

    The Arkanian Jedi Master sighed heavily, resting his head on his four fingered hand. He clenched his teeth in frustration and took a drink of the Corellian brandy in his glass. The warm liquid ran down his throat and into his stomach. Most Jedi would be absolutely shocked to find out that the Jedi Master would have a drinking problem, but the few that did know was the reason he was not on the Jedi Council. His hand shook as he sat down the glass and looked around his dimly lit room. The dim light always made him feel comfortable, just like his childhood home on Arkania. Kaeit Cruuso missed those innocent days, before he took on the burden of being a Jedi.

    He slowly stood to his feet, swaying slightly. It took a lot to make him drunk, but he was well on his way. He had learned long ago how to mask his intoxication from others through the Force, but here in his private quarters in the Jedi Temple he knew no one would intrude on him. He still kept his presence in the Force clear though. He walked over towards his window, watching the passing lights. Many times in the past he had tried quitting this dangerous habit, back during the Farso incident, before his mission to Corellia with Aaryn, and when Aaryn was on his trials and several other times. He just couldn?t give it up, n
  14. LaForzaViva Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 6, 2008
    star 1
    Oh that was creepy and well done. I wasn't sure where you were going with this as it introduced some new characters and plot lines but that's a pretty good way to wrap it up! Keep writing, even with all the school work we've got!
  15. JediDingo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2005
    star 3
    Oh its not all wrapped up, we'll be coming back to this later. I had this basic outline back before I started Whispers of the Force, and now that Fate of the Jedi is out...lets just say there are some similarities. I'll even be making some references to that series later on. That may be too big of a hint. Oh well.
  16. LaForzaViva Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 6, 2008
    star 1
    Oh I just meant wrapping the chapter up.

    And luckily for you, I have no idea what Fate of the Jedi is! So you're guaranteed to have one reader completely surprised by whatever you do!
  17. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    A creepy update and who is that dark man?

    And a Sith in the senate[face_skull]

    Great story and wanting more=D=
  18. SoA Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2008
    star 3
    Here's some characters we haven't seen so much of so far. The idea of all those Sith Infiltrators sends a chill down my spine, and this man in black really creeps me out. I hope someone will show up to help Master Cruuso!
  19. JediDingo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2005
    star 3
    Chapter Seven
    Men and Lions



    From the Private Journals of Aaryn Karsa

    I use to have dreams when I was younger, dreams of me conquering legions of Sith armies, standing on top of corpses with my lightsaber gleaming amidst the rising sun light, my golden armor blinding those still dying Sith. A champion of the Force, dying in the blaze of glory! Yet, here I am, on some backwater planet whose name I can?t even remember about to die of humidity.

    We have just touched down on the planet, and as soon as we walked off the ship my brow instantly started sweating. At least I made sure that I wore appropriate attire, but that still didn?t change the fact that the air is sticky. Eh. I have kept my lightsaber on my belt, letting everyone who sees that I am a force to be reckoned with. One because I am excited I have a new lightsaber, and two is because I truly have no idea what we are suppose to be doing here so I figure if I make my presence known then the ball will get rolling.

    That?s usually how it works every time. Gep and Master Gynt decided to come with the rest of us, which was surprising because I rarely saw the Nautolan out of his room. But I can tell he feels what I feel. There is certain darkness here, almost as if it is a breeding ground for the dark side of the Force. Makes sense on a gladiatorial world such as this, with so much needless killing. The dark side is on the rise again, and not just on this world but throughout the galaxy. I?ve felt it ever since I have woken up from the incident. I believe the Jedi feel it and either choose to ignore it, or start to join to its flow.

    It has been growing, and sometimes I just want to scream because I feel like I am the only one who sees it. It hearts my heart to know that Jedi all over this galaxy are oblivious to this rising darkness. And I worry that Jedi heroes like ?Revan? and ?Malak? who seem most at home with war ? like it was where they belonged. Personally, I hate it. If I could just live somewhere, just simply helping those in need and doing so through the Force. At the heart of it all, that is what it means to be a Jedi. Isn't it? Except I can't do that anymore. Not after what I have seen, what I have heard. On an even deeper level I'm not even sure if I can. What happens to a Jedi if the Force brought you back, only to slowly leave you after that? Every day I wake up, I feel even less connected to the Force.

    It has been a slow fade, really. And to be honest ? it scares me. The Force once whispered to me, and I learned to trust it. Once I had fallen over completely to trusting it, I died. The Force basically killed me, brought me back, and now is abandoning me. Almost as if it is having second thoughts about me. The whispers have become echoes, distant and hard to hear. I fear that they will stop all together and then ? who knows? It's so hard to stay focused, to stay the course ? to bath my self in the light. How can I when there is hardly any light any more?
    I am musing again, Jove use to tell me I did that too much.

    I miss -

    *Sounds of a dropping datapad ? a scuffle ? some shouting ? and a gasp from a crowd.*

    ***

    Ta?sa and Gep walked down the vendor street, looking at things that caught their interest. Once stepping off the Divinity] everyone split up, due to Aaryn?s plan on drawing out whoever was looking for them. Serick went one way, Kaylee another and Master Gynt had already walked off once the ship sat down. Ta?sa and Gep looked at each other and thought it wise to stick together, since neither of them had any Force sensitivity. Although on many occasions Aaryn had commented that Ta?sa had enough luck to keep him out of real danger.

    His head appendages wiggled in disgust looking at what some of the vendors were selling to the public as food. Most of it was uncooked and raw Ta?sa was even sure he saw maggots crawling out of some of the meat. He wondered if Geonosians were allowed to eat maggot infested meat. Was it considered cannibalism? Ta?sa wasn?t sure and he certainly didn?t want to
  20. LaForzaViva Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 6, 2008
    star 1
    Aaryn is totally going to fight the Gladiator.

    This is making me want to put on some Hans Zimmer music right about now!
  21. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Aaryn in trouble:eek: Let him get out of trouble soon[face_praying] Like to see some action from him and his friends coming to the rescue.

    Great post=D==D=
  22. JediDingo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2005
    star 3
    Chapter Eight
    Men and Lions Part Two


    The ground reverberated through-out the entire Grand Coliseum, the audible clicks of the local Geonosians, the cheers from the several thousand humanoids that come from all around the galaxy, one could feel it in the pit of their stomach. But they cheered not because they wanted to, but because they had too. All the beings, either foreign or raised here on Geonosis owed their allegiance to the God-king of Geonosis. There weren't as many Geonosisans within the crowd, since they had been forced into slave labor by the God-king. He slowly walked out onto the ledge of his throne room at the Coliseum, observing the crowd. The sun glinted off his well-crafted black armor, intricate designs covered the breast plate. He raised his black grieves, extending his divine hand to them. A crown of golden leaves perched atop his head he flashed a warm smile to all.

    Rose petals fell from atop of the stadium, lightly hitting the ground. It was almost beautiful in a way. The God-king bowed his head and the orator below began to shout loudly.

    ?Beings from across the galaxy-prepare yourself for a thrill of the life time! For you are about to witness amazing warriors slaughter their foes! You are about to witness these heroes of the galaxy fight! They fight for our God-king!? The Chev orator bellowed with a loud voice. ?Let the games begin!?

    The cheers shook the Coliseum even more, and they lusted for blood. The God-king stood there for only a moment to watch the two fighters come out, the opening act some would say. But the people were really here for one reason only ? to see the famed Mandalorian, the Destroyer, the Gladiator. The one who defied the God-king himself. The God-king turned walking back to his canopy throne, sitting down with a large sigh. A beautiful maid servant quickly came up, barely with anything on, and bowed. The God-king waited a couple of moments before acknowledging her.

    ?What?? He didn't even look at her.

    ?Most Holy One, the ones you have requested are here.? She whispered. The God-king clenched his teeth. They were too early.

    ?I have not sent for them yet,? He replied through clenched teeth.

    ?They said they must speak with you now, Holy One.? She almost didn't want to say it because of his wrath. He balled his fist and flicked her away.

    ?Bring them before me,? He said.

    Moments later, the Mandalorians Jagi A'denika and Ding Odin approached the throne with helmets off. You could almost smell the distaste radiating from Jagi. The God-king gave him a forced smile. It had been a long time since the pair had seen each other, and neither had left on the best of terms.

    ?Welcome, Great-warrior Odin and the most distinguished Commander of Rage ? Jagi A'denika. It brings most warm feelings to see the both of you,? The God-king kept still, not standing to great them. His two Geonosian slaves stood guard by his throne, not allowing any one to get to close. Any one else would bow in the presence of a god, but not Jagi.

    ?Dispense with your flowery language, Oped Rex. It does not suit a Mandalorian to talk that way.? Jagi shot out like fire. The God-king, or what his real name was, Oped Rex, frowned at Jagi's directness. He caught Ding's smirk and it made him all the more furious, but he kept it in.

    ?Since we are former acquaintances, I shall let your mouth go unchecked this time. But if you challenge me on my throne again, I will have you killed. Understood??

    Jagi kept his lined, but handsome face as still as stone. Rex composed himself and took a deep breath.

    ?Why have you come here, Jagi?? The God-king asked, spreading his hands.

    ?I am currently tracking down a Jedi, I have reason to believe he is on this planet and possibly now a slave. He has very important information about the current war, information that is crucial the the Mandalorians. I want him,? Jagi said bluntly.

    Rex looked as if he was mulling over his words, the crowds cheering and jeering in the background.

    ?I thought you were of the Mando'ade
  23. LaForzaViva Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 6, 2008
    star 1
    Say whattttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

    But where is Jove?! If he's a slave... she's somewhere!

    Also, I'm definitely getting the impression that you watched "Gladiator" recently with the whole challenging the emper-I mean god king ;)

    Good update!
  24. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Excellent update and keep Aaryn safe. He and his friends are exciting characters I like to see more.
  25. SoA Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2008
    star 3
    Great! I totally didn't see that coming either! I wonder what drew him to Geonosis in the first place.
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