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Before - Legends Eclipsing the Force [OC featuring Mada] Updated 8/21/11

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by RX_Sith, Sep 15, 2010.

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  1. RX_Sith

    RX_Sith C&G Game Host star 5 VIP - Game Host

    Mar 13, 2006
    Title: Eclipsing the Force
    Author: RX_Sith
    Genre: EU, OC
    Disclaimer: I own nothing within Star Wars; I'm just rearranging it a little.
    Note: This is a re-imagining of my original story [link=]Eclipse of the Force[/link] where I am writing something about the origin of the Jedi, as in, going back as far as the first "Force Sensitive" being. How they came to this knowledge, and dealt with their new powers. I posted this first part in the Fan Fiction Resource in the [link=]'Essential Guide to OC's[/link] and am now moving it over here with the next update that will tell about having my OC faced with a task that requires him/her/it to go against his/her/its morals. Do they go with it or no? The rest is up to you.

    [b]Eclipsing the Force[/b]

    [b]The Beginning[/b]

    Mada had a sensitivity to things that others in her race called the Sensi had not. She could predict things before they would happen. Some of her race disliked these predictions because mostly they were of dangerous things that were going to happen to their planet called Eclipse. After eons of bombardment from the asteroids that encircled their hidden world the Sensi had become a nomadic race due to the constant disruptions caused by each successive impact.

    The race had long ago built their society into the fragile crust of their home-world, but each new impact fractured their societal framework to nearly the breaking point. A Sensi's life term was a mere twenty years normally due to the consistency of their world being constantly struck. This required the Sensi to have children at the first available opportunity, usually in their early teens.

    Mada's family was far from normal. Besides still having parents, she also had an older sister as well. Nata was just entering her teenage years while Mada herself was only nine years old. Her father, Hesu was thirty-one while her mother Veron was twenty-eight. To have lived even this long brought contempt from the other Sensi who were mostly much younger then her parents.

    It was because of Mada that her family had even still existed. Due to her predictions, they were able to move to a new location before their previous one would be destroyed by meteoric destruction. This did not bode well with their status amongst the other Sensi that did not have these warnings to guide them. Also, it was because of this that they now moved more due to distrust than disaster.

    "Will we ever have a permanent home?" Mada asked inquisitively to her mother.

    "Child," Veron comforted her, "What do your senses tell you."

    "It's very cold," Mada shivered as she closed her eyes and let go of her feelings.

    "Calm now," Veron stated as the family huddled together, "We have no control over the fate of our lives. We must continue on, no matter how dire our circumstances may become."

    "But, what about my visions?" Mada inquired hesitantly.

    "They will have to protect us in the meantime," Veron remorsefully answered, "Each new place is a new opportunity; a new start."

    "Here's to our next new start," the family huddled in agreement.


    [b]Eclipsing the Force[/b]

    [b]The Dilemma[/b]

    Mada was cold in the damp, dark, secluded cave where she and her family now resided on Eclipse. She shivered her fragile hands in front of her dark face and blew on them to try to warm them up. It was of no use. Her hands still felt the coldness of being so deep within the core of their haphazard world.

    Being a nomadic race was not the most idea existence that the Sensi could have their culture based upon, but due to the extreme violent eruptions that rocked their homeworld they became nomadic to survive; anything else would guarantee their destruction. The landscape was heavily cratered and few ventured out for fear that another asteroid would hit their world causing massive destruction to the environment.

    Few Sensi had ever seen the outside world. It had a long time ago become a reality for anyone to spend more than a few minut>
  2. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    A great insightful piece and likeable characters.

    Great response to the challenge.=D=
  3. SoA

    SoA Jedi Knight star 3

    Apr 2, 2008
    I was intrigued when I read this in the OC thread, and now that you've written more, I even more interested. Eclipse sounds like a pretty nasty place to be. I wonder if her skills will go beyond just predictions.

    Please do put me on your PM list if you have one.
  4. RX_Sith

    RX_Sith C&G Game Host star 5 VIP - Game Host

    Mar 13, 2006
    earlybird-obi-wan: Thank you. The world of Eclipse offers a unique view to Force Sensitive beings.

    SoA: Eclipse is a world where chaos reigns over the Sensi and everything else. I will add you to my PM list.

    [b]Eclipsing the Force[/b]

    [b]Chaos and Serenity[/b]

    The planet was a rage of activity as more asteroids continued to bombard the surface. Each collision caused a fracture within the crystalline structure of the cave shaped pockets where Mada and her family lived.

    "Mother, soon we will have to move again, I'm afraid," Mada pointed out shamefully, "I wish that we could spend more time in a set location, rather than moving constantly."

    "It is as much a part of our lives as we are to our society, "Veron tried to explain, "We have survived as a race due to our nomadic nature."

    They gathered up their belongings and together left the cave that had been their home for the past few months. It was the longest time that had spent in any one place for years and Mada looked back upon the cave one last time. She recalled times of peace and serenity that had actually etched itself into her family's lives. But now, due to the chaotic nature of the planet, they had to once again find a new home.

    After trekking across the innards of the carved out formations that released hot gasses around them, they finally found a new cave that was not occupied. It glowed eerily in the mist that formed around it from the vapors that were being released by the planet's core.

    "Here we will live until we must move again," Veron stated as Mada, Nata, and Hesu looked inside of the new cave with her, "It will be our home, our sanctuary."

    "It looks pretty," Nata remarked as she grabbed a spot within the cave, "I like this part the best."

    Mada merely ignored her sibling and went to a small alcove within the cave.

    "It's not much, but at least it's better than nothing," she murmured as she tried to accept her new living arrangements, "I miss our last home, I really do."

    "There, there," Veron calmed her child, "It is serene and calm compared to the chaos that would have occurred had we stayed any longer."

    "I know, Mother," Mada stated, "It's a part of our lives, the calm and the storm."

  5. SoA

    SoA Jedi Knight star 3

    Apr 2, 2008
    That's so frustrating for all of them. Something just has to change soon.
  6. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    living like that, moving and settling in another place must be taxing

    Nice update
  7. Ree

    Ree Jedi Master star 5

    Jan 25, 2005
    This is a really interesting story- I can't wait to see what happens next :D
  8. RX_Sith

    RX_Sith C&G Game Host star 5 VIP - Game Host

    Mar 13, 2006
    SoA: Unfortunately, due to the planet's environment things will not change for their circumstances unless Mada discovers more of her abilities.

    earlybird-obi-wan: Taxing doesn't even begin to describe their turmoil and chaotic lifestyle.

    Ree: Update happening next...

    [b]Eclipsing the Force[/b]

    [b]Discovering the Force Within[/b]

    A small rodent scurried around in the small alcove that was now Mada's room. She immediately jumped up and with a flick of her wrist the rodent was hurled out into the opening of the main living area. She shrieked as it ran out of their cave.

    "Mother," she screamed, "I think that I did something!"

    "What?" Veron questioned her, "It was just a small little furry creature."

    "No," Mada tried to explain, "I threw it without throwing it."

    "Huh?" Veron didn't understand her daughter's explanation.

    "I somehow threw it by flicking my wrist," Mada explained hopefully better to her mother.

    "That's not possible," Veron directly stated, "No one of our race can do that."

    Mada grew a little upset that her mother was not believing her. She tried to repeat what she did to the rodent on a rug that laid on the stone floor. Nothing happened.

    "I told you child," Veron again pointed out, "You just have visions, nothing more."

    "No!" Mada shouted, "I know what I did!"

    She flicked her wrist at her mother who immediately tumbled to the ground.

    "Mada!" Veron exclaimed, "How could you!"

    "I'm sorry, mother!" she wailed, "I didn't meant to."

    Suddenly, Hesu her father got up from a makeshift table.

    "Mada, go to your room! Now!" he shouted while he helped Veron to her feet.

    "Why?" Mada inquired, "I said that I was sorry!"

    "Go to your room now!" Hesu repeated even louder.

    Mada turned and left towards her small alcove.

    "I can't believe what happened," Veron stated to Hesu, "It's something that I felt I had no control over."

    "I must go to the Elders to discuss this with them," Hesu responded, "We need to know why Mada has this power and what can be done to either control it or get rid of it altogether."

    "Be mindful of our daughter's feelings," Veron tried to reason with him, "She's still just a child."

    "We'll see what their response is to this," Hesu replied, "I just hope that it's just something that is a fluke."

    "I'm pretty sure that it wasn't," Veron remarked, "Her anger though seemed to make it happen."

    "Then, that's why we need to stop it," Hesu reaffirmed, "She could become out of control and then we would be unable to stop her."

    "But, she's just a child," Veron again repeated, "There must be another way."

    "We'll see," Hesu gestured as he left to see the Elders, "For her sake, I hope that they have an answer."

    Mada cuddled up in the small alcove as tears streaked down her face. She didn't mean to hurt her mother. She was scared about what just happened. She didn't know why she had this strange ability. It was something that just happened after being frightened first by the rodent and then angered by her mother. These were feelings that Mada felt very bad about. She didn't want to do any harm to anyone.

    [i]What was she going to do, she wondered. I know, she thought, I'll just run away. I'll ran as far away from my family as I can. Then, that way I won't have to worry about hurting or harming them ever again.[/i]

  9. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    poor Mada. She needs one to help her with her gift

    moving update=D=
  10. SoA

    SoA Jedi Knight star 3

    Apr 2, 2008
    Wow! That wasn't the reaction I expected from Mada's parents, to see it as a danger rather than a tool, especially since they already know she's got a skill with predictions.

    I hope she doesn't go and do anything stupid now.
  11. RX_Sith

    RX_Sith C&G Game Host star 5 VIP - Game Host

    Mar 13, 2006
    earlybird-obi-wan: Yes, Mada does indeed need some help and she will be getting it soon. ;)

    SoA: Yes, sometimes parents over react to things and that is what happened here. [face_worried]

    A/N: Sorry for the delay on this. Hopefully, I'll be able to update this more often.

    [b]Eclipsing the Force[/b]

    [b]Troubles from the Force[/b]

    Mada saw Hesu as he had some of the Elders with him. They entered their tiny abode and started to discuss things with her parents. As they talked for awhile, Mada tried to listen to the conversation as best as she could. She could make out some of the words; others just pieces of fragmented dialogue.

    "... what's in her best interest." She heard them saying. "... no other choice." Another fragment of the discussion. "... now ... understand ..." Other bits and pieces.

    Finally, the discussion had ended. One of the Elders approached Mada and took her hand. "Care to join us?" She asked.

    "I guess," Mada inquisitively responded not really having any other choice.

    The Elder reached down and grabbed Mada placing her in her arms as she left the home. "It's alright," the Elder stated calmly, "It's for the best."

    Mada waved goodbye to her family as she was taken away. Tears streamed down her face as she did not fully understand what was happening. "I don't want to go," she begged the Elder.

    "Sorry, but there's no other choice," the Elder told her, "We must protect you from yourself, understand?"

    "No," Mada gulped as she tried to wriggle free from the Elder's grasp, "I said no."

    Suddenly, the Elder placed a cloth over her face that covered her face completely. "I didn't want to resort to this, but you've left me with no other choice."

    Mada suddenly felt tired, and then she passed out from the sleeping agent that was laced on the cloth.


    Her eyes tinged with brightness when Mada opened her eyes. She was in a plain room, with a small door at the forefront of the small cell she had been placed into. There was nothing to use to break down the door which had no handle; it also had a force field that repulsed Mada when she tried to push on it. Mada went to the far corner and just sat on the floor, which was the only smooth area within the cell.

    The rest of the cell rough on the floor with rocky debris that was indigenous to the outside world. It was jagged and pointy in certain spots, and Mada disliked everything about her quarters. She did not know how long that she would be staying. All she knew was that the minute the door was opened, then she would try to escape her captives.

    [hr] >
  12. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    Poor Mada being away from her family.

    Will she be treated nice?
  13. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 7

    Aug 31, 2004
    Hi, I found this and was instantly intrigued. :cool: Mada having a gift that she nor her family understands [face_thinking] so naturally that leads to fear :( and now she's been separated from them [face_worried] when she really needs training and guidance.

    I can just imagine that Jedi who managed to escape the Purges or Force sensitives in the back of beyond even in the eras represented by the PT and OT and beyond had a hard time until they were taken to a place they could develop their skills. It would definitely be harmful to the person and those around them to have such skills unleashed and ungoverned. :eek:


    I'd very much like PMs when you update. [face_batting]

  14. RX_Sith

    RX_Sith C&G Game Host star 5 VIP - Game Host

    Mar 13, 2006
    earlybird-obi-wan: Being taken away and not treated nice is unfortunately what her fate will be. [face_worried]

    Jade_eyes: Being unappreciated for her uniqueness has led her family to turn her over to The Elders. Her abilities are her only hope of getting out of her situation. :(

    [b]Eclipsing the Force[/b]

    [b]Starvation of the Force[/b]

    The days and nights went by slowly now for Mada as her imprisonment was going by as if by the blink of an eye. One day after another, she grew weaker as The Elders hardly gave her anything to eat. They knew that by limiting her food, they could at least control her abilities until they had a firmer grasp on what to do about her.

    Mada etched a picture of her family into the wall. She knew that they had no choice but to turn her over to The Elders due to her conduct. If only she hadn't been so frightened by little rodents, then none of this would have happened. She looked at the etching and calmness soothed through her. She felt relaxed as she drifted off to another night's sleep.

    The next day she felt even more terrible than the previous one; she could feel her depression growing more as there was nothing that she could do. With the limited supply of food that The Elders provided, she was now beginning to wonder if they were purposely starving her to death.

    [i]That must be what they are doing,"[/i] Mada thought to herself, [i]"Unless I can find a way to escape, I will surely die from starvation."[/i]

    She tried to call upon her powers to open her cell door, but it would not budge. There were no windows inside of her dark cell. The minimal amount of light that came through the bottom crack of the door was the only thing that provided a smattering of light within her cell.

    She got up and examined the light and extended her hand towards it. She looked upon her hand as it was more frail then ever due to her starvation. Her finger nails peeled directly off as they grew more unpliable. She tried to slide her slender fingers under the door, but they still would not fit.

    The effort caused her to cough as she spat up some blood. She realized that not only was she growing weaker, but she was getting sicker as each day passed. She wondered what The Elders would tell her parents if she died. She felt that she did not have that much time left. She went to the etching she had made on the wall and wrote one more passage to try to uplift her spirits.

    [i]Mada was here,"[/i] it started punctually, [i]"And now she is gone forever."[/i]

    A single broken heart she also etched besides her passage as she collapsed by her inscription.

  15. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 7

    Aug 31, 2004
    :eek: !! Talk about a drastic solution!!

    [face_worried] !!

    It doesn't help Mada or any other Force user. [face_thinking]
  16. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    those elders:mad:

    Mada escape[face_praying]
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