Beyond EDITED WRITING CHALLENGE, Round 3

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Carlos Danger, Feb 18, 2014.

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  1. Carlos Danger Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2013
    star 1
    This is for the "Edited" writing challenge. I need to write a 100 word drabble with the following things in the story:

    Round 1 requirements:
    An angry female
    A weapon
    Flowers

    I have never wrote a drabble before and writing one with a length of no more than 100 words was really difficult. It doesn't give you much to work with.

    ________________________________________________


    ‘Why did he give me his lightsaber? There has to be a hidden meaning to the gift’. Mara was shocked by how much she wanted there to be a greater significance to the saber. “Damn him!” she yelled angrily. “Why can’t he express his romantic interest normally, instead of giving me a weapon once brandished by his murdering Sith father?”

    The entry buzzer interrupted her rant. She opened the door to find a bashful Luke Skywalker clutching a bouquet of flowers. “I wanted to ask you last night...would you go out with me?”

    ‘This was more like it!

    “Yes.”
    Last edited by Carlos Danger, Feb 23, 2014
  2. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

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    star 7
  3. earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
  4. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    Awwwwww.....[face_love][face_love][face_love]

    if you go forward, the word count does not have to be exact. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
    Last edited by KELIA, Feb 18, 2014
  5. Padawan Fangirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 28, 2013
    star 3
    Aww, so sweet! :)

    Sent from my stupid little astro droid using TapaTalk 2.
  6. Carlos Danger Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2013
    star 1
    I knew it didn't have to be exactly 100 words (For some reason my drabble ended up at 100 words exactly by coincidence), I just thought it had to be less than 100 words. When I wrote the story it was about 200 words and then I cut it down to the bare bones.

    Thanks everybody for reading and commenting.
    Last edited by Carlos Danger, Feb 18, 2014
  7. Carlos Danger Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2013
    star 1
    Challenge #2 I need to write a 250 word (more or less) story using these writing prompts:

    1. A sandwich
    2. A ship
    3. A cool breeze
    4. A ring

    ___________________________________________________________

    Mara Jade finished the last of her sandwich as she left the Temple kitchen. A cool breeze tugged at her cloak as she moved up the Temple pyramid to an area where she often found privacy…but not tonight. “Skywalker? What are you doing up here?”

    The Jedi Master turned to Mara from where he sat. “I was just stargazing.” He smiled as he patted the ledge next to him. “Join me.”

    She sat down and looked up to the sky. “See anything interesting?”

    He grinned as he pointed his hand up to a bright light slowly crossing the sky. “That looks like a cargo ship.” He gestured to another part of the sky. “Over there is Yavin VIII; you can tell because it has a ring around it.” He leaned back and smiled. “When I was young I would stargaze and dream of space travel.” He turned to her. “What did you dream about as a child?”

    “I never had any dreams.” Her voice turned gloomy. “I was the Emperor’s Hand. I thought I would live and die doing his will.” She sat silently for a moment. “What do you dream about now?”

    He sighed deeply as he gave her a surreptitious glance. “I dream about having a family.”

    “Oh.” She was becoming uncomfortable with this conversation. She went to rise but Luke reached out and touched her arm. “Mara, Palpatine is gone. Allow yourself to dream.”

    She shivered at his touch. “Okay,” she managed to utter before she stood and quickly departed.

    Why did she believe any dreams tonight would include a certain blue-eyed Jedi? And why did she wish dreams could come true?
    Last edited by Carlos Danger, Feb 20, 2014
  8. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

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    :) wriggles! Sweet dreams Mara LOL [face_love] [face_mischief] This had a wistful feel, Carlos. Loved it. =D=
  9. earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Great response and a lovely scene between Luke and mara
  10. ginchy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 25, 2005
    star 4
    Oh, very nice. I agree with Nyota that there is a very wistful feel to this piece. I like how you got all the prompt words in!!
  11. mavjade It's so FLUFFY Fanfic & New Movies Manager

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    Sep 10, 2005
    star 6
    Good responses to the challenges! 100 words is hard to write an entire story, but that's part of the fun! :)

    I really loved this line in the second one:
    “Mara, Palpatine is gone. Allow yourself to dream.”

    =D=
    Nyota's Heart likes this.
  12. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    Awwwww....I just love the softer side of Mara Jade [face_love][face_love][face_love]
    Nyota's Heart likes this.
  13. Carlos Danger Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2013
    star 1
    Round 3 Requirements:

    Snow
    A seashell
    A laughing child
    A cracked bowl
    A lost shoe

    ______________________

    Mara gazed at her precious keepsakes from Ben’s childhood neatly arranged on her fireplace mantel. Her green eyes welled up with tears as she picked up each reminder of her beautiful baby boy. There was the seashell a toddler Ben picked up on his first trip to a beach. Mara remembered him running up to her and Luke, laughing, his blue eyes flashing with excitement. “Shell!” He squealed happily before handing the colorful univalve to his father who dutifully saved it as a remembrance of the day.

    Next to the seashell sat a small clay bowl Ben had made for her when he was five. He had just returned from school and was beaming when he went to pull it out of his satchel. His happiness turned to sorrow when he realized it broke in his backpack. Ben sobbed over his fragmented gift before Luke quickly scooped up the boy and the broken ceramic, soothing him with a promise that it could be fixed. About thirty minutes later a young Ben came running out of his father’s den holding up a newly glued bowl. Mara smiled as she ran a finger over the cracked bowl recalling how proud she was not only of her son, but also his wonderful father.

    Her hand drifted over to a holocube where she kept her favorite images of her family. She activated the device and observed a holo of Ben, Luke and her at a ski resort. It was the first time Ben had seen snow and like any young boy he was eager to make a snowman before beginning a huge snowball fight. “Boys against the girls!” Ben had yelled before throwing a highly packed snowball at his mother. “No fair!” Mara yelled back. “It’s two against one!” Luke threw a couple off-target snowballs at her before announcing, “Parents against son!” Ben screamed a protest as he ran off into the deep snow before tumbling face first into a snowdrift. She remembered they eventually retired to the ski lodge to warm up and drink hot chocolate.

    The final item on the mantel was one of Ben’s first baby shoes. She held it up amazed at how small his little feet once were. The shoe was lost when Ben was only a few months old. Luke and Mara had recently found the wayward shoe while emptying out Ben’s former bedroom. Former bedroom…she put a hand over her mouth to stifle a sob…her baby was gone.

    She startled when Luke came up behind her placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Mara, are you crying?”

    She quickly wiped the tears away and shook her head. “No.”

    “Mara.” Luke’s tone of voice told her he knew she was lying.

    “My little boy is gone.” She turned and laid her head on Luke’s strong shoulder. He squeezed her tightly giving her a reassuring hug.

    “I know how you feel.” He pulled away and gave her a wistful smile. “But look at it this way, you’re not losing a son, but gaining a daughter. He’s getting married, not being put into carbonite. We’ll see him…and who knows…maybe in the near future it will be a grandson or daughter that we’ll bring to the beach or the ski slopes.”

    A smile spread across her face as she returned the shoe to the mantle. “A grandchild…I would love that.”

    Luke leaned in and kissed her softly. “So would I.”
    Last edited by Carlos Danger, Feb 23, 2014
  14. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

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    Thank you for this sweet couple/family moment. This is part of my personal L/M canon as a real and genuine moment. =D= L/M are in character and so loving. :D @};-
    Carlos Danger likes this.
  15. earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Love to see Luke and Mara together and seeing their son getting married. Perfect response to the challenge
    Carlos Danger and Nyota's Heart like this.
  16. ginchy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 25, 2005
    star 4
    Awwwww [face_love] [face_love] I love it. I'll admit to being a taaaaad worried there when Mara thought that her baby was gone, but she was right. He's gone, replaced with the man her son has become. I love it.
    Carlos Danger and Nyota's Heart like this.
  17. Carlos Danger Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2013
    star 1
    Mara is not dead in my canon. If we get to EP7 and I see Luke with a very live Mara Jade…then I won't care if they have to retcon the entire EU. But I am not going to wager that happening. With my luck Palpatine will be cloned, Vader will be cloned and there will be a bi-sentient Gungan/Ewok love story thrown in just to piss me off.

    Thank you. Mara should have lived to see her son grow to a man. At least she lived long enough to see he was going to turn out alright. :(

    You shouldn't have worried. If you read my other Skywalker stories you would realize Carlos Danger enjoys happy endings. ;) I also love sending improper tweets, but we won't get into that. :p
  18. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    Awwwwww.....[face_love][face_love][face_love]

    That was so wonderfully sweet.
    Carlos Danger and Nyota's Heart like this.
  19. Carlos Danger Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2013
    star 1
    Thank you! I appreciate the kind words. Are we going to have another similar challenge? I love reading the stories.
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