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Elementary, My Dear Obi-Wan (the revised version)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Frostfyre, Dec 19, 2002.

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  1. Lilith Demodae

    Lilith Demodae Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Oct 1, 1999
    Still waiting for a psot here.... pretty please?
  2. Frostfyre

    Frostfyre Jedi Youngling star 3

    Oct 25, 1999
    This is a little sad, to come to the end of something that has been going on for so long...but all good things must come to an end, right? So here you are, the final post of "Elementary, my Dear Obi-Wan"


    The silence was almost deafening. Derry?s Force-storm died as suddenly as its master, leaving us all blinking in startlingly bright sunshine. The nightmare creatures dissipated into nothing. The battle was over.

    The Jedi stood as though frozen. I couldn?t blame them; I felt much the same. Holmes was rigidly silent, turning away from me, from the others, to stalk off a few paces, putting distance between himself and Derry?s body.

    Grey Wolf was the first to move, dropping from his crouch onto the ground and pulling Shannan?s still form to him. My heart leapt into my throat at the sight of her still, white face and the blood darkening the leather of her clothes. Collecting my scattered wits, I forced my feet to move, hurrying to her side.

    Ugly gashes marred her shoulder and left side, but her pulse was strong. Some stitches, some rest, and she would be fine. I moved on to Ben, still lying against the rocky hill face, his master bent over him. He was in better shape than Shannan, but there was a goose-egg lump on the back of his skull. I patted Qui-Gon?s shoulder reassuringly and looked around for more wounded.

    MacEiver leaned heavily against Mrs. Hudson, massaging his throat. He waved away my inquiries, indicating that it hurt too much to speak. Bereft of patients to treat (not that I had any supplies on hand anyway), I turned my attention to the dead.

    Maeve stood over Derry?s body, head bowed, the lines of her face rigid. I drifted to her side, uncertain as to what I ought to do. Instead I stood silently, wishing there was something to say that wouldn?t sound trite or, God forbid, callous.

    ?He used to be a good man,? she said at last, her voice so low I had to strain to hear it. ?So merry, always ready with a could he become this??

    ?Only the most foolish of us pretend to understand the human mind,? I replied quietly. ?None of us can really know the path another treads...Are you glad he is dead??

    ?I am glad the murderer has been stopped,? she said. ?I believe that death was the only way justice could be served...but I grieve for the man he once was. He?he was a friend, once. He and Ilein...? Maeve?s voice trailed off. She turned her face away to hide the tears filling her eyes.

    I heard footsteps crunching on rock, and looked up to see Holmes returning. He was still very pale, but his jaw was set in a determined line.

    Mrs. Hudson helped MacEiver to a convenient rock and turned to my associate. ?You interefered, Mr. Holmes.?

    His nostrils flared, but his voice was even.?I don?t recall any requests not to.?

    ?You know we did not wish to kill him.?

    ?Frankly, Mrs. Hudson, I don?t see where he left you any choice. You seemed unwilling to do the deed, however, so I took matters into my own hands.?

    ?You?re very good at that.?

    ?That, Mrs. Hudson, is my job.? His lips curled into a thin smile. ?If you have any complaints, I shall be happy to receive them at my office. And I?m sure we can settle the matter of the bill another time.?

    Her eyes narrowed. ?This is hardly a jesting matter, Holmes.?

    ?Who?s jesting? Incidentally, I charge extra for killing?particularly when those whose duty it is refuse to do so.?

    ?How dare you!?

    ?I dare a lot, Mrs. Hudson, particularly when the fate of my world is at stake.? He drew himself up, his silvery eyes flashing. ?I will not stand idle in the face of destruction while you people dither over your dubious morality.?

    ?So you justify killing?? MacEiver demanded hoarsely.

    ?If the murder of one man will save the lives of millions, then yes, I will. I will take that stain to save them. Can you not do the same? Or does your precious Code forbid the protection of innocent life?? Holmes swept an arm out, encompassing the lands around us. ?How many would have died for your he
  3. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Dec 31, 2001
    An interesting ending. I was amazed by the dream reference. Thanks for the fun ride :)
  4. Frostfyre

    Frostfyre Jedi Youngling star 3

    Oct 25, 1999
    Heh, Lilith asked me awhile back if I was going to resolve the whole thing with Watson's dreams. I'd completely forgotten about them. :D

    In the name of nostalgia, I plan to post a 'deleted scene', from the original version of this story. It went by the wayside in the rewrite, but we all loved it so much for its...aesthetic value. ;) Stay tuned!
  5. Lilith Demodae

    Lilith Demodae Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Oct 1, 1999
    You really do need to tell me when you're gonna post so I can come read it... and proofread it...

    Sleep took me at last, and [hl=yellow]once more[/hl] I found myself standing [hl=yellow]once more[/hl] upon a field.

    One of those needs to go. :)

    Lovely. Normally I would have felt that it was abrupt, but it's perfectly in keeping with the original, since the stories usually ended close after the climax, and it was all wrapped up neatly here. Bravo! I just love this story, in all its incarnations. :D
  6. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Jul 7, 2000
    After reading that first line about the end I had this uncontrolled desire to back away and not read it... if I didn't read it it wouldn't really be over. *sigh*

    Wow,... I didn't expect that dialog between Holmes and Mrs. very real!!

    ?Oh, enough!? I snapped. They turned to stare at me. ?You cannot claim that you intended to spare him, at the end. But you delayed, and courted defeat. You left Holmes with no other choice. You ought to be thanking him for saving your sorry hides, instead of berating him in the name of a Code that is not his!? -- That was stellar!

    Holmes and Mrs. Hudson spent a week edging around each other uncomfortably before reaching a silent, mutual agreement to pretend that nothing was out of the ordinary. Ha!! That I find hilarious.

    *sigh* I can't believe it's really over... it was a most delightful time spent with you Frostfyre and I'm going miss it a great deal.. thank you for sharing it with us.

  7. Frostfyre

    Frostfyre Jedi Youngling star 3

    Oct 25, 1999
    And now, for your mental imagery enjoyment, a "deleted" scene from the original version of "Elementary."


    He limped over to the edge of the channel and stripped off the tattered shirt. Whistles and catcalls erupted from Shannan and Maeve?s side of the room. Ben turned to glare at them; they were both grinning hugely. ?Do you mind?? he demanded.

    ?Oh, not at all,? Shannan purred.

    ?Please, do go on,? Maeve added.

    He blushed slightly, hastily removed his trousers, and, wearing only a pair of shorts, slipped into the water. It was about three and a half feet deep, reaching the young man?s waist. He winced. ?It?s cold!?

    ?It?s always cold,? Edar said. ?Especially this time of year. Try not to swallow any of the water. The Thames isn?t as bad as the Seine in France?you can?t quite bounce things off the Thames? surface yet?but it?s about as sanitary as a latrine.?

    Ben swallowed. ?Thank you so much for that vivid description. Well, it can?t be anything worse than the drinks they serve in some of the dives on Coruscant.? He waded toward the faint light streaming in where the water entered the room. It was, of course, covered by a grate. ?Well, here goes,? he muttered, taking hold of the slimy iron in both hands, and began to pull. The grate was clearly old, but it had been solidly cemented into the wall?I wasn?t sure how Ben intended to pull it out. The muscles in his arms and chest bunched and rippled as he struggled with it.

    ?Oh, that?s very nice,? Maeve sighed happily.

    ?Mmmm,? Shannan agreed. ?Twenty credits says his master looks as good.?

    Edar shook his head. ?You two are horrible.? He was smiling, though, apparently unfazed by the two women?s brazen behavior. I wished I could say the same.

    ?Don?t want to hear it,? Maeve said. ?You guys are just as bad. And I don?t see you complaining when we sit around and admire *you* during sparring practice.?

    ?I?m going to slap you with a sexual harassment suit when we get out of here,? Ben complained. He gritted his teeth and gave one last tug on the grate, and to my eternal surprise, it broke free with a screech. The young man stumbled back, barely avoiding losing his balance and plunging into the murky water.

    ?How on earth??? I stared at the crumbled cement clinging to the edges of the warped grate.

    ?I used the Force to strengthen my muscles,? Ben explained, dropping the grate into the water behind him and examining the red indentations on his palms and fingers. ?Ow.?

    The women broke into approving?but quiet?applause. ?Well done,? Shannan said. ?Well done. What?s your encore??
    Ben bowed good-naturedly. ?For my next performance, I?ll see if I can?t get out.? He bent down to peer through the opening, a frown appearing on his face. He reached an arm into the gap. There was a sharp buzz, and he jerked his hand back, swearing. ?Dammit!?

    ?What?? I demanded.

    ?There?s an electropulse field blocking it. We can?t get out that way.?

    There was a murmur of disappointment. ?Look on the bright side,? Maeve offered. ?I don?t know about you guys, but I wasn?t really looking forward to a swim in the Thames in October.?

    Ben climbed out of the water, shivering. Shannan tossed him a rag from the pile she and Maeve were sitting on, and he used it to towel off before climbing back into his clothing. ?Now what?? he asked.

    ?Now we implement plan B,? Shannan said.

    ?And what would that be, exactly??

    ?I?ll let you know just as soon as we come up with it,? she replied. Ben threw the dripping rag at her.

    Holmes lifted his head then, and Edar dropped his hands from my friend?s temples. ?What happened?? he asked groggily. The Jedi Healer quietly filled him in, and as he spoke I saw the color returning to my associate?s face and the keen sharpness come back into his grey eyes.

    ?So are we going to try and escape,? he said when Edar finished, ?or do we wait for rescue??

    Edar glanced at Ben.

    The young man shrugged, rubbing a hand across his short hair, sending water drople
  8. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Dec 31, 2001
    *Sits back and sighs*

    Ah yes, I remember it well :D
  9. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Jul 7, 2000
    Same here Kitara... I know lots of girls on the Resource board that would love to read that little bit... heh, heh... I know I enjoyed it!
  10. Lilith Demodae

    Lilith Demodae Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Oct 1, 1999
    That was one of my favorite scenes, right enough. :) But that's okay. I really like the new version, too.
  11. Mar17swgirl

    Mar17swgirl Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Dec 26, 2000
    An entirely random "UP" so more people can read this awesome story... :D
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