Saga Eluding What Will Come (AU fic updated July 28, 2006)

[image=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v241/uscathena/eludingcover.gif]
Cover by obaona.


Nominated for Readers' Choice Romance, Male Original Character (Daven), Female Original Character (Nyssa), Female Non-Jedi (Nyssa), and Author in the 2004 Winter Fan Fiction Awards

Title: Eluding What Will Come
Author: Pallas-Athena
Timeframe: post-RotS, purge Era
Characters: OCs, Darth Vader
Genre: romance, short story
Keywords: OCs
Summary: A bounty hunter falls in love with her Jedi prey on the eve of his confrontation with Vader.
Notes: Written in very late response to the Purge Challenge.

Here I am with a little ficlet I wasn't going to write on anything besides my current fic, but Amidala_Skywalker struck a deal with me that we both would write on the purge challenge. Well, two months later and she hasn't a page and I've got more than fifty!

And thanks to both Amsie and Fate for their words of encouragement and betaing

So, I hope you all like ...

***

"You cannot run forever, Jedi!" The voice would have been lost to the winds had its owner not been yelling. "Stop!"

The man had clearly heard the order, but he decided to leap up to the meter-high durasteel guidance rail before facing his purser. The fierce night air blew a chill into his robes and through his tunics, but he did not shiver - he had long since trained his body not to react to such things. He pulled his outer robes aside and reached for the lightsaber hanging on his left hip. He did not ignite it, however. In fact, he didn't even bother to lift it off his belt.


He crouched on the narrow railing, grabbing onto the bar with his free hand for support. His stare and pose resembled a Binarian sabercat ready for the kill more than a human facing an attacker. He stilled and waited for the bounty hunter to strike.

The hunter stood a few meters away with her blaster raised and pointed at his chest. She steadied her hand for the shot against the gusts of air, but did not fire.

"Aren't you going to shoot me, Nyssa?" he asked in a low, growling tone. He was baiting her to assault first and she knew it.

It was a familiar routine: the end of the chase, which would lead to a showdown between the two. Nyssa would fire; Daven would block the bolts with his lightsaber. Sometimes he would even reflect them back to their originator, causing Nyssa to duck for cover from her own firepower. She had worn a person energy shield after their first few encounters, but, even if the blasts couldn't rend her flesh, they caused a dense plume of smoke after making contact with the shield. Nyssa would soon lose sight of her prey and Daven would disappear.

But she had never had him cornered quite so well before. His only two options were his surrender and execution or the two hundred-meter drop and the instant death that waited at its bottom.

He could resist his fate and fight her like he always did, but Nyssa had the feeling that even a Jedi couldn't keep his balance on that five centimeter-thick bar upon which he was currently perched.

"Give it up, Daven. There is no way out this time," she told him. She was yet unaware that her dark blonde hair had fallen out of its topknot and was currently waving around her face in a harsh dance with the wind. "I can make your death quick and relatively painless. Vader won't be so kind."

Nyssa did not bother to elaborate on her reference to the famed Sith. The cloaked and masked man had appeared at Palpatine's side the day the former Chancellor had announced himself as the Emperor of the New Order. Palpatine had called this black creature - who resembled a twisted and evil droid more than a man - his apprentice and servant. He then proceeded to place a bounty on every head in the Jedi Order, even the children and non-Jedi that were believed to have Force potential. Dead or alive, Palpatine offered the same reward - two hundr

 

Say goodbye to your comfy retirement. The words echoed in the back of her mind. Well, fine, the thought was there ? in there, somewhere ? definitely, but it wasn't predominant. Actually, she doubted it would ever surface.

Say goodbye to Daven.

**Tear**

ARGH! I wish I had time to read all of this post, but I am forced to skim it. I am so sorry. But, I will tell you that from what I have read, it is amazing. You are doing a great job. I will not lie and say that I am the best about coming back and leaving feedback, but I do read them!!! But, if you PM I wil make sure that I leave feedback. I hope that doesn't put you out too much. Again, GREAT JOB!!!

 

Very good job, Pallas-Athena! Your OCs are great! Only one post and I already love them.

Daven is really good. I enjoyed his banter with Nyssa, and his personality is interesting, especially consider the fact that he's a Jedi.

I also liked Nyssa's character. It was fun watching her feelings for Daven conflict with her need to do her job.

True, she was not his target, but, if she got in his way, she could very well be killed. She had heard that he even murdered his subordinates when he was merely displeased. She could only imagine how he would treat a failed bounty hunter.

This was a very good addition to the story because it gives them a common enemy.

I'm looking forward to reading more!

 

VadersMistress: I wish I had time to read all of this post, but I am forced to skim it. I am so sorry.

Oh, that's okay! Thanks for replying all the same. It means a lot because OC stories are so unpopular

But, I will tell you that from what I have read, it is amazing. You are doing a great job.

Thanks!

But, if you PM I wil make sure that I leave feedback.

PM, okay got it

I hope that doesn't put you out too much.

Much, much better than getting no feedback at all That's really scary


Lonewolf89: Very good job, Pallas-Athena! Your OCs are great! Only one post and I already love them.

Great, yay! These are my first non-villian, main character OCs, so of course I'm worried about them being Stu/Sue-ish, but I like them. I think they're fun, without being perfect people.

Daven is really good. I enjoyed his banter with Nyssa, and his personality is interesting, especially consider the fact that he's a Jedi.

Stoic, calm Jedi are boring Just because you don't join the dark side doesn't mean you can't have a personality. In fact, I think it's the only thing that kept him sane.

I also liked Nyssa's character. It was fun watching her feelings for Daven conflict with her need to do her job.

Yeah, feelings are as a bad for a bounty hunter as they are for a Jedi, methinks

This was a very good addition to the story because it gives them a common enemy.

Vader is uber scary

I'm looking forward to reading more!

Yay!

 

*dashes in breathlessly* I'm here! I read it!

This is an amazing beginning to what I know will be an amazing story. And I really don't know why it's on page five. Probably the OC 'thing' or something to that effect.

Anyway, I love it, and I want you to post more. This was my favorite part:

She gritted her teeth at the comment. He had called her a ?barbarian lush? on more than occasion and each time she returned it with ?sexless drone.?

I like her. *smirks* And I'm adding this to my index.

I hope you post more soon, Atty.



For freedom. For justice. Viva la Rebellion.

 

I really like this. You have two very engaging characters here, and I can't wait to see what happens. And then Vader, the purges . . . Your Jedi is very Jedi, you know. I can see a Jedi being that way - they're not mindless robots of serenity, and you show that. And I like the bounty hunter. I like the whole thing. I just like it.

Good job!

 

Fate: *dashes in breathlessly* I'm here! I read it!

YAY! I knew you would!

This is an amazing beginning to what I know will be an amazing story.

Thanks! I hope it will be

Probably the OC 'thing' or something to that effect.

Yeah, it's the OC effect! People just don't like them. My poor babies *pouts*


Anyway, I love it, and I want you to post more.

Yay! I will

And I'm adding this to my index.

Okay Nyssa is definately part of the underworld. I think Daven would deny his ablity to hang around such an element, though ... at least right now


oba: I really like this. You have two very engaging characters here, and I can't wait to see what happens.

Thanks! *does happy dance*

Your Jedi is very Jedi, you know. I can see a Jedi being that way - they're not mindless robots of serenity, and you show that.

Thanks. Yeah, what's the fun in serenity? I think if you wandered about the galaxy not feeling anything for anybody you'd be pretty insane by the time you reached Daven's age. It's human nature

And I like the bounty hunter. I like the whole thing. I just like it.

Thanks, oba *dons happy hat*


***

The night breeze greeted Daven as he walked through the back ways of Coronet?s Blue Sector. The winds were much calmer and more pleasant than they had been atop the skyscraper; they were not quite warm, but a small comfort to a doomed man all the same.

Vader?s presence loomed ever closer, but Daven wasn?t heading directly towards the Sith Lord. Instead, he walked through a narrow alley and remembered the last time he had set foot on this planet. He was a fifteen year-old Padawan, proud to be at his Master?s side as the elder Jedi shared with his pupil the wisdom he had gathered regarding the world of Corellia. His Master probably hadn?t realized then that the advice he had given Daven would come to save the boy?s life a decade later.

Master Jedi Farani had not lived to see the galaxy?s plunge into darkness ? he had died only a year after Daven had completed his trials. The young Knight was partly grateful for this ? the noble Jedi would never be forced to watch the extinction of his people or be hunted to the death ? but Daven missed his guidance terribly. It was in times like these, as he strolled alone along familiar paths that reminded him of happier days, that he ached for his mentor the most. The Jedi were dying, more and more frequently each day, and Daven could often feel their souls become one with the Force in peaceful, eternal rest.

Leaving him alone; one of the last of a fading race. His moments spent with Nyssa had lessened the pain, to his surprise, and she had somehow managed to become a welcome detraction. She was still a challenge, even if their skills were not on par, but he should have known that their galactic gallivanting wasn?t going to last forever.

He had assumed that she would get the best of him eventually; after all, he was out gunned, out equipped, and out shipped easily by the bounty hunter. Daven just didn?t want to quit so soon. He had seen so little of the galaxy, so little of life.

And now Vader was going to kill him. He could only hope that it would be a quick death, because he knew that there was no way he could best the Sith Lord as far greater Masters had fallen under his blade. Perhaps he could fight honorably and die with dignity.

A small chirp from the ground in front of him caused Daven to pause both mentally and physically. He squatted down to behold a baby kathmouse lying in his path, curled into a tiny, furry ball. It couldn?t have weighed much more than a dozen grams. Daven guessed that it was probably about five centimeters long. Its grey fur shook in fear at the human?s massive foot.

?I?m not going to hurt you, little guy,? Daven whispered, putting the Force behind his word

 

Oooh. * story*

I liked the part with Vader - I mean, we all know he was this powerful monstrosity, and he killed a lot of Jedi, but you actually went into his fighting style, which I thought highly interesting. I hadn't thought of it like that, that kind of detail, or that thoroughly at all, and it was - interesting. And how he hunted the Jedi down, too, within the Force. Just ... hmm.

Daven's jokes, LMAO! I especially liked the anecdote about Vader and the swamps of Naboo. That was great. I was sitting here laughing, thinking how can I laugh when Daven's so near death? But you pulled it off. Brilliant. And then his realization of who Vader really is - I hadn't thought of it before, but do you think Vader wouldn't have wanted the Jedi as a group to know Vader is him? Or that he was Anakin Skywalker, anyway *runs from mad Vader*.

Nyssa is great. You really show the individuality of both characters - they're not just a bunch of traits, either, but very real people in my mind. I've read few pro novels (SW or otherwise) that truly manage that in so little as you have here. Amazing. Can I steal your writing ability? But as I was saying (babbling), I really enjoyed Nyssa ranting at Daven as she tends to his wounds while he's semi-conscious. What a weird position for her to be in. Yes, she's in love with him, but it's not - gushy, certainly, or even insanely so, she just is.

I love it. Great job!

 

Eheeheeheeeeeeeeee...

Okay, I really like Daven and Nyssa. The whole thing about the Corellian national anthem was priceless, the medbay monologue better.

More, please!

 

*fawns, fawns, fawns*

*shrieks* I love this story! I love this story! Daven and Nyssa are so real. You know how quickly I got my hands on everything little piece of story you produced .

Readers, there is SO much more to come! Jayen should be beyond proud of this story and of her writing ability (I keep telling her!)

Now, let?s see if I can beta the next post ASAP .

Ams

 

P-A: Wow!!

Now that was good 'fic...

**is impressed**

Thanks to Ams for sending me this way...



- The Imperial Ewok

 

People are ... people have ... read and replied to my little story! I'm so happy! I love you all!

oba: I liked the part with Vader - I mean, we all know he was this powerful monstrosity, and he killed a lot of Jedi, but you actually went into his fighting style, which I thought highly interesting. I hadn't thought of it like that, that kind of detail, or that thoroughly at all, and it was - interesting.

Lightsaber fights are so hard to write. I'm sure I blabbled about this scene a number of times in stary thoughts Vader seems to make a lot of broad strokes in the OT, even holding his saber with one hand in ESB's duel, and seems overconfident more often than not. Think of what Obi-Wan could have done (if he had wanted to) when Vader aimed at his neck.

Daven's jokes, LMAO! I especially liked the anecdote about Vader and the swamps of Naboo. That was great. I was sitting here laughing, thinking how can I laugh when Daven's so near death?

I know I wanted to try to write a potentially dead serious scene broken up by one person's twisted humor. Daven is a true Jedi, I think, and, unlike Anakin, has learned to control his fear. And if you could use humor to your advantage by throwing your enemy off balance. Of course, it didn't work for Daven, apperantly

And then his realization of who Vader really is - I hadn't thought of it before, but do you think Vader wouldn't have wanted the Jedi as a group to know Vader is him? Or that he was Anakin Skywalker, anyway *runs from mad Vader*.

I don't know if he would have wanted everyone to know or not. *thinks* The potential to cause the Jedi even more pain by reminding them that they failed would probably be tempting to Mr. Dark Side. But the fact that Vader=Anakin is obviously not well known - Luke survives for 18 years with the name Skywalker and Anakin is still thought of highly amoung the rebel pilots in ANH. I think the Jedi that were personal friends of Anakin knew about him turning, but the word never spread to the other Jedi. There were like 10,000 Jedi at the Order's height and in a choatic time like the Clone Wars, information might not have reached all of them.

Nyssa is great. You really show the individuality of both characters - they're not just a bunch of traits, either, but very real people in my mind.

Well, you know about proper characterization from what I've seen People always say that making a good character is not making them perfect, but "give them character flaws." I think that's a silly way to see it The best character is a three-dimensional person with likes, dislikes, a history, and reactions based on them. *gets off pedestal*

I've read few pro novels (SW or otherwise) that truly manage that in so little as you have here. Amazing. Can I steal your writing ability?

How am I suppose to respond to that? I don't think you need to steal mine, silly I'm still just glad they apperantly aren't Mary Sues. They are my first OCs. I haven't read a pro novel in so long. I ought to sometime

Yes, she's in love with him, but it's not - gushy, certainly, or even insanely so, she just is.

People that are not prone to gush probably won't even when they realize that they're in love. Nyssa isn't gushy, methinks She's more like "I love this guy, and, if he dies, I will be woefully miserable. So either save him or be unhappy." Still sweet in it's own right, but more real, I think.

I love it. Great job!

Aw. Thank you so much for replying Oba! I means so much to me!


Ish: I didn't know you were into OCs, Ish.

The whole thing about the Corellian national anthem was priceless, the medbay monologue better.

Two of my favorite parts I remember smirking, if not giggling while writing both.

Thanks a lot for replying, Ish [fa

 

People are ... people have ... read and replied to my little story!

*snorts* I told you so. And it hasn't even been two weeks yet.

I loved it, of course - I actually loved this one even better than the last one. I loved the way you wrote Vader - it was flawlessly done. All too often people tend to slip into one of two traps - either painting him as some rabid demon or making him this weepy puddle of a man who knows not what he does, but is oh-so-very sorry for it. As amusing as those caricatures are, neither of them express what Lord Vader really is.

This is Lord Vader:

?You are unwise,? Vader finally spoke coldly. ?You come before me and make jest, leaving your defenses lowered. You certainly will pay for your stupidity.?

*shudders* Again, flawlessly done.

That said, you had me cracking up throughout this whole thing, which was pretty ludicrous since I was also so afraid for Daven, I kept telling myself, "No, he can't die - this is a 50-page fic! We're only on page eight or something!"

But I couldn't help it. I laughed when he mentioned his great pride in the curvature of his back. I laughed when he started taunting Vader. Even the line I just mentioned about killed me, because it was so hilarious that Daven would be so absurd.

Moving on, I also loved how you wrote the scene where Nyssa realizes that she's in love. Again, it had me cracking up.


She applied the cloth to his face and he hissed in response.

?You are so ungrateful,? she continued angrily as she worked, clearing the dried blood away from his handsome features. ?Here I am, risking my butt to save you and you can?t even wake up to say thank you! No, instead you grunt and groan and scoff at my meager med bay. But if you had just let me kill you like a good boy, we wouldn?t be in this mess! You wouldn?t be lying in my bay ? my sick bay! ? like a bloody goop pile and I wouldn?t be ? I wouldn?t be ??


That's right, Nyssa - way to put the ungrateful sod in his place.

So basically and for the umpteenth time, I loved this story. I want more of this story. I hope Amsie'll be finished beta-ing the next part of this story soon, so I can read it. to both of you in the meantime, you for doing it, Atty, and Amsie for making you.

Oh, and Atty, when I got to your keyed-up livestock, I almost fell out of my chair.



For freedom. For justice. Viva la Rebellion.

 

::Chin wobbles.:: I miss getting Fate reviews, because they're so fun. Pallas, until I came here, I did nothing but OCs and unconventional stories, like a woman Lusankya assassin, two Jedi who fall in love, the story of a few of the Endor pilots...

 

Fate: Oooooooooo, long reply! You're awesome, Desi

*snorts* I told you so. And it hasn't even been two weeks yet.

And I told me so, too. So I listen to myself less than I listen to you, even. I'm a strange person *shakes head* But I'm so glad that people are reading. You know that

All too often people tend to slip into one of two traps - either painting him as some rabid demon or making him this weepy puddle of a man who knows not what he does, but is oh-so-very sorry for it.

I know! Vader is a very nasty but efficient type of guy. Although he kills for very frivolous reasons, he still has reasons, you know? Even if Anakin had lived when he returned to the light side at the end of RotJ, he would, imho, be the type to say "yeah, okay, I made some really horrible mistakes and did awful things, but crying and begging for forgiveness won't help! I've got to start undoing some of the damage I've done."

*shudders* Again, flawlessly done.

Thank you, my dear!

That said, you had me cracking up throughout this whole thing, which was pretty ludicrous since I was also so afraid for Daven, I kept telling myself, "No, he can't die - this is a 50-page fic! We're only on page eight or something!"

Aha! I loved that that scene worked the way I wanted to. Of course Daven can't die yet! They haven't fallen in love with each other! They still need the kissies

Even the line I just mentioned about killed me, because it was so hilarious that Daven would be so absurd.



That's right, Nyssa - way to put the ungrateful sod in his place.

He's an ... ingrate ...

to both of you in the meantime, you for doing it, Atty, and Amsie for making you.

Thanks and I'm sure Amsie would thank you as well. She pushed me very hard

Oh, and Atty, when I got to your keyed-up livestock, I almost fell out of my chair.

HA!


Ish: I miss getting Fate reviews, because they're so fun.

They are. Fate's quite the reviewer priate I'll bet it's a subtle reminder/hint of what sort of reviews I should be leaving on Boda story. I suck at reviewing, though. And I'll bet Fate knows that

Pallas, until I came here, I did nothing but OCs and unconventional stories, like a woman Lusankya assassin, two Jedi who fall in love, the story of a few of the Endor pilots...

Ah. And you used to *ponders* you ran a site devoted to unconventional stories, yes?

Well, Amsie has given me back the next part, but, sadly, it has quite a few problems. Perhaps I can get it done tonight. But, woe is me, school starts tomorrow. So, who knows now? *weeps for lost freedom*

 

Oh, posties!

***

Daven?s first conscious feeling was actually bewilderment. How could the human body still be alive and in this much pain at the same time? Everything from his head to his thighs ached.

He rose slowly, making sure not to put too much strain on his chest ? some ribs felt like they were damaged ? and pulled a rough, woolen blanket away from his body. He was thankful, if a bit stunned, to notice the bacta on some of his larger cuts.

He found his clothes cleaned, but not folded, and resting on the table beside the bed. He looked around thoughtfully, noting that he was in a standard med bay. Near as he could see, a various array of antidote, stim, and pain relieving medjars that lined the shelves along two of the walls. A small but expensive bacta tank sat against the third wall.

Only a bounty hunter like Nyssa would be able to afford such a convenient tool. Daven smiled at the thought of how much she might have needed it after one of their confrontations.

But the smile turned into a guff grimace at the knowledge that he was, of course, most likely still board the Gray Star and in Nyssa?s custody. He sighed, but realized that this was no time to feel sorry for himself. Nyssa had a reason for leaving him alive, and he decided that, if he wanted to stay that way, he would have to find out why.

He dressed carefully but quickly, and slowly made his way out to see the rest of the ship. His steps were cautious, not for sheath or for grace, but for the fear of some broken bone he had yet to find.

Vader had been stronger than he expected. It wasn?t his physical strength, but his mastery of the Force that had overwhelmed Daven?s defences. It made sense, though, now that he knew exactly who Vader was. Used to be, rather.

Anakin Skywalker had always found a strong ally in the Force. If he had studied more, studied as much as he should have, Daven could have imagined that Anakin would have someday overtaken the Masters in skill.

Well, apparently he had, Daven thought bitterly, feeling a small amount of bile rise in his throat at the memory of Mace Windu?s brutal death.

He found himself in the main comms room, but there was no sign of Nyssa. He turned to leave, but a transparasteel galactic map on the far wall caught his attention. Walking over to it , he noticed the small lights that flicked at various places across the galaxy. The glowpins were stuck, he soon realized as he followed the path with his finger, onto each of the systems he had sought refuge in during his exile. Nyssa had probably placed them there to trace a pattern of his wanderings in an attempt to predict where she might find him next.

The lines of dots and dates, however, were completely random, to his satisfaction.

He ran his thumb along the small pegs, tracking where they led, color by color, and tried to remember each of the planets he had visited. His mind came up empty on nearly half of them as he attempted to recall what the spaceport?s appearance or even the face of a single native citizen.

So many places, yet he never stopped to gain any knowledge of them. He had nothing to show for all his adventures but a pair of worn out pilot trousers and a jacket. By the Force, he couldn?t remember where he had obtained either of them. He didn?t even have his old Jedi tunics or his lightsaber. Both had been left on Corellia ? one in an abandoned, low-rent apartment, the other in the hands of Darth Vader.

Their loss, as trivial as it was, suddenly made Daven feel homesick. The Temple, now burnt to ashes for all he knew, would no longer be there to welcome him. Neither would the Masters, who were all dead by his estimation.

He felt highly un-Jedi-like ? after all, what was left for a Jedi in this galaxy now? ? as he placed the last pin, a neon green one, on the Corellian system.

?I always use the orange pins for planets that I?ve actually found you on,? Nyssa told him. Her voice was surprisingly gentle, sad almost. ?Although I was thinking of using a red one for the system wher

 

I guess nobody liked this post. Le sigh

*pulls out lyre and starts singing Ovid, Amores 2.6.*

Quid referam timidae pro te pia vota puellae --
Vota procelloso per mare rapta Noto?
Septima lux venit non exhibitura sequentem,
Et stabat vacuo iam tibi Parca colo.
Nec tamen ignavo stupuerunt verba palato+;
Clamavit moriens lingua: 'Corinna, vale!'
Colle sub Elysio nigra nemus ilice frondet,
Udaque perpetuo gramine terra viret.
Siqua fides dubiis, volucrum locus ille piarum
Dicitur, obscenae quo prohibentur aves.
Illic innocui late pas****ur olores
Et vivax phoenix, unica semper avis;
Explicat ipsa suas ales Iunonia pinnas,
Oscula dat cupido blanda columba mari.
Psittacus has inter nemorali sede receptus
Convertit volucres in sua verba pias.
Ossa tegit tumulus -- tumulus pro corpore magnus
Quo lapis exiguus par sibi carmen habet:
Colligor ex ipso dominae placuisse sepulcro.
Ora fuere mihi plus ave docta loqui.

*grieves*

 

Hey!!

I didn't know this had been updated. If I ever miss an update, you have my permission to PM me a beating. (Though I'm already at myself. )

It was good! I loved how Nyssa doesn't just attempt to fall into Daven's arms (though I can just picture it - he's so shocked he lets her fall ), she tries to get him to join him in what she sees as his (and her) best bet. Interesting that Daven sensed her deception, but not the reason for it. But you very skillfully reinforced Nyssa's feelings to the reader through her actions, even if Daven is still confused. It takes a good writer to tell the reader something, through the character's eyes without the character ever figuring it out - and making it all believable.

But of course you pull it off.

Wonderful. I can't wait to see what happens next. Does Daven join the Rebellion? I don't think it has the people or skill or resources to protect any Jedi right now (like how Luke evaded capture in the OT time period). Hmmm. And what will Nyssa do? Follow him? I don't think it will be that simple for her.

*sighs* More. Quickly.

[edit] Really random - I recognized puellae and venit in that . . . whatever that is! W00t! *feels smart*

 

Darn it, Atty. Here I've been attempting to back off my fan fic addiction and you have to go and post a new addicting story?

Sorry, I've been lurking since I decided to read it several days ago. (I couldn't pass up peeking at a new story by you, I love your other one so much too). But I love it. Love the characters. Love the confrontation with Vader. Love how the story's going. I love it all.

 

Excellent post, Jayen!

Hmm, perhaps you should start asking your readers if they would like to be PMed update notifications. In my experience, it makes a story easier to follow .

And hey, you're flattering me . I'm not going to say something silly like "It's unwarranted" or "Really, there's no need" because I liked hanging on every scene and pushing you to complete the story. Slow and steady always wins the race - even if you're a turtle.

I'll try to beta another post ASAP!

Ams

 

oba: I didn't know this had been updated. If I ever miss an update, you have my permission to PM me a beating. (Though I'm already at myself.)

Aw I fingered as much. I trust your loyalty But I just took the pleasent opportunity to recite a poem about a dead parrot going to birdie heaven.

I loved how Nyssa doesn't just attempt to fall into Daven's arms (though I can just picture it - he's so shocked he lets her fall )

I could totally picture that, too. "Wha-?" *floop, crash*

Interesting that Daven sensed her deception, but not the reason for it.

Yep. What sort of writer would I be if I let Nyssa's little secret go so early? Besides, Nyssa's a person used to hiding her feelings as deep as she can. And Daven, well, isn't the most focused lightsaber on the belt when it comes to women's more romantic feelings. His line of thought: Nyssa= bounty hunter = bad. Thus bounty hunter's thoughts also = bad.

But you very skillfully reinforced Nyssa's feelings to the reader through her actions, even if Daven is still confused. It takes a good writer to tell the reader something, through the character's eyes without the character ever figuring it out - and making it all believable.

Thanks , but I have to admit that I had numerous point of view problems with this scene and had to revise I had to cut a lot of Nyssa's thoughts, but, in the long run, it gave me a better understanding as to how and why she was reacting to what she was reacting to.

I don't think it has the people or skill or resources to protect any Jedi right now (like how Luke evaded capture in the OT time period).

Yes, I do wonder what the early forms of the rebellion looked like Surely it must have been rising even at that early stage. I don't think a group could amass that many people and ships in anything under a decade and a half. It is interesting to note that the ANH rebellion has no Jedi, so you're probably right on that account. Poor Daven. No place to run or is there?

Really random - I recognized puellae and venit in that . . . whatever that is! W00t! *feels smart*

Before you know it you'll be reading that thing in meter


Bel: Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel! *squee* *tackle hugs*

Darn it, Atty. Here I've been attempting to back off my fan fic addiction and you have to go and post a new addicting story?

I aim to fill the hours that you could spend cleaning your room or saving the rain forest on mindless drabbling regarding two imaginary people that don't even exist in the real fake world. *points to Amsie* blame her! Her fualt!

Sorry, I've been lurking since I decided to read it several days ago.

You'll get no chiding from me My lurker talents still pop up now and again. Thank you from letting me know that you read it, though It means a lot

But I love it. Love the characters. Love the confrontation with Vader. Love how the story's going. I love it all.

Thank you so much, Bel


Amsie: Hmm, perhaps you should start asking your readers if they would like to be PMed update notifications. In my experience, it makes a story easier to follow.

I suppose you're right. Why are you always right? I will, I guess, as much as I hate to bug people

And hey, you're flattering me

And you love it! Admit it, babe and deserve it

I'm not going to say something silly like "It's unwarranted" or "Really, there's no need" because I liked hanging on every scene and pushing you to complete the story.

And it was a really welcomed thing to have! I knew that this story wouldn't exactly get the readership of my runofthemill A/P stuff, so it was nice to know that at least one person would care what happene

 

***

Daven had gone through great lengths to avoid Nyssa at every possible junction. He found a way to be asleep when she awoke, getting up when she went to bed, and mediating in those few hours in which they both managed to be awake.

Their conversations were often strained with Daven mumbling only as many words as necessary about eating or changing watch shifts. Nyssa, in her many days alone, attempted to feel nothing but irritation, or, even better, apathy for the stubborn Jedi.

Her more vengeful side simply tempted her to just kiss him goodbye and throw him out of the airlock for being such an eopie?s butt. Oh, she would miss him, sure, but time healed all wounds. She had been in love and had lost loves before. Why should Daven be any different?

Let him go to that useless rebellion, she thought bitterly. He can die there, for all I care. If only she could convince herself to mean it.

The world of Maylass appeared, centered in the viewscreen, as the Gray Star pulled out of hyperspace. Maylass V was less of a planet and more of a moon, rotating irregularly around the gas giant. It glistened blue against the red planet framed behind it, but, despite the contrast of colors, Nyssa still had trouble locating it with the naked eye. She waited patiently as the navicomputer locked on to its target, and the ship began to pull towards Maylass V.

She heard Daven approaching from the crew quarters, returning after his meditation early, and she turned to watch him as he entered.

He had healed remarkably well, Nyssa noticed; the swelling around his eye had completely receded, his bruises were gone, and his cuts were little more than a few brownish-red scabs.

?Are we in system?? he asked, chirpy once more. She could have sworn, although she wasn?t Force sensitive, that euphoria radiated of him as he took the copilot?s seat.

?Yeah, we should reach Maylass Five?s atmosphere within ?? she checked the chronometer ? ?fifteen minutes.?

He nodded thoughtfully and leaned back. He seemed calmer and more content just now than he had been during the past several days. She could only imagine it was because they would be parting ways soon, since he was often edgy in her presence.

?The Force has been quite pleasant of late,? he said, answering her unspoken question. He looked at her, eyes filled not with spiteful distrust, but relaxed acceptance. ?I sense that the future will be brighter. Perhaps I have made the right decision about the rebellion. But I feel, maybe, that I have been unduly harsh to you. For that, I am sorry.?

?The Force told you all that?? She tried to conceal her astonishment and delight at his apology with unintentional badgering.

?Yes, if in not so many words,? he smiled softly, almost shyly. ?You did save my life, though, and I am grateful.? There was more to his visions, but Nyssa probably wouldn?t understand his explanation.

?That must have been hard to admit.? Her grin was amused.

?Well,? he said with mock severity, ?if you don?t want to be friends, than I certainly won?t force you.? He crossed his arms over his torso and huffed, raising his nose in the air.

?You are the strangest Jedi I?ve ever met,? she stated honestly. ?Where?s all that Jedi stoicism??

?On some backwater planet, I imagine, contemplating the wonders of death.? He favored her with an ever so familiar smirk. ?I learned a long time ago that if you take everything too seriously, you?d forget what it means to be alive.?

?And here I thought this whole time that your humor was a poorly developed coping mechanism.?

?Ah, maybe.? He looked thoughtful for a moment. ?You knew other Jedi?? he asked suddenly, remembering her pervious statement. The amusement in his eyes lessened as he considered exactly how she might know them.

?Not in the way you?re thinking,? she clarified. ?I was a brigadier under a Jedi during the war, at least until she died ? Master Jedi Stass Allie. She was incredibly ? noble, a wonderful leader.?

?She was,? Daven agreed, pleased that Nyss

 

But I just took the pleasent opportunity to recite a poem about a dead parrot going to birdie heaven.



Thanks , but I have to admit that I had numerous point of view problems with this scene and had to revise I had to cut a lot of Nyssa's thoughts, but, in the long run, it gave me a better understanding as to how and why she was reacting to what she was reacting to.

I can't tell. It looks perfect to me. You're one of those people that make it look so easy, aren't you?

But onto this post.

Daven is so very human. (As opposed to a caricature, not an alien. ) To me he is what a Jedi really should be. He's emotional, but that doesn't mean he's out of control, either. (And despite that, he's not a Gary Stu. He's . . . himself. ) I loved the little complexities you seem to be adding onto him, as well, giving some depth into his joke-making habits. Nyssa continues to be interesting, and I liked the peek into her past - as well as the difference between what she said and what she was thinking. Though I thought it interesting how much Daven avoided her - rather rude, and I don't entirely understand why he was that way for so much of the trip. At least he used the time well - even getting hints on how important Nyssa is or will be to him (or should be ).

Interesting (you know, I had someone complain that I made her use that word too much, and I now know how she felt), too, that Daven felt that something good was going to happen, or approach, or something - and then he finds his brethren dead. I really felt for him as he wept for them. It didn't seem . . . at all out of character, for him as a Jedi. Nor for Nyssa to agree to help him honor what is left of them with a proper funeral. And Vader taking their lightsabers . . . oh man. You just illustrate SO CLEARLY the emotions, the reality of the galaxy-changing aspect of this time period, everything.

It's like I'm just left with a sigh. I just want to sit and think about things for a bit. Contemplative, I guess is the right word.

Wonderful. I expected nothing less, though.

Btw, can I ask what the Latin in your sig means? 'We are' something or other.

 

^^^ what she said.

 

oba: It looks perfect to me. You're one of those people that make it look so easy, aren't you?

lol, you're too kind I'm sure Am would disagree, after all, she's the one that has to make all the little comments on my drafts. Ah, well, fun stuff all the same.

Daven is so very human. (As opposed to a caricature, not an alien. ) To me he is what a Jedi really should be. He's emotional, but that doesn't mean he's out of control, either.

Yay! That's what I was going for I honestly don't think a Jedi can survive reality without feeling and showing emotion. Obi-Wan's grief at Qui-Gon's death, Yoda's amusement when he meets Luke. It's all about controlling those emotions. Anakin never learned to do that properly for whatever reason.

(And despite that, he's not a Gary Stu. He's . . . himself. )

That's good Though I think he's probably the exact examplar of hotness. Does that count for Gary Stu-ness?

I loved the little complexities you seem to be adding onto him, as well, giving some depth into his joke-making habits.

Daven writes himself, even if I have an underdeveloped sense of humor

Nyssa continues to be interesting, and I liked the peek into her past - as well as the difference between what she said and what she was thinking.

I debated with myself about how much of Nyssa I wanted to reveal. This was supposed to be a short story and Nyssa was the "mysterious bounty hunter" type with no past. But the fact that she falls in love with the purest member of her society, a Jedi, made me begin to wonder just how a character like her comes to be. And I thought I'd share my idea of her past in the story because I think it's interesting and, well, this story is so long already that a few more paragraphs can't hurt

Though I thought it interesting how much Daven avoided her - rather rude, and I don't entirely understand why he was that way for so much of the trip.

I think Daven is kind of, although not overwelmingly, a bit of a jerk. He still sees Nyssa as a potential enemy, despite every thing she's done for him. I guess the years on the run have taught him not to trust anybody. Plus his feelings of attraction to her confuse him, and he would want to avoid dealing with them. I think it would be fun to write the scenes in between this part and the last, but I don't want to bore anyone further

At least he used the time well - even getting hints on how important Nyssa is or will be to him (or should be ).

Yep. Poor boy has to get wacked in the head with a Force vision to get a clue

Interesting (you know, I had someone complain that I made her use that word too much, and I now know how she felt), too, that Daven felt that something good was going to happen, or approach, or something - and then he finds his brethren dead.

Interesting indeed I guess it would be ironic in a very devestating sense.

I really felt for him as he wept for them. It didn't seem . . . at all out of character, for him as a Jedi.

The crying was a hard decision to make for me. He is a Jedi, after all, and as the stoic hero he should be "a man" about it and not cry. But at the same time he's lost everyone he's ever cared about - his master, Jedi friends - and is alone, on a strange world with a woman he's not too sure about. And then he sees another keen reminder of how horrible his life has gotten, how many follow Jedi that have lost their lives.

Nor for Nyssa to agree to help him honor what is left of them with a proper funeral.

Yeah, Nyssa is a bounty hunter, but she isn't hreatless like, say, Boba Fett. She is still capable of an emotion as powerful as love, so she still understands, I think, the value of life.

And Vader taking their lightsabers . . . oh man. You just illustrate SO CLEARLY the emotions, the reality of the galaxy-changing aspect of this time period, everything.

Yeah, what a horrible time that must be, a galaxy-wide sl