Saga Emperor Palpatine's True Side, A Look at His Blog. *UPDATE 7/30/05*

Title: Emperor Palpatine's True Side, A Look at His Blog
Author(s): -RebelScum-
Timeframe: General Classic Era
Characters: Emperor Palpatine
Genre: Humour
Keywords:
Summary: This is Emperor Palpatines personal blog, covers everything from partying to telemarketers.
Notes: This has been great fun to write




This will basically be a fanfic about Palpatines blog, I will make entries like so.

Subject: He did it again!
Security: Public
Mood: Irritated

I am mad, my chef put too much hot sauce in my soup again, he KNOWS that stuff is too hot for me... this is my third chef this week, you think they would start trying by now.

and so on, it will basically about the side of Palps you DONT see.



Before I start it i'd like some feedback from you guys on if I should start, if i get some postive replies ill make the first post in a few hours.

**NOTE** This is my second fanfic, if you wish to read my first fanfic Torch of the Jedi Infinities: Ben's Despair it is in my profile

 

*chuckles* I'd say its got potential to be quite a funny little enterprise. Go for it

 

More, please?!?

 

Great idea, would love more...

And I guess replies can be like blog comments...

 

Subject: I hate this cloak
Security: Public
Mood: Itchy


Being the dark monarch of the Galaxy does have its down sides believe it or not, Prince Xizor just left from a two hour audience with me and my cloak was riding up the whole time! I tried scratching with the Dark Side but Xizor was too boring for me to the summon the anger, He was just rambling on and on about how Xizor Transport Systems could do great service to the Empire blah blah blah, I seriously think that guy likes to hear his own voice, why would I care about the profits he turned seven years ago?! At that moment I cared alot more about that chafing robe!
O well, I had the chef serve him some sour blue milk, and of course it would be a breach of etiquette for him not to drink it, much less turn it down, I almost spewed my own blue milk out of my nose watching his face when he took a swig, Hm, Vader is calling, I gotta run.


Posted by Emperor Palpatine at 04:39 Standard Time

EDIT: Support the thread and the posts may get longer and more frequent!

 

ROTFL! This is great.

 

I have the next updated ready, Please post everyone! I wont post my updated till a few more replies rack up

 

More please, it would be nice to see Palpatine's side of the Star Wars saga.

 

the next updated is up!

Subject: Nooooo!
Security: Public
Mood: Mourning


Vader has betrayed me! He has done more harm to me then any living being!



He ran my lucky cowl through the wash machine! And it was HAND WASH ONLY, now it's so small it would not even fit a Jawa... I am so mad!
I am going to take away his killing privileges for a month! He'll be bouncing off the walls if he hasn't killed at least one officer every couple days, o ya! And I will make him wear that pink sweater with "#1 Tyrant" on it my late aide gave me for Wookiee Life Day (she isn't late for nothing)That will be so embarrassing, imagine him trying to intimidate Veers wearing pink! O Force, I almost choked on a Kaduu Krunchy from laughing too hard.

Anyway, this is not funny I miss my cowl so much... I have had it so long, this wasn't ANY cowl, it was my LUCKY cowl, I had it when I fought Yoda, when I seduced Dooku to the Dark Side, I even had it at the coming into Emperorship party Vader through for me... I need a drink, later all.

EDIT: please post by the way, people who just read and run are no fun....

 

Master... you wouldn't.

By the way, the cowl was ugly.

-Vader

 

LOL! Hey, Vader did the guy a favor. He needed a new wardrobe.

 

These are great!

 

Palps likes his wardrobe! (im a close friend, how else did i get his blog?)

and yes, he would Vader

and thanks for thinking these are funny! nothing makes me feel better then people commenting on the fanfic! (except maybe money... that makes me feel good also )

Updated Tomarrow Hopefully!

 

Ha! hahahahahahahaahaha.
That's hilarious. more please.

 

If this cowl thing is a problem, he can get new clothings. He can find something more cool and more scarier .

 

Subject: The HoloNet is Out!
Security: Public
Mood: Sad

The holonet is out and I am missing the new episode of It's an Ewok World! For the people out there who do not know what this is it is only the hottest new reality show, they shoot down people over Endor and then record them from a satillite!

Technically it's illegal but I turn a blind eye just because it is so fun to watch! Just the other day a blurrg ate Kalebb Antilles! So far there are only three people left! They took refuge with those furry Ewok things, I actually heard some guy named Wes Janson made a big deal about Ewok rights during last season, hah, I made a speech and shot that loser down, good times, though I think he defected to the rebel scum shortly afterward, he probably gave some grandiose reason about tyranny, but everyone knows it was about Ewoks.... loser.

Anyway, back to the holonet, I called the repairman twenty minutes ago! What could be taking him... it's over soon. Agh, I gotta go, I'm going to find him, force him to fix it, and then feed my piranha beetles. If you catch my drift.

Posted by Emperor Palpatine at 2:04 Standard Time

 

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Yes, it was about Ewoks. Someday, they'll turn against you, and you'll regret it... Oh, you'll regret it...

And don't bother trying to find me by tracing this post. I'm dating the best slicer in the galaxy... who are YOU dating, you yellow-eyed freak?

-WJ

 

You were dating, WJ, I've seen to that.

-- Lord V

(More please )

 

This is just fantastic, I really do hope you post more often. I will be waiting!

 

Very amusing. I'd like more.

 

LOL!

Hmmm...so even in the GFFA, cable/holonet repairmen are always late.

 

thank you all for the support! I'll start workin on the next part now!

hm, im thinking... AHA!
Telemarketing!

 

Subject: Telemarketers
Security: Public
Mood: Bad


Well, the holonet guy came and fixed my holonet just in time for me to see the ending credits (addictive song though, it is some sort of classical music but with Ewok yub yubs instead of instruments, nice stuff) anyway, lets just say the repairman got the pleasure of feeding my beetles.

So anyway, I am already in a bad mood, one day it is my lucky cowl, then the holonet! Now you know what happens? Telemarketers... And do you know what he was trying to sell me, Dark Emperor of all of the known universe? The full first season of Antony the Happy Droid... does that strike you as an impulse product to you? Did not think so, so you know I was already pretty mad, so I overreacted a bit... I asked where he was working from and he told me so... meh, it is too late to call back that strike force now...

Anyway, I am still trying to find someone, an officer, stormtrooper, even a janitor who recorded that episode of It is an Ewok World...

Posted by Emperor Palpatine 5:38 Standard Time



Remember people, the authors need as much attention as the readers, post!

 

Thanks for the PM

Another great post.

Looking forward to more!

 

LOL, Antony the Happy Droid. No connection to Anthony Daniels, is there? I hate telemarketers!