Beyond "Empress Jaina Fel", version 1 [DN3 AU, UPDATED 10th February!! See inside, and read v.2]

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Thrawn McEwok, Jan 19, 2008.

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  1. Thrawn McEwok Co-Author: Essential Guide to Warfare

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    Disclaimer: Star Wars, the Galaxy in which it is set, and probably most of the intergalactic void all belong to George Lucas. This is just one fan's personal critical and artistic response, a not-for-profit exploration of the themes, continuity, charatcerization, and settings of the Star Wars saga and Expanded Universe. Please feel free to discuss it and respond!

    Author's Note: This story is a little bit experimental, as I'm posting two seperate drafts, set in different timeframes, with all that means for characters and continuity. This is the original version, set in an AU which diverges somewhere around the end of the NJO. Over in version 2, you'll find the rewrite, which is set soon after 'Legacy of the Force', and technically compliant with canon as we have it.

    It's been interesting adjusting the story like I did, and I hope you'll find the compariosn between the two versions interesting, as well!

    I do have plans to continue this further, but I expect they'll be defined somewhat by the reaction I get. I'm not sure if I want to put it to a straightforward 'vote' yet, but I am interested to hear what you have to say. Please PM me, if you want to comment, but you're nervous about doing so in public!

    Thanks for reading this through, and I hope that you enjoy the 'fic!!



    Empress Jaina Fel

    Prologue: 32 ABY

    "Empress Fel?"

    Jaina turned away from the viewports, and looked at the tall man silhouetted in the doorway of the throne room.

    "Master Durron," she answered, in the Imperial accent that seemed to come too easily now. Then she grinned, and it was her father's Corellian smirk. "Kyp." She gestured at the red-garbed guards. "Leave us."

    They left without a word, and Kyp started across the floor towards her, his boot-heels clacking on the bare metal deck.

    "How are you, Goddess?" he asked, as they clasped tight in each other's arms.

    "I'm well, Kyp," she answered, brushing the hair out of his face, then hunting for his lips. "I've missed you. You need a haircut."

    "You look perfect too," he murmured.

    A thought passed between them, something about widowhood and loss, and how some people felt nothing at all.

    Eventually, they broke apart - cautiously, still tender. A third human presence had joined them in the room.

    Jaina scoured the shadows, finding him eventually - hiding behind the throne that would be his one day.

    "My son," she explained, to Kyp's questioning expression. "Come on out of there, Junior."

    The Prince Imperial moved cautiously out into the light, looking stubbornly at the two of them. He looked like a miniature version of his father as he walked down the steps - his real father.

    It broke her heart in pieces.

    "You were kissing mommy," he accused, blue eyes glaring up at Kyp.

    "Ben," she said, crouching down, and looking him in the eye. "This is Jedi Master Kyp Durron. He's a very good friend of mine. He's allowed to get hugs and kisses from me, just like you are - only, he's not quite as special to me. But he's one of the special people."

    Her five-year-old stepson looked doubtful. Kyp just rolled his eyes./>
  2. Spike2002 Former FF-UK RSA and Arena Manager

    Member Since:
    Feb 4, 2002
    star 6
    They left without a word, and Kyp started across the floor towards her, his boot-heels clacking on the bare metal deck.

    "How are you, Goddess?" he asked, as they clasped tight in each other's arms.

    "I'm well, Kyp," she answered, brushing the hair out of his face, then hunting for his lips. "I've missed you. You need a haircut."


    Has anyone actually called Jaina, 'Goddess' since the NJO finished? :p

    Ben is her step-son? WTH :eek:
  3. Lightsaber123 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2007
    star 3
    actually, Ben in this version is Jaina's biological son.
    I'm thinking Zekk's the father (because it says DN3 AU).
    Jaina's still married to Jag Fel, so maybe he died of natural causes in this one.
    Ben in this version apprently cares a lot more for Jaina than in the other.
    Zekk and Jaina probably held Ben hostage and then Ben got killed when they ripped the ransom.
    and then Jaina felt too bad for Mara and Luke.
    So a little disappointed that Jaina says I instead of we, but overall, you never cease to amaze me, Thrawn.
  4. Spike2002 Former FF-UK RSA and Arena Manager

    Member Since:
    Feb 4, 2002
    star 6

    No, he's her stepson. And it is Ben.
  5. Lightsaber123 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2007
    star 3
    No, he's her stepson. And it is Ben.

    NO FREAKING COW.

    No! That's not true! That's impossible.
    NO!

    okay, point.

    Thrawn, what happened? Did Jaina mindrub Ben or something?
  6. Flowerlady Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2005
    star 4
    Okay, I'm confused, but somehow I knew that I would be the moment I clicked open the story.:p

    But I'm also too intrigued not to read more. Since this is being posted where it is being posted I can assume several things...But I can't guess how any of this can be.8-}

    If you're doing PMs, by all means, send me one when you update. I've got to find this out.


    FL @};-
  7. Killik_Twilight Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2005
    star 4
    This is strange... so Ben thinks of Jaina as his mother. Wonder what'll happen when he finds out the truth...

    KT
  8. star_writer24 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 15, 2006
    star 4
    I think this Ben is Kyp's son, and V2 Ben is Luke and Mara's.
  9. Thrawn McEwok Co-Author: Essential Guide to Warfare

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    Kyp's nostalgic? [face_mischief]

    Yep. [face_whistling]

    Uhh... no.

    Nope, sorry. [face_mischief]

    And... no again. Didn't you notice that Kyp and Jaina shared a silent thought on the subject of widowhood?

    Who, Zekk? I hadn't even thought of him. Well, at least that one's not a straight "no". :p

    He's less cynical, certainly? [face_mischief]

    Whuh? Nothing like that, no. No, no, no!!! Ben IS Ben!!! [face_mischief]

    That might have been an idea, but it would be the 'royal we': she's not a joiner here. [face_mischief]

    Yep! :D

    Nope. :p

    You want me to explain here, or in the 'fic? [face_mischief]

    Thank you! :D [:D] [face_peace]

    What makes you think Ben doesn't know the truth. It seems that Leia always knew she was adopted. Doesn't stop her thinking of Bail Organa as her father. [face_mischief]

    No, both are Ben. I don't want to confuse the reader by giving multiple characters the same name. [face_mischief]

    ***

    So, does anyone want an explanation NOW, or ought I to explain it organically in the 'fic? [face_mischief]

    I think I should make it clear that Ben Skywalker is Jaina and Jag's adopted son here. But that's all I'm telling you for now!! :D

    - The Imperial Ewok
  10. raisedbywolves Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 1, 2005
    star 2
    o_O

    I'm not entirely sure what you're up to here, McEwok. But I do like the younger Ben better, I think. I liked Jaina's explanation that Kyp is "one of the special people". This version gave me more hope for a positive future, sort of.

    And I'm perfectly willing to sit back and wait to find out why Ben is Jaina's stepson. Till we get an explanation, I think I'll just assume Luke's dead and Jaina's married Mara out of political convenience. :p
  11. EvieSolo Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 11, 2005
    star 2
    I vote for this version! :p
  12. Solo_and_Fel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 19, 2004
    star 3
    I have to agree with Flowerlady.

    i don't quite understand yet, but I'm intrigued.
  13. Alkibiades Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 15, 2007
    star 2
    It's been interesting adjusting the story like I did, and I hope you'll find the compariosn between the two versions interesting, as well!

    I certainly did!

    Thanks for reading this through, and I hope that you enjoy the 'fic!!

    It's been a pleasure reading!


    Empress Jaina Fel

    Ugghhhh. FEL! Jay! Empress Jaya! (Durron. Or Solo. NOT Fel.)

    "Master Durron," she answered, in the Imperial accent that seemed to come too easily now. Then she grinned, and it was her father's Corellian smirk. "Kyp." She gestured at the red-garbed guards. "Leave us."

    Ah. First male in this story a Durron. Better.

    The Prince Imperial moved cautiously out into the light, looking stubbornly at the two of them. He looked like a miniature version of his father as he walked down the steps - his real father.

    It broke her heart in pieces.


    Second man in the house: Ben Skywalker. Nice. Jaina is not Sith? I mean, she still has a heart to break into pieces. How can you be Sith and have a whole heart? So, she is no Sith, but she is the Empress? How can an Empress not be Sith? Okay, that can be, but still, Sith are more fun, yes? [face_mischief] Especially happy family-Sith.

    "You were kissing mommy," he accused, blue eyes glaring up at Kyp.

    Sweet. A son's protectiveness. Shows the relationship between Jaina and Ben has enough of a strong mother-son bond, a happy basis at the least. A happy family? They married and lived happily ever after? Or is that my imagination running ahead of the story? You are probably going to torture them in three hundred thousand ways. My heart is bro - no, I must keep my imagination in check.

    "Ben," she said, crouching down, and looking him in the eye. "This is Jedi Master Kyp Durron. He's a very good friend of mine. He's allowed to get hugs and kisses from me, just like you are - only, he's not quite as special to me. But he's one of the special people."

    Her five-year-old stepson looked doubtful. Kyp just rolled his eyes.


    Hmmm. Ben's reaction is not downright hostile. So, maybe they will make one happy family?

    OH! Promising!

    And it seems that Evie's little project is carrying fruit. [face_mischief] First "Brave Little Ship", and now this. Great!

    Promising, Thrawn. But, I am unsure as yet which I like better; this one or the other one. I just don't know. Sorry.

    Alkibiades

    (P.S.: I recently bumped into Imperial77, your alter ego. If Imp77 is your alter ego, that makes you twins, in a sense, yes? Twin Imperial/Ewok? TIE Writers? :D )/>
  14. Thrawn McEwok Co-Author: Essential Guide to Warfare

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    [face_laugh] Hah! :D

    Thanks for your comments on the characters and the two versions of the 'fic. I'll bear them in mind. And yes, I do quite like that line to Ben - I see what you mean!

    Sharp and to the point! =D= [:D]

    100% of the vote goes to v.1!!! ;)

    So, you'll read more? [face_mischief]

    :D

    [face_blush]

    What's wrong with Fel? o_O [face_mischief]

    :p Not biased much? ;)

    I'm not persuaded. Jaina's stubborn, too.

    So, some Sith-fan you are. :p Or is it just about self-denial? [face_mischief]

    Maybe. [face_mischief]

    You saw her .sig, huh? Or is there more to it than that? :p

    Thanks for the comments anyway. Much to think about! :cool:

    It's more like Thrawn and his penchant for disguises? [face_mischief] Or the psychological concept of outer and inner selves.

    (... but I can only blame this unexpected depiction of my psyche on the Collective Unconscious... :eek: :eek:)

    - The Imperial Ewok
  15. Thrawn McEwok Co-Author: Essential Guide to Warfare

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    star 6
    [This scene works the same in both versions!]

    Chapter One: Six Weeks Earlier

    The Star Destroyer Reconqueror advanced into orbit around Dantooine, her TIE squadrons and frigate escorts hunting ahead to chase a handful of lingering enemy gunships and snubfighters from the edge of the planet's atmosphere.

    As the Imperial flagship reached geostationary altitude, her flank turbolasers launched a handful of long-range energy lances towards the planet - a brief, one-sided exchange of fire with the anti-orbit artillery positions on the surface.

    There wasn't really much left to shoot at. Storm Commando teams had already taken out the heavy guns on the ground, along with the shield generators.

    But the Reconqueror's gunners were thorough, laying down a tight pattern of fire where their maps told them that the enemy emplacements were.

    Then, the guns fell silent.

    For a moment, nothing happened.

    Stormtrooper transports began to drop from the destroyer's launch bays, graceful white wings unfolding with elegant precision as they began their descent towards the surface.

    At least, Jaina supposed, that's what the landing would probably look like from the cockpit of a fighter.

    Here, in the cramped cargo bay of an armoured landing barge, it was rather different, with the spaceframe shaking as if it wanted to tear apart: first, the rapid rhythm of the engines, then the steady bass of high-powered repulsors, and finally, the juddering, bone-jarring chaos of the plunge from space into the planet's skies.

    And the absurd expectations of Imperial protocol meant that she was making the entire journey standing up.

    Grim-faced, she kept her footing on the deck, and gripped her hand tighter round the stanchion she was holding onto. The stormtroopers in the seats nearby seemed to be watching her.

    Who knew what they were thinking, behind those masks. Over the years, the stormtrooper helmet had been defined with so many competing symbolisms that it had become completely unreadable.

    And the people behind the masks? She wasn't sure if these ones were clones, or even any sort of human. The Force might have told her once, when she'd cared to use it for a casual game like that.

    Instead, she glanced at Jag for reassurance, and he looked back, meeting her eyes for a moment. She smiled, and nodded, and he turned away, resuming his contemplation of the scuffed plating of the bulkhead - and beyond, perhaps, a horizon that only he could see.

    Jaina frowned. To anyone else, that exchange would look like a silent, intimate dialogue between lovers. They couldn't see the way her Force-presence beckoned Jag, and the way that Jag responded, without even realising he was being led.

    She was grateful when the shuttle stopped: a final three-dimensional jerk, and then the slow, settling feeling as the landing-gear sank into mud.

    The hatch popped open, admitting light, and air that smelled of crushed grass and laser-bolts. With minimal fuss, they moved down the ramp: Emperor and Empress, surrounded by stormtrooper bodyguards.

    Around them, parked shuttles, troop transports with fresh mud spattering their sides, and squads of well-armed stormtroopers, packs and bandoliers of ammo and equipment slung over their white armour.

    She watched the AT-STs prowling the perimeter, their chin guns and commanders' macrobinocs sweeping the surrounding landscape.

    The planet had already been conquered, overrun by three battalions of the 501st before the Imperial barge even reached the surface.

    "That was quick," she said, with a grin to Jag.

    In his white Grand Admiral's uniform, with his green eyes glinting dangerously, he looked the very part of the Imperial conqueror.

    She half-smiled.

    Then something flashed, in the corner of her eye.

    "SNIPER!" someone yelled.

    There was a gasp of air, like a hammerpunch going home.

    Jag jerked back, and landed on the boarding ramp. He tried to speak, his words spilling out as blood instead.

    The too-bright stain from the entry wound already covered mos
  16. Alkibiades Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 15, 2007
    star 2
    Thrawn McEwok:

    What's wrong with Fel? o_O [face_mischief]

    Uhmmm? You kidding? He is way too perfect. The only mistake he ever makes is trusting Lowie. He survives for two years in a jungle on his own. He is a superior pilot to everyone, including all Jedi. Durron and Zekk are mere mortals, but he is a demigod. And seriously, is his spine even flexible?

    All other near-perfect characters have their weaknesses, especially in character. Mara, Thrawn, they remain human. Fel is just superhero-overly_controlled-droideka+Jedi-killer-super-pilot material. Stu, for short.

    :p Not biased much? ;)

    Nope. Not at all. O:)

    I'm not persuaded. Jaina's stubborn, too.

    So? Stubbornness is a bad trait, not a strong one. Contrary to having a strong will (Thrawn, Mon Mothma), which lets someone rationally chose a course and then stick to it whatever happens, stubbornness (Kyp, Jaina, Corran(, Leia)) clouds judgment by making someone stick with his/her own opinions no matter what. That is bad, as it leads to rejecting good counsel because it is not one's own. Stubbornness is the first thing Jaina would have to defeat is she going to make an enlightened leader.

    So, some Sith-fan you are. :p Or is it just about self-denial? [face_mischief]

    I'm not a fan of the Sith. It is just that they are fun to read, after the zillionth plot with a good guy as the hero. Antiheroes with antiplots are nice when you've had too many normal heroes with normal plots. It's why I write Dark vignettes; to keep the inner half of me that would love to corrupt my current main 'fic into a complete Darth Slaughterfest happy and content.

    You saw her .sig, huh? Or is there more to it than that? :p

    Well, I agree to the idea, of course. Though there are a few other things that I like to see you do. Marakin? *whimpers softly* Will you believe I scoured the entire 'net for Marakin after I read one of your 'fics? There are only thirty or so short stories on the topic; nothing major. And in my own 'fic, Anakin will never be born. :( There should be a [face_headache] for situations as these, by the way.

    It's more like Thrawn and his penchant for disguises? [face_mischief] Or the psychological concept of outer and inner selves.

    (... but I can only blame this unexpected depiction of my psyche on the Collective Unconscious... :eek: :eek:)


    :D :D =D= That was very funny. Unexpected, indeed. Still, TIE Writer? How do you like that? :p ;)

    ~~~

    I noticed you updated, read it, and now I will comment on that too.

    And the absurd expectations of Imperial protocol meant that she was making the entire journey standing up.

    And you know Jag just loves that. Sadist. ;)

    Instead, she glanced at Jag for reassurance, and he looked back, meeting her eyes for a moment. She smiled, and nodded, and he turned away, resuming his contemplation of the scuffed plating of the bulkhead - and beyond, perhaps, a horizon that only he could see.

    The real Jag, that I have to admit. No emotion, no reaction, continues studying the bulkhead.

    Jaina frowned. To anyone else, that exchange would look like a silent, intimate dialogue between lovers. They couldn't see the way her Force-presence beckoned Jag, and the way that Jag responded, without even realising he was being led.

    She even has to manipulate him into looking at her? :eek: That is so wrong.

    She was grateful when the shuttle stopped: a final three-dimensional jerk, and then the slow, settling feeling as the landing-gear sank into mud.

    Was I the only one to think that the three-dimensional jerk stood next to Jaina?

    He seemed to sigh one final time, and she knew that he was gone.

    And he is dead. I say, good riddance. And you know, Thrawn, that Jaina is a Jedi. She has Jedi reflexes and premonitions, and would have been able to get Jag out of the way had she wanted it. But she didn't, so she wanted him to die. So the sniper is hers
  17. Flowerlady Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2005
    star 4
    That was very well written. =D=

    But you killed Jag!!!!:_|

    And I have to wonder about Jaina "leading" Jag with the Force....Makes me wonder if she had something to do...Okay, I think I've read/heard one too many JFK conspiracy stories.:p

    More soon...



    FL @};-
  18. Solo_and_Fel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 19, 2004
    star 3
    Of course!

    When I first read "Six Weeks Earlier", I thought, "Jag, you have under 6 weeks to live!" But then it turned out to be waaaay under that. :p

    Jag not being very willingly responsive to Jaina struck me as odd.

    Ok, now I have to find out who wanted Jag dead. Keep going!
  19. Tahi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2002
    star 5
    Yeah, this is interesting - why am I not surprised. LOL Ben being a stepson of Jaina has me curious, especially as there is no mention as yet of what's happened to his folks. Jaina and Jag as Emperor and Empress - in which there seems to be a lot going on under the surface - also fascinating. I've read them in these roles in another fic, but this is obviously coming at it from a darker angle.

    Jaina frowned. To anyone else, that exchange would look like a silent, intimate dialogue between lovers. They couldn't see the way her Force-presence beckoned Jag, and the way that Jag responded, without even realising he was being led.
    That's a bit sinister. But I like it. :)
  20. Thrawn McEwok Co-Author: Essential Guide to Warfare

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    The Chiss have unusual spinal columns, or at least ergonomic chairs that encourage straight backs (no, really: Survivor's Quest, Outbound Flight).

    :p

    And, well, what else do you expect from a guy who idolizes Thrawn?

    I guess I'm much more cynical than you about the possibility of objectivity, and the difference between will and stubbornness.... :p

    You don't read many Star Wars novels, then? :p

    My accent didn't pick up the pun first time round? :p

    Did I say Jaina didn't?

    You're reading too much in: or maybe not enough? ;)

    Agin, over-reading. Maybe Jaina is over-reading, even?

    Yes. :p That pun worked first time, but it's let down by the Jag-bashing, which I simply find boring. [face_talk_hand] I-)

    ...

    Oh, well, I replied this far, so I'll leave it in situ here. [face_plain]

    :p Yep. Don't worry. Jaina wasn't involved. [face_mischief]

    Jag was willing; he just wasn't really thinking. Jaina, with her conscious Force-skills, was more in control of the situation than she'd have liked....

    It was just a random enemy sniper? :p

    Glad you're enjoying the ripples and the shadows... I guess it is designed to suggest there's more to see later in the 'fic! [face_mischief]

    [face_laugh] *Palpatine laugh* :p

    - The Imperial Ewok
  21. Solo_and_Fel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 19, 2004
    star 3
    Even if that is true... keep going! :D
  22. Alkibiades Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 15, 2007
    star 2
    Yeah... right. Straight back != durasteel back. Hey, I love Thrawn too. He's just not perfect, and Jag is. Let's leave it here. Your subconscious is on my side anyway, 'cause Jag is dead here. [face_laugh] :p

    Maybe?

    Has there ever been one where the bad guys lived evilly ever after? Even in the darkest moments, there always is someone left, and you always know beforehand everything will come out alright; it wouldn't sell if it didn't, for one.

    Yes, you did. She thinks something not so nice about the Imperial protocol that is making her stand up. If she liked standing up, she wouldn't have thought that.

    Ah, now I see what you meant: you just wanted to share how interesting bulkheads are.

    No, I'm not, and no, Jaina certainly is not. If that was over-reading, you were over-writing. Can you give me one other logical explanation I can't blast out of the water in five nanosecs?

    Jag can handle it; durasteel backs are indestructible. :p Okay, I'll stop.

    Jaina not involved? Then who is our hero or heroine? Is this an evil Zekk plot? Maybe Ben? [face_devil]
    No, that's just ridiculous. Jacen? Hmmm. Are you going to make a real villain out of Jacen? That would be cool.

    But he turns away again. And you wrote this was not a normal situation. You puzzle me. If this wasn't normal, but Jag did want to, then what was abnormal? :confused: I think it is Jag being willing to show affection, but being unable to do so?

    *snorts* Yeah, and my name is Ewok.

    Alkibiades
  23. Thrawn McEwok Co-Author: Essential Guide to Warfare

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    star 6
    In which version? Both? :eek:

    That doesn't prove anything! [face_laugh]

    *cough* Darth Bane: Path of Destruction *cough*

    Or, half the NJO and 'Legacy of the Force'.

    Or the Prequel movies? [face_laugh]

    I do agree that where they pull some character's survival through a dark storyline as a "positive" outcome, it's cheap and boring, though. Readers aren't simply character-driven. We also have beliefs beyond the individual.

    DelRey, LucasBooks, please note? [face_mischief]

    Stubbornness? :p

    I wanted to show how they can't fully communicate their feelings with each other? Dysfunctional doesn't mean empty - quite the opposite, in fact!

    If you want to define it as over-writing, then that's fair enough. I know what I was doing with the characters, and it's more complex and nuanced than you want. :p

    Easy as that. Obviously, your back ISN'T made of durasteel.

    Or you're trying to trick me. [face_thinking] :eek:

    Nahh. Been there, done that. :p

    What makes you think that it wasn't normal? [face_mischief]

    Sorry. It WAS just a random sniper! [face_laugh]

    - The Imperial Ewok
  24. Alkibiades Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 15, 2007
    star 2
    Don't know that one; sorry.

    No and no. Do you know I actually watched the prequel movies before the original trilogy? And that I really didn't know Palpatine would end up as Emperor, or Anakin as Vader? And still, at the end of movie three, I didn't think it was all dark; Yoda and Kenobi survived, and Amidala's kid survived too, and I just knew they'd be getting back at Palpatine. So, no, scratch those.

    (Although Palpatine is my most beloved character in the prequel trilogy. He is just... Great! Scheming, practical, manipulating everyone! =D= =D= =D= )

    So, Jag is dysfunctional. If that is what this is supposed to mean, then I wonder if there is anything Jaina does not need to nudge him into?

    Okay, fine. *Throws hands up* You're the author. You know. I'll be patient. Or at least, try to.

    No - I just don't want to nag you, and it has little to do with the story anyway - he is DEAD. Hey!

    Oh? Were?

    You said so, a few posts back.

    Ha! Another fact revealed. Good...

    Alkibiades
  25. Solo_and_Fel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 19, 2004
    star 3
    I'm leaning toward this one. But I'll still read whichever one you decide to continue.
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