JCC Ender Sigh rags on 'Murica

Bleh, Pickles.

 

I'm still trying to figure out what grits are

 

You eat them, they taste good, you don't question it. None may know the grit, for down that road lies madness.

 

so they're not gritty then ?

 

I WARNED YOU ABOUT QUESTIONING THE GRITS MAN

 

ok - food in buckets ? what the - ?

I mean who's idea was that ? can't have been Don Draper . Like what advertising exec said "I know what sounds appetising - food out of a bucket !" high 5's all round .

and it made its way across the Atlantic and they use it here too . staggering . Did they ever supersize it as a trough ?

 

I've never had grits but this sounds good actually, better than the sausage and bread thing and way better than the pizza with hot dog crust.

 

that's not a biscuit, Juliet. It's a scone.

What is wrong with you people?

"It's called a puff dog! We invented it."

No, it's a sausage roll, you utter spanners, and it's older than you are.

"It's a biscuit. We probably invented it."

It's... a ****ing scone.

Honestly, it's like when you let children combine foods. You're a nation of children. Stupid, red-headed children, who bully because of the thrill of it.

 

I ******' lost it lol that is so hilarious.

I'm crying.

 

Note that Ender wisely ignores the Lovecraftian nightmare that is the grits question. They say the recipe can only be understood in the dread speech of Ry'leth, and is found in a book held together with leather made of human flesh.

 

Oh I knew of grits beforehand. But the thing is, aside from a VERY select number of items - namely, it seems, NY pizza and whatever you do to bacon (when served correctly i.e. with eggs) - most of what you eat is just awful. The sorry effluence you call chocolate is just terrible. It's like you took dark chocolate and sucked the flavour and joy out of i. I just don't even know why you subject yourselves to it. Bread? Even at Eataly, a beautiful Italian foodcourt/food market down near the Flatiron building, the bread was only bread by sight. By taste, it was faintly sweet, like sugar is added. There's no newspaper big enough to be rolled up and used to bop your nose in admonishment. Burgers seem to be monuments to coronary heart disease. We shared a single steak between two because the rule of thumb on meat portion size basically only guarantees Andre the Giant, Popeye, the Incredible Hulk or Hellboy's right hand could call US steaks "one portion". And when it comes to bagels, the actual bagel is decent but I asked for salmon and cream cheese with my bagel; I didn't ask for a bagel with my cream cheese.

Everything you guys do, you do incorrectly, and it's quite tragic. You know the way you recoil in horror at everything Donald Trump does? Well. Donald Trump is the embodiment of you. You should now understand why we - I - react this way.

Also explain to me why, when I bought some melatonin (because if you don't know about this as a jetlag buster...) it came in GUMMI CHEWY VARIANTS?

 

hahahhahahahaha

I can't Ender. You're killing me here.

 

Also the yellow "melted cheese" you pour over frites by the litre? There's no excuse. Don't do that.

 

At least we didn't do what Japan did with it's burgers:

 

Japan has MOS burger, so your argument is invalid.

 

' the hell am I looking at ? is it covered in chocolate or something . or mashed beetles ?