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Before - Legends Enemies Among Us - Obi/Qui, pre-TPM - Thank-you So Much To My Readers - Completed 2/3

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Master_Noi, Nov 18, 2004.

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  1. Master_Noi

    Master_Noi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2004
    I have decided to combine the last chapters abd epilogue here. It is a great feeling to have comppleted this, but I am kind of sad it's over.

    ****
    Chapter 25

    ?I can assure you of their innocence,? Sitara said with disbelief evident in his voice.

    General Gera straightened his posture.

    ?I have witnesses; men under my command who saw the younger of the two Jedi fleeing the scene and then saw the Jedi master aiding in his escape.?

    ?There was an attempt on the First Minister?s life, which puts me in charge of the investigation,? Sitara countered defensively. ?A statement will be taken from each of them, but I am not releasing them into your custody,? Sitara stated with conviction.

    General Gera and the two men to each side of him made a move to push past Sitara and enter.

    ?You are not authorized to enter,? Sitara said, making eye contact with the armed guards nearest to him. ?I dohave the authority to arrest you if you come any further.?
    __

    Athan looked at Qui-Gon. The offer to talk was alluring, but making the words come out was entirely different. Never in his life had Athan been at a loss for something to say. The Jedi master continued to wait patiently.

    ?I think that now that it?s over, the shock is setting in. Two people I trusted more than anyone else, who had stood at my side for years, plotted to have me killed in order to destroy everything we worked for.?

    ?What will happen to them?? Qui-Gon asked.

    Athan ran his hands through his hair, exhaustion weighing heavily on his shoulders.

    ?They will be tried for treason; an offense punishable by death on our world. Of course, the first minister can pardon offenses, so that puts me in an awkward position.

    Athan shook his head.

    ?I couldn?t do it ? condemn her,? he said. ?Despite the fact she seems to want me dead with every fiber of her being.? He paused. ?I don?t know if you can understand that Master Jinn.?

    ?Love can be a very powerful, hard to understand emotion.?

    From the distant look that momentarily came over the Jedi master?s eyes, Athan could tell there was a story ? but not one to pursue.

    ?But I can?t dwell on that now. My first task is to find a new Chief Advisor; someone I can ? trust.?

    Trust. Qui-Gon?s thoughts drifted to yet another time ? a dark-haired young man with piercing blue eyes drawing his saber against his master.

    ?Betrayal hurts. It?s hard now, but I know that if you don?t move on it will destroy you.?

    Athan let out a pained chuckle.

    ?Oh, I intend to. I have a planet looking to me more than ever ? wanting me to tell them everything is okay.?

    Both men turned as they heard Sitara clear his throat. Athan at once noticed his friend?s frustration.

    ?Ineas, what?s wrong?? he said standing.

    ?We have a problem. General Gera came to the main gate to take Master Jinn and his apprentice into custody.?

    ?On what grounds??

    ?He wants to question them on their involvement in the assassination attempt.?

    ?It?s a matter of my security; not his concern,? Athan said bluntly.

    ?Doesn?t he technically have jurisdiction? The attack happened in the legislature building.?

    ?No, he doesn?t. All things concerning my security, regardless of location, fall under your jurisdiction. Any magistrate would agree,? Athan said.

    He looked down at his chronometer.

    ?Where is he??

    ?At the main gate.?

    ?Tell him that I will speak to him after I make my address. You are willing to share whatever statement you take from our Jedi guests, but they are guests and will remain at the residence.

    ?He?s not going to be happy with that.?

    ?I didn?t say he was going to be,? Athan returned. ?I?ll meet you in the briefing room by my office.?

    Qui-Gon watched both men leave and then returned to his chair in Obi-Wan?s room. The young man was still sleeping peacefully, so he walked softly so he didn?t disturb him. He didn?t envy the task Athan Marinou had ahead of him, but knew he was capable of it. He soon fell back to sleep. He was awakend again by a jolt of alarm
     
  2. maychorian

    maychorian Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2005
    Yay! That was a very good ending. Loose ends, but that's all to the good. Are you planning something? No, don't tell us . . . I'm sure we'll find out eventually.
     
  3. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003
    .

    Qui-Gon returned to his room, settling back under his blankets. He closed his eyes and immediately felt the warm embrace of sleep as his body relaxed. Suddenly opening his eyes, he sprang up from the bed and made his way to the corner table. He fumbled through his robe and utility belt, pulling out his comlink. Pressing on the button that would deactivate the device, he smiled in satisfaction. If the council needed them, Mace would have to break the door down.



    [face_laugh][face_laugh]

    That was so purely Qui-Gon :D Awwwww man it's over :( Well I guess we have more fics of yours to look forward to with that ending! Great job! =D==D=
     
  4. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Yay! Great ending!! [face_dancing] Ahhh so sweet Qui with Obi!

    :( Sad to see that his wife and the other guy escaped. Hopefuly things will straighten out.

    Awesome job! =D= :)
     
  5. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    Ch. 23 - Ahhh, they're finally reunited!! Yay, relief.

    Ch. 24 - ?Unlike Master Jinn, I can not sense danger. My only warning is when you fall over wounded or dead.? -- Excellent line! Aww, poor Athan. That's a man with great compassion.

    ch. 25 - Athan had worked so hard and now the treaty is still delayed... seems sad.

    Epilogue- Somewhere along the way, he had gotten out of the habit of checking on his apprentice before going to bed, but tonight he needed the reassurance that actually seeing the young man would give. Awww, just the right amount of mush to end with.
    Thanks for sharing this with us Noi, it was delightful! :) :)
     
  6. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2002
    It can't be over! :eek: Very nice story Noi and I agree about the ending. :)
     
  7. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    Great story with a very sweet ending. You need to write more fics!
     
  8. The_Hutt

    The_Hutt Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2004
    Way to go, Athan and Sitara! Shoot that lame accusation outta the sky. I feel badly for Athan- he lost the two people who were holding his frantic life together. What a lonely existance he'll have to lead! I'm sorry to see this fic come to an end, it was engaging and well-written. Is there any hope for a sequel? I highly recommend it!
     
  9. Jedikma

    Jedikma Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Wow!! Can't believe it's over! Congratulations on finishing your first fic!!!

    =D= =D=

    And well done, too.

    So Macres and Phedra escaped. :mad:

    And poor Athan still doesn't have the peace resolution. [face_frustrated]

    But Obi-Wan is home safe once again. :)
     
  10. tangled_sphere

    tangled_sphere Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 28, 2003
    Excellent ending Noi! Poor Athan, betrayed and having to delay his plans, but...alive! I like the part where Qui remembers Xan and can relate to his pain.

    Great ending with Qui leaping up to turn off the comlink! :D I can sooo relate AND he deserves the rest.

    Congrats on finishing your story! =D=
     
  11. Master_Noi

    Master_Noi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2004
    maychorian - Thanks for reading! Okay, I won't tell you if I have anything planned. :p

    Layren - Thanks for hanging in there with this and being such a wealth of advice.

    Kynstar - I do feel a little bad about leaving Athan's life in shambles, but it was just a bad situation all around. If I do follow this up, I will have to bring a little happiness into his life.

    Healer_Leona - Thanks for reading and always giving such thoughtful comments. Glad you liked the little bit of mush at the end.

    o_e - Yes, it's kind of sad it's over. Thanks for hanging in there with this.

    Kitara - Thanks :) I plan to write more.

    The_Hutt - There is hope for a sequel. I haven't thought up a plot yet, but there's hope. I had way too much fun with these characters, and like I said above - Athan needs a chance for a little happiness.

    Jedikma - I knew you wouldn't like that Phedra escaped, but you know she had to have a back-up plan. Sadly, I couldn't bring myself to leave my creation locked up. 8-} Thanks for all the support!

    t_s - I would hope the guys could have a little rest, but with the group of authors on this board, not likely. :p Thanks for reading.

     
  12. Princess_Arulmozhi

    Princess_Arulmozhi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 16, 2004
    Great work, Master Noi. Enjoyed it all the way through (as you doubtless know, by now). There is a sequel??!! Wow. Soon, please :D

     
  13. Master_Noi

    Master_Noi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2004
    P_A

    Thanks for all your enthusiastic support.:D

    For clarification, I am open to a sequesl, but have not plot ideas right now, so it may be a while.
     
  14. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2002
    Yay, I finally got a chance to read this. :D

    ?When you have him figured out, be sure to contact the Jedi Council. Twelve of the wisest beings in the galaxy have been trying to understand him since he was a child. I?m sure they would be interested in your insights.? Obi-Wan said mockingly.

    Ha! I think that's the best line in the whole story. [face_laugh]

    ?Unlike Master Jinn, I can not sense danger. My only warning is when you fall over wounded or dead.?

    I really liked this one, too, for some reason. I guess because though Sitara came off as almost a bad guy at first, he really proved his loyalty. And though he doesn't have the Force, he's just as noble as the Jedi. :)

    I even liked Phedra for a few posts. Then I found out what she's really like. :p

    And the most shocking thing of all - I liked Jinn in this story. :eek: What's going on here?! [face_worried] Really nice portrayal - he loves Obi-Wan like a son, and yet Obi-Wan is also a Jedi. That line about asking him to do what no father would ever ask a son to do nailed their relationship perfectly, I thought. :)

    Oh, and I can't forget those very nice images of Sweaty Obi and Shower Obi. [face_batting]

    edit: Almost forgot - the treaty being delayed was a nice touch. Seemed more realistic somehow.
     
  15. China_Doll

    China_Doll Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Sep 29, 2004
    Jade

    Thank you so much for reading and leaving such a great post. :)

    Those were some of my favorite lines in writing this also. I had a lot of fun writing Phedra - actually she kind of took off on her own.

    You liked Jinn. :eek: Writing this did make me think a lot about the master - padawan relationship.

     
  16. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    Read it all at once tonight, and whoa, Noi. :eek: There really aren't words. So tense, so emotional, and so very entertaining. =D= Congratulations.
     
  17. Jedi_Tigris

    Jedi_Tigris Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 7, 2005
    Great story, Noi! =D= I love how Qui-Gon struggled with his situation, wonderful job showing it. I really like the minister. :) If you ever write a sequel, I'd love to read it!
     
  18. Master_Noi

    Master_Noi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2004
    LuvEwan

    Wow, I was shocked to see this. It's so fun when someone pulls up an old fic.

    Read it all at once tonight, and whoa, Noi. There really aren't words. So tense, so emotional, and so very entertaining. Congratulations.

    I am glad you enjoyed it. I certainly enjoyed putting Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, and of course, our dear Athan through the ringer. :p

    Jedi_Tigris

    Great story, Noi! I love how Qui-Gon struggled with his situation, wonderful job showing it. I really like the minister. If you ever write a sequel, I'd love to read it!

    I really enjoyed exploring the master, padawan relationship with this and putting Qui-Gon in a position where he was ultimately going to have to leave Obi-Wan on his own. I'm glad you liked Athan. He was a fun character to write, as were all the OCs for this.



     
  19. Fluff-Slayer

    Fluff-Slayer Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jun 12, 2005
    Please don't be annoyed with me, friend... I'm afraid I must "up" this, because I have to comment or else I'll just...die. Meep!

    Um...wow. You know, I've read this whole thing today (if you count 2:30 a.m. as "today"), and... I had so many comments... but I've lost them! Oooh nooooo!!!! [face_worried] I'm sorry! Guess I'll just have to be general...

    Your writing is fantabulous. Great description, fantastic dialogue--and your last line! HAH! Can't you just picture the mean old Council knocking their door down? Hah... the angst and drama and adventure and action and fluff and--and--and the wonderful, undeniable humor of it all kept me captivated and laughing. For some reason, I'm really in love with Sitara. Very original OCs! Very marvelous! Splendid! Great! Thanks for posting this (and sorry I'm so late reading it!)

    Happy 4th! =D=
     
  20. Master_Noi

    Master_Noi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2004
    I'm so excited that people are getting to go back and enjoy this. [face_dancing]

    Hah... the angst and drama and adventure and action and fluff and--and--and the wonderful, undeniable humor of it all kept me captivated and laughing.

    Yeah, I guess I have this twisted enjoyment of weaving humor in with the angst and all. Glad you liked it.

    For some reason, I'm really in love with Sitara.

    He's a good guy. :)
     
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