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Episode 2:Attack of the Bawbags

Discussion in 'Scotland' started by Obi_wan_Kenowlesy, Aug 19, 2005.

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  1. Obi_wan_Kenowlesy

    Obi_wan_Kenowlesy Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jul 23, 2005
    Pure Ages ago in a galaxy oot past carbeth.

    The Leader of the nedrons Amidala is comin into the schemey high rise flats,They r all gettin aff when som1 blows up there shaggin waggon.

    Shagme comes rushing fae the mini.

    The Fake gadge"Sorry senator radge av failed.....ya".She drops down dead.


    Capatin Tyson"Mon hurry we can still get blootered here.........Senator ya bawbag hurry".

    Most of the Nedi council r there up in the Head of The CYS room.

    Jimmy"A dinae ken how much longer we can hold aff the vote my pals more n more parts of scotland are becoming goths".

    Mikey-Windu"If they dae break away".

    Jimmy"I will nae let the CYS which has stood for a couple of years split intae two my talks will nae fail".

    Mikey"If they dae u must realise that ther is nae enough nedis tae protect the CYS we're disturbers of the peace not soldiers".

    Jimmy"Wee Yodad..dae u realy think it will come tae war".

    Yodad"The Black Cloud over the goths hides pure everything impossilbe tae smell the future is".

    Jimmy"We will discuss this later man here comes amidala".

    Amidala walks in the room with all her security

    Yodad"Senator Amidala your tragedy in the car park terrible seeing you alive brings warm feelings to my arse".

    Shagme"Dae ya ken who did this man".

    Mikey"Our intelligence tells us that it wis Sweaties fae the outskirts aff Ayr".

    Shagme"Naw a hink Count my Pubes was behind it".

    Kai"He is a rebel not a murderer".

    Mikey"You ken Sexy that Count my Pubes was once a Nedi he could nae kill anyone without lettin 1 rip or chibbing them".

    Jimmy"Master Nedi can i suggest u put these ppl under the protection aff ur mates".

    Balls Orgasm"Do u hink that is a good idea under these times".

    Jimmy"A ken that more help might be a wee bit nippy but perhaps an old friend like master mcnulty".

    Mcnulty and Sheepshagger start coming up the wee lift to the top aff the scheme.

    Mcnulty"You seem tae be ****ing yerselve".

    Sheepshagger"Nah nae way".

    Mcnulty"A hav nae smelt u this bad since we fell into that hole hing".

    Sheepshagger"I have nae seen her in 10 years man".

    Sheepshagger"5 seconds tae a see her 4 seconds tae a see her 3 seconds tae a see her 2 seconds tae a see her 1 second tae a see her".

    The Lift gets stuck.

    Sheepshagger"Ya bastert".

    Mcnulty"99999 seconds tae ya see her 99998 seconds tae ya see her".

    They get aff the lift Ten minutes later.They see Shagme and captain Tyson.

    Mcnulty"Its a Smashing tae see you again sexy".

    Shagme"It has been far to long Mcnulty........Sheepshagger is that you wow uv grown".

    Sheepshagger"Aye you better belive it".

    Shagme"Ul always be tht wee lad fae falkirk".

    They all sit down.

    Shagme"Whos going tae kill me".

    Mcnulty"Dunno we are just here tae help ya not tae find oot whos goin to kill ya".

    Sheepshagger"We may not know who is goin tae kill ya but we know whos going tae drill ya".


    Sheepshagger"A ment tht in the interest of protecting her master ofcourse".

    Shagme"We will find oot later now al go".

    She walks oot with tyson

    Jar jar stinks"Its good tae see you again Sheep boy".

    Sheepshagger"She did nae even recognise me Jar Jar Av wanked with her image in my heed every day since av known her and she has forgot me completly".

    Jar Jar"Shes Sexy sexy than I hav seen her in a long long time".

    Mcnulty"Yer no seein the bright side lad she was happy tae see us".

    The Night comes roond n Sheepshagger n Mcnulty get ready tae watch shagme for the night.

    Mcnulty"Why are the cameras aff".

    Sheepshagger"She covered them she does nae want us tae see her poking herself".

    Mcnulty"Wit was she on aboot".

    Sheepshagger"Shes got Him 2 In there tae shout Aye if anything does go wrong".

    In the windae right that minute som1 puts two wee venamous bugs through the windae.

    Mcnulty"You look quite tired".

    Sheepshagger"A dinae sleep well coz o my ma a keep dreaming of her ad much rather have a wet dream about shagme".

    Mcnutly"Shes a Senator shes no tae be trusted".

  2. rebeljediknight_88

    rebeljediknight_88 Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 15, 2005
    i couldnt be bothered to read that. can somebody give me a short version please
  3. Obi_wan_Kenowlesy

    Obi_wan_Kenowlesy Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jul 23, 2005
    naw read it ya bawbag is nae funny unless ya dae
  4. Cobar_Yik_Jedi

    Cobar_Yik_Jedi Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jun 9, 2005
    again Obi_wan ur to funny man. whos the Lazzy bawbag? not strong in the force he is, master Luke would be ashamed if he was at the academy on Yavn
  5. veritasuk

    veritasuk Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 8, 2004
    More! I want more! LM*AO.
  6. Failed_I_Have

    Failed_I_Have Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jun 23, 2005
    aye obi wan we want mare...oh aye...u canny be bothered writen mare
  7. Obi_wan_Kenowlesy

    Obi_wan_Kenowlesy Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jul 23, 2005
    am writing more right now am just not putting it on untill it is finished
  8. veritasuk

    veritasuk Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 8, 2004

    I'll just wait patiently then ....
  9. Cobranaconda

    Cobranaconda Jedi Master star 7

    Mar 3, 2004
    To tide you over: [link=]Ra Polis Strike Back[/link]
  10. Obi_wan_Kenowlesy

    Obi_wan_Kenowlesy Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jul 23, 2005
    Right heres some more for just now to satisfy your needs.

    Mcnulty gets on his jeep and drives aff tae kircaldy.He parks outside a wee factory.

    He walks in.A big huge basterd comes tae greet him

    Mcnulty"hohoho orite".

    Long necked freak"Master ned we huv been expecting you after all these hours we were thinking u wer nae goin tae come here".

    Mcnulty"Aye well u know how busy the traffic is at rush hour".

    He takes um through tae meet the Leader guy.

    Long necked freak"This is Lam and soup we call um that becuase his heed looks like a lamb in a soup bowl".

    Lam"Naw it does nae,they call em that becuase I created dolly the sheep the wee clown ya know".

    Mcnulty"A clown".

    Lam"A exact copy aff another hing a could make a billion clowns out of u right now,but al naw dae that".

    Mcnulty"A found a funny wee bulet my pal says yer wee factory made it".

    Lam"Stick yer bulet up yer arse for the time being and come and look at the Clown Army we bulit for yous".

    They walk over tae the main bit aff the factory and see millions aff funny looking men.

    Lam"This army is for the CYS,you Neds need all the help yous can get right now espescialy since yous managed tae beat the polis.

    Mcnulty"Naw its mare complicated now eh...The Goths are like the polis now we are fighting them and there is still a couple of Smelly ****ers out there the DCI's have nae gonae away yet".

    Lam"Ah well this army should help yous then".

    Mcnulty"How did yous do this".

    Lam"Have u ever seen that film jurassic park".

    Mcnulty"You bloody basterd,You are gonae kill us all with your bloody ideas a want tae be killed in a car accident a dinae want tae be eaten by a 30 foot beast".

    Big neck freak"Al show ya the person we clowned if ya want a bounty eater called Jangly Feet".

    Mcnulty"Is he a Plant eater".

    Big neck freak"Naw ya tube he is a bounty eater now please come this way".

    Sheepshagger and shagme go up the wee steps ontae the balcony aff the ***** hole that is niddrie.

    Shagme"Look over there its my old local The Huntsman,A hud a few good times there got a few 1 night stands anaw".

    Sheepshagger"A dinae realy drink,someone pished in mines once when a was back hame...................But naw here here everything is much worse they spike it so that you get pumped by some nice looking lassie its the dogs balls man".

    Shagme starts to look at sheepshagger,they both stare at each other.They get off wae 1 an other, then sheepshagger spits into shagme's mouth.

    Shagme"Awww....a should nae aff done that a think".

    Sheepshagger"Am sorry".

    Mcnulty meanwhile hus just climbed up 8 flights aff stairs.

    Mcnulty"Oh Jeeeso wats wae all the bloody stairs".

    Big neck"We have a mental hospital up on the top floor we have about 13 more flights,the insane basterds think they can fly so we have tae huv a 21 floor buliding tae let them fly when they want".

    Mcnulty"all right fair doos a guess".

    They come tae a door.Mcnulty rings the bell then runs away.

    Big neck"Wat ya daein".

    Mcnulty"Tap door run its pure quality man a hold the record in the CYS its nearly like a scheme sport there".

    A wee lad answers the door.

    Big Neck"Bobbo is yer da here".

    Bobbo"Aye,Da Hingy is here".

    Lam"Jangly was yer trip in yer caravan succesful".

    Jangly"Sort aff we got a flat tyre so it never went very far".

    Mcnulty"Did ya go as far as the CYS".

    Jangly"How am a ment tae know a was pished drink driving if u will".

    Mcnulty"O well u must know master Diaz then".


    Mcnulty"Diaz hes a pish stained ransed tramp he gets pished mare times than america win golds at the olympics".

    Jangly"Naw a get my drink fae a man called tyranasaurus in a wee place called bathgate".

    Mcnulty"A knew it was tae dae with these extinct basterds,am gonae get my chib out and kill all yer dinosaur pricks before they destroy me".

    He walks out.

    Meanwhile sheepshagger has just woke up after a long night aff party and drink...Shagme aproaches him fae behind.She turns back.

    Sheepshagger"Dinae go".

  11. veritasuk

    veritasuk Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 8, 2004
    Is he a plant eater? that line made me PIMP.
  12. Obi_wan_Kenowlesy

    Obi_wan_Kenowlesy Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jul 23, 2005
    Mcnulty contacts the CYS.

    Mcnulty"The wee arsehholes down here are making an army af clowns for us tae fight the neds".

    Mikey"Are they balls we would aff heard aboot it".

    Yodad"Who is the wee basterd that asked for this".

    Mcnulty"They said Diaz placed an order in,but the bounty eater guy says he was recruited by some random dinosaur".

    Yodad"Bring um here and ask um ourselves we will".

    Mikey"Dae u think we should tell the rest aff the CYS that we cany see what the goths are up tae".

    Yodad"Naw if we tell the senate then mare wee basterds aff enemies we will huv".

    Mcnulty arives in Galashiels after following the Bounty eater Jangly feet.

    He loses them,in galashiels he notices alot of black hot air balloons.He Parks doon passed a wee hill.

    He gets oot aff his Mobile and goes intae a big basterd hut.

    Count my pubes"We must get the goths and the polis tae join forces".

    Constable"What aboot the wee smell fae Niddrie is she deed am naw signing nout untill a have her hole on my desk".

    Falla"We these new Gothic Pornstars we made we will huv the greatest crew in scotland".

    Sheepshagger and Shagme arrive in Falkirk he heeds straight out tae see Fatto.

    Fatto"What are ya daein".

    Sheepshagger"Orite Fatto".

    Fatto"Wait ur ur a Nedi......What ever ya want a did nae dae it".

    Sheepshagger"Am looking for Shimi Sheepshagger".

    Fatto"Sheepshagger is it you".

    Sheepshagger then picked up a can o Tennants and Drank it in a oner.

    Fatto"You are sheepshagger it is you".

    Sheepshagger"Aye aye very good now where in the name of balls is my maw".

    Fatto"She left did she naw she went out tae live in a wee place dinae quite mind what its called".

    Sheepshagger"Tell me now ya mad rocket or al stick this can of lager so far up yer arse every time u go for a dump all the junkies will come and drink out yer arse".

    Fatto"Aye nae bother lets go look shall we naw".

    They go out and find his mothers new house.

    Shagme"Look man theres yer old jake".

    Sheepshagger"Aye man quality ceen nout how ya daein".

    Ceen nout"Aye no bad guys,am needing a pish am a bit hungry but part fae that am all right".

    Sheepshagger"Is my ma here".

    Ceen nout"A dinae know have nae seen her in a wee while,she has been gone since last night but she usually turns up pished".

    Sheepshagger goes intae the house.

    Ceen nout"Here Owen we have to great people here right now get yer cans out".

    Owen"Orite the cans in a min,Hello mr sheepshagger and miss em".

    Shagme"Am Amidala but men call me shagme".

    Owen"Am owen,this is my burd,Yazu".


    Sheepshagger"Is my mo here".

    Lars"Naw she is clieg lars shimi is my wifey".

    Owen"We went out looking for her this morning she went out last night like she always did to get drink for the fammily,she has nae tunred up a dinae want to lose her but shes been gone a few hours a dinae think we can get her back".

    Sheepshagger walks out the room.

    Sheepshagger"Am gonae go n get my ma right".

    Lars"Shes deed son face it".

    Sheepshagger goes out and gets on lars scooter and starts driving doon tae the local strip club...........................................................He arrives at a club.He find his maw in the first off a series of rooms above the club.He see's her lying down on the ground covered in bloody.

    Sheepshagger"Maw what the hell happened tae you".

    Shimi" your a big sexy laddy now about tae become deed".

    Sheepshagger"Stay with me ma,please".

    Shimi" love".

    She drops down deed on the ground.Sheepshagger takes a fit,he takes his mothers body out off the buliding and then gets out a lighter from his ma's pocket,He gets into a near by car and drives through the building with it he then takes the lighter goes into the car and lights the seats on the fire.He goes out and while going out he notices a can of irn bru.

    Sheepshagger"Oh naw for **** sake".

    He rushes back into the car and takes the irn bru.

  13. MrDankDonk

    MrDankDonk Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 28, 2001
    not going to comment on content, that's yir own business.

    but a spot of genuine presentation advice ? split it into paragraphs, make it clear where yir changing scene, and maybe post it in smaller chunks, and I guarantee more people will read it.
  14. Failed_I_Have

    Failed_I_Have Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jun 23, 2005
    I agree with Dank Donk. Kenowlesy let me edit it 4 u!!!!!!
  15. Obi_wan_Kenowlesy

    Obi_wan_Kenowlesy Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jul 23, 2005
    Nae point its just a wee jakey thing its just getting typed paragraphs and other things are not being considered
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