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Saga "Episode 3.2," screenplay rewrite strengthening Padmé's role, updated w/add'l work on Anakin

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by samrosenbaum, Mar 11, 2006.

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  1. samrosenbaum

    samrosenbaum Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2005
    It's evolving.

    Like the "Episode 3.1" screenplay rewrite I posted last fall, this version is not a parody, but rather a serious attempt to enhance the story's character development.

    "3.1" was especially concerned with strengthening the role of Padmé Amidala who, except for one powerful scene, was, I feel, not given her due in ROTS. It also put Obi-Wan through a rougher time, both emotionally and physically, to bring out more of his character. Anakin was left mostly as is, except for his having to react to the changes in the other characters.

    Discussions since then, about the way Anakin turns to the Dark Side in the middle of ROTS seeming very sudden even though it really isn't, and about his being, as one fan put it, a "bulkhead," led me to go back to the rewrite and do some serious work on him. So, in "3.2" I've made Anakin smarter and more aware of things, yet wrongheaded in ways which make him vulnerable to Palpatine's manipulations.

    I've taken a fan's suggestion to extend the Count Dooku scene. I've also done some patchwork on General Grievous, getting rid of his crudest lines to make him a more honorable adversary for Obi-Wan. (That is, until the end of their fight. I couldn't resist giving Obi-Wan a "so uncivilized" surprise in in this version.)

    Like in "3.1," all of this is done in a way that, at least in the major areas, preserves the timeline for the Original Trilogy.

    I'll be posting the text of the rewrite in large sections below. Please note that, apart from what's added to the Count Dooku scene, it isn't until the characters are back on Coruscant that you'll start to see major differences from what is in the movie.
     
  2. samrosenbaum

    samrosenbaum Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2005

    STAR WARS EPISODE 3.2


    REVENGE OF THE SITH REVISITED



    An Unofficial Rewrite of the

    Screenplay by George Lucas



    Previously Published and/or Produced

    Material by George Lucas



    New and Replacement Material

    by Sam Rosenbaum

    Based on Characters and Story Settings

    Created by George Lucas



    Updated
    July 18, 2006
    samrosenbaum@cox.net



    FADE IN:

    A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

    EXT. SPACE

    A vast sea of stars serves as the backdrop for the Main Title, followed by a rollup, which crawls into infinity.

    War! The Republic is crumbling under attacks by the ruthless Sith Lord, Count Dooku. There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere.

    In a stunning move, the fiendish Droid leader, General Grievous, has swept into the Republic capital and kidnapped Chancellor Palpatine, leader of the Galactic Senate.

    As the Separatist Droid Army attempts to flee the besieged capital with their valuable hostage, two Jedi Knights lead a desperate mission to rescue the captive Chancellor . . .

    PAN DOWN to reveal a Republic Attack Cruiser. Continue to PAN with the Cruiser, as two Jedi Starfighters enter and head toward an enemy Battle Cruiser. TRUCK with the Jedi fighters, as they maneuver in unison, dodging flack and enemy LASER FIRE. R2-D2 is on Anakin's ship. R4-P17 is on Obi-Wan's ship. A giant space battle is revealed as the tiny Jedi ships continue their assault in a synchronous ballet.

    INT. OBI-WAN'S STARFIGHTER COCKPIT - SPACE

    OBI-WAN KENOBI, now in his late 30?s with a longer beard, bounces through the flack with a frown. His ship ROCKS violently.

    INT. ANAKIN?S STARFIGHTER COCKPIT - SPACE

    ANAKIN SKYWALKER, now in his 20?s with longer, curly hair, smiles, as he BLASTS a Trade Federation Droid drop fighter.

    ANAKIN
    There isn't a Droid made that can out fly you, Master, and no other way to get to the Chancellor.

    OBI-WAN
    Look out, four Droids inbound.

    EXT. CORUSCANT - SPACE BATTLE

    The two Jedi fighters swerve in unison as four Trade Federation Droid drop fighters attack. After several clever moves by the Jedi, two of the Federation Droid drop fighters collide with each other in a ball of flame.

    INTERCUT ? INT. OBI-WAN'S AND ANAKIN?S STARFIGTHER COCKPITS, EXT. STARFIGHTERS, AND EXT. SPACE BATTLE

    Obi-Wan struggles to maintain control of his ship.

    OBI-WAN
    We've got to split them up.

    ANAKIN
    Break left, fly through the guns on that tower.

    Obi-Wan flies to the left of a huge tower on a Republic Cruiser. The two Droid drop fighters follow.

    OBI-WAN
    Easy for you to say . . . why am I always the bait?

    ANAKIN
    Don't worry. I'm coming around behind you.

    Obi-Wan deftly maneuvers around a large starship's superstructure, but the two Droid fighters stay on his tail, BLASTING him with intense laser fire.

    OBI-WAN
    Anakin, they're all over me!

    ANAKIN
    Dead ahead! Closing . . . lock onto him, Artoo.

    R2 BEEPS his reply, as Anakin swoops in for the kill.
    Anakin BLASTS one of the Droid drop fighters. It EXPLODES.

    ANAKIN (cont?d)
    (laughs)
    We got him, Artoo!

    Anakin BLASTS away at the second Droid drop fighter, as R2 BEEPS an angry warning.

    ANAKIN
    I copy, Artoo.

    OBI-WAN
    I'm going down on the deck.

    ANAKIN
    Good idea . . . I need some room to maneuver.

    Obi-Wan dives toward the surface of one of the larger Trade Federation Battleships and is forced to fly through a maelstrom of laser flack. He skims the surface, followed by the Droid drop fighter, which is followed by Anakin.

    ANAKIN (cont?d)
    Cut right. Do you hear me?! Cut right. Don't let him get a handle on you. Come on, Artoo, lock on! Lock on!

    R2 BEEPS. The crosshairs merge on the Droid drop fighter.

    OBI-WAN
    Hurry up! I don't like this!

    Obi-Wan flies through a narrow gap between two towers on a battleship. The Droid drop fighter hits one of Obi-Wan's wings with a laser blast, and parts of the ship go flying around Obi-Wan's Astro Droid, R4.

    OBI-WAN (cont?d)
    Ouch!

    R4 BEEPS a blue streak.

    OBI-WAN (cont?d)
    Don
     
  3. samrosenbaum

    samrosenbaum Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2005
    INT. BRIDGE ? SAME TIME

    GENERAL GRIEVOUS
    Prepare for attack.

    PILOT
    All batteries fire! Fire!

    INT. REPUBLIC CRUISER ? BATTLESTATIONS ? SAME TIME

    CLONE GUNNERS FIRE on the Trade Federation Cruiser and take FIRE in return. Gun emplacements are destroyed. Clone troopers go flying.

    INT. TRADE FEDERATION CRUISER - GENERAL'S QUARTERS ? SAME TIME

    Anakin carries Obi-Wan to the elevator doors and hits the button. Palpatine joins him.

    ANAKIN
    The elevator's not working.
    (into his comlink)
    Artoo . . .

    R2 BEEPS a response over the comlink.

    ANAKIN (cont?d)
    Activate Elevator 3224.

    INSERT - EXT. BATTLE ? SPACE

    A beam from the Republic Cruiser penetrates the Trade Federation Cruiser?s lower hull, causing an EXPLOSION.

    BACK TO SCENE

    Suddenly the ship shifts to its side, as the elevator doors open. Palpatine is thrown to the floor. Anakin jumps to the door frame and looks into the elevator shaft.

    ANAKIN
    Artoo, do you copy? Artoo, come in!

    INT. MAIN HANGAR ? SAME TIME

    As the ship rolls, spacecraft and equipment CRASH from one side of the ship to the other. Several objects BREAK THROUGH the metal blast doors, causing objects to be SUCKED into space. R2 starts to slide toward one of the small holes.

    INT. GENERAL'S QUARTERS ? SAME TIME

    As the elevator shaft rotates, it has become a long hallway. Anakin clings to the doorframe with Obi-Wan on his shoulder, as the Chancellor struggles to join him.

    INT. MAIN HANGAR ? SAME TIME

    R2 continues to skid and slide toward open space. He BEEPS, as he dodges the LASER BLASTS of the Battle Droids. One BOLT hits very near him, and he SCREAMS in terror. One of the Battle Droids stumbles and is consumed by the electronic shield in a ZAP.

    R2 is about to be overtaken by a Starfighter sliding behind him. He falls into a heap of broken Battle Droid parts, and the fighter BOUNCES over him.

    EXT. SPACE ? CORUSCANT ? SAME TIME

    The Trade Federation Cruiser heads straight down toward the planet.

    INT. TRADE FEDERATION CRUISER ? GENERAL?S QUARTERS ? SAME TIME

    Anakin jumps into the horizontal elevator shaft with Obi-Wan still on his shoulder.

    ANAKIN
    We can't wait. Come on, we have to be fast.

    Palpatine climbs into the elevator shaft also.

    INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT ON SIDE

    They start running. The ship begins to roll again, and the Jedi and the Chancellor are forced to jump from one side of the elevator to the other.

    INT. BRIDGE ? SAME TIME

    GENERAL GRIEVOUS
    Fire the emergency booster engines.

    PILOT
    Leveling out, sir.

    INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT ON SIDE ? SAME TIME

    Anakin, still carrying Obi-Wan on his back, and Palpatine run down the elevator shaft, as it starts to move upright. Anakin cuts a control box on one of the doors, but before the doors can open, the ship moves to an angle, causing him and Palpatine to start sliding down the shaft. Anakin grabs some wires in the control box with one hand. Palpatine grabs onto the Jedi's leg. As the ship rights itself, they are left hanging in the bottomless elevator shaft.

    Obi-Wan regains consciousness and tries to look around.

    ANAKIN
    Easy . . . We're in a bit of a situation.

    OBI-WAN
    Did I miss something?

    He looks down and sees Palpatine and the bottomless pit. They hear R2 BEEPING on Obi-Wan's comlink. The ship begins to roll, causing the now vertical shaft to move into a forty-five-degree angle. They hear the ELEVATOR BRAKES RELEASE and look up to see the elevator heading toward them.

    ANAKIN
    Hold on.

    OBI-WAN
    What is that?

    Obi-Wan and Anakin look up to see the elevator approach at high speed, then Obi-Wan turns to Anakin.

    OBI-WAN (cont?d)
    Oops.

    ANAKIN
    (to comlink)
    Artoo, Artoo, shut down the elevator!

    OBI-WAN
    Too late! Jump!

    They fall about three hundred feet before the tilt of the ship catches up with them, and they hit the side of the shaft and slide at great speed just ahead of the elevator. The shaft continues to rotate until it is completely horizontal. Anakin and Obi-Wan take out and throw grappling hooks. Th
     
  4. samrosenbaum

    samrosenbaum Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2005
    EXT. SENATE OFFICE BUILDING - LANDING PLATFORM - LATE AFTERNOON

    The Jedi shuttle touches down on the landing platform just outside the massive office building?s high-altitude main entrance.

    There are a DOZEN SENATORS waiting, including BAIL ORGANA, 40?s, strong build, polite. C-3PO is also there. Palpatine, R2-D2, and Anakin emerge from the shuttle. Obi-Wan stays in the shuttle doorway.

    ANAKIN
    (to Obi-Wan)
    Are you coming, Master?

    OBI-WAN
    Oh no. I'm not brave enough for politics. I have to report to the Council. Besides, someone needs to be the poster boy.

    ANAKIN
    Hold on, this whole operation was your idea. You?re the one who planned it. You?re the one who reports to the Senate on missions like this. You have to be the one to take the bows this time.

    OBI-WAN
    Sorry, old friend. Let?s not forget that you killed Count Dooku, rescued the Chancellor, rescued me twice, and managed to land that bucket of bolts safely.

    ANAKIN
    All because of your training, Master. You deserve all those speeches of your greatness.

    OBI-WAN
    The endless speeches . . . Anakin, let's be fair. Today, you are the hero, and you deserve your glorious day with the politicians.

    ANAKIN
    All right . . .
    (smiles)
    but you owe me.

    He leaves to join the others.

    The Chancellor and the entourage of Senators (minus Bail Organa) that has formed around him approach MACE WINDU. Mace is still bald, tough and no-nonsense.

    MACE
    Chancellor Palpatine, are you well? Do you need medical attention?

    PALPATINE
    I am well, thanks to your two Jedi Knights. They killed Count Dooku, but General Grievous has escaped once again.

    MACE
    General Grievous will run and hide as he always does. He is a coward.

    PALPATINE
    That may be true, but with Count Dooku dead, he is the leader of the Droid Army, and I assure you, the Senate will vote to continue the war as long as Grievous is alive.

    MACE
    Then the Jedi Council will make finding Grievous our highest priority.

    Bail walks with Anakin, as the crowd exits the platform and moves toward the Grand Hallway.

    There to greet them is PADMÉ AMIDALA, now approaching 30 and more mature, having toned down the extravagant fashion somewhat.

    PADMÉ
    (smiles)
    Anakin Skywalker, the Republic cannot praise you enough.

    Anakin, Padmé and Bail enter the hallway.

    ANAKIN
    Thank you, My Lady. The kidnapping was a bold move by the Separatists, but it was a mistake that Obi-Wan and I were able to take advantage of.

    R2-D2 and C-3PO follow behind the crowd.

    C-3PO
    It couldn't possibly be as bad as all that.

    R2 BEEPS.

    C-3PO (cont?d)
    Well, there, I agree with you. In fact, I could do with a tune-up myself.

    INT. SENATE OFFICE BUILDING - MAIN HALLWAY ? SAME TIME

    Anakin is at the back of the crowd of Senators, talking with Bail. Padmé has joined another conversation. R2-D2 and C-3PO scoot along ahead of them.

    BAIL
    The end of Count Dooku will surely bring an end to this war, and an end to the Chancellor's draconian security measures.

    ANAKIN
    I wish that were so, but the fighting is going to continue until General Grievous is spare parts. The Chancellor is very clear about that.

    BAIL
    I'll speak to Senator Amidala, and we?ll do everything we can.

    Anakin looks to see that, with the crowd having moved on, Padmé has disappeared.

    ANAKIN
    Excuse me.

    BAIL
    Certainly.

    Anakin stops, and Bail goes off after Palpatine and the others. Anakin goes behind one of the giant columns to meet up with Padmé. They embrace and kiss.

    PADMÉ
    I wanted to say thank goodness you?re back safe, and how worried I was, but that wouldn?t have been formal.

    ANAKIN
    I missed you, Padmé. It feels like we've been apart for a lifetime.

    PADMÉ
    I know.

    ANAKIN
    And it might have been . . . If the Chancellor hadn't been kidnapped, I don't think they would have ever brought us back from the Outer Rim sieges.

    He starts to give her another kiss. She steps back.

    PADMÉ
    Wait, not here.

    He grabs her again.

    ANAKIN
    Yes, here! I'm tired of all this decep
     
  5. samrosenbaum

    samrosenbaum Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2005
    INT. JEDI TEMPLE - COUNCIL CHAMBER - DAY

    Anakin stands in the middle of the room. Surrounding him is the Jedi Council: Mace Windu, Obi-Wan, Yoda, SHAAK TI, and the holograms of PLO KOON and KI-ADI-MUNDI.

    MACE
    Anakin Skywalker, we have approved your appointment to the Council as the Chancellor's personal representative.

    ANAKIN
    I will do my best to uphold the principles of the Jedi Order.

    YODA
    Allow this appointment lightly, the Council does not. Disturbing is this move by Chancellor Palpatine.

    ANAKIN
    I understand.

    MACE
    You are on this Council, but we do not grant you the rank of Master.

    Anakin reacts with sudden anger.

    ANAKIN
    What?! . . . How can you do this?! How can one be on the Council and not be a Master?! It?s outrageous! It's unfair! I'm more powerful than any of you!

    Yoda reacts, but doesn?t say anything.

    ANAKIN (cont?d)
    Was I not chosen, by the will of the Force, to be the most powerful Jedi ever . . . to destroy the Sith and bring balance?!

    The Jedi are stunned.

    MACE
    (sternly)
    That hasn?t been decided. Don?t let it go to your head. Boasts and fits of anger will not bring balance to the Force.

    ANAKIN
    (calms down)
    I?m sorry, Master. Forgive me.

    MACE
    Take a seat, young Skywalker.

    Anakin goes and sits in one of the empty chairs. Everyone is embarrassed.

    KI-ADI-MUNDI (holo)
    We have surveyed all systems in the Republic, and have found no sign of General Grievous.

    YODA
    Hiding in the Outer Rim, Grievous is. The outlying systems, you must sweep.

    OBI-WAN
    It may take some time . . . we do not have many ships to spare.

    MACE
    We cannot take ships from the front line.

    OBI-WAN
    And yet, it would be fatal for us, if the Droid armies regroup.

    YODA
    Master Kenobi, our spies contact, you must, and then wait.

    KI-ADI-MUNDI (holo)
    What about the Droid attack on the Wookiees?

    MACE
    It is critical we send an assault force there, immediately!

    OBI-WAN
    He's right. That?s a system we cannot afford to lose.

    ANAKIN
    I know that system well. It would take us little time to drive the Droids off that planet.

    MACE
    Skywalker, your assignment is here with the Chancellor, and Kenobi must find General Grievous.

    YODA
    Go, I will. Good relations with the Wookiees, I have.

    MACE
    It is settled then. Yoda will take a battalion of Clones to reinforce the Wookiees on Kashyyyk. May the Force be with us all.

    Anakin is disappointed.

    INT. JEDI TEMPLE - MAIN HALLWAY AND ALCOVE - DAY

    Anakin and Obi-Wan walk through one of the massive Jedi Temple hallways. Anakin is fuming.

    OBI-WAN
    Do you mind telling me what that was about?

    ANAKIN
    You know very well. I remember what was said of me, when I was younger . . . about not having a father. I researched it.

    OBI-WAN
    (resignedly)
    So, you know.

    They stop. Anakin turns to him.

    ANAKIN
    I know all of you are afraid of me.
    That?s why you humiliate me, by putting me on the Council but refusing to make me a Master. That's never been done in the history of the Jedi!

    OBI-WAN
    Calm down, Anakin. You?ve been given a great honor. To be on the Council at your age . . . It's never happened before. The fact of the matter is you're too close to the Chancellor. The Council doesn't like it when he interferes in Jedi affairs.

    ANAKIN
    I swear to you, I didn't ask to be put on the Council . . .

    OBI-WAN
    But it's what you wanted! Your friendship with Chancellor Palpatine seems to have paid off.

    ANAKIN
    That has nothing to do with this.

    OBI-WAN
    Anakin, regardless of how it happened, you find yourself in a delicate situation.

    ANAKIN
    You mean divided loyalties . . . Master, you of all people should have confidence in my abilities. I know where my loyalties lie.

    OBI-WAN
    I hope so.

    ANAKIN
    I sense there's more to this talk than you're saying.

    OBI-WAN
    Anakin, the only reason the Council has approved your appointment is because the Chancellor trusts you.

    Anakin stares at him.

    OBI-WAN (cont?d)
    Anakin, look, I am on your side. I didn't want to see you pu
     
  6. samrosenbaum

    samrosenbaum Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2005
    INT. CORUSCANT - GALAXIES OPERA HOUSE - NIGHT

    Anakin enters Palpatine's box, where the Chancellor is sitting with his two AIDES (MAS AMEDDA and SLY-MOORE), watching the MAN CALAMARI BALLET doing "Squid Lake."

    ANAKIN
    You wanted to see me, Chancellor.

    PALPATINE
    Yes, Anakin! Come closer. I have good news. Our Clone Intelligence Units have discovered the location of General Grievous. He is hiding in the Utapau system.

    ANAKIN
    At last, we'll be able to capture that monster and end this war.

    PALPATINE
    I would worry about the collective wisdom of the Council, if they didn't select you for this assignment. You are the best choice by far . . . but they can't always be trusted to do the right thing.

    ANAKIN
    They try.

    PALPATINE
    Sit with me.
    (to his aides)
    Leave us.

    The aides leave, as Anakin sits next to Palpatine. The Chancellor turns his head and leans over to Anakin.

    PALPATINE (cont?d)
    Anakin, you know I'm not able to rely on the Jedi Council. If they haven't included you in their plot, they soon will.

    ANAKIN
    I'm not sure I understand.

    PALPATINE
    You must sense what I have come to suspect . . . the Jedi Council want control of the Republic . . . they're planning to betray me.

    ANAKIN
    I don't think . . .

    PALPATINE
    Anakin, search your feelings. You know, don't you?

    ANAKIN
    I know they don't trust you . . .

    PALPATINE
    Or the Senate . . . or the Republic . . . or democracy for that matter.

    ANAKIN
    I have to admit my trust in them has been shaken.

    PALPATINE
    Why? They asked you to do something that made you feel dishonest, didn't they?

    Anakin doesn't say anything. He simply looks down.

    PALPATINE (cont?d)
    They asked you to spy on me, didn't they?

    ANAKIN
    I don't know . . . I don't know what to say.

    PALPATINE
    Remember back to your early teachings, Anakin. "All those who gain power are afraid to lose it." Even the Jedi.

    ANAKIN
    The Jedi use their power for good.

    PALPATINE
    Good is a point of view, Anakin. And the Jedi point of view is not the only valid one. The Dark Lords of the Sith believe in security and justice also, yet they are considered by the Jedi to be . . .

    ANAKIN
    Evil.

    PALPATINE
    From a Jedi's point of view.

    ANAKIN
    I thought only the Jedi knew of the Sith.

    PALPATINE
    It is my business to know also . . . to run the Republic. The Sith and the Jedi are similar in almost every way, including their quest for greater power. The difference between the two is the Sith are not afraid of the Dark Side of the Force. That is why they are more powerful.

    ANAKIN
    The Sith rely on their passion for their strength. They think inward, only about themselves.

    PALPATINE
    And the Jedi don't?

    ANAKIN
    The Jedi are selfless . . . they only care about others.

    PALPATINE
    (smiles)
    Or so you've been trained to believe. Why is it, then, that they have asked you to do something you feel is wrong?

    ANAKIN
    I'm not sure it's wrong.

    PALPATINE
    Have they asked you to betray the Jedi code? The Constitution? A friendship? Your own values? Think. Consider their motives. Keep your mind clear of assumptions. The fear of losing power is a weakness of both the Jedi and the Sith.

    Anakin is deep in thought.

    PALPATINE (cont?d)
    Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis "the wise"?

    ANAKIN
    No.

    PALPATINE
    I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise, he could use the Force to influence the midi-chlorians to create life.

    He lets that sink in. Anakin turns to him questioningly.

    PALPATINE (cont?d)
    Plagueis had such a knowledge of the Dark Side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying.

    ANAKIN
    He could actually save people from death?

    PALPATINE
    The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

    ANAKIN
    What happened to him?

    PALPATINE
    He became so powerful . . . the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course,
     
  7. samrosenbaum

    samrosenbaum Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2005
    INT. JEDI TEMPLE ? WAR ROOM ? DAY

    Mace and the holograms of Ki-Adi-Mundi, Yoda and Obi-Wan are seated at a large table. Above it is a holographic map of the war zones and troop movements amongst the star systems. Yet, at the moment, they are not talking about the map.

    KI-ADI-MUNDI (holo)
    (to Obi-Wan)
    May we ask how you?ve come to know this?

    OBI-WAN (holo)
    That, I cannot say.

    YODA (holo)
    Sensed it, we all have . . .

    Obi-Wan's hologram tenses up.

    YODA (holo) (cont?d)
    Too much under the sway of the Chancellor, young Skywalker is. Much anger there is in him . . . too much pride in his powers.

    Obi-Wan's hologram relaxes.

    MACE
    It was mistake putting those two together. The boy can?t handle it.

    OBI-WAN (holo)
    With all due respect, Master, is Anakin not the Chosen One? Is he not to destroy the Sith and bring balance to the Force?

    MACE
    So the prophecy says.

    YODA (holo)
    A prophecy . . . that misread could have been.

    MACE
    (to all)
    I sense a plot to destroy the Jedi. The Dark Side of the Force surrounds the Chancellor. If he does not give up his emergency powers after the destruction of Grievous, then he should be removed from office.

    Obi-Wan's hologram looks sorry that he brought this up.

    OBI-WAN (holo)
    That could be dangerous . . . the Jedi Council would have to take control of the Senate in order to secure a peaceful transition. I do not like that idea.

    KI-ADI-MUNDI (holo)
    We should wait. Word has spread very fast that there?s an insurgent movement in the Senate that could make this issue moot.

    MACE
    There is. They just announced it today. But I?m not holding out any hope for politicians solving this crisis. We must be ready to act.

    YODA (holo)
    To a dark place this line of thought will carry us. Hmmmmm . . . great care we must take.

    EXT. CORUSCANT ? SENATE OFFICE BUILDING ? LANDING PLATFORM - LATE AFTERNOON

    A transport lands, and Chancellor Palpatine emerges with FOUR REPUBLIC GUARDS and Mas Amedda. The guards move off in another direction, as Palpatine greets Anakin, who has been waiting for him.

    PALPATINE
    Well, Anakin, did you see your friend off?

    ANAKIN
    He will soon have Grievous' head.

    PALPATINE
    We can only hope the Council didn't make a mistake.

    ANAKIN
    The Council was very sure in its decision.

    PALPATINE
    There are rumors in the Senate about Master Kenobi. Many believe he is not fit for this assignment.

    ANAKIN
    Excuse me, sir, but why would anyone think that?

    They exit the landing platform and walk toward the building entrance.

    PALPATINE
    They say his mind has become fogged by the influence of a certain female Senator . . . the one he reports to as a Jedi liaison. It is said there is another kind of liaison going on between them.

    This disturbs Anakin.

    PALPATINE (cont?d)
    Were it to be true, both of them would be having significant conflicts of interest.

    ANAKIN
    With all due respect, Chancellor, I don?t believe Obi-Wan would do such a thing . . . or Senator Amidala, for that matter, from what I know of her.

    PALPATINE
    Are you sure about that? Search your feelings. Haven?t you been sensing things about your friend?

    This disturbs Anakin even more, as they enter the grand hallway.

    PALPATINE (cont?d)
    As for Senator Amidala, it would appear she?s been keeping us distracted with her hold on the Jedi Council, while, at the same time, engineering something else behind our backs.

    ANAKIN
    What do you mean?

    PALPATINE
    These are unstable times for the Republic, Anakin. Some see instability as an opportunity.

    ANAKIN
    An opportunity . . . for what?

    They stop. Palaptine turns to Anakin.

    PALPATINE
    For power . . . for betrayal.

    ANAKIN
    Not Senator Amidala. I know you and she have differences, but they are honest ones. I don?t believe she would ever betray the Republic.

    PALPATINE
    Let us hope you are correct.

    They continue on.

    INT. CHANCELLOR'S OFFICE - SUNSET

    Palpatine listens to a delegation, which includes Padmé, Fang Zar, and FOUR OTHER SENATORS. A holo-graphic d
     
  8. Luna_Nightshade

    Luna_Nightshade Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jan 25, 2006
    Slow down! I can't keep up! *pant*
     
  9. samrosenbaum

    samrosenbaum Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2005
    Oops, sorry. Didn't mean to run over you. I was meaning to post it all at once, like the earlier version. But I'll stop for now and do the rest tomorrow night.
     
  10. samrosenbaum

    samrosenbaum Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2005
    INT. CORUSCANT - JEDI GUNSHIP - LANDING PLATFORM - EARLY EVENING

    Mace, Agen Kolar and TWO OTHER JEDI (KIT FISTO and SASEE TIIN) are preparing to board a Jedi gunship to the Chancellor?s office. Anakin enters the hangar.

    ANAKIN
    Master Windu, I must talk to you.

    MACE
    What is it, Skywalker? We are in a hurry. We just received word that Obi-Wan has destroyed General Grievous. We?re on our way to make sure the Chancellor returns emergency powers to the Senate.

    ANAKIN
    He won't give up his power. He may not, even if the Senate forces him. I've just learned a terrible truth. I think Chancellor Palpatine is the Sith Lord we?ve been looking for.

    MACE
    (alarmed)
    How do you know this?

    ANAKIN
    He knows the ways of the Force. He?s been trained to use the Dark Side.

    MACE
    Are you sure? It is vital that you be sure!

    ANAKIN
    I am sure. Absolutely.

    MACE
    Then our worst fears have been realized. We must move quickly, if the Jedi Order is to survive.

    ANAKIN
    Master, the Chancellor is very powerful. You will need my help if you?re going to arrest

    him.

    MACE
    For your own good, stay out of this affair. I sense a great deal of conflict in you, young Skywalker. There is much fear that clouds your judgment.

    ANAKIN
    I sense much fear in you too, Master. I must go.

    MACE
    (growing angry)
    Do not presume to know what you sense in me, Skywalker!

    ANAKIN
    I?m sorry, Master.

    MACE
    If what you told me is true, you will have gained my trust, but for now remain here. Wait for us in the Council Chamber.

    ANAKIN
    Yes, Master.

    Anakin watches, as the Jedi leave in their ship.

    INT. JEDI TEMPLE - COUNCIL CHAMBER ? MINUTES LATER

    Anakin sits alone in the Council Chamber, thinking.

    PALPATINE (V.O.)
    You do know, don't you, if the Jedi destroy me, any chance of saving her will be lost.

    PADMÉ (V.O.)
    You don't need more power, Anakin. I believe you can protect me against anything, just as you are . . . and . . . even if something were to happen to me, I?ll love you all the same.

    ANAKIN
    I can't do this . . . I can't let you die.

    He rushes out of the Council Chamber . . .

    INT. JEDI TEMPLE ? HANGAR ? SECONDS LATER

    and to his speeder bike. The hangar door opens, and he LIFTS OFF.

    INT. LOBBY TO CHANCELLOR'S OFFICE - EARLY EVENING

    Mace Windu and his three Jedi enter the lobby, raising their arms, and send an AIDE flying against the wall, along with two of the Republic Guards seen earlier.

    INT. CHANCELLOR?S OFFICE ? CONTINUOUS

    The Jedi storm into the Chancellor's office to find Palpatine still seated at his desk.

    PALPATINE
    Master Windu. I take it General Grievous has been destroyed. I must say, you're here sooner than expected.

    MACE
    In the name of the Galactic Senate of the Republic, you are under arrest, Chancellor.

    Mace and the other Jedi ignite their light sabers.

    PALPATINE
    Are you threatening me, Master Jedi?

    MACE
    The Senate will decide your fate.

    PALPATINE
    (burst of anger)
    I am the Senate!

    MACE
    Not yet!

    Palpatine stands. A laser sword appears out of his cloak sleeve.

    PALPATINE
    It's treason, then!

    He spins toward the Jedi and fights them into the hallway, beheading Sasee Tiin in seconds. Sasee's severed head lands, tentacles twitching. The other Jedi realize they're in trouble, as Palpatine, moving with preternatural speed, next engages Kit Fisto. Agen Kolar uses the Force to flip over top of them, just short of hitting the ceiling, and lands behind Palpatine. Agen, Kit and Mace close in on Palpatine, forcing him to turn back and forth to block their light sabers. It looks like they have him trapped.

    Now, it's Palpatine's turn to use the Force to defy gravity. He flips over top of Agen, but doesn't wait to touch the floor before striking. As Agen turns around, Palpatine's light saber slices upwards through him. Palpatine stands upright, holding up his light saber, as the two halves of Agen fall to either side. Kit reacts with shock, Mace with fury.

    EXT. SENATE OFFICE BUILDING - LANDING PLATFORM ?
     
  11. samrosenbaum

    samrosenbaum Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2005
    EXT. ALDERAAN STARCRUISER - SPACE

    Obi-Wan's ship docks with Bail Organa's Starcruiser.

    INT. ALDERAAN STARCRUISER ? HALLWAY

    The door to the main hallway slides open. Obi-Wan enters and is greeted by Yoda and Bail. The three walk down the hallway.

    BAIL
    You made it.

    YODA
    Master Kenobi, dark times are these. Good to see you, it is.

    OBI-WAN
    You were attacked by your Clones, also?

    YODA
    With the help of the Wookiees, barely escape, I did.

    OBI-WAN
    How many other Jedi managed to survive?

    YODA
    Heard from no one, have we.

    BAIL
    I saw thousands of troops attack the Jedi Temple. That's why I went looking for Yoda.

    OBI-WAN
    Have we had any contact from the Temple?

    YODA
    Received a coded retreat message, we have.

    BAIL
    It requests all Jedi to return to the Temple. It says that the war is over.

    OBI-WAN
    Well, then we must go back! If there are other stragglers, they will fall into the trap and be killed.

    BAIL
    It's too dangerous to return.

    YODA
    Suggest dismantling the coded signal, do you?

    OBI-WAN
    Yes, Master. There is too much at stake here, and we need a clearer picture of what has happened.

    YODA
    I agree. In a dark place, we find ourselves. The Chancellor?s claim of an attempt on his life, if true, disturbing that is . . . a little more knowledge might light our way.

    EXT. MUSTAFAR - LAVA FIELDS - DAY

    WORKER DROIDS, so insulated that they hardly look like Droids at all, but, instead, roving mounds, move across the lava beds, gathering the magma. A column of ALIENS riding giant MUSTAFAR FLEAS marches forward.

    INT. MUSTAFAR - MAIN CONTROL CENTER - DAY

    A hologram of Darth Sidious is in the center of the room. Nute Gunray and the Rest of the Separatist Coalition watch Sidious.

    DARTH SIDIOUS
    You have done well, Viceroy. When my new apprentice, Darth Vader, arrives, he will take care of you.

    The hologram disappears.

    INT. ALDERAAN STARCRUISER ? BRIDGE

    Bail, Obi-Wan and Yoda enter the bridge. The Captain turns to them from beside the front window, through which the planet Coruscant appears in the distance.

    CAPTAIN ANTILLES
    We received a message from the Chancellor?s office, requesting that all Senators attend a special session.

    BAIL
    It could be a trap.

    OBI-WAN
    I don't think so. The Chancellor will not be able to control the thousands of star systems without keeping the Senate intact.

    YODA
    If a special session there is, easier for us to enter the Jedi Temple it will be.

    EXT. CORUSCANT - JEDI TEMPLE - LATE DAY

    Smoke from the smoldering shell of the Jedi Temple fills the air with a brown haze.

    INT. JEDI TEMPLE - MAIN ENTRANCE - LATE DAY

    A DOZEN CLONE TROOPERS stand guard at the entrance of the Jedi Temple. Suddenly, there is a flash of a light saber, a flurry of confusion, and all of the Clone Troopers are dead on the floor. Yoda and Obi-Wan stand in the middle of the carnage.

    OBI-WAN
    There are battalions of Clone Troopers on every level. Many are dressed as Jedi.

    YODA
    Dismantle the coded signal quickly. This group, soon discovered will be.

    EXT. CORUSCANT - SENATE OFFICE BUILDING AND ARENA ? LATE AFTERNOON

    The Senate Arena looms over the city, from its vantage point atop the awesome Senate Office Building. The endless traffic continues to clutter the skyline.

    INT. SENATE CHAMBER ? LATE AFTERNOON

    The Chancellor is in the podium in the center of the vast arena giving a speech. Mas Amedda stands to the right of him, holding a giant staff.

    PALPATINE
    The attempt on my life has left me scarred . . . deformed . . . but I assure you my resolve has never been stronger.

    Senators APPLAUD.

    From the hallway, Bail enters the Senate Pod of Naboo and sits next to Padmé. Her two aides are seated behind her.

    BAIL
    I was held up. What?s happening?

    PADMÉ
    The Chancellor?s claiming that the Jedi plotted to overthrow, not only him, but the Senate.

    BAIL
    That isn?t true.

    PADMÉ
    I know. But the evidence he?s been presenting all afternoon looks convincing . . . except for what happ
     
  12. samrosenbaum

    samrosenbaum Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2005
    INT. PADMÉ?S APARTMENT ? LIVING ROOM - TWILIGHT

    Bail helps Padmé into the living room. Outside the window, the sun has just set. C-3PO approaches them.

    C-3PO
    Oh dear, My Lady, you?re injured! How did this happen? What should I do?

    Bail helps Padmé onto the largest of the couches, where she lies down.

    BAIL
    (to C-3PO)
    Go prepare a med device to heal her foot.

    C-3PO
    Right away, sir.

    C-3PO heads away, as Bail pours Padmé a cup of juice from the pitcher on the low table. She drinks it down. C-3PO turns around.

    C-3PO (cont?d)
    Oh, I think you should know. Master Kenobi is . . .

    Obi-Wan appears from the hallway.

    C-3PO (cont?d)
    Here.

    C-3PO exits to the other room. Bail sits on one of the other couches, as Obi-Wan approaches.

    OBI-WAN
    You were . . . brilliant today, Padmé.

    PADMÉ
    You saw it?

    OBI-WAN
    Most of it.

    PADMÉ
    I wasn?t brilliant. I failed.

    OBI-WAN
    (paces slowly)
    You unmasked the Emperor . . . took away his pretense . . . and, we can hope, shortened his reign. There was nothing more you could have done. The Republic had already fallen. It was too far-gone. It?s now up to Master Yoda.

    PADMÉ
    To assassinate him?

    OBI-WAN
    (turns to her)
    No, to fight him fairly, as the Jedi always have.

    PADMÉ
    Palpatine doesn?t fight fairly, in case you haven?t noticed. Master Yoda doesn?t stand much of a chance, does he?

    OBI-WAN
    Are you suggesting . . .?

    PADMÉ
    No, I?m not. I know what would happen then. Even one with as much good in him as Master Yoda would become lost to the Dark Side, and, with him, so would we.
    (softly)
    But I almost did. That man has taken away everything we stood for . . . everything I?ve lived for . . . even Anakin . . . my Ani.
    (raises up)
    I must go to Anakin and try to bring him back . . . back to us . . . back to me.

    OBI-WAN
    (paces again)
    That may not be possible. Anakin, too, may be too far-gone. He, too, has been made a Lord of the Sith, and they?ve given him a name . . . Darth Vader.

    Padmé lies back down. Obi-Wan turns to her.

    OBI-WAN (cont?d)
    I don?t know where the Emperor has sent Anakin, and I need to find him. Do you know where he has gone?

    PADMÉ
    (realizing)
    You?re going to kill him.

    OBI-WAN
    I will, if I have to . . . if he leaves me no choice. And, to be completely sincere . . . I doubt that I?ll have a choice.

    PADMÉ
    Then . . . to be completely sincere . . . Yes, I know where he went, but I won?t tell you.

    She turns her face away. Obi-Wan sits on another of the couches, eyes lowered.

    OBI-WAN
    Padmé . . . this is very difficult . . . but, if you?re intent on seeing Anakin again, you must know . . . I?ve been to the Jedi Temple.

    Bail sits forward anxiously.

    OBI-WAN (cont?d)
    I?ve seen the bodies of the Younglings . . . their condition. Padmé raises up, apprehensive.

    OBI-WAN (cont?d)
    I?ve seen the security recording.

    PADMÉ
    (softly, shaking her head)
    No.

    BAIL
    General, please don?t do this.

    OBI-WAN
    Only the few who got out were killed by Clones. The rest . . .

    PADMÉ
    No, not Ani.

    OBI-WAN
    Yes.

    PADMÉ
    (lies back)
    I don?t believe you! I can?t!

    OBI-WAN
    (softly)
    Search you feelings. You know it to be true.

    Padmé cries.

    OBI-WAN (cont?d)
    I?m sorry.

    PADMÉ
    Please, go now.

    Bail gets up and walks over to where Obi-Wan is still sitting. Obi-Wan is genuinely in pain.

    OBI-WAN
    I?m truly sorry.

    BAIL
    (tugs at Obi-Wan)
    Come, let?s go.

    OBI-WAN
    (stands)
    Your children . . .

    Padmé looks straight at him.

    OBI-WAN (cont?d)
    Anakin?s the father?

    PADMÉ
    Get out!

    OBI-WAN
    (suddenly fearful)
    Padmé, I?ll help you any way I can. Just don?t give up. There is hope, for you and for them!

    PADMÉ
    GET OUT!

    BAIL
    (to Padme, as he grabs Obi-Wan)
    We?re going.

    Bail pulls Obi-Wan with him toward the outer door.

    INT. APARTMENT BUILDING ? ELEVATOR ? MINUTES LATER

    Obi-Wan and Bail descend, with the city lights rising behind them. Obi-Wan is distraught.

    OBI-WAN
    We should not be leaving
     
  13. samrosenbaum

    samrosenbaum Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2005
    INT. CORUSCANT - SENATE ARENA - CHANCELLOR'S HOLDING OFFICE ? SAME TIME

    Yoda enters, using the Force to throw the two Republic Guards (the second pair) against the wall, knocking them unconscious. Darth Sidious turns his chair toward Yoda. Mas Amedda stands behind Sidious' desk.

    YODA
    I hear a new apprentice, you have, Emperor, or should I call you Darth Sidious.

    DARTH SIDIOUS
    Master Yoda, you survived.

    YODA
    Surprised?

    DARTH SIDIOUS
    Your arrogance blinds you, Master Yoda. Now you will experience the full power of the Dark Side!

    The Dark Lord raises his arms, and LIGHTNING BOLTS shoot out, surrounding Yoda. Yoda is picked up and thrown across the room, hitting the wall and sliding down in a crumpled heap. Sidious chuckles.

    INT. MUSTAFAR - PASSAGES TO CONTROL CENTER ? SAME TIME

    Anakin and Obi-Wan move their fight toward the main control center. As the laser swords fly, bits of the hallway are cut up. Obi-Wan and Anakin jump and use every trick in the Jedi book.

    INT. CORUSCANT - HOLDING OFFICE ? SAME TIME

    Mas Amedda leaves the room. Darth Sidious approaches a stunned Yoda.

    DARTH SIDIOUS
    I have waited a long time for this moment, my little green friend. At last, the Jedi are no more.

    YODA
    Not if anything I have to say about it, Lord Sidious.

    Yoda uses the Force to throw Sidious back, knocking him clear over his desk and onto the floor in a heap.

    YODA (cont?d)
    At an end your rule is and not short enough it was, I must say.

    Darth Sidious flies through the air, cape flapping, heading toward the exit. At the last second, Yoda flies into the exit and stops the Dark Lord.

    YODA (cont?d)
    If so powerful you are, why leave??

    Yoda ignites his light saber.

    DARTH SIDIOUS
    You will not stop me. Darth Vader shall become more powerful than either of us.

    Sidious ignites his light saber.

    YODA
    Faith in your new apprentice, misplaced may be, as is your faith in the Dark Side of the Force.

    Their swords CLASH. The battle is extremely fast and furious.

    INT. MUSTAFAR - MAIN CONTROL CENTER ? SAME TIME

    View screens EXPLODE around Anakin and Obi-Wan, as they work their way into the Control Room. The fighting is intense. Obi-Wan is on the defensive, as he jumps up on the table view screen in the center of the room.

    ANAKIN
    Don't make me destroy you, Master. You're no match for the Dark Side.

    OBI-WAN
    I've heard that before, Anakin . . . but I never thought I'd hear it from you.

    Anain forces Obi-Wan back into the Conference Room, where the quarters are much closer. SPARKS fly everywhere. Anakin jumps onto the conference table. Obi-Wan slides across the table, knocking Anakin over, both of them dropping their light sabers as they fall. Obi-Wan uses the Force to summon his dropped light saber. Anakin does the same.

    INT. CORUSCANT - SENATE CHAMBER ? SAME TIME

    Darth Sidious seeks refuge in the vast Senate chamber. He gets into the Chancellor's podium, and it starts to rise up into the arena. Yoda makes a giant leap into the control pod. The sword fighting is intense in the confined space.

    INT. MUSTAFAR - MAIN CONTROL CENTER ? SAME TIME

    The battle intensifies.

    OBI-WAN
    The flaw of power is arrogance.

    He stands looking at his former apprentice.

    ANAKIN
    You hesitate . . . the flaw of compassion.

    They lock sabers. Obi-Wan puts out his hand to use the Force to push Anakin away. Anakin puts out his hand to block Obi-Wan. Both combatants are BLASTED backwards onto the control panels. They regain their footing, and the battle continues. Anakin kicks Obi-Wan away. They battle around the room, and eventually the door to the exterior is knocked open. They continue battling out onto the balcony.

    INT. CORUSCANT - SENATE CHAMBER ? SAME TIME

    Yoda unleashes a ferocious assault on Sidious, causing him to almost go over the edge. The Dark Lord drops his light saber but recovers with a BLAST OF ENERGY from his hands that surrounds Yoda. Yoda deflects the Sith Lord's LIGHTNING BOLTS. The ENERGY BOLTS begin to arc back on the Emperor.
     
  14. Luna_Nightshade

    Luna_Nightshade Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jan 25, 2006
    I love how you have developed Padme as a character, especially with her death scene. It makes her a much stronger character. Lucas could have done well with looking over this. Good job! =D=
     
  15. samrosenbaum

    samrosenbaum Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2005
    Thank you. Developing Padmé as a strong, active character was my main purpose in rewriting the ROTS screenplay.

    Regarding Padmé's death scene, I felt that the impression left by the movie, that she dies simply from Anakin breaking her heart, is clichéd and not quite believable for the person we saw in the two previous films. It takes more than that, for someone like her to give up the will to live. In this version, losing Anakin to the Dark Side is a factor, but not the only one. There's also losing the Republic to Palpatine/Sidious, her injuries from the Force-choking, and, what ultimately decides it, the need to save her children from being hunted down and taken away.
     
  16. samrosenbaum

    samrosenbaum Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2005


    AFTERWORD

    A Possible Alternate Ending for ?Return of the Jedi?



    George Lucas has twice changed the ending of Return of the Jedi, first adding victory celebrations across the galaxy, then changing the appearance of Anakin?s consciousness form, which appears alongside those of Obi-Wan and Yoda. So, why not take it one step further? Obi-Wan and Yoda learned from Qui-Gon how ?to become one with the Force, and influence still have,? but Anakin did not. He certainly didn?t learn it from Emperor Sidious, since ?a state acquired through compassion, not greed, it is.? So, Anakin must have been able to do it on his own, through a combination of being as strong as he is with the Force and his final act of compassion.

    Padmé wasn?t a trained Jedi. However, in this revision, she was sensitive enough to the Force to be affected by its changes, had extensive knowledge of it through her Senate committee?s oversight of the Jedi, and even seemed to have picked up a technique or two of theirs. So, the combination of her actions in this story with the events in Return of the Jedi, which prove her right about both the rebellion and Anakin, might enable Padmé to return in consciousness form to be with Anakin once again.

    So, in the final scene, where Luke sees Obi-Wan and Yoda, and then Anakin, Anakin would hold out his hand, and Padmé would appear and take it. When Leia, who up till now hasn?t paid any attention to the ghosts, comes to get Luke to join in the victory celebration, she would stop as she recognizes her mother. (She says earlier in Jedi that she remembers her.) The parents? wordless expressions to their children would communicate that they are very proud of them and wish them to carry on. Luke and Leia would then go and join the others, who are celebrating the end of the Empire and the beginning of whatever new adventures lie ahead.

     
  17. samrosenbaum

    samrosenbaum Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2005
    Update, 04/14/2006

    Prompted by some feedback from another website, I trimmed the beginning flying sequence and hangar bay scenes, and tweaked some of the dramatic scenes throughout, most notably the early balcony scene and the scene in Palpatine's office where Anakin makes his turn the the Dark Side official.
     
  18. Brandon Rhea

    Brandon Rhea Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jun 26, 2004
    That...was...beautiful. I really liked Revenge of the Sith, but that certainly would have made it so much better.
     
  19. samrosenbaum

    samrosenbaum Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2005
    A very appreciative thank you. My rewrite has run into some controversy in some quarters, so I'm very happy on the occasion when it has crossover appeal to the PT's fans, rather than just its critics. :)

    And thanks for the PMs.
     
  20. leia_naberrie

    leia_naberrie Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2002
    I finally read it from start to finish. Nice work, samrosenbaum . Have you ever thought of doing this professionally? You're really good.
     
  21. samrosenbaum

    samrosenbaum Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2005
    Breaking into professional screenwriting was an ambition of mine for many years, but I had since all but given up on it. Then "Sith" happened, and my reaction to it jump-started my writing anew. Hopefully, this is the start of a new era of creativity, rather than the last gasp of an old one. Thanks for encouraging me to make it the former and pursue writing professionally again. :)
     
  22. samrosenbaum

    samrosenbaum Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2005
    Script update:

    By request from another website, I've edited the post containing the 'Palpatine vs Jedi Posse' scene, to detail what happens to Sasee Tiin, Agen Kolar and Kit Fisto, who have come with Mace Windu to arrest the Chancellor.
     
  23. samrosenbaum

    samrosenbaum Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2005
    Script update:

    Time ripples from the AOTC rewrite I've started, where I changed the handmaiden who dies at the beginning from Cordé to Sabé, have reached here. So, I made the corresponding change in the scene where she's remembered by Padmé and the others.
     
  24. samrosenbaum

    samrosenbaum Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2005
    Script Update: EDIT - Cancelled.

    I had posted a new change to the Anakin vs Obi-Wan duel scene here, but changed my mind.


     
  25. Brandon Rhea

    Brandon Rhea Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jun 26, 2004
    If I might make a suggestion for the ending, Sam, I would change the ending montage to show Yoda landing on Dagobah before Padme's funeral. That way, after you see Yoda on Dagobah, you see the four endings for the four Skywalkers uninterrupted.
     
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