Saga "ER Wars" - (Humour, Obi-Wan, Anakin, Shmi)

I got to thinking the other day about how Ewan McGregor played a robber on ER, AND how Jake Lloyd played the son of a hooker on ER. I thought "now that's interesting... Obi-Wan and Anakin in an ER"... this all lead to this little humour story which I hope you enjoy.

**please note that it is NOT necessary to have seen ER to get this story. It's almost all Star Wars**

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We open in Chicago, Cook County General Hospital, the Emergency Room entrance. An ambulance wheels in and the paramedics jump out, opening the doors and unloading the patient. The patient is a man of 25, with shaggy brown hair. He speaks in a Scottish accent.

PATIENT: I don?t want to die in a hospital!

PARAMEDIC: Relax, will you, you?re not going to die! You were only shot in the leg.

PATIENT: The leg? How can that be? That cop had a clear shot at my chest!

PARAMEDIC: He used to be a stormtrooper.

PATIENT: Oh. Well that makes sense.

Dr. Greene and Nurse Carol Hathaway approach the patient and begin to wheel him inside.

CAROL: This is the one, Mark. The guy who held up the drugstore.

GREENE: What do we got?

Before the paramedic can speak, the patient cuts her off with a scream.

PATIENT: I?ve been shot in the bloody leg, mate! What does it look like?!

GREENE: Ok, sir, I?d like you to calm down. What?s your name?

PATIENT: Obi-bleeding-Wan Kenobi!

CAROL: You told me your name was Duncan!

OBI-WAN: Like I?m going to give you my real name when I?m trying to rob a drugstore!

CAROL: Point.

GREENE: Why tell the truth now?

OBI-WAN: Are you mad? Have you ever seen a hospital bill? I?m chalking this one up to my insurance company, mate.

GREENE: Good idea.

Carol and Mark wheel Obi-Wan into curtain 3 and stop the gurney. They start to get out the proper instruments to tend to Obi-Wan?s gunshot wound, but notice that it?s been healed.

GREENE: How?d that happen?

OBI-WAN: (trying to think of a good excuse) Um, well, must have just bounced off. Fancy that.

Greene and Carol exchange a suspicious look.

GREENE: Well, you appear to be ok, but you?ll have to stay here while we run some tests.

Carol draws some of Obi-Wan?s blood.

OBI-WAN: (muttering) Force that hurts! Why couldn?t they use one of those little testing jobs like Qui-Gon had?

CAROL: What?

OBI-WAN: I said? You?re sure you?re not jesting me like my mom did?

Obi-Wan cringes at the stupidity of his comment. Carol gives him a strange look, but just shakes her head.

CAROL: Um? no really, we just need to run these tests I promise. There, now I?ll take this down to the lab.

As she and Dr. Greene leave, another nurse comes in with a young boy. She motions him to the open gurney next to Obi-Wan and then leaves. The boy looks curiously at Obi-Wan, who tries to ignore him and becomes transfixed by the shiny metallic gurney railings.

BOY: Hi! I?m Anakin Skywalker! Are you an angel?

OBI-WAN: What the bleeding heck did you just say?

ANAKIN: (smiling widely) I asked if you were an angel.

OBI-WAN: No I?m not a bloody angel. And if I were you, I?d think twice before I said something like that to a perfect stranger. That?s a horrible line.

ANAKIN: (unfased) But are you sure you?re not an angel, because I thought people in the hospital were supposed to be hurt, and you aren?t hurt, so you must have done something to make yourself better.

OBI-WAN: (nervously) What, heal myself? That?s ludicrous.

ANAKIN: You did heal yourself! I know it! That?s so cool! You?re an angel! Yippee!

Obi-Wan leaps from his bed and covers Anakin?s mouth with his hand.

OBI-WAN: (whispering) Sith, don?t ever say ?yippee? again. You could get the snot beat out of you for something like that! Understand?

Anakin nods slowly. Obi-Wan releases him and stands back.

ANAKIN: So if you?re not an angel? what are you?

OBI-WAN: I?m a, uh, a robber.

ANAKIN: A robber? (disappointed) Oh, I thought maybe you were a Jedi.

OBI-WAN: (laughing nervously

 

I am robber
I am going to died
Are you an angel

Qui-Gon is going to kill me

Tell that story "I carried him"

Oops! I need a glass of water.

Great post I

 

This is 1 of the best humour stories i have ver read. Being a big fan of ER too i can so see this happening.


Never knew about McGregor and jake being in episode of ER. Could you please give the name of the episodes so that i can try to find them to watch?

 

"I was only 15, for Force sake! It was a stupid, stupid mistake. (groaning) Qui-Gon is gonna kill me." Great story, a combination of two of my favourite things: Star Wars, and ER!

 

OBI-WAN: I was only 15, for Force sake! It was a stupid, stupid mistake. (groaning) Qui-Gon is gonna kill me.

SHMI: Oh my goodness, that?s wonderful!

LOL. I spilled my drink when I read that. Shmi's reply was spot on! Easily the best line for me.

 

I'm so glad you guys liked it. I seem to have gotten into a Star Wars humour writing groove lately

The episode that Ewan was in was "The Long Way Around" from season 3. It's when Carol is in a store when it gets robbed (by Ewan's character Dunkan). Jake was in several episodes in season 1. His character's name was Jimmy Sweet... I can't remember exactly the episode titles.

-sj loves kevin spacey

 

Thank you much for that info Solojones. I hope i can somehow try to get those episodes.

 

TNT shows ER every morning, two episodes at 9 and 10 (eastern I believe). I think right now they are in season 2.
And this is kind of a shameless plug, but if you want to keep up to date with *new* ER episodes AND/OR you want to have some fun, visit my site: The ER Trivia Site


-sj loves kevin spacey

 

Thanks for the info SJ. The only problem of that now is that i life in the Netherlands and cant recieve TNT i believe.


As for shameless plugs: I will check it out for sure now.

My Shameless plug: Can you read my fanfic too? The links are in my sig. Thank you.

 

Pure genius. Marry me sj.

 

That's the third proposal this month! Get in line!

-sj loves kevin spacey

 

I will kill the oposition.