main
side
curve
  1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

  2. Hey Fanficers! In fixing the prefixes something happened and now you can't edit titles. Don't panic! We're looking into what happened and trying to fix it.

Saga "ER Wars" - (Humour, Obi-Wan, Anakin, Shmi)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by solojones, Jul 19, 2003.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. solojones

    solojones Chosen One star 9

    Registered:
    Sep 27, 2000
    I got to thinking the other day about how Ewan McGregor played a robber on ER, AND how Jake Lloyd played the son of a hooker on ER. I thought "now that's interesting... Obi-Wan and Anakin in an ER"... this all lead to this little humour story which I hope you enjoy.

    **please note that it is NOT necessary to have seen ER to get this story. It's almost all Star Wars**

    ----------------


    We open in Chicago, Cook County General Hospital, the Emergency Room entrance. An ambulance wheels in and the paramedics jump out, opening the doors and unloading the patient. The patient is a man of 25, with shaggy brown hair. He speaks in a Scottish accent.

    PATIENT: I don?t want to die in a hospital!

    PARAMEDIC: Relax, will you, you?re not going to die! You were only shot in the leg.

    PATIENT: The leg? How can that be? That cop had a clear shot at my chest!

    PARAMEDIC: He used to be a stormtrooper.

    PATIENT: Oh. Well that makes sense.

    Dr. Greene and Nurse Carol Hathaway approach the patient and begin to wheel him inside.

    CAROL: This is the one, Mark. The guy who held up the drugstore.

    GREENE: What do we got?

    Before the paramedic can speak, the patient cuts her off with a scream.

    PATIENT: I?ve been shot in the bloody leg, mate! What does it look like?!

    GREENE: Ok, sir, I?d like you to calm down. What?s your name?

    PATIENT: Obi-bleeding-Wan Kenobi!

    CAROL: You told me your name was Duncan!

    OBI-WAN: Like I?m going to give you my real name when I?m trying to rob a drugstore!

    CAROL: Point.

    GREENE: Why tell the truth now?

    OBI-WAN: Are you mad? Have you ever seen a hospital bill? I?m chalking this one up to my insurance company, mate.

    GREENE: Good idea.

    Carol and Mark wheel Obi-Wan into curtain 3 and stop the gurney. They start to get out the proper instruments to tend to Obi-Wan?s gunshot wound, but notice that it?s been healed.


    GREENE: How?d that happen?

    OBI-WAN: (trying to think of a good excuse) Um, well, must have just bounced off. Fancy that.

    Greene and Carol exchange a suspicious look.

    GREENE: Well, you appear to be ok, but you?ll have to stay here while we run some tests.

    Carol draws some of Obi-Wan?s blood.

    OBI-WAN: (muttering) Force that hurts! Why couldn?t they use one of those little testing jobs like Qui-Gon had?

    CAROL: What?

    OBI-WAN: I said? You?re sure you?re not jesting me like my mom did?

    Obi-Wan cringes at the stupidity of his comment. Carol gives him a strange look, but just shakes her head.

    CAROL: Um? no really, we just need to run these tests I promise. There, now I?ll take this down to the lab.

    As she and Dr. Greene leave, another nurse comes in with a young boy. She motions him to the open gurney next to Obi-Wan and then leaves. The boy looks curiously at Obi-Wan, who tries to ignore him and becomes transfixed by the shiny metallic gurney railings.

    BOY: Hi! I?m Anakin Skywalker! Are you an angel?

    OBI-WAN: What the bleeding heck did you just say?

    ANAKIN: (smiling widely) I asked if you were an angel.

    OBI-WAN: No I?m not a bloody angel. And if I were you, I?d think twice before I said something like that to a perfect stranger. That?s a horrible line.

    ANAKIN: (unfased) But are you sure you?re not an angel, because I thought people in the hospital were supposed to be hurt, and you aren?t hurt, so you must have done something to make yourself better.

    OBI-WAN: (nervously) What, heal myself? That?s ludicrous.

    ANAKIN: You did heal yourself! I know it! That?s so cool! You?re an angel! Yippee!

    Obi-Wan leaps from his bed and covers Anakin?s mouth with his hand.

    OBI-WAN: (whispering) Sith, don?t ever say ?yippee? again. You could get the snot beat out of you for something like that! Understand?

    Anakin nods slowly. Obi-Wan releases him and stands back.

    ANAKIN: So if you?re not an angel? what are you?

    OBI-WAN: I?m a, uh, a robber.

    ANAKIN: A robber? (disappointed) Oh, I thought maybe you were a Jedi.

    OBI-WAN: (laughing nervously
     
  2. PatttyB0123

    PatttyB0123 RSA Latin America star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2003
    I am robber [face_laugh]
    I am going to died [face_laugh]
    Are you an angel

    Qui-Gon is going to kill me [face_laugh]

    Tell that story "I carried him" [face_laugh]

    Oops! I need a glass of water.

    Great post I [face_laugh]
     
  3. Exar_Xan

    Exar_Xan Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Dec 29, 2001
    [face_laugh] This is 1 of the best humour stories i have ver read. Being a big fan of ER too i can so see this happening.


    Never knew about McGregor and jake being in episode of ER. Could you please give the name of the episodes so that i can try to find them to watch?
     
  4. DarthSmurf

    DarthSmurf Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 10, 2003
    "I was only 15, for Force sake! It was a stupid, stupid mistake. (groaning) Qui-Gon is gonna kill me." [face_laugh] Great story, a combination of two of my favourite things: Star Wars, and ER! :p
     
  5. Dagobah_Y

    Dagobah_Y Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 24, 2002
    [blockquote]OBI-WAN: I was only 15, for Force sake! It was a stupid, stupid mistake. (groaning) Qui-Gon is gonna kill me.

    SHMI: Oh my goodness, that?s wonderful!
    [/blockquote]

    LOL. I spilled my drink when I read that. Shmi's reply was spot on! Easily the best line for me. :D
     
  6. solojones

    solojones Chosen One star 9

    Registered:
    Sep 27, 2000
    :D I'm so glad you guys liked it. I seem to have gotten into a Star Wars humour writing groove lately ;)

    The episode that Ewan was in was "The Long Way Around" from season 3. It's when Carol is in a store when it gets robbed (by Ewan's character Dunkan). Jake was in several episodes in season 1. His character's name was Jimmy Sweet... I can't remember exactly the episode titles.

    [hl=firebrick]-sj loves kevin spacey[/hl]
     
  7. Exar_Xan

    Exar_Xan Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Dec 29, 2001
    Thank you much for that info Solojones. I hope i can somehow try to get those episodes.
     
  8. solojones

    solojones Chosen One star 9

    Registered:
    Sep 27, 2000
    TNT shows ER every morning, two episodes at 9 and 10 (eastern I believe). I think right now they are in season 2.
    And this is kind of a shameless plug, but if you want to keep up to date with *new* ER episodes AND/OR you want to have some fun, visit my site: [link=http://www.noerf.com]The ER Trivia Site[/link]


    [hl=firebrick]-sj loves kevin spacey[/hl]
     
  9. Exar_Xan

    Exar_Xan Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Dec 29, 2001
    Thanks for the info SJ. The only problem of that now is that i life in the Netherlands and cant recieve TNT i believe.


    As for shameless plugs: I will check it out for sure now.

    My Shameless plug: Can you read my fanfic too? The links are in my sig. Thank you.
     
  10. Ninja_Jedi

    Ninja_Jedi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 23, 2002
    Pure genius. Marry me sj.
     
  11. solojones

    solojones Chosen One star 9

    Registered:
    Sep 27, 2000
    That's the third proposal this month! Get in line! ;)

    [hl=firebrick]-sj loves kevin spacey[/hl]
     
  12. Ninja_Jedi

    Ninja_Jedi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 23, 2002
    I will kill the oposition.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.