EU Book-a-Minute

Rogue Squadron

Wedge: I'm going to restart Rogue Squadron.
Wes and Hobbie: They're not letting us be in it.
Tycho: They think I'm a traitor.

 

EJ

 

These are great, keep 'em coming!!

 

These are great, now I know what books to read and can skip to the really great ones.

 

Darn you for getting my hopes up lexu, I thought there was a new one in.

I'll try to get a few of my own up soon, but I'm busy job hunting and trying to write a fan fic.

Maybe by the end of the week I'll have some ready.

 

Up!! Surely someone has one...

 

with

 

Fine, fine...

WEDGE's GAMBLE

WEDGE: Right. We're all going into Coruscant, the most heavily fortified planet the Empire has, and we're supposed to take it down. Yes, that's 12 against a few trillion billion.

ROGUES: Cool beans.




CORRAN: Tycho, I know you're a traitor, and I'm going to find you out

TYCHO: I have nothing to fear

PASH: (to himself) Hmm, better not let dad hear this...


CORRAN: Help me, help me, I'm not such of a fighter jock now that I have no control........

MIRAX: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

AIREN CRACKEN: Tycho's a traitor.

WEDGE: Great, Corran dead, and Tycho in jail. What's next, an SSD erupting from the surface of Coruscant?

 

computer game edition

JEDI OUTCAST

KYLE: OH YEAH, I ROCK!

the end

 

*kicks IronFist for using "cool beans"* ...


A-wing: No, no no..it's:

Kyle: OH YEAH! I ROCK!
Jan: I love you.
Kyle: OH YEAH!
Luke: Want to join the Academy?
Kyle: OH YEA-...no.



Ken Kenobi- And you have a nice day

 

LOL! Those are all great!!

What's next, an SSD erupting from the surface of Coruscant?
LMAO!!

 

*cannot stop laughing*

ROTFLMAO!!!

Man, is that funny - I should have come here earlier!!!!

 

THE BACTA WAR

WEDGE: Just like when we went into Coruscant, we're now going against 4 Star Destroyers. With one X-wing and a beat-up freighter...

MIRAX: Wedge...

WEDGE: Err...

~

ISARD: I lost some bacta!

ROGUES: Damn, she killed Shiel!

ISARD: I lost a Star Destroyer!

ROGUES: Ha ha

ISARD: I lost another Star Destroyer!

ROGUES: You suck. Now we'll plan...

ISARD: I lost my SSD and my other Star Destroyer! I must be one crap ruler!

ROGUES: WE KILLED ISARD!!!!!!

ISARD: I'll disappear now, and I'll see you in 3 books time...

WEDGE: It's official. I have now turned the leats disiplined squad in the galaxy around, and am now the commanding officer of the best squadron in the galaxy. What's next, me turning a squadron of Gammorreans, Ewoks, and humourists into the deadliest Intel unit around?


Darn. Wasn't as good as the last one...

2

 

Hey, it's much better than nothing, that's for sure. I needed some humor, anyways...Thanks!

 

Love the last line!

 

Well, I was kinda thinking of my earlier Wedge's gamble line, and I tried to do the same sort of thing...
I'll think up another one over the next few days... if I get time...

 

TALES FROM THE EMPIRE

EDITOR: Boring boring boring...drone drone drone...
MARA JADE: Hi Karrde
KARRDE: Hi Mara
TINIAN: Remember me from "Tales of the Bounty Hunters?" No? Oh well.
CORRAN: Now you too can all know just who this strange Lai Nootka is who we keep rattling on about in "The Krytos Trap"!
ADRAIC BRANDL: Does anybody actually care about me? Thought not.

//BORING STUFF HAPPENS WITH A LOAD OF CHARACTERS WHOSE NAMES I FORGOT

ZAHN/STACCKERS: Let's make "Side Trip" a shameless promotion for our Mary Sue characters!

//SOMETHING HAPPENS. I FORGET ABOUT IT UNTIL I REREAD "WEDGE'S GAMBLE".

The End

 

*kicks Rooty* Hey, I love Side Trip!

Oh well...

 

Other than the uncalled for jab at "Side Trip", that was great!

 

Refugee

Luke: We must find Zonoma Sekot in the most uninteresting way possible.

Chiss: Go read in the library.

Luke and co.: Huzzah!

Meanwhile...

Leia: The P'weck and the Keeramak are on our side.

Han: Woohoo!

Leia: Wait, no they're not.

Han: D'oh!

Leia: Wait, just the P'weck are.

Han: Is that good?

Leia: Yes.

Han: Woohoo!

Tahiri: I'm freakin' out!

Han: Tahiri, you so crazay.


Yeah, I decided to go for Simpsons ripoffs.

 

Vision of the Future

Mara: I hate you, Skywalker.
Luke: But we're stuck here on this planet together.
Mara: Doesn't change the fact I hate you.
Luke: Can't you try to be nice to me, as long as we're stuck here together and have to work together?
Mara: No.
Luke: Okay, fine.
Mara: Actually, I think I'll kill you.
Luke: I love you. Will you marry me?
Mara: Okay.




(Originally posted by me in the "Worst EU book ever not counting the NJO" thread.)


Dana

 

NJO Destiny's Way

Leia and Han go off to visit Imperial Commander to get more support.

Jaina kills some unimprotant Vong

Jacen and Vergere swap stories.

Vergere gets imprisoned by NRI

Vergere: Jacen has a special destiny
Luke: I agree totally

Cal Omas gets elected to be Chief Of State

Ackbar is back! Big Plans for killing Vong.

Wait a minute! There's Alpha Red

Vegere's tears destorys Alpha Red

Big fight - Vergere sacrifices herself to save Jacen and Jaina.

Jaina kills another unimportant Vong

Onimi screams for inept Vong's head.

 

I've only read this threa now, but I can't help commenting over this one:

Mara: I'm going to have a baby.
Luke: That's amazing! I love you! You're the best! Our baby is going to be great! We're a good couple!
Mara: Shut up.

It rocks!