Memph, TN EU Discussion Thread v. 2 - LOTF, KotOR, Dark Times, Rebellion, Legacy and more! (Spoilers!!!)

I've missed him, too.



And yes, Traci... nanoviruses. Not just one, but two. And it looks like they're doing it to appease fanboys. Yes, fanboys. Don't like that we had all those Mandalores? We'll just Alpha Red them! Hapans and Tenel Ka on your nerves? We'll smoke bomb them, too!

Seriously, WT*? The stuff on Mandalore was interesting and different. God forbid we do something interesting. And different.

And what about Ben, where does he go from here? And look! Jaina can be the IWOD! Good for her. That's what women are for in the GFFA. What the hell was she thinking when she said she didn't need a man, she was going to just be a Jedi? Pfft. Forget that she killed her brother the Sith (apparently in two paragraphs... She should have talked to her uncle on how you at least try...), that's not what's important. She's got to make Imperial Jedi babies, that's her real legacy.

Where is this supposed to lead? I'll tell you. No where. That's where. Good god. Why couldn't we just let Luceno do this one book?

 

Rhonda, have you seen the spoiler regarding Ben/Tahiri I never thought I'd see a 28-year old woman attempt to seduce a 14-year old boy in SW profic?

I've reached the point that I don't care about anything set post-ROTJ with Del Rey's name attached to it. If it wasn't for Dark Horse, I'd probably be out of the EU completely. I anticipate that my novel purchases will be few and far between if the author isn't Luceno, Stover, Perry or Traviss.

 

Is that Fonzie's motorcycle I hear revving in the distance? And why is this giant shark tank sitting here in the SW Universe?

 

Did someone call?


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Yep. That's it.

Can someone do some Photoshop work on that picture? I think we need to change the head.

 

Check out this thread from Lit. It appears that changes were made to several OS Databank entries, including Anakin's, for the new Clone Wars cartoon.

From the OS...

Impressed by Anakin's skill with the Force, the Jedi Council quickly conferred upon him the status of General and Jedi Knight at the war's outset.

So, how much EU does that invalidate again? I don't generally get caught up in the canon debates, but this is a major change to Anakin's character.

 

Hell, that changes George's own canon... about how the Council didn't think he was good enough to be Master. Although, technically they didn't say that.

 

I give up on Canon. It's changing way too much for me to try to keep up with.

And as our beloved, beflanneled Uncle Georgie gets older, the more he changes it. If it's this bad now, let's hope he never gets senile. Then we may have a blurb that Anakin's lightsaber was powered by Fruit Loops.

 

LOL, Nicki. I think I'm going to pop some popcorn for that thread.

 

Rhonda: Oh, yeah. The thread is getting good now. The continuity buffs' heads are exploding.

Tim: I'd laugh, but you're probably not far from the mark.

 

I'm kinda hoping George will go completely senile. Just think of the stuff that'll become canon...

The Jedi relocate to a new temple: Graceland!

The Force ghosts at the end of ROTJ include Qui-Gon, Elvis, and, strangely enough, Jon Bon Jovi.

"I Will Survive" replaces Lapti Nek in ROTJ.

The AT-AT's in ESB wear Depends.

Leia is completely replaced by a CGI character that is basically Luke in drag. George decides to do this after his caretaker accidentally lets him watch an episode of "The Beverly Hillbillies" where Jethro and Jethrine appear together.

The Dianoga in the trash compactor scene gets a musical number, complete with an Esther Williams-style female water ballet troupe.

R2-D2 speaks at the end of ROTJ, admitting that he's really a Sith Lord and could talk all along but just didn't want to.

The Death Star is replaced with a floating Jello mould. Lasers are shot out the three chunks of pineapple floating inside.

John Travolta's head is CGI'd onto Jar-Jar's body.

Anakin sings "Moon River" to Padme on Naboo in AOTC.

Mace Windu is replaced by a can of peaches in all three PT movies. No one can tell the difference.

Boga is replaced with a pantomime horse.

Yoda now has intestinal problems in all five movies in which he appears, complete with appropriate sound effects.

Sheman Hemsley voices Jabba the Hutt.

A Force-ghost of Padme appears to Obi-Wan while he's on the Death Star in ANH. She kicks him in the groin and calls him a "beatch".

And finally, Padme gives birth to triplets, one of which is named Lola, who is sent to Anakin/Vader and becomes his apprentice. Lola gives up on being a Sith in ANH, choosing instead to be a showgirl at the Cocacabana.




And you know what? We'll buy it on DVD because it's freakin' Star Wars!

 

OMG! I really needed that laugh this morning. How do you come up with those, Tim?

 

Oh, just part of my usual insanity, Kelly.

Oh, and I missed one:

And in TPM: Darth Maul is replaced by Gene Simmons from Kiss.

 

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Yay.

Del Rey's Contract Extended

 

Someone go on and book my room at Lakeside, cause I'm gonna lose my mind and act a fool up in here, up in here.

 

I've missed something obviously. Traci, why is there a Vader "You got served" banner up in Lit?

I mean, not that I'm complaining...

 

I have no idea why that banner is up in Lit. (I like it, though - except for the dark gray style sheet.) You want it here?


More Del Rey. Goody. Looking forward to it.


*prepares to spend even MORE money at Comic Cellar*

 

Y'all here that? It's champagne corks popping. Our Local Comic Book Sellers are celebrating Del Rey's contract extension.

 

Ooooh, yes, Traci.

 

Well, crap. It's down now. What was the name of it?

 

Havac put it up in honor of the canon implosion thread.

 

I broke down tonight and bought the first Coruscant Nights book, Jedi Twilight. I haven't started reading it yet, but the excerpt from the second Coruscant Nights book, Street of Shadows, caught my attention.

Spoilers......

The excerpt is from Captain Typho's POV. Apparently, he was secretly in love with Padme and had accepted the fact that they couldn't be together. (The excerpt makes it clear that he has no idea that Padme and Anakin were married.) He's now racked with guilt over Padme's death since he wasn't there to protect her. He knows that she went to Mustafar to meet Anakin and that she died due to strangulation (Yay. Here we go again... ). With no outward signs of strangulation, he has guessed that she was killed by a Force user, but he doesn't necessarily believe Anakin did it. He's headed to Coruscant to find Anakin to learn the identity of Padme's killer and avenge her death.

 

Wow... and the hits just keep comming....

 

I just got Jedi Twilight too. I just noticed the excerpt from the back today as well... Oh, well, it's just a story right?! LOL!
But the good news is the book as a whole isn't too bad. So hopefully you won't feel like you wasted your money and time reading it!