Events EUC Summer Block Party - Everyone is invited!!!

my bantha's breath smells like bantha poodoo!

 

uh Jawa, you are smelling the wrong end there. Thats not its breath you are smelling...

 

bantha poodoo is actually quite nutritious.

 

Well we know what to get you Dece.

 

Welcome ladies, gentlemen, and anyone else who doesn?t fall into those categories. Welcome to the first annual EUC Bantha races. We have a fantastic field today for you. Let?s meet the contestants.

In lane number one we have the Sith rider Tee who is on a young Bantha named Rebirth. Word on the street is she turned the former master of the Sith into a Bantha. Will that be enough to help her win? We shall see!

In lane number two we have a bantha named jawajames ridden by?you guessed it one of the sand people who refuses to give us his name. I think it is a him. Who knows in this crazy galaxy. WHOA! Sithspawn!

*ducks*

No, not Tee, that crazy sand person just shot at me! That isn?t in my contract!

In lane number three we have the vicious bounty hunter feared by all known as Bardan_Jusik! He has used his money wisely and bought a veteran bantha racer known as Jello. Do they have what it takes?

And finally in lane number 4 we have Darth_Deception! This man is perhaps the greatest Bantha racer to ever walk this sand! You will see a fantastic effort from him.

I might eat my hat I?m so excited about this race.

The contestants are lining up at the start.

 

*yells across from the stands*
Hey Tee!

HEYYY TEE!! *waves franticly* TEEEEEEEEE!!
THERES SOMETHING IMPORTANT I HAVE TO YELL AT YOU!

Goodluck!

*unfirls a banner that reads 'If in doubt, kill them'*

 

*Looks up in the stands right before the bantha almost bucks her off*

"Whoah there be good little sit.......er....i mean bantha."

 

*digs heels into Bantha Jello*

You better be worth the credits I paid, or else I am going to sell you to a glue factory.

 

I am perhaps the greatest bantha racer to ever walk this sand?



*cries*

 

Aight, I'm here for the party. Where's the food?

Evil.

 

The burgers and steaks are all gone oh Evil one. But if you wait for the end of the race we are going to cook up the losing Bantha.

 

Have you informed the banthas about the steaks? It would most certainly be an amazing race if they understood that the loser was going to die.

Evil.

 

I certainly informed my bantha that if it doesn't live up to the price I paid for it, that its next stop will be the glue factory.

 

The day is hot. The air is dry. Tatooine arena is not for the faint of heart. Wayward travelers guzzle water and scramble around each other to get a glimpse of the four bantha racers. Tusken raiders wrapped in layers of cloth for protection against the harsh elements climb into the rocky cliffs in order to stake out the best places to interrupt the race. One lone announcer sits higher than everyone in order to follow the race. She alone will be able to see everything that is going on. The race is in her hands.

The banthas line up. Their hairy legs and wolly backsides must be covered in sweat from the heat. The beasts are used to this, but it still must be miserable. The Sith rider, TEE gathers her robes around her and leaps lightly, flipping in the air once before landing on her mount?s back. She grasps the strap and readies herself for the start. The bantha named jawajames calmly knees down so the sandperson (see I?m getting smarter!) can climb aboard. Jawajames gives a shake of his big wolly head and settles in for the start. Bardan_jusik hits a button on his armor and as jets shoot out he flies gracefully upwards to land on the back of his bantha Jello. The leather wrapped around a large stick is removed and the bounty hunter reveals how he intends to make his mount move faster than the others. Finally we have the cool calm that is Darth_Deception. He pretty much appears on the back of his bantha, movement too fast for me to catch how he got there. The veteran racer seems sure he has this race in the bag.

The contestants are all lined up and ready to go.

Boom

A blaster goes off and the race is on!

Deception immediately shows why he is a previous banth winner and takes his mount quickly to the lead followed by Bardan_jusik and jawajames. The three are racing?ok meandering along the track and coming into the first turn. What?s this? Back at the starting line TEE can?t get her mount Rebirth to move.

Laughter

The bantha has laid down! Oh what is this?

TEE is using the force to lift herself and her bantha and they are gliding down the track! This has got to be illegal and against all regulations! Let me find my rulebook! Who has a rulebook?

Halfway around the first turn now and Bardan_jusik is out for blood. He is using the stick to beat his bantha as well as attempting to knock Deception from his mount. Folks apparently there are no rules in this race! Let ?em at each other! TEE has caught up to the pack and has finally convinced her bantha to run with the others. jawajames seems content for now to let the others go at it and wait for his moment.

Deception has decided that he has had enough and in a bold incomprehensible maneuver leaps off the back of his bantha and tackles the bounty hunter. The dust flies and the cries of the riderless banthas are heard above the roar of the crowd. This is unprecedented! Both riders are now out of the race!

TEE and jawajames are the only two racers left. Who will win?

 

*continues to beat at Deception with the stick even as they fly off their Banthas and to the ground in the midst of a sand dune*

I hate sand.

 

Same here.

 

I thought Mandalorians were made up of sterner stuff then that. I guess like just like Vader, under all of that fancy armor is a whinny, emo teenager.

 

Just wait until you get sand under your armor and tell me how much you like it!

 

*Holds on to bantha*

"There we go bantha, i'll get you a treat if you win."

 

hey, i want a treat too!

 

EUC barbie! *joins in* Go banthas!

It's course and tastless and irritating, and in my burger.

 

shh!!!! it's a secret!

 

So... is this thing still open?

 

Nine years since I first started wasting my time in this forum? Things never change.