EUCNN: Always on.

Perhaps a report on the senate from the view of senator of an insignifigant thread.

I object to that!!!













The LOL is more insignificant that you'll ever be!

 

RH: Good evening, this is Rogue1-and-a-half, special correspondent inside the bowels of the Yuzzhan Vong Military Force. Here with me now is a fugitive from the wrath of the Vong, CmdrMitthrawnuruodo. Welcome, Cmdr.

CM: Thanks, Half, it's rather frightening to be here.

RH: Agreed. For me too. I'm risking the wrath of the Vong's hierarchy just being seen with you.

CM: Then why did you do it?

RH: Because the job of a reporter is to ferret out the truth wherever it may lie.

CM: And what was it that led you to become a correspondent for EUCNN, given the fact that at first you denounced farraday as corrupt?

RH: Well . . . hold it. I'm supposed to be interviewing you.

CM: Isn't it true that you took a generous payoff from farraday in exchange for your silence? ISN'T IT?

RH: . . .

CM: Sorry.

RH: Okay, if we can get back to business. Now, Cmdr, you've been around a long time haven't you?

CM: Oh, yes, almost fifty years.

RH: Fifty years? But you don't look fifty . . .

CM: Oh, of course, I'm not fifty. Don't be ludicrous. But if you add up the ages of all my socks, you get somewhere around fifty.

RH: Ah, I see. So, tell me, Cmdr, what exactly did you do to invoke the wrath of the Vong?

CM: Well, I'm afraid you'll have to talk to Mr. Bobo about that.

RH: Mr. Bobo? Who is Mr. Bobo?

CM(pulling sock over his head and speaking in high falsetto): I am Mr. Bobo.

RH: . . .

MB: Well, did you have a question for me?

RH: Cmdr. . .

MB: MY NAME IS BOBO! CALL ME BOBO!!

RH: Bobo, eh,

MB: Yes?

RH: Bobo . . . Ah, for crying out loud, I can't do this. This is insane. Take of the sock, Cmdr.

MB: No.

RH: I'm not talking to Bobo.

MB: Well, Cmdr isn't talking to you.

RH: Last warning: take it off.

MB: No.

RH: You asked for it.

MB: Get your hand away.

RH: Hold still, blast you.

MB: Help!! MURDER!!!

Cut to:

Announcer: Hee hee hee, what is more heartwarming than the affectionate scuffling of two old friends? (loud ripping sounds are heard) Well, tune in next time when our special correspondent will shine his light of truth into the Expanded Universe Defence Force.

 

LOL

 

LOL! I think I'm starting to see a pattern occuring at the end of your interviews, R 1.5

 

Hey, I can't help it if all the people I interview are morons.

 

*Throws plastic snake at 1.5*

thx much.

 

Now now, we talked about that role playing didn't we?

 

We now have an interview with Darth_Duck, former candidate for Chancellor.

Dev:Now, you dropped out of the race shortly before the election. Why?

DD:Yes. I didn't think that I would win.

Dev:Interesting. Now, recently you made the following quote: I'll get you where, you're most venerable, your washroom, do not go in alone!!!!.

DD:Yes, and it was a joke. I have no ill-will towards barns.

Dev:Whatever. Now, you used the word 'venerable', meaning 'respected' or 'sacred'.

DD:I meant vulnerable. It was a typo.

Devid you, really? Then how do you explain the fact that Senate leadership was recently changed?

DD:There was an election.

Dev:Uh-huh. Does this have anything to do with your dropping out of the race, or FID's surprise resignation?

DD:Uh... what are you getting at?

Dev:When you made that comment, were you alluding to a secret barns-worshipping cult living in the Senate washrooms?

DD:That's insane. I'm out of here.

We were unable to continue the interview. So, we sent a camera crew to the Senate building to investigate.

A tape begins to roll, showing the Senate washrooms. Scribbled on the walls are phrases such as Lord Bane was here! and All Bantam and no Marvel make Genghis12 mad at Zahn.

Security guard (Off screen): Hey! What are you doing in here with that camera?

The camera turns, to face a security guard.

Guard:Excuse me, you're going to have to get that camera out of here. No film crews in the washroom.

Dev:And if we refuse to leave?

Guard:Uh... I'm not sure, I'm new at this, what with the change in leadership and all.

Dev:Will you shoot us if we don't leave?

Guard: Uh... yeah. I will. (He pulls out his blaster)

Dev:You're pointing the wrong end of that at us.

Guardh... right.

Dev:And it isn't charged.

Guard:Leave me alone! I'm new at this!

Dev:And that's a remote control, not a blaster.

The guard starts crying and runs from the room as the tape ends.

Dev:As you can see, we were threatened with violence by a security guard. Why? Is there really a cult of barns followers in the Senate washrooms? Why were they so desperate to get rid of us? Is this a cover-up? Or did they just not want us to take cameras in the washrooms? We will continue this investigation.

 

ROTFL!

And of course, barns is the head of the janitorial unit at LOL! It all makes sense now. Keep us posted on this one.

 

The farraday group, a completely unscripted unrehearsed ... thingy with the people... and the... I need a drink.
<Cue music>

fdy:Welcome to the farraday group, with me are this week?s panelist, Darth Ludicrous, barnsthefatjedi, Fire_Ice_Death, and Yanksfan. Hello all.

Yf:Stupid Expos....
btfj: Hello peons!
F_I_D: OOOhh butterflies.
DL: I really need a new agent.
fdy:Hah! You're a funny man. Anyways topic number 1, the increase of thread pertaining to "real life" in the EUC, barns?
btfj: Whats... real life?
fdy: That place where you're not a god.
<btfj goes into catatonic shock>
fdy: Interesting.... Yanksfan?
YF: I for one welcome more threads on the Yankees... in fact I'm starting a Derik Jeter's butt fanclub..
DLlease tell me shes joking.
fdy: Ha! No that?s our Yanksfan... I fear to ask but... F_I_D?
F_I_D:I like cats... my cats name is fluffy. She once ate the goldfish... that was bad.
DL: If I may interject here, if you people think there?s a problem with a thread contact an admin via PM and give them the link, they'll decide.. and I swear farraday if you laugh I will ban you.
fdy: <coughs> well hmm issue number 2 F_I_D's resignation of the position of Chancellor...
DL: You mean this guy was chancellor?
fdy: yes....
DL: You people are morons!
<everyone looks ay F_I_D>
F_I_D: ...so we took fluffy to the vegetarians and they checked her fur....
<DL shudders>
btfj: <awakens> I have a small speech to give on why I should be Chancellor... it should only take twenty minutes or so....
fdy: barns... real life.
<btfj slips back into shock>
fdy: What about you Yanksfan?
YF: Oh what? sorry I was drawing pictures of me and my little jeter-weter.
fdy: Thats just disturbing. Issue number 3, the Ludicrous Operations League... opinions? I go to you first Darth Ludicrous.
DL For the last time I have no clue who they are.
fdy: Hmm very interesting... Yanksfan?
YF: They're just a bunch of fools messing around... essentially harmless, a lot like Pittsburgh.
F_I_D: ...and then she got stuck in a tree and we had a hard time getting her down but it was funny because she meowed...
fdy: Final Issue...
DL: Finally.... dang.
fdy: Hah! You're a funny guy... hmm lets just skip to final thoughts. While the EUC continues to grow we will what I like to call "growing pains" these will include but not be limited to alien invaders, unsightly blemishes and prune juice. Be sure to pack a toothbrush. Final thoughts everyone?
DL: farraday one day I will crush your skull and feast on the gooey things inside.
fdy: ohhhh you do make me laugh so..
Yf: Is one of you by any chance actually Derik Jeter?
fdy: Um... no
btfj:<awaken> Can I give my....
fdy: Real life
btfj: <thud>
F_I_D: I swallowed my microphone.
fdy: Goodnight this is farraday saying... Boo!
<fade>

Any image person or joke that ion some way offends you was not intended.. Unless it was funny. We are not responsible for anything said or done by anyone, ever.
Any lawsuit is completely useless.
Prosecutors will be violated.

 

ROTFLOL!

ohhh, you do make me laugh so.

Can I give my

real life

thud

 

Damn...Im a moron, LoL I love that post, it's great I couldn't stop laughing.

 

LOL! I'd like to give a short appreciation about that humorous report.

For quite some time now I have been featured in the EUCNN.........

Proceedes to give one hour speech

 

OH GOD THIS IS GREAT! I still can't catch my breath! Anyway...

************
Today we are going to delve deep into the mind of barnsthefatjedi. Grab your scuba gear and brain handling gloves and lets go!

*Scene switches to reporter floating in a red-grey goop*

To my left you will see barns' left frontal lobe, and to my right, his right frontal lobe. Lets get closer.

*reporter swims through the goop*

As you can see barns's brain is very different from the brains of mortals. This area behind me is usually ten times as big in a regular human, and lacks this weird green film. Over to my left, you can see a long gash on the left side of the right frontal lobe. That is usually a bulge, and increases hand eye co-ordination. Lets touch it.

*Scene cuts to barns giving a speech to the senate*

...And I promise to uphold the standards that this office entails...*while speaking barns is knocking over water glasses and podiums left and right*

*Scene shifts to reporter*

Well, that was interesting. Lets move on to the area where doctors think Barns's god complex comes from.

*swims through goop*

What the hell is that?! It's huge! That must be where the god complex comes from. I'm going to get rid of it, it looks diseased.

*pulls out machete and hacks away the growth*

*scene cuts to barns*


I am God! I am God! You can say it to!

*camera sweeps around and there is a huge crowd chanting*

BARNS IS GOD! BARNS IS GOD!

*Camera sweeps back*

I am Go- I'm not a god! I'm not a god! People stop! Stop! For the love of Pete stop!

*scene shifts back to reporter*

Join us next week, when we delve into the mind of farraday.

 

I'm not sure I could take that.

 

LOL! ROTFLMAO!

 

This is a great new channel....

 

Puts on Wailen(sp) Smithers voice

Something tells me Barns needs me!

Swerves speedboat around, toppling a human pyramid water skiing at the rear

 

Although the interview made fun of me....I still laughed

Anyway here's a news tip for EUCNN: investigate the following: jigbig896, Quel-Droma001, and MRukundo. For further details, see "Who's sick of the solo kids?", "ORGANIZATION OF FLAMMERS", and the last two or three pages of "The Jaina Solo Fan Club" threads.

I'm certain you can find alot of material there.

 

I for one am VERY offended, farraday. Everyone knows my boy's name is DEREK Jeter. (but the 'nice butt' part was true enough)

LOL! Please invite me back on your panel sometime.

 

And now the interview you've all been waiting for.

fdy: Hello with me now is Timothy "Tim" Zahn
TZ: Well thats one way to put it, if I may suggest you try it again and this time say, "Welcome, with me now is master fiction writer Timothy Zahn Hugo award winner"
fdy: I don't think so.
TZ: No, really, I think you'll find my way is much better.
fdy: Anyways, I have a sworn affadavit from a group of terrorist posters headed by a certain "G 12" that demand that I surrendor you to them or they'll blow up the Senate. Why do you inspire so much hatred in people?
TZ: They're jealous. It's as simple as that. It's understandable. How many people can say they've recived the hugo award three newberries had more then 20 books published over 60 short stories and recieved the "Balding and Beautiful" magazines most likely to get a toupee award three years running?
fdy: I'd say not many people... anything else?
TZ: I got a citizenship award in third grade.
fdy: They don't just give those out to anyone.
TZ: Thats right.
fdy: Yep, you have to be a citizen.
TZ: And that isn't easy!
fdy: Right. So tell me, how do you get inspired to write?
TZ: Generally it happens when I'm looking in the mirror.
fdy: Oh?
TZ: Yes, after all what could be more inspiring then me?
fdy: I can't say.
TZ: Thats right!
fdy: What do you think of the entire Star Wars universe?
TZ: I think it's doing rather well. I mean there are my five books and a few of my short stories.. then a whole bunch of faqn fiction... I hear they even made a couple movies.
fdy: ... Movies?
TZ: Yeah if you liked my books you might like them too.
fdy: ... Who created Star Wars?
TZ: Actually I got the name from this anti missle thingy Regan was doing... thought it soudned cool so I wrote my trilogy.
fdy: George Lucas...?
TZ: didn't he do that movie...
fdy: Yes!
TZ: TUV 1234 or something like that?
fdy: I give up.... look a mirror!
TZ: where!?!?
<hits Zahn over the head with a "A New Hope" screenplay>
fdy: Mr. G 12, if you're listening we have Zahn, we'll deliver him to you.
And could you blow up the Senate anyways?
TZ: Oww... whats happening?
fdy: You're going to be beaten by a bunch of fanatical fanboys.
TZ: Oh no not again... just not the face... please I haven't paid it off yet.

<fade>

 

LOL

 

LOL, that was great!!! Truly a classic piece of literature. LoL

 

LOL, love the balding and beautiful part!!!

 

This just in: farraday leaves for the weekend, and Kansasnavy gone until next week. Meanwhile Fire_Ice_Death has superceded all protocol to become the head anchorman of the EUCNN for now. More on this story as it develops.