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EUCNN: Always on.

Discussion in 'EU Community' started by farraday, Jun 2, 2001.

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  1. Rogue1-and-a-half

    Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Nov 2, 2000
    LOL! Loved the best of KansasNavy and happy birthday, man!
  2. Lord Bane

    Lord Bane Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    May 26, 1999
    Whoo-hoo for a birthday.
  3. KansasNavy

    KansasNavy Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 10, 2001
    Hello. I'm KansasNavy. We interupt the regularly scheduled static for this Breaking New Update.
    Today was a very eventful day. DarthCleo is stepping down as Administrator of the Jedi Council Forums. Her successor, a little known TF.N Film VIP; Jeff 'Azeem'. DarthCleo will be on leave for 3 months for undisclosed reasons.
    Earlier this evening, I got TheGatherer's thoughts on the issue.

    KN: Hello.
    TGa: Hey.
    KN: Anyway, what are your thoughts on DarthCleo leaving us?
    TGa: It's terrible. She was like a mother to me. She'd always tell me to put this or that down, and not to play matches at the gas station. She taught me very valuable lessons.
    KN: Yeah...I wish somebody had told me about those matches. Hehe...good times. Anyway, do you think Azeem will be a good leader.
    TGa: No. He doesn't have the "right stuff".
    KN: The "right stuff"?
    TGa: You know; "pazazz", "spunk", "talent". He doesn't have it. Not like DarthCleo.
    KN: I have those qualities, why no-
    TGa: Breaks into histerical laughter
    KN: What! You don't think I'd be a good administrator.
    TGa: Huh? Oh, sorry. That chipmunk out there was doing the funniest thing. Go on.
    KN: I'm just saying. Do you think I'd be a good-
    TGa: Breaks into histerical laughter again
    KN: Stop looking at that chipmunk!
    TGa: Sorry. Ummmmm-no! You'd be terrible.
    KN: I'm that bad?
    TGa: Honestly? Yeah. You are a terrible person. Take this show for an example-
    KN: HEY! Lay off, this is my-
    TGa: See. You have a temper. This isn't even your thread. You're just a temporary replacement...for...farraday.
    KN: See? I was bumped up to head anchor because farraday had to leave!
    TGa: How many times have you been banned?
    KN: Once. As my old ID, FighterJock, though. That was a long time ago.
    TGa: Most admins have never been banned.
    KN: Thanks alot Captain Bring-down.
    TGa: I'm just saying. You're a much better yellow journalist. That's your niche in the forums.
    KN: Really!?
    TGa: Farraday would be the best yellow-journalist. You're, er, second-best. Maybe.
    KN: Oh...
    TGa: How would you like to become an admin for a day?
    KN: That'd be cool.
    TGa: Great. Just come this way

    They walk down a dark hallway, where Gen. Madine's Hairpiece walks out

    GMH: You never payed for my truck, boy!
    KN: TheGatherer?
    TGa: Prepare for a royal betting, mate.
    KN: Traitor...

    Rock'n Like a Hurricane starts palying as screen fades
  4. The Gatherer

    The Gatherer Jedi Youngling star 6

    Aug 2, 1999
    Hysterical, however, I question your journalistic accuracy. For the record, Azeem is will be a great replacement for Nic, either temporary, or permanent.
  5. KansasNavy

    KansasNavy Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 10, 2001
    Journalistic accuracy, LoL!
  6. Rogue1-and-a-half

    Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Nov 2, 2000
    "Thanks a lot, Captian Bring Down."

  7. KansasNavy

    KansasNavy Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 10, 2001
    Hello. I am KansasNavy. I am here with a select group of individuals to discuss the recent stepping-down of DarthCleo. Rogue_One-and-a-Half, Kadue, and Corran.

    KN: Hello.
    Half: Hey hey.
    Ka: G'day mate.
    Cr: What am I doing here?

    KN: First; do you think Azeem will be a good replacement?
    Half: Not at all. If he messes with the JC's complicated dew-hicky's, then KABLAAMO! Or so I've been told.
    Kd: I disagree with Kwenn. His Kablaamo talk is ridiculous and un-fair to Azeem. He knows how to work this stuff.
    Cr: I was thinking, wouldn't it be easier to use a-
    KN: Next. Any ideas when DarthCleo will be back?
    Cr: I was jus-
    Half: She will be back. Unfortunately, it will take a natural gas explosion and a JC-wide flame war. This plan-er...possibility...will force her to come back and take me to the JCC Pool Party as my date. Then we will go to the-
    KN: Ewww...she's already married. This is live-
    Hald: Isn't there an edit on that-just give me the-hand it over!!!
    KN: It's gonna take some money.
    Kd: Sorry my fellow board member is a little sip-sip if you know what I mean.
    Sm: This is disgusting. If I weren't hand-cuffed to this-
    KN: Kadue. Thoughts?
    Kd: Well...Azeem seems to be a nice guy. He has the charm of that funny little ex-President from Serbia. What's his name-Slobadon Milosevic. Yep, he's got the same look in his eye as the Slobadon.
    KN:...That's disturbing.
    Cr: Come on guys. It's not funny anymore. Let me out of here.
    KN: Sure. Let me get the keys.
    Cr: Thanks. I really need to get back to the EUDF. I was supposed to bring them Chinese food.
    KN: Sure. And how about a police escort to get you there faster?
    Cr: Thanks, that'd be gre-wait. I'm detecting sarcasm.
    KN: Good. Because I'm laying it on thick.
    Half: Dude. You totally misunderstood what I meant.
    Kd: I know what you meant, and it's disgusting. Where I come from, Australia, we value respect and chivalry...mate.
    Half: You got it all wrong, it's just a joke. Laugh. It's funny. Haha...ha. Here's $40 for the tape.
    KN: Sold.
    Cr: Guys...
    Everybody: Quiet!
    KN: Thanks for the bucks. It's over in that camera.
    Half: Wait! No it's not! It's live!
    Kd: Hey! He took my wallet! Where'd he go?
    Half: Let's split up. You go out to the parking lot. I'll head to the snack bar.
    Kd: Great idea!
    Cr: I guess I'm the only one left. This is Corran saying goodnight, and never follow a sign that says 'Shortcut' and points to an ally. Goodnight.


  8. Corran

    Corran Jedi Padawan star 4

    Dec 4, 2000

    Well that WAS me Dazzeld and confused :)
  9. Rogue1-and-a-half

    Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Nov 2, 2000
    ROFLOL! That is hilarious.

    If I wasn't hadcuffed to this . . .

    Here's forty dollars for the tape.

    Riotious! I'm headed for the snack bar.
  10. DemonicJedi

    DemonicJedi Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 11, 2001
    "never follow a sign that says 'Shortcut' and points to an ally"

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]
  11. Ghost_of_Theron

    Ghost_of_Theron Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jul 6, 2001
    Do you mean Alley or Ally
  12. DemonicJedi

    DemonicJedi Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 11, 2001
    I just copied and pasted but i think he meant Alley the passage way between buildings
  13. Ghost_of_Theron

    Ghost_of_Theron Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jul 6, 2001
    Yeah I was just making sure it didn't sound right.
  14. KansasNavy

    KansasNavy Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 10, 2001
    Hello. I'm KansasNavy. Tonight, I am going to interview Brevet Commodore Jedi Merkurian
    about the current situation in the war with the Ep.II&III Forum and EUDF.

    KN: Hey.
    JM: Hello.
    KN: Care if I ask any questions?
    JM: I'm happy to take any questions you might have with the understanding that there are certain sensitive areas that I'm just not going to get into. Particularly, information that might be useful to the enemy.
    KN: How do you think this war is going?
    JM: While this war is by no means over, it is certainly fair to say that we have inflicted heavy damage on the Prequel war machine, and every day brings victory for the EUDF that much closer.
    KN: What date are we going to start the ground attack?
    JM: Well, as I mentioned a moment ago, there are certain sensitive areas which we are just not going to go into, and that is certainly one of them. Yes?
    KN: Sir, knowing what you know, where would you say our forces are most vulnerable to attack, and how could the Canonites best exploit those weaknesses?
    JM: Well, again, this falls into the area of information that might be useful to the enemy, and I just can't divulge it right now.
    KN: Uh-huh. Um...which method of hiding flame missiles is working best for the Canonites?
    JM: Now, this again is a good example of information that could help the enemy, and I just can't answer that.
    KN: Okay. Now, I have a two-part question. Are we planning an amphibious invasion of the TPM Forum, and if so, what thread exactly will that be?

    person appears from shadows behind Jedi Merkurian

    Kwenn: Excuse me. If I could interrupt here, I just want to underscore what Jedi Merkurian said at the start of Q&A. There are two general categories of questions that we are simply not going to be able to address. On, those that would give our enemy advance warning of our actions, and two, those that would identify any points of weakness or vulnerabilities to the Prequel forces. So let's continue.

    disappears again

    KN: I understand...understand that there are passwords that our troops use on the front lines. Could you give us some examples of those?
    JM: No, that is something I really cannot comment on.
    KN: Yeah...are we planning an amphibious invasion of TPM Forum? And if so, where?
    JM: I believe that question was asked and if you recall, I already answered it, or said I could not answer.
    KN: Oops. What would be the one piece of information that would be most dangerous for the Canonites to know?
    JM: No can answer! I have time for two more questions. You, over there.
    DH: Yes, Darth_Holliday, Ep.II Times. Where are your troops, and can I go there and count them?
    JM: Nope! Last question.
    KN: Is there anything that you can tell us that would lower the morale of our fighting men?
    JM: No. Really, can you not understand me.

    JM walks out followed by Kwenn

    KN: Well, there youy have it folks. The war is still being fought. We'll bring you updates as soon as they become available. Good night.
  15. Kwenn

    Kwenn Jedi Master star 5

    Mar 30, 2001
    LOL! And I was in it! ROTFLOL!
  16. Senator_Elegos_A-Kla

    Senator_Elegos_A-Kla Jedi Master star 5

    Jan 18, 2001
    ROTFLMAO! The last two article are so funny [face_laugh] keep it up!
  17. XCountryJedi

    XCountryJedi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Feb 15, 2001
    I've been an avid watcher of this channel and well I'd like to give a little back by informing you that the Empire has returned and the Rebel Alliance is already forming. I'm sure there will plenty a news to be covered in the next week or two. Well, keep up the good work.

    -Lt. Commander XCountryJedi of the Imperial Navy.
  18. barnsthefatjedi

    barnsthefatjedi Jedi Knight star 5

    Feb 17, 2001
  19. Jedi Merkurian

    Jedi Merkurian New Films Thread Reaper and Rumor Naysayer star 6 Staff Member Manager

    May 25, 2000
  20. KansasNavy

    KansasNavy Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 10, 2001
    Hello. I am KansasNavy. Today, our guest is one of the cornerstone leaders of the Rebel Alliance, Fire_Ice_Death.

    KN: Hello.
    FID: Hi. Thanks for inviting me onto you're program.
    KN: You can't keep yourself out of the spotlight, can you?
    FID: No, I can't. I like to mess around with people and their minds.
    KN: I thought you were in charge of a school for people without any common sense.
    FID: After I got their credit card numbers, I shut it down.
    KN: Oh, good for you. What makes you think that the over-populated EUC needs a rebellion.
    FID: Well, we're fighting for the right of all EUC members. We want our freedom back.
    KN: Freedom of what?
    FID: The Imperial Navy.
    KN: But they're a new and unstable group. If anything, they're the rebellion, and you're the rebellion of their rebellion.
    FID: Huh!?
    KN: The EUCNN's more powerful than the Imperial Navy and Rebel Alliance; combined. I don't understand what you're trying to gain.
    FID: I want freedom for the EUC!
    KN: Shouldn't that be the EU Senate's job. A job you fell out of because you were tired of being a leader. Hmmm...thought provoking.
    FID: I am going to stand up to the Imperial juggernaut!
    KN: So are you going to physically tell the Imp Navy to back off?
    FID: My troops will do that.
    KN: So, you're saying that your 'troops' fight for their freedoms against the Navy. What exactly would you say that you do?
    FID: Look, people like me; okay!!!
    KN: How do you plan on fighting them?
    FID: Well, we have some illegally smuggled fireworks from the Collecting Forum. Oooh, we also have a [link=]B-52[/link] retrofitted with an F1 engine from the Saturn V rocket. Or was it the other way around?
    KN: What does that do?
    FID: It goes fast! Funk'n fast!
    KN: Impressive...
    FID: You should see it go in reverse!
    KN: What makes you think you stand a chance?
    FID: HA-HA-HA-HA-Hahaha breathes in Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha! Ohh, that's rich! Hee-Hee! We're gonna get our arse's kicked. Royally!
    KN: You don't sound too optimistic?
    FID: Why should I? No matter what, I'm going to come out on top.
    KN: No you won't. You've put yourself in a position where you'll burn at the stake for any mistakes you've made.
    FID: Wait; is the Rebel Alliance the one with the Star Destroyers and Stormtroopers.
    KN Last time I checked; no.
    FID: Oh...oh man. Ah crap on a stick! Argh!
    KN: You sound upset?
    FID: Nah, I'm fine. It's just-begins pacing back and forthI don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going in my life. My Senate just died, I can't start a Rebellion right, and everytime I'm driving down the highway, I just want to steer the car into a FUNKING BRIDGE SUPPORT GIRDER!!!
    KN: You're a psycho.
    FID: I can't believe you called me a psycho.
    KN: Are you in here with yourself, you ARE a psycho!
    FID: At least I don't sell ill-
    KN: Well I hope this answers any questions you have about the upcoming war and the sanity of their leaders. Goodnight folks.
    FID: -the internet.


  21. Darth_Kettch

    Darth_Kettch Jedi Youngling star 3

    Apr 29, 2001
    The hope of the Rebellion rests on it's leader's shoulders...
  22. CmdrMitthrawnuruodo

    CmdrMitthrawnuruodo Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Jul 1, 2000
    ROFLMAO@last article
  23. Fire_Ice_Death

    Fire_Ice_Death Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Feb 15, 2001
    Hehehehe.....this rebel/imp situation is RP. :D LoL, nice article though, blantant rip-off of Tommy Boy though.
  24. KansasNavy

    KansasNavy Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 10, 2001
    Ohh...most of my stuff is a blantant rip-off of alot ofthings, blended together, and then rearranged in a bizarre manner, creating the end product.

    It's only plagerism(sp?) if you copy off a single person. It's research if it's many.

    Someone PM how many things farraday and I ripped off of and mutated towards our twisted styles, and the winner will get something cool.

    Otherwise, don't crimp mi style!
  25. leia393

    leia393 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Mar 24, 2001
    LOL That was great as usual.

    What is plagerism? *says it slowly like discovering a new word* 8-} If it's connected to copyright, it's a bunch of unimportant garbage.
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